Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

Recommendations

Info

But even with the best intentions these conditionscannot be always kept up. We wentthrough a difficult time when the country housewas in quarantine for scarlet fever and had tobe closed to visitors for three months. Motherswho, under ordinary visiting conditions, feltvery placid about their children's stay with us,would suddenly call up by telephone in anexcited manner, complain that they had not receivedan answer to some imaginary letter oftheirs which had never reached us, that they"worried day and night" about their child, thatthey "did not even hear whether the child wasalive or dead", etc.Several mothers took theirchildren home on visits after the lifting of thequarantine to make up for lost contact. Butthese visits did not prove too satisfactory. Somemothers complained that the children did notseem the same to them, one of our stoutest girlswas considered too thin by the mother.Little Sandra, three years old, refused to lookat her father whenever he tried to approachher, whereupon he telephoned us in an excitedmanner and declared: "I do not like the goingsonin that country house".But fortunately Sandra cried at the parents'next visit when the moment of parting arrived.That, completely helped the situation andrestored her father's confidence in us.A great many of these reactions of166the par-
ents is fully conscious. The mothers speciallyare well aware of their double feelings. Theywould like to have their children stay with usin safety and under favourable conditions andyet they would also like to have them homeagain. They are also aware that it is the changedbehaviour of the child which upsets themand strengthens the wish to have it returnhome. What they do not realise, however, isthat the criticisms on which they pretend tobase their decisions are unreal or displaced,and that the child's reactions are often increasedby the conflict in the mother's mind.In the long run even these irrational factorsin the parents are open to influence. The pridein the development of the child, its concretegains in health and knowledge, the loss of badhabits are very real factors in deciding the outcomeof the conflict.Undisturbed Positive Reactionsof Mothers to their Babies,even after SeparationIn Netherhall Gardens, there isgood opportunitytoobserve the various attitudes of visitingmothers to their small babies. Here themothers know when they leave their babies thateven with frequent visits they cannot expectrecognition from them before they are a fewmonths old. Some mothers visit daily, some167
Page 1 and 2:
•?mm
Page 7:
WAR AND CHILDREN
Page 10 and 11:
COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
Page 13:
The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
Page 16 and 17:
of children has, therefore, little
Page 18 and 19:
The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
Page 20 and 21:
the significance of air raids. They
Page 22 and 23:
The understanding of catastrophes,
Page 24 and 25:
confused in her mind with the more
Page 26 and 27:
gether in a play-pen will bite each
Page 28 and 29:
fact that the destruction raging in
Page 30 and 31:
them as far as they can understand
Page 32 and 33:
fear in this manner and return, app
Page 34 and 35:
they knew about its wickedness. It
Page 36 and 37:
from danger and put them in surroun
Page 38 and 39:
her mother's lack of fearnot develo
Page 40 and 41:
dren. We have four examples, where
Page 42 and 43:
urged to adapt themselves to a high
Page 44 and 45:
oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
Page 46 and 47:
misfits.They have in their position
Page 48 and 49:
certainly more than the average ine
Page 50 and 51:
Development of the Mother-Relations
Page 52 and 53:
mother also at times when there is
Page 54 and 55:
other people in the world besides i
Page 56 and 57:
pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
Page 58 and 59:
ooms, the position of the beds and
Page 60 and 61:
Both sexes in this manner have thei
Page 62 and 63:
only one main punishment for anybod
Page 64 and 65:
not develop on quite the same lines
Page 66 and 67:
the present. New ties are form Ther
Page 68 and 69:
fine or even make a mental picture
Page 70 and 71:
urn Road after their houses had bee
Page 72 and 73:
i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
Page 74 and 75:
their pets, which they probably wou
Page 76 and 77:
finite way of demonstrating the sce
Page 78 and 79:
and narcissistic at the beginning o
Page 80 and 81:
caused by neglect; it can, on the o
Page 82 and 83:
tion of aggression due to the examp
Page 84 and 85:
ig or small that loss may be, the f
Page 86 and 87:
The second case, Sylvia, three and
Page 88 and 89:
the destruction which goes on aroun
Page 90 and 91:
with the mother which contains all
Page 92 and 93:
esidential homes these should be si
Page 95:
The previous part of the book isbas
Page 98 and 99:
AllayingFearEven children whose mot
Page 100 and 101:
their children. They appreciate eve
Page 102 and 103:
street next to the one in which she
Page 104 and 105:
This same state of affairs continue
Page 106 and 107:
went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
Page 108 and 109:
Blitz in September and October 1940
Page 110 and 111:
ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
Page 112 and 113:
more than a year her junior.Her lat
Page 114 and 115:
whether this was the way in which s
Page 116 and 117:
ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119:
or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121: somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123: een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127: PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167: April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175: The same feelings can also be expre
Page 176 and 177: Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 178 and 179: ditions of normal family life. When
Page 180 and 181: up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183: —"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185: When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187: She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189: away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191: parents. All these services were si
Page 192 and 193: I have seen other nursery schools d
Page 194 and 195: The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201: «MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
show all

Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

You also want an ePaper? Increase the reach of your titles

Delete template?

Save as template?