The Joy of - Inside Chappaqua

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Are you in a holding pattern caused by loneliness? Anyone can experience the painful awareness of not connecting with others–married or single. Strong, competent women rationalize being treated poorly by awful men to avoid loneliness. Others in healthy relationships feel isolated by the lack of true friendships outside that relationship. Loneliness is a state of mind that can be changed by connecting with yourself first. My most profound loneliness was being in a marriage I had outgrown. After being married several years with two young children, I had drifted away from many of the friends I had growing up and in my early 20s. My emotions were in turmoil and I had nobody in whom to confide. Despite our sporadic socializing we reconnected immediately and I began rebuilding other friendships I had neglected over the years. My friends gave me strength to pursue my divorce and that step empowered me to start questioning what I want to do with the rest of my life. If you are not doing things to fulfill all parts of your self–intellectually, physically, and spiritually–you are not truly living. For years, I coasted on auto pilot. I worked, took care of my kids and collapsed exhausted each night. I realized I wanted more and started setting goals. I have the same 24 hours in my day as anyone and I work full time, juggle the busy lives of two teenage girls and my own social life, yet I don’t just come to life on 38 Inside Chappaqua May 2013 S I N G L E A N D S M A R T What Have You Done For You, Lately? With a Private Party Room for Your Celebrations Open 7 Days 6am-11pm Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner & Everything in Between! 468 Bedford Road, Pleasantville, NY 10570 914-747-8191 www.jean-jacques.com By Miriam Longobardi “Friends keep me sane and grounded,” says Miriam. To the left of Miriam (l-r): Buddies Amy Mittelstadt, Jennifer Cahill and Genine Coccoli DiFalco. weekends. I ensure there are things I do for my mind, body and soul each day. What have you done for you lately? Dinners and nights out with my friends are a given, but I belong to the Jacob Burns Film Center and enjoy seeing films alone. Running makes me feel good and that led to running marathons. Travelling the world alone connects me deeply to the moment and myself–quite the opposite of lonely. Between family, work, travelling and socializing, I met a guy. We clicked instantly and became involved. While happily enjoying my life I met someone, exactly how all the magazines said it would happen. My happiness was short-lived, however, when things ended abruptly six months later. Yes, I was sad, but I rechannelled that sadness into a freelance writing career which fulfils me creatively. Changing grade levels after 18 years challenged me professionally. Can I pursue all things, all the time? No. Life is a balancing act. Deciding to learn a new curriculum meant publishing fewer articles, but planning new, creative lessons and teaching older students fulfills me in new ways. Some weeks I’m too busy to run as much as I ‘d like so I read or watch a movie. Actively pursuing things I enjoy gives me more energy than I had as a young mother, and strong friendships transcend any romantic relationship. So how can you reconnect with yourself and your old friends? •Take that first step. Send that message to someone you have been meaning to contact. Suggest after work drinks with colleagues and widen your social network. •Join a social website. Meetup. com has groups for any interest. Some are geared toward singles but I suggest finding groups geared to your own interests or create your own group! • Select an interest or two and devise a plan. If it’s travel, calculate costs and plan your trip. Thinking about learning a language, or taking a cooking or photography class? Check out Chappaqua Continuing Education or other community or city options. •Exercise regularly. Vary your exercise routine to avoid a plateau and remain physically challenged. Don’t belong to a gym? Put on headphones and go for a walk. Endorphins, those “feel-good” hormones released during exercise, are real! Sometimes friends and pursuing goals are not enough and what began as loneliness veers into depression. If you feel overwhelmed, seek help. A professional, outside perspective can help you view life differently. Loneliness is not a permanent state but only you initiate change. Make the time for things that bring you joy and the richness of your life will overflow. Happiness is magnetic, and while you’re busy living your fabulous life you might find that special person, just like all the magazines say it happens. Miriam Longobardi is a freelance writer, fourth grade teacher and single mother of two daughters living in Westchester. wA breast cancer survivor, she also volunteers for the American Cancer Society and has completed four marathons. Also, check out her weekly New York Modern
Rosenthal JCC (914) 741-0333 • www.rosenthaljcc.org Camp Discovery • Twice Daily Swim • Before Care and After Care • Door-to-door transportation • Nature, Pioneering & Technology • Weekly excursions for older campers Camp Bear Ridge • Outrageously fun weekly themes • New program for parents with toddlers • New separated class for children entering a 2s class Fall 2s Classes FULLY STOCKED FOR SPRING & CAMP Squires Family Clothing & Footwear Mens-Boys Girls-Women Vineyard Vines • Northface Quiksilver • Timberland Adidas •Nike •Merrell Jansport • Volcom • Saucony Rainbow • K-Swiss •Teva Birkenstock • Reef • Puma New Balance • Nally & Milly Tommy Bahama Largest UGG AND HUNTER Dealer in the area! Superga’s are fashionable and comfortable. Available for women and kids in multiple colors. Ugg Evera Spyder • Crocs • 66 0 North Minnetonka •Frye Ugg Boots • Keen • Arc’Teryx Prana• Hunter •Under Armour Ugg •XCVI •Jambu Vibram Five Fingers Dansko •Asics • Superga Fit Flop •Havianas • Smartwool Christopher Blue Stretch Jeans for WOMEN! 2 Locations Check out our Website www.squiresny.com Monday-Sunday 193 Katonah Ave, Katonah, NY 914-232-0212 (near Blue Dolphin) Monday-Saturday 41 S. Greeley Ave, Chappaqua, NY 914-238-4511 Le Jardin du Roi French Bistro 95 King Street • Chappaqua, NY 10514 lejardinchappaqua.com Tel: 914-238-1368 • Fax: 914-238-4864 Serving Breakfast-Lunch-Dinner, 7 days/week, Open 8am Put Your Hair in the Best Hands HAIR SALON Expert highlights, color, cut & body waves 142 King Street, Chappaqua 914.238.4788 Tue & Wed 9-5 • Thurs 9-7 • Fri & Sat 9-6 Open Sunday 10:30-3:30 www.santassalon.net Maria Briones M.D.P.C. Internal Medicine & Weight Loss Board Certified in Internal Medicine Diplomate in Bariatric Medicine 344 Main St. Suite #303 Mount Kisco, NY 10549 Telephone: (914) 241-6249 Fax: (914) 241-6253 www.brionesweightloss.com Email: mbriones@brionesweightloss.com Office Hours by Appointment May 2013 Inside Chappaqua 39
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The Joy of - Inside Chappaqua

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