Rumbling on performativity_Frits Simon

Self-knowing
At the end “all knowing is self-knowing” (Stacey and Griffin, 2005: 22). In this case my
self-knowing leads to realizing that my nuisance with the results is caused by some
epistemological fallacies. Labelling the outcome as contradictory implicates a covert
desire for truth or consistency. It denies that every interaction changes the nature of
the total context and that people don’t act according to some systematic or basic rules
(Groot, 2010a). The impact of social psychological mechanisms, such as contagion and
cognitive dissonance, even underlines the inevitably dynamics of local interactions.
Not only a covert desire for truth or consistency may have troubled me, but maybe
even a tacit longing for succeeding in managing other people according to my own
rules. Inadvertently - maybe incurable - I was thwarted by what from a complex
responsive process-perspective is called the doubling fallacy: supposing that you can
take an external position towards your situation (Stacey, 2007).
The members of the learning group really challenged me to live through what kind of
job I have. I was challenged to reflect upon my ongoing co-creative efforts and the
apparent acceptance of this way of acting in an organization where clear results are
expected. Someone suggested that I was the organizational joker or fool, the one with
a large degree of freedom to act. The discussions led to at least for myself provocative
reflections on who I am as an adviser, where I stand for and what I am (un)able to do.
These reflections might help me to sort out up till now hardly understood aspects of
my position as an adviser to the board.
4.8 A joker: a versatile or protean sense-maker?
The above reflections uncovered that my co-creativity is a decisive precondition for
doing my work, but as such not solely the effective purpose or outcome of my work.
The effective outcome of my work has other dimensions. An association came to my
mind with the work of Machiavelli, someone whose work I read a long time ago. He
wrote that the wisdom of a leader depends on the people he surrounds himself with.
The leader supposedly makes a wise decision if he chooses people who aren’t egocentric
(Machiavelli, 1513).
Starting to look upon my position from within the organization, or more specific from
within the network of people I am closely working with, I come to see some up till
now cloaked dimensions, at least for me.
An undefined position
Formally my position is the position of a director responsible for the development of a
long term strategy for the UAS. Practically I have a rather undefined position. It is a
personal position, created when in 2008 I got this position and which will vanish when
I get another position. Also the fact that I am allocated in the office of marketing and
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