Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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ditions of normal family life. When motherand child are forcibly separated, as for instancefor the purpose of evacuation, the mother maysuddenly feel the separation as a fulfillmentof her unconscious desire to get rid of herchild.In that case she will be unable to standthe situation. She will disregard all reasonsagainst it,will use the slightest pretexts to explainher decision to herself and will enforcere-union with the child so as to be re-assuredabout her own love for it.Under unfavorable social and economicconditions and with unwanted illegitimate childrenthe emotional situation of the mother iscompletely reversed. Her entire consciousmind is filled with the desire not to have thebaby before it is born or to get rid of thechild after its appearance. Instinctive motherlyfeelings towards the child cannot fail to bepresent as well, but they are felt as a threatto the mother's own existence and thereforebanned from consciousness. Here the consciouswish of the mother and the necessities of evacuationcoincide.Mothers of thiskind present no difficulty inthe beginning of evacuation. Their attitudeonly becomes a danger when they fail to visit.completely lose touch with the nursery or billetwhere their children have been placed and willcertainly be untraceable when their children174
are supposed to return home at the end of thewar.But also with mothers of this type the unconsciousattitude, in their case the positiveone, has to be reckoned with and can bebrought into play by change of circumstances.When the mother's hostility has been expressedin the initial separation from the child, whenfurther, the economic threat which the childmeans to her has been removed through theoutside help represented by the billet ornursery, the motherly feelings can in their turnrise to consciousness. Since under the new conditionsthey meet no condemnation from theconscious personality of the mother, it is sometimespossible against all expectations to establishgood relations between these mothers andtheir children just under the conditions ofnursery life.August—December 1942CHILDREN'S REACTIONS TO WARThere were only two daylight alarms andone night alarm in London during the lastmonth. Neither the day nor the night routinewere much disturbed by them. In obedience tothe warnings issued by the government we keep175
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•?mm
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
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not develop on quite the same lines
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the present. New ties are form Ther
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fine or even make a mental picture
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urn Road after their houses had bee
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i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
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their pets, which they probably wou
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finite way of demonstrating the sce
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and narcissistic at the beginning o
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caused by neglect; it can, on the o
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tion of aggression due to the examp
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ig or small that loss may be, the f
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The second case, Sylvia, three and
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the destruction which goes on aroun
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with the mother which contains all
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esidential homes these should be si
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The previous part of the book isbas
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AllayingFearEven children whose mot
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their children. They appreciate eve
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street next to the one in which she
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This same state of affairs continue
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went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
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Blitz in September and October 1940
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ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
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more than a year her junior.Her lat
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whether this was the way in which s
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ditions was too short to make up fo
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or abnormal outcome seems to be the
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somehow included in it and soon bec
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een re-opened,excited much comment
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with an absent love object. We say
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PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167: April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171: But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175: The same feelings can also be expre
Page 176 and 177: Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 180 and 181: up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183: —"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185: When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187: She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189: away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191: parents. All these services were si
Page 192 and 193: I have seen other nursery schools d
Page 194 and 195: The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201: «MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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