Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

y the doubt and worry whether she has donethe right thing for the child. It would gratifyher in one way to find that the child is worseoff away from her than with her and thereforeshe will be very ready to find fault and willexamine the child for signs of neglect and illtreatmentand will observe the nurses or fostermother with critical eyes. On the other handshe, of course, wants to find her child well andcontent. A sensitive child, besides having itsown emotional reactions will feel this tensenessand conflict in the mother. It will be aware ofher critical attitude and feel torn between itsallegiance to her and the incipient liking forhis new surroundings.These emotions which exist as undercurrentsduring the whole length of the visitthencreate violent disturbances when the time forleave-taking arrives. This is generally a mostpainful experience for the mother as well asfor the child. The child will cling to themother, scream and show its misery in a noisymanner. The mother would certainly not wanther child to let her leave gladly but she cannotstand these upsetting scenes. She reacts tothem, by trying, on her next visit either tofoolthe child by pretending that she is not leavingwhen she really intends to do so or by sayinggoodbye to the child over and over again. Aftera mother has experienced such scenes repeated-164