Freud_Burlingham_1943_War_and_Children_k_text

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whether this was the way in which she hadreacted already to difficulties in her formerlife.The hope that Jill with her outgoing mannerwould soon attach herself exclusively to someadult person in the house was not fulfilled.Her interest seemed to turn first to one of theworkers in the nursery itself but before a realattachment was formed she suddenly developeda great liking for our nurse and clung to herwith unexpected affection. But also this attachmenthad no time to ripen. Jill suddenlyshowed a decided preference for men, turnedto all male visitors, claimed other children'sdaddies loudly as her own and would on eveningsor Sunday afternoon sit for hours on avisitor's or fire watcher's lap, much to themen's embarrassment. Her attitude was littleinfluenced by visits from her mother who cameat times and took her out for walks. Her preferencefor men would indicate that her af-had turned from her mother to her fa-fectionther; but when, during her stay with us, herfather suddenly appeared on army leave, shedid not appear to treat him differently fromother visitors.Something had evidently gone completelywrong in her relations with the grown-upworld.Her outstanding symptom was the continualabandoning of people she was attached110
to at the moment, for the sake of others whowere new to her.Whereas in Patrick's case separation fromthe mother had brought on a compulsive clingingto her memory, in Jill's case the result wasoutwardly the opposite.She lost the stable relationshipto her parents which had so fargoverned her life, was unable to form newattachments and lived continually in search andexpectation accompanied by feelings of deep-discontent. We know this symptom of flightfrom one object to the other in adult neuroticsas one of the results of early disturbances oftheir mother relationship.Though Jill's symptoms quieted down andwere less apparent after a few weeks, especiallyafter a prolonged stay in the sickroom whereshe was surrounded by a quiet home-like atmosphere,she never regained her high spiritsand bright appearance which had been heroutstanding characteristics when she came.Jill's mother found her billet in the countryand took her off according to arrangement aftershe had been with us for eight weeks. In hercase the physical advantages of being savedfrom shelter life were outweighed by the shockthe separation from her mother meant for her.She was given no time for psychic preparation.On the one hand separation was too complete,on the other hand her stay under the new con-111"
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•?mm
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WAR AND CHILDREN
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COPYRIGHT 194Jy»- ruALL RIGHTS RES
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The Foster Parents' Plan for War Ch
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of children has, therefore, little
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The Nurseries, further, give lodgin
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the significance of air raids. They
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The understanding of catastrophes,
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confused in her mind with the more
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gether in a play-pen will bite each
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fact that the destruction raging in
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them as far as they can understand
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fear in this manner and return, app
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they knew about its wickedness. It
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from danger and put them in surroun
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her mother's lack of fearnot develo
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dren. We have four examples, where
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urged to adapt themselves to a high
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oth qualities in the eyes of its ow
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misfits.They have in their position
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certainly more than the average ine
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Development of the Mother-Relations
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mother also at times when there is
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other people in the world besides i
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pleasure and avoid pain and discomf
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ooms, the position of the beds and
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Both sexes in this manner have thei
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only one main punishment for anybod
Page 64 and 65: not develop on quite the same lines
Page 66 and 67: the present. New ties are form Ther
Page 68 and 69: fine or even make a mental picture
Page 70 and 71: urn Road after their houses had bee
Page 72 and 73: i./?being used as bombs. Playing tr
Page 74 and 75: their pets, which they probably wou
Page 76 and 77: finite way of demonstrating the sce
Page 78 and 79: and narcissistic at the beginning o
Page 80 and 81: caused by neglect; it can, on the o
Page 82 and 83: tion of aggression due to the examp
Page 84 and 85: ig or small that loss may be, the f
Page 86 and 87: The second case, Sylvia, three and
Page 88 and 89: the destruction which goes on aroun
Page 90 and 91: with the mother which contains all
Page 92 and 93: esidential homes these should be si
Page 95: The previous part of the book isbas
Page 98 and 99: AllayingFearEven children whose mot
Page 100 and 101: their children. They appreciate eve
Page 102 and 103: street next to the one in which she
Page 104 and 105: This same state of affairs continue
Page 106 and 107: went upstairs or downstairs,Patrick
Page 108 and 109: Blitz in September and October 1940
Page 110 and 111: ing underneath, tried to drop a hea
Page 112 and 113: more than a year her junior.Her lat
Page 116 and 117: ditions was too short to make up fo
Page 118 and 119: or abnormal outcome seems to be the
Page 120 and 121: somehow included in it and soon bec
Page 122 and 123: een re-opened,excited much comment
Page 124 and 125: with an absent love object. We say
Page 126 and 127: PARENTS AND CHILDRENJune-July 1941S
Page 128 and 129: older children three and four years
Page 130 and 131: denied admission but he waited outs
Page 132 and 133: In addition to the story, he said h
Page 134 and 135: 1which used to belong to his parent
Page 136 and 137: porch leading down to terraced lawn
Page 138 and 139: Peter, whom he had brought from hom
Page 140 and 141: for them was no shock of any kind.
Page 142 and 143: and a half years of his life and th
Page 144 and 145: the children have not been informed
Page 146 and 147: some patient and careful work tomot
Page 148 and 149: withheld from the child and that th
Page 150 and 151: months thi9 was the period I was in
Page 152 and 153: of our own. This training scheme is
Page 154 and 155: COOKINGSEWINGTwo courses of two-hou
Page 156 and 157: tensive Christmas leave. Brenda, se
Page 158 and 159: mother's relationship remains more
Page 160 and 161: Ronny, seven years old, who takes v
Page 162 and 163: The step taken was the subdivision
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to them, reappeared as often as she
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April—July 1942CONFLICTING ATTITU
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y the doubt and worry whether she h
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But even with the best intentions t
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weekly and only a few less often. T
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The same feelings can also be expre
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Her unconscious wish against the ba
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ditions of normal family life. When
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up all precautions, which means tha
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—"Do you remember the first night
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When asked why he worried about thi
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She says: "Teacher says there are a
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away." Which means at this moment h
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parents. All these services were si
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I have seen other nursery schools d
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The mother relationship of the smal
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«MW fee Aarje, keek ms! be krwefc!
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