Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITUDESOur attempts to start "artificial families" inour nursery, i.e.to assign three or four childrenonly to one young worker as their special"mother" interested some of our readers andled to further discussion of the subject. Thisagain was a welcome opportunity to reviewonce more our observations about the attitudeof the real mother towards the child which isseparated from her and the reactions of thechild to the expressed or unexpressed emotionsof the mother.In trying to trace the numerous failures ofthe billeting system to their sources, a greatdeal of attention has been paid to the attitudeof the foster mothers, and to the difficulties ofthe children which often seemed to make thetask of foster mothers an impossible one. Lesshas been said about the inner attitude of themothers themselves. But it remains a fact thatchildren are taken out of billets and nurseriesand brought back to danger areas even wherebillets and nurseries are satisfactory and whenthe children themselves are perfectly easy tohandle. They are taken home in a great numberof cases because the mother cannot copewith the conflict within her own feelings.162Her
conscious wishes for the safety of the child contrastwith other, only dimly perceived or whollyunconscious feelings, which lie at the basis ofthe mother-child relationship.Ambivalent Attitude of Motherstowards Separation fromtheir young ChildrenWe generally over-estimate the strength ofthe mother's sensible wish to have the child removedfrom danger. Even in the middle of airraids a mother may show a double reaction inthis respect. She wishes to have her child wellout of danger, but at the same time tokeep itnear her, where she can personally care for it,watch over it and can know just where it is atthe moment. She feels no one could protect herchild as she can and therefore feels reassuredby its presence. Reason and emotion definitelywork against each other at these times. Thismay explain some of the continuous "to andfro" of evacuation. While one wish of themother is active in sending the child to thecountry, another,, purely emotional one, is theagent to bring it back again to her side.Expression of the same Ambivalenceon Visiting the ChildWhen the mother visits the child she willcome with her emotions of longing, augmented163
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
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not develop on quite the same lines
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the present. New ties are form Ther
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fine or even make a mental picture
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urn Road after their houses had bee
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i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
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their pets, which they probably wou
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finite way of demonstrating the sce
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and narcissistic at the beginning o
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caused by neglect; it can, on the o
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tion of aggression due to the examp
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ig or small that loss may be, the f
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The second case, Sylvia, three and
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the destruction which goes on aroun
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with the mother which contains all
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esidential homes these should be si
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The previous part of the book isbas
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AllayingFearEven children whose mot
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their children. They appreciate eve
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street next to the one in which she
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This same state of affairs continue
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went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
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Blitz in September and October 1940
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ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
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more than a year her junior.Her lat
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whether this was the way in which s
Page 116 and 117: ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119: or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121: somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123: een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127: PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171: But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175: The same feelings can also be expre
Page 176 and 177: Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 178 and 179: ditions of normal family life. When
Page 180 and 181: up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183: —"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185: When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187: She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189: away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191: parents. All these services were si
Page 192 and 193: I have seen other nursery schools d
Page 194 and 195: The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201: «MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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