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IV. Submission is God s toolby which you can change your husband. I Pet. 3:1-6 A. Many women suffer under the authority of sinful husbands. 1. What if your husband is an unbeliever? ICo. 7:13 2. What if your husband is selfish and unkind? 3. What if your husband won t lead in a Christlike way? B. What does Peter mean by saying you should win your husband without a word ? 1. He does not mean women can never speak to their husbands. In a good marriage a husband welcomes his wife s counsel. Pr. 31:11-12,23,26 2. When a husband makes it clear he doesn t want to hear his wife s admonition, she should not nag and criticize him. 3. Instead, win him by the attractiveness of your godly life. I Pet. 3:2-4 C. How can a wife do this? 1. Such quiet submission is the opposite of what the flesh tells you to do. 2. It takesfaith to do what the Scripture says. 3. The key phrase in the same way (as Christ). I Pet. 3:1a 2:21-25 4. Entrust yourself to God. I Pet. 2:23 3:6b Jer. 17:5-8 5. The same principles can be applied to winning others in authority over us. D. Submission is not absolute. 1. No husband has a right to tell his wife to sin or to go against her conscience. Acts 5:29,1-11 Rom. 14:23 Heb. 10:25 2. Submission is voluntary. Men are never told to subjugate their wives. 3. Wives are not obligated to endure physical abuse, abandonment, or marital unfaithfulness. ICo. 7:15 Matt. 19:9 4. Wives do not give up their freedom to confront their husbands sins using the process in Matthew 18:15f. V. Concluding applications. A. Wives: Don t let the serpent rob you of the blessings God has for you. B. Single men: Choose a wife whom you can trust to do you good. Pr. 31:10-12,30 C. Single women: Prepare yourself for marriage by cultivating the qualities of a godly wife. Don t even think about marrying a man whose leadership you cannot follow for the rest of your life. D. Husbands: Show respect to your wife. I Pet. 3:7 Be the kind of Christlike lover who is easy to follow. Eph. 5:24bf Encourage your wife. Pr. 31:28-31 19:14 E. Children: Honor your mother! Pr. 23:25 31:28b Discussion questions 1. How would you answer the objection that the biblical teaching on submission reflects the chauvinism of an ancient culture? 2. What are some common misunderstandings people have about biblical submission? 3. What does it mean for a wife to submit to her husband? 4. What are some specific ways a wife can be a helper to her husband? 5. Does the Bible teach women should work primarily in the home? 6. What should a woman do if she is married to an unbeliever? 7. How can agodly woman hope to change her husband? 8. Under what circumstances must a wife refuse to obey her husband? 9. What should a woman who is being abused do? 10. What does this message have to say to single men? Single women? Husbands? Children? 108
How to Change Your Wife. Eph. 5:25-30 I Pet. 3:7 I. Introduction and review: The buck stops here. II. Husbands love your wives as Christ loves the church. Eph. 5:25-27 A. Love her unconditionally. v. 25a I Co. 13:4-7 1. The world has cheapened the meaning of love. 2. Your love is not dependent upon the worthiness of the beloved. 3. Christ loved you when you were not worthy to be loved. Eph. 2:1-3 Ro. 5:8,10 I John 4:10 4. Seek the good of your wife, whether she deserves it or not. 5. Christlike love (agape) is not merely a feeling or a passion. It is a commitment. 6. You are to be the initiator in love. I John 4:19 7. Christlike love comes from the heart. B. Love her sacrificially. Eph. 5:25b 1. Christ s love is demonstrated on the Cross. Eph. 5:2 Ga. 2:20 2. Christ slove for the church is particular. John 10:11 3. Give up yourlife for your bride. a. Paul is not merely saying you must be willing to give up your life. b. Sacrifice your rights and interests for her good. Phil. 2:3f I Co. 7:33 4. Authority has been given to serve. John 13:3f Mark10:45 Mt. 20:20-28 C. Love her with apurifying love. v. 26-27 1. Christ ourBridegroom is committed to making you holy. Eph. 1:4 Titus 2:14 John 17:19 Phil. 1:6 Col. 1:22 Rev. 19:7 2. Your love for your wife should make her more beautiful spiritually. II Co. 11:2 3. Do you have the courage to make biblical decisions which go against her preferences? Gen. 3:6 16:2 III. Husbands, love your wives as your own bodies. v. 28-30 A. Love your wife as you love yourself. v. 28 1. You love her because you are united. 2. She is not just like a part of yourself. She is part of you. Gen. 2:23 . a. Paul assumes every man loves himself unconditionally. b. It is unnatural to abuse your own body. v. 29 B. Nourish your wife. v. 29b 1. Christ has provided richly for you! II Pe. 2:3-4 Eph. 1:7,9 2:5-6 3:6,12 4:11 2. Provide for her materially. Gen. 3:17ff I Tim. 5:8 Titus 2:3f 3. Meet her emotional needs. I Pet. 3:7 Js. 1:19a 4. Meet her spiritual needs. 5. Meet her sexual needs. I Co. 7:3-5 I Tim. 2:15 5:14 Ex. 21:10 Pr. 5:15-19 C. Cherish your wife. v. 29c 1. Understand her. I Pet. 3:7 2. Be patient and gentle with her. Col. 3:19 3. Treat herwith respect. Pr. 31:11 4. Express appreciation and affection to her. Pr. 31:28b 109
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The Basics of Biblical Counseling R
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Marriage: Biblical Foundations: Mar
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Psychology and Christian Counseling
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B. Integration: psychologists who h
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GeneralPrinciples of BiblicalCounse
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6. Wherepossible, hear fromallparti
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E. Intention. Luke 9:23-24 14:25-34
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2. You are not seeking merely a sol
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How Do People Change? I. Introducti
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IV. What determines when and whethe
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The Medicine-Only Approach to Couns
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Psychotropic Drugs and Biblical Cou
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Psychotropic Drugs and Biblical Cou
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Cognitive-Perceptual Disorders and
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Part II: Common Counseling Issues
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IV. Promote peace by confronting si
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D. Trust God, recognizing His sover
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G. What should you do if he repents
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7. What is the status of someone wh
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E. Questions: 1. What is the status
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III. Confessyour sins and God will
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II. Exposition of key texts. A. Mat
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III. Repent of your murderous anger
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Counseling in Cases of Abuse I. Int
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Dealing with Abusers and Their Vict
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parent sright to do so. However, if
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The arbiters will be the elders of
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RELIGIOUS BACKGROUND: Denominationa
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