Rumbling on performativity_Frits Simon

y connecting concepts of the cognitive sciences with concepts about epistemological
order, micro-power, communication and interaction, by using Elias (1969), Foucault
(1966), Minsky (1986) and Shotter (1993).
3.4 Defaults-genesis part III: becoming and being a
manager
In 1998 I was urged to apply for the position of head of the department of social work.
“Urged” is the right word because I was very ambivalent about becoming a manager.
My hesitations were multiple.
Hesitations and ambivalence
First of all, I almost felt no affiliation with management. I had experienced some of my
managers as hesitating in their decisions, unclear in their argumentation, ambiguous
in their position and not showing inspiring leadership. To their advantage I should
state that they had to manage in situations in which a lot of change was brought
about in the Dutch Higher Education (textbox 1 in 1.1). Becoming a manager would
mean that I would become a member of a largely unappreciated group in my organization.
A second hesitation was that becoming a manager would end my PhD-project. This
project enriched my knowledge. At the same time it lacked focus and was a never
ending story. Applying could be an excuse to stop it. I also found no inspiration in
lecturing anymore, partly caused by myself. I had developed a didactic way of working
in which students were very much engaged but I had made myself more or less redundant
as a lecturer.
A third hesitation was that I had ample experience in managing teams. Although
colleagues stated that they were happy with me as a project manager, I knew that
being critical about management, does not imply that I would be a better manager. In
my free time I had some experience as the President of the Board of a primary school
and a member of the board of a university of life, but more or less managing in a board
the policy of a manager is not the same as managing a team or a department.
A fourth hesitation had to do with the philosophy I lectured about. I was influenced by
neo-Marxist thinkers like Habermas (born 1925) and heavily influenced by reading
Foucault, Sloterdijk and Rorty (1931 – 2007). They write about the power of language
and communication, the power of inequality or difference, and about the pervert
character of our modern society. I asked myself if I should become part of perverting
the education system. I remember having written an unpublished column with in the
headline the question whether the dream of modularisation would bring forth monsters
(paraphrasing the title of a painting of the Spanish painter Francisco Goya, which
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