Rumbling on performativity_Frits Simon

he painted in 1779). For me modularisation of education stood as a symbol of disintegrating
knowledge in favour of an instrumentalist approach of learning.
Summarized I had questions like: is it possible to manage people who were my colleagues
the day before? What about my authenticity and becoming someone who I
severely criticized before? What about my expertise on philosophy? Will I become an
empty headed person who only cares for organizational questions and will I lose
affinity with the job at hand?
I decided to apply because of a new appointed general manager in whom I had faith.
Besides I was in need of a new fulfilment and was susceptible for the appreciation of
my colleagues. I wanted to try to do it better than my predecessors. One event in my
professional career was paramount for this decision. Once I asked the general manager
of that time to develop together with me career opportunities so one day I would
become an associate professor at our UAS. Within 30 seconds she decided that this
was impossible and left me behind with empty hands. Regarding this event I supposed
that it would be not difficult to be a better manager and it had a lot of influence on my
managerial ambitions. Even if not asked, I would take care that colleagues would get
chances to develop their professional careers.
A symbolic representation of my transition towards a management position was that
on my first day as a manager two of my children (14 and 12 years at that time) presented
me a necktie. At their age and after hearing my deliberations on the dining table
they understood that a necktie was an appropriate symbol for the detached and
representative aspects of my new position. However, also for the slightly oppressed
feeling I had in entering my new position. It is important to note that I entered my management
position in an ambivalent mood and I always kept some ambivalence in
being a manager.
Starting in management
Due to the merger of UAS with another UAS, the pursued reduction of overhead and a
good impression I made, in short time I became head of two departments. After that I
became dean/managing director of the Faculty of Social Work. The good impression I
made was based on me being able of involving many colleagues, being able of sorting
out responsibilities in a transparent way and still keeping pace in the projects. As I
worked in a relatively small faculty populated with colleagues whom I knew well, we
worked as a team in which I was positioned to bring things to a close. In their reactions
I experienced that as long as in the perception of my colleagues I acted honestly
and transparently things went all right. I became aware of the tension that exists
between personal and organizational interests, the impact of misjudgement if you
navigate on the opinions of others, the importance of genuine communication, and
the sandwich position you have as a manager between the board and the employees.
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