Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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Ronny, seven years old, who takes very littlecare of her clothes otherwise,looks at a littleskirt made for her by her mother and says: "Iwon't wear it to school. Only for best."This transference of affection from the parentsto their presents can sometimes go quitebeyond the limits of normal reactions. Bertie,four years old, for instance who has never overcomethe shock of separation from his mother,a bad case of hospitalized Tb. and from hisfather who is a sailor on the ocean, has developeda craze for parcels, since parcels are theone connecting link between him and his absentmother. He does not care about the contents;he just demands that all his old toys be wrappedup as parcels and given to him to open. As soonas he has opened them he wants them wrappedup again. His continual and never satisfied wishto return to his mother cannot express itself inwords. It has disappeared from consciousnessand instead expresses itself in this compulsivewish to open parcels.January—March 1942ARTIFICIAL FAMILIESWe have recently adopted a new arrangementof work with our nursery children inNetherhall Gardens which influences their life156
in a decisive way. Since these children receivefrequent visits from their own mothers, we hadexpected that they would not be searching forreal mother substitutes and could be satisfiedwith more impersonal and diffuse attachmentsto the various nursery workers dealing withtheir group. We had not assigned special childrento special workers nor divided the groupfor other purposes than the practical ones ofplay, graded according to age. All the childrenknew all the workers in their group and werehandled by them indiscriminately for the purposesof bathing, dressing, going for walks etc.There were two factors which decided us tochange this arrangement. The one was that certainchildren suddenly showed strong preferencefor certain workers, followed them about,did not want to be separated from them anddemanded attention of a very personal nature.Since the workers felt that no favoritismshould be shown, this led to all sorts of disappointmentsand denials for the children. Thesecond factor was that certain steps in developmentwere slow in coming; that in spite of allopportunities provided, certain children werereluctant to grow out of their baby habits andothers took too long in overcoming reverses intheir development due to separation from home.We attributed these difficulties to the lack ofastable mother-relationship.157
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
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not develop on quite the same lines
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the present. New ties are form Ther
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fine or even make a mental picture
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urn Road after their houses had bee
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i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
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their pets, which they probably wou
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finite way of demonstrating the sce
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and narcissistic at the beginning o
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caused by neglect; it can, on the o
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tion of aggression due to the examp
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ig or small that loss may be, the f
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The second case, Sylvia, three and
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the destruction which goes on aroun
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with the mother which contains all
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esidential homes these should be si
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The previous part of the book isbas
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AllayingFearEven children whose mot
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their children. They appreciate eve
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street next to the one in which she
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This same state of affairs continue
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went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
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Blitz in September and October 1940
Page 110 and 111: ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
Page 112 and 113: more than a year her junior.Her lat
Page 114 and 115: whether this was the way in which s
Page 116 and 117: ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119: or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121: somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123: een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127: PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167: April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171: But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175: The same feelings can also be expre
Page 176 and 177: Her unconscious wish against the ba
Page 178 and 179: ditions of normal family life. When
Page 180 and 181: up all precautions, which means tha
Page 182 and 183: —"Do you remember the first night
Page 184 and 185: When asked why he worried about thi
Page 186 and 187: She says: "Teacher says there are a
Page 188 and 189: away." Which means at this moment h
Page 190 and 191: parents. All these services were si
Page 192 and 193: I have seen other nursery schools d
Page 194 and 195: The mother relationship of the smal
Page 200 and 201: «MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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