The Basics of Biblical Counseling - Biblicalcounselingonline.org
The Basics of Biblical Counseling - Biblicalcounselingonline.org The Basics of Biblical Counseling - Biblicalcounselingonline.org
I. Seek help from the church. 1. You can join a church, even if your husband won t. Heb. 13:17 10:25 Acts 5:29 2. Seek counsel from a godly older woman. Titus 2:3-5 3. You may appeal to the Elders, even if your husband doesn t want you to. Mt. 18:15f I Pe. 3:7 V. Counseling in specific situations. A. How can you help a woman with a passive or neglectful husband? 1. You need to understand the challenges she faces. 2. Don t let her give in to bitterness. Heb. 12:15-17 I Co. 13:5 Eph. 4:31-32 I Pe 3:9 Js. 1:19-20 3. Teach her how to help a husband who is passive. I Pe. 3:1f 4. Teach her to appeal to him lovingly, specifically, and biblically. 5. If necessary, help her to go to church leaders. Mt. 18:16 6. Teach her to look to God to overcome loneliness. Ps. 42:1f Isa. 55:1-2 Mt. 26:37f II Tim. 4:14 B. How can you help a woman who has a non-Christian husband? 1. Understand how hard herlife is. 2. Did she sinfully marry an unbeliever? 3. Teach her to deal wisely with conflicting standards. 4. Encourage her to strive to make the marriage work. I Co. 7:12-17 5. She must realize only God can change her husband. John 6:44 I Co. 7:16 C. How can you help a woman with a sinfully domineering husband? 1. Try to understand what her life is like. Rom. 12:15 2. Help herto overcome sinful fear. II Tim. 1:7 Pr. 29:25 3:5-6 Jer. 17:5-8 3. Help herto overcome his evil with God s good. Rom. 12:21 I Pe. 3:1f Pr. 15:1 4. Help her to confront the husband biblically. Mt. 18:15f Gal. 6:1 5. Be prepared to step in to protect the woman. Rom. 13:1 Pr. 27:12 VI. Some tough questions. A. When can/should a woman go to the church leaders? B. What if the husband and wife can t agree on where to go to church? C. What if the husband asks the wife to sign financial documents with which she disagrees? D. What should the wife do about the spiritual training of the children? E. When is divorce an option? I Cor. 7:15 Mt. 19:9 VII. Conclusion. A. The amazing example of Abigail. I Sam. 25 B. Recommended resources 1. Women Helping Women, edited by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Carol Cornish 2. The Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace 3. Helperby Design, by Elyse Fitzpatrick 4. The Complete Husband, by Lou Priolo 114
Solving Marriage Problems: Using Financial Wisdom from Proverbs I. Introduction and Review. A. The theology of wealth. 1. God is the ownerand source of all wealth. Pr. 8:21 10:22 Dt. 8:18 Ps. 50:10 2. God blesses the wise with wealth. Pr. 14:24 15:6 10:22 I Ti. 6:17 3. Are the wise (godly) always wealthy? Pr. 10:4 B. Money is important. Luke 16:11 I Ti. 5:8 Prov. 3:5-6 II. Maintain a balanced perspective on money. 30:8-9 A. Money can be good. I Ti. 6:10,17 4:4-5 Pr. 14:20 19:4,6 10:15 30:9 19:2 22:7 Ecc. 5:18 B. Money is dangerous. Pr. 16:16,8,19 19:1,22 10:2 22:1 28:6 15:16-17 23:4-5 22:2 28:6,11 11:4,28 30:8-9 Isa. 55:1-3 Rev. 3:17-18 Ecc. 4:8 6:2 Js. 1:9-11 Luke 16:19f 12:16f I Ti. 6:9-10 Mt. 13:22 Col. 3:5 C. Learn the secret of contentment. Pr. 10:3 13:25 25:16 Heb. 13:5-6 Phil. 4:11-12 I Ti. 6:6-8,17 Luke 3:14 Gen. 28:20 Mt. 6:11 Ps. 37:25 34:9-10 Mt. 6:11,33 Phil. 4:19 I Tim. 6:8 Yourmoney problems are spiritual more than financial. Isa. 55:1-3 D. How can unbiblicalbeliefs about money affect a marriage? III. Acquiring money. A. Work hard and smart to make a living. Pr. 10:4-5 6:6-11 27:23-24 1. Wisdom s formula for success: Skillxeffort = wealth. 10:4b 12:24 22:29 21:5 2. Sluggards suffer poverty and shame. 6:6-11 10:4a 24:30-32 26:14-15 22:13 20:4 15:19 13:4 16:26 3. Don t expect easy money . 12:11 28:19 21:5 4. You may not be able to pursue your dream career. 28:19 14:23 B. Do not compromise your integrity to gain wealth. Pr. 10:2 13:11,23 15:6 16:8 20:21 28:20,22 20:10,23 21:6 11:1 16:11 22:16 20:14 11:24-26 James 5:1-6 Amos 8:4 1. God willdestroy sinfully gained wealth. Pr. 13:11 20:17 22:16 15:27 28:8 2. Gambling is foolish. Pr. 12:11 28:19 21:5 30:9 13:11 20:21 C. Marriage problems. 1. What if the husband is a poor provider (or even a sluggard)? I Ti. 5:8 II Th. 3:10 2. Should the wife work outside the home? Titus 2:5 Eph. 5:29 Gen. 3:18-19 3. What if the wife is a sluggard at home? 4. What if one spouse has a gambling habit? IV. Spending money. A. Honorthe Lord from your wealth. Pr. 3:9-10 19:17 28:27 14:21,31 21:13 22:9 11:25 Ex. 23:6,11 I Co. 16:2 Mt. 12:44 6:1-4 Heb. 13:16 Phil. 4:18 II Co. 9:7,10 8:8 115
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I. Seek help from the church.<br />
1. You can join a church, even if your husband won t. Heb. 13:17 10:25 Acts 5:29<br />
2. Seek counsel from a godly older woman. Titus 2:3-5<br />
3. You may appeal to the Elders, even if your husband doesn t want you to.<br />
Mt. 18:15f I Pe. 3:7<br />
V. <strong>Counseling</strong> in specific situations.<br />
A. How can you help a woman with a passive or neglectful husband?<br />
1. You need to understand the challenges she faces.<br />
2. Don t let her give in to bitterness. Heb. 12:15-17 I Co. 13:5 Eph. 4:31-32<br />
I Pe 3:9 Js. 1:19-20<br />
3. Teach her how to help a husband who is passive. I Pe. 3:1f<br />
4. Teach her to appeal to him lovingly, specifically, and biblically.<br />
5. If necessary, help her to go to church leaders. Mt. 18:16<br />
6. Teach her to look to God to overcome loneliness. Ps. 42:1f Isa. 55:1-2<br />
Mt. 26:37f II Tim. 4:14<br />
B. How can you help a woman who has a non-Christian husband?<br />
1. Understand how hard herlife is.<br />
2. Did she sinfully marry an unbeliever?<br />
3. Teach her to deal wisely with conflicting standards.<br />
4. Encourage her to strive to make the marriage work. I Co. 7:12-17<br />
5. She must realize only God can change her husband. John 6:44 I Co. 7:16<br />
C. How can you help a woman with a sinfully domineering husband?<br />
1. Try to understand what her life is like. Rom. 12:15<br />
2. Help herto overcome sinful fear. II Tim. 1:7 Pr. 29:25 3:5-6 Jer. 17:5-8<br />
3. Help herto overcome his evil with God s good. Rom. 12:21 I Pe. 3:1f Pr. 15:1<br />
4. Help her to confront the husband biblically. Mt. 18:15f Gal. 6:1<br />
5. Be prepared to step in to protect the woman. Rom. 13:1 Pr. 27:12<br />
VI. Some tough questions.<br />
A. When can/should a woman go to the church leaders?<br />
B. What if the husband and wife can t agree on where to go to church?<br />
C. What if the husband asks the wife to sign financial documents with which she disagrees?<br />
D. What should the wife do about the spiritual training <strong>of</strong> the children?<br />
E. When is divorce an option? I Cor. 7:15 Mt. 19:9<br />
VII. Conclusion.<br />
A. <strong>The</strong> amazing example <strong>of</strong> Abigail. I Sam. 25<br />
B. Recommended resources<br />
1. Women Helping Women, edited by Elyse Fitzpatrick and Carol Cornish<br />
2. <strong>The</strong> Excellent Wife, by Martha Peace<br />
3. Helperby Design, by Elyse Fitzpatrick<br />
4. <strong>The</strong> Complete Husband, by Lou Priolo<br />
114
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