Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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The same feelings can also be expressed in acompletely different manner. We have a FreeFrench baby, who entered the nursery at theage of ten weeks. Her parents visit regularlyonce a week and nearly always together. Theyleanover the child's cot, handle her delicatelyand adoringly, somehow afraid to touch herexcept in the most gentle manner. Now, thatthe baby is ten months old, her mother has acertain way of sitting on a chair with the babyon her lap facing the father who often feedsher in that position. Also this worshipping attitudeof the parents surely makes some lastingimpression on the child.Anyway this possessive handling as well asthe adoring one certainly goes far in outweighingthe comparatively unemotional, even andgentle treatment which the children receivefrom the nurses who take care of them.Ambivalence towards BabiesAll baby-mothers mentioned so far are verymotherly types,possessive, affectionate, sure ofthemselves and in no way torn by conflictingemotions in regard to their babies. But thereare other mothers who, in contrast to them showthe well known signs of double feelings towardstheir children.A good example of this type is Sandy's motherwho brought the baby to us when she was170
twelve days old. At first she visited regularlyevery week, then she began to come less often.When the child was four months she did not appearfor several weeks and when she cameagain she failed to recognise her baby. Sandrahad lost a lot of her black hair in the meantime.She would only believe that the child wasreally hers after inspecting all the other childrenin their cots. After this visit she again stayedaway for several weeks. When she visited nextshe went straight to the cot, probably in order toprove to herself and to us that she knew herbaby. She picked Sandra up, hugged and kissedher but Sandra did not like it and shrieked withterror. It took hours to quiet her again. Whilethe nurse was holding her and trying to calmher, the mother paced up and down the roomlooking tense and worried. Every time she approached,the baby started shrieking again. Itwas quite evident to us that the child reacted tothe mother's violent emotion. The next timethe mother came,after barely a week, she approachedSandra's cot very quietly; she did nottry to kiss her or to pick her up but played withher as she lay there and Sandra seemed quitecontented.The mother's feelings on those visitsare notdifficult to discern. Sandra is an unwanted andillegitimate baby, the mother's interest in her isuncertain and unreliable in the highest degree.171
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
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not develop on quite the same lines
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the present. New ties are form Ther
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fine or even make a mental picture
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urn Road after their houses had bee
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i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
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their pets, which they probably wou
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finite way of demonstrating the sce
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and narcissistic at the beginning o
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caused by neglect; it can, on the o
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tion of aggression due to the examp
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ig or small that loss may be, the f
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The second case, Sylvia, three and
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the destruction which goes on aroun
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with the mother which contains all
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esidential homes these should be si
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The previous part of the book isbas
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AllayingFearEven children whose mot
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their children. They appreciate eve
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street next to the one in which she
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This same state of affairs continue
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went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
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Blitz in September and October 1940
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ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
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more than a year her junior.Her lat
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whether this was the way in which s
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ditions was too short to make up fo
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or abnormal outcome seems to be the
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somehow included in it and soon bec
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een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127: PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167: April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171: But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 176 and 177: Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 178 and 179: ditions of normal family life. When
Page 180 and 181: up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183: —"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185: When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187: She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189: away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191: parents. All these services were si
Page 192 and 193: I have seen other nursery schools d
Page 194 and 195: The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201: «MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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