Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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I have seen other nursery schools despair ofthese attempts. Instead of creating mother substitutes,they try to lay greater stress on the newand positive elements of nursery life itself.After all, the child gets more companionshipand social life than he would at home. Andwhat is lacking in mother's love might be givenin a general atmosphere of friendliness andaffection, in intelligent care and better educationalefforts than the untaught mother wouldhave been capable of.Ihave seen astonishingly few attempts madeto include the real mothers themselves in thelife of the nursery. There are very few nurserieswhere mothers' visits are welcome, whereefforts are made to bring home routine andnursery routine into one line. The danger evidentlyis not realised that the child who goesback and forth between home and nursery may,in the end, feel strange in both places. Evenin residential nurseries no material help isgiven to make mothers' visits more frequent; norto provide facilities to lengthen the durationof such visits.I once tried to explain to an official visitorwhy the nurseries I am connected with spenda good deal of time and planning on parents'visits, and gladly suffer every disturbance ofroutine to make the parents take their share inthe life of the nursery. My visitor said that,188af-
ter all, the children could not have everything."You can't have it all nice in a war." Thisevidently means that when the other needs ofthe child are provided for, love from the parentsis a luxury. It is certainly nice for thechild to have it, only wartime has temporarilydone away with that luxury as it has withothers.I had heard this same remark applied duringthe last war, referring to material things likesugar, fresh fruit and butter, of which continentalchildren were deprived. At that timethese things were considered luxuries. Sincethen, they have been recognized as body buildingmaterials. Today, all efforts are made toprovide children with sugar and vitamins; everybodyis afraid of the consequences causedby deficiencies in this respect. At some laterdate, when knowledge of the psychic needsof the child is more wide-spread, we shall bejust as frightened at the thought of the deficienciesin the child's psychic development whenevernecessary elements, like the "mother relationship,"are insufficiently existent in his earlyyouth.Today the knowledge that certain types ofmental maladjustment always coincide with thelack of an ordinary home life in the first fiveyears, is still restricted to a few psychiatrists andphychologists.189
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
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not develop on quite the same lines
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the present. New ties are form Ther
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fine or even make a mental picture
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urn Road after their houses had bee
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i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
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their pets, which they probably wou
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finite way of demonstrating the sce
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and narcissistic at the beginning o
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caused by neglect; it can, on the o
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tion of aggression due to the examp
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ig or small that loss may be, the f
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The second case, Sylvia, three and
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the destruction which goes on aroun
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with the mother which contains all
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esidential homes these should be si
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The previous part of the book isbas
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AllayingFearEven children whose mot
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their children. They appreciate eve
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street next to the one in which she
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This same state of affairs continue
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went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
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Blitz in September and October 1940
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ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
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more than a year her junior.Her lat
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whether this was the way in which s
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ditions was too short to make up fo
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or abnormal outcome seems to be the
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somehow included in it and soon bec
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een re-opened,excited much comment
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with an absent love object. We say
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PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
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older children three and four years
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denied admission but he waited outs
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In addition to the story, he said h
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1which used to belong to his parent
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porch leading down to terraced lawn
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Peter, whom he had brought from hom
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for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
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Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
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Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167: April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171: But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175: The same feelings can also be expre
Page 176 and 177: Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 178 and 179: ditions of normal family life. When
Page 180 and 181: up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183: —"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185: When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187: She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189: away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191: parents. All these services were si
Page 194 and 195: The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201: «MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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