Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941Since Patrick's recovery he had seen hismother almost daily or at least four or fivetimes a week while she worked on night dutyin our shelter. She had to stop her duties becauseof her pregnancy with a new baby andin the eighth month of pregnancy went to thehospital with varicose veins. She was immediatelyevacuated to the country.Patrick, on our insistence, was permitted tosee her once before she went but was, of course,unable to visit her again during the last threeweeks. To our own astonishment he remainednormal this time. Slight signs of anxiousnessand disturbance disappeared after his one visitto the hospital. Since then he has remainedperfectly normal, has not changed his behaviouror his activities in the nursery and has notshown compulsive symptoms of any kind.The only faint traces of his former troubleare an occasional overinsistence in askingwhether his "daddy is sure to come and takehim out on Sunday", and a certain withdrawalof interest when his mother is mentioned byoutsiders. On the other hand, he quite normallyquestions his father about his mother's whereabouts,is perfectly aware of the whole situationand even passes on to us reports about his122
mother's state of health. He can now sensiblymanage the same situation which made him illbefore. This would be easy to understand if inthe meantime he had undergone psychic treatment.Since this has not been the case, thefactor responsible for the change is evidentlythe time factor. As stated before, he was ableto digest in the course of several months thesame experience which had acted on him astraumati c shock when he had been only givena few hours to adapt to the situation.Under the conditions in our house wherechildren see the parents from whom they areseparated fortnightly, weekly and in somecases even two or three times a week, it isinstructive to follow the changes which theparent-child relationship undergoes. The firstthree or four visitsby the mother usually havethe sole effect of reproducing the shock of theoriginal separa tion. The children long for thecoming of the parents, greet them with allsigns of pleasure, cling to them during theirvisit and usually burst into tears at the renewedparting. After this experience has been repeatedseveral times the parting loses its dramaticsignificance and the children seem to feelcertain that the mother who disappears willreappear again.This period of overvaluation of theparents lasted,perhaps three months—with the123a
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•?mm
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
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not develop on quite the same lines
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the present. New ties are form Ther
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fine or even make a mental picture
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urn Road after their houses had bee
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i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
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their pets, which they probably wou
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Page 80 and 81: caused by neglect; it can, on the o
Page 82 and 83: tion of aggression due to the examp
Page 84 and 85: ig or small that loss may be, the f
Page 86 and 87: The second case, Sylvia, three and
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Page 90 and 91: with the mother which contains all
Page 92 and 93: esidential homes these should be si
Page 95: The previous part of the book isbas
Page 98 and 99: AllayingFearEven children whose mot
Page 100 and 101: their children. They appreciate eve
Page 102 and 103: street next to the one in which she
Page 104 and 105: This same state of affairs continue
Page 106 and 107: went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
Page 108 and 109: Blitz in September and October 1940
Page 110 and 111: ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
Page 112 and 113: more than a year her junior.Her lat
Page 114 and 115: whether this was the way in which s
Page 116 and 117: ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119: or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121: somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123: een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
Page 164 and 165: to them, reappeared as often as she
Page 166 and 167: April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
Page 168 and 169: y the doubt and worry whether she h
Page 170 and 171: But even with the best intentions t
Page 172 and 173: weekly and only a few less often. T
Page 174 and 175: The same feelings can also be expre
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Her unconscious wish against the ba
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ditions of normal family life. When
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up all precautions, which means tha
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—"Do you remember the first night
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When asked why he worried about thi
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She says: "Teacher says there are a
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away." Which means at this moment h
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parents. All these services were si
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I have seen other nursery schools d
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The mother relationship of the smal
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«MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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