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How do I delight<br />
in children that only<br />
cause me pain<br />
and grief?<br />
The<br />
22 www.nogreaterjoy.org | 1-866-292-9936<br />
Best<br />
Medicine<br />
By Michael Pearl<br />
The best child training medicine I know<br />
is a heart that overflows with a consuming<br />
desire to give children pleasure. Our training<br />
can’t stop <strong>the</strong>re, but nei<strong>the</strong>r can it begin<br />
anywhere else. It must be part of <strong>the</strong> image of<br />
God within us―that desire to bring pleasure to<br />
children, to make <strong>the</strong>ir lives fascinating and full of<br />
joy. They are so easy to delight. I feel like a grandfa<strong>the</strong>r<br />
to all children everywhere . . .well, except maybe some of<br />
<strong>the</strong> brats I see in grocery stores. But if I had <strong>the</strong>m for three<br />
days, <strong>the</strong>y would cease to be brats. It would probably take<br />
me two days to begin to like <strong>the</strong>m, but I can endure anything<br />
when I know <strong>the</strong>re is relief around <strong>the</strong> corner.<br />
You can smile children into peace and grace. Here is <strong>the</strong> key—<strong>the</strong> way it actually<br />
works. When you become a source of pleasure to a child and <strong>the</strong>y feel that <strong>the</strong>y are<br />
your source of pleasure as well, <strong>the</strong>y become dependent upon that relationship for<br />
<strong>the</strong>ir continued pleasure. They don’t want to do anything to break fellowship with you.<br />
They will seek to be all you want <strong>the</strong>m to be. You have <strong>the</strong>ir heart; you have <strong>the</strong>ir will.<br />
They are way too smart to fall for a fake. If <strong>the</strong>y do not know that you are delighted<br />
with <strong>the</strong>m, <strong>the</strong>y will keep you at arms’ length and may even try to antagonize<br />
you. If children ever sense that you don’t like <strong>the</strong>m, <strong>the</strong>y will develop an adversarial<br />
posture toward you. <strong>No</strong> amount of spanking or rebuke will win <strong>the</strong>ir hearts. You might<br />
spank <strong>the</strong>m into obeying any given command, but <strong>the</strong>y will never seek to please you<br />
from <strong>the</strong> heart.<br />
On <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>r hand, kids who know <strong>the</strong>y are treasured will give you <strong>the</strong>ir all to be<br />
worthy of your high opinion of <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
<strong>No</strong>w, some of you are saying, “I agree with you fully, but how do I delight in<br />
children that only cause me pain and grief?” You may have spun your tires in <strong>the</strong> same<br />
hole until you buried your whole family it. You need to taste a little of <strong>the</strong> joyous possibilities.<br />
You need a small victory to give you hope. Single out just one of your kids,<br />
and begin bestowing special attention on him. Leave <strong>the</strong> o<strong>the</strong>rs with grandma and take<br />
<strong>the</strong> one child with you for a day out. The both of you need to get out of <strong>the</strong> rut and<br />
meet on friendly ground. Go to <strong>the</strong> zoo, a playground, out to eat his favorite junk food,<br />
wherever, just as long as he is having fun and sees you enjoying him having fun. Smile<br />
into his soul until you see something that makes you smile without effort. Talk with<br />
him. Let him know that he is special to you. When you have tasted <strong>the</strong> goodness that is<br />
in that one child, you will have hope to endure <strong>the</strong> trials you must go through to bring<br />
<strong>the</strong> whole family into your circle of love and approval.<br />
Go back and read <strong>No</strong> <strong>Greater</strong> <strong>Joy</strong> Volumes One, Two, and Three. Re-read To<br />
Train Up A Child. Watch <strong>the</strong> video The <strong>Joy</strong> of Training. Spend some time worshiping<br />
God and giving thanks. When God has your heart and you know you are loved and forgiven,<br />
you will be able with joy to pass that love and forgiveness on to your children.<br />
You can do this!