Rumbling on performativity_Frits Simon

Especially Fiona felt she would be helped with clear definitions. Moreover, the Secretary
of State more or less demanded that the performance agreements were to be
widely discussed with employees and students.
In Fiona’s and my proposal were some ideas about involving quite some managers,
associate professors, and students in the establishment of the agreements. But given
the concerns about clear definitions organization-wide involvement disappeared to be
an issue. Later on the disappearance of this issue was converted by me into an argument
of strength, of no need in involving a lot of people.
In between the 17th and 29th I became overflowed with information: documents
about former preparations, information from other UAS’s and discussions with different
people about what was at stake. I felt confused because of a lack of and lag in
information, an unclear position, an intense cooperation with a colleague I never
worked with before and a deadline on my mind. In my experience Fiona Cornips was
very busy with a lot of other things, so often we had scarcely time for discussion. She
felt very responsible, but had to manage in between of other obligations. Moreover,
more colleagues were to be consulted, because they managed specific dossiers. Given
my confusion and her busyness a dedicated management of the process remained
unclear for some time. I felt a bit of an outsider: not an expert on certain matters and
because working with Fiona Cornips who was already busy with the subject for a long
time. Also to be suddenly confronted with the document of Paul Broersen did not help
me to feel inside. At the same time I was confident that things would turn out all right.
Of course I was not totally unfamiliar with a lot of topics and knew most of the involved
colleagues. Moreover, I knew that I am able to sort things out in a short time
and to involve other colleagues. According to Ella Rietkerk I was the only one who did
not panic. For me it felt like wearing a second-hand garment which fits another body,
but in time it becomes your own.
March: spring coming?
Taking the responsibility of managers of the process Fiona and I started assembling
information about the relevant issues, tried to get developed unambiguous data,
interpretations and definitions of these issues. In different groups we also toyed with
target values to get an idea of what the implications could be. “Imperturbably remaining
ourselves” helped to keep on staying self-confident. It appeared that to deliver
necessary data was quite complicated given our data bases. Moreover, the definitions
of some issues were unclear and our standing policy was not always easy to find out.
Information appeared to be spread out through the organization with often different
people being responsible for keeping up the information. Fiona and the members of
the board were quite annoyed by some of the colleagues, being confronted with the
fact that they were not in control. For me it felt as an inconvenience, a bit of trial and
error with many options. I had not expected otherwise because to my experience in
the different positions I had, there is always a difference between what you think to
5. Drafting performance agreements: gestures of a contemporary jester | 121