Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

development in two main respects: One, thatthis childish love is the pattern for all laterlove relationships. The ability to love—likeother human faculties—has tobe learned andpracticed. Wherever, through the absence of orthe interruption of personal ties, this opportunityis missing in childhood, all later relationshipswill develop weakly, will remainshallow. The opposite of this ability to loveis not hate, but egoism. The feelings whichshould go to outside objects remain inside theindividual and are used up in self-love. Thisis not what we want to produce.The second aspect is of equal importance.It is this first love of the child which educationmakes use of. Education demands from thechild continuous sacrifices. The child has togive up his primitive habits, to become clean,to lessen his aggression, to restrict his greed,to renounce his first sexual wishes. He is readyto pay this price if he gets his parents' lovein return. If such love is not available, educationeither has to threaten or to drill or tobribe— all methods unsatisfactory in their results.therefore, will largely depend on whetherOur educational success in the war nurseries,we can succeed in creating, or conserving forthe children, their proper emotional relationshipswith the outside world.191