Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

It is difficult to realise that all these improvementsin the child's life may dwindledown to nothing when weighed against the factthat it has to leave its family to gain them.This state of affairs is still more difficult to understandwhen we consider that many of themothers concerned are not "good mothers" inthe ordinary sense of the word. We dealawithlarge majority of mothers who are affectionate,intelligent, hard working and ready tomake every possible sacrifice for their children;but there are a minority of mothers whoThey may be lazy and negligent,are neither.hard and embittered and unable to give affection.There are others who are overly strict intheir demands and make the life and upbringingof the child extremely difficult. It is aknown fact that children will cling even tomothers who are continually cross and sometimescruel to them. The attachment of thesmall child to its mother seems to a large degreeindependent of her personal qualities, andcertainly of her educational ability.This statement is not based on any sentimentalconception of the sacredness of the tie betweenmother and child. It is the outcome ofdetailed knowledge of the growth and natureof the child's emotional life in which the figureof the mother is for a certain time the sole importantrepresentative of the whole outer world.45