The Joy of - Inside Chappaqua

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B O O K E x C E R P T From: “Peace in Relationships: Attachment-Detachment” “In order to explain the balance of “you-me-us” concepts, we need to be mindful of schemas. Schemas are the emotional and experiential attachments we have to words or objects. For example, “attachment” may stimulate feeling of sticky confinement or it may generate an image of an adoring, cherishing mother-infant bond. Those two schemas are very different. So when a person with one schema talks about attachment with a person with the other schema, misunderstanding and conflict occurs. Therefore, it is important to listen beyond words-to listen to the heart. Both schemas exist and are acceptable, but hearing the intention of the conveyor of a message- listening to the heart-is where understanding is created. Hearing the heart of a person provides a mindfulness of reality. A good therapist listens to the heart beneath the words. People often say one thing but mean another, as if they are leaving clues or simultaneously want to be heard and 1 KING ST, CHAPPAQUA, NY 914.238.8050 Open daily in downtown Chappaqua. 30 Inside Chappaqua May 2013 By Suna Senman not heard. What do people really want? We all want to express truth, love, and beauty so that it is received and reflected back to us. Sometimes people want to express lies, hurt, and ugliness, because that’s what they have seen. They both want and don’t want to see that reflected back. The experience of lies, hurt, and ugliness is unpleasant. And yet, a person wants to be seen. If a person has allowed lies, hurt, and ugliness to penetrate their being, these factors becomes part of their being that they need to express. He or she will continue to express everything that is in them-a mix of lies, hurt, and ugliness along with the truth, love, and beauty of his or her original, natural state. These contradictory qualities coexist until the person cleans house and lets go of the garbage. Because we always express what is inside of us, it is also the mix that will be reflected back. We see what is inside. Therefore, when a person sees jealousy, greed, gluttony, or any of the “sins” in others, the wise person will recognize that there are at least crumbs of those things inside him–or herself. We invite you to come in for meaningful gifts for Mom, Graduation and Teachers. We also offer fun and affordable pleasures for you: jewelry, accessories, and clothing from around the world. facebook.com/AuroraFT Attachment and detachment are key concepts to understand in order to navigate the complicated “mix.” If you can clean house often (even several times a day), you practice healthy attachment and detachment. If you are mindful of the things that approach you through the day and are discerning of their core (love or ugliness), then you can let go of the unwanted ugliness quickly so that you can practice filling yourself with truth, love and beauty. Suna Senman Some people love playing in ugly messes. When I have tried to engage people in expressions of truth, love, and beauty, they are often eager to engage, yet, unwilling to let go of ugliness. Some people get attached to the concept of “ownership.” At one time, a friend felt that she owned me and tried to prevent me from expressing a part of myself that evoked a feeling of dishonesty in her. She had talked herself into believing that her lifestyle was beautiful, but my expression of truth triggered a realization that she contained ugliness. Her reaction was to discredit me and push me away instead of doing some “housecleaning” or making her own necessary changes. She was afraid of change. In her ownership attitude toward me as her friend, she insisted that I don’t speak about some of my ideas. What she tried to own slipped away. I detached from her instead of detaching from a part of a truth of my being.” Suna Senman LMSW, CSW, CTIM, CED is a life transformation facilitator who specializes in wellness counseling, childhood development, peace education, and diversity training. She blogs on topic for The Huffington Post; she has published articles on topic in periodicals such as Metro; and she is the author of Being: A Process. Through her work, Suna helps people expand their sense of self, release their illusion of separation, develop nurturing partnerships, and consciously design a harmonious life path. Her writing has included interviews with supermodel Tyra Banks, celebrity violinist Miri Ben Ari, and relationship expert Paul Brunson.
Reduce your real estate taxes now! Just a few of our recent success stories... Your property taxes are based on the value of your home. So… how can it be that values have fallen but taxes keep going up? Call Granite today for a free, no-risk consultation. We will put our 34 years of industry experience to work for you, preparing a preliminary analysis to determine whether or not you have a case. Don’t wait another year to find out if you can save. Your neighbors below called and accomplished their ultimate goal...lower taxes! Street Reduction Annual Tax Savings Hemlock Hills 24% $11,984 Hemlock Hollow 14% $7,306 Roaring Brook Rd 23% $11,675 Saw Mill River Rd 16% $4,582 Stornowaye St 27% $7,958 Granite Real Estate Tax Consultants, LLC David Ruzow, President 351 Manville Road, Pleasantville, NY 10570 www.granitetaxreduction.com 914-747-8999 Weddings, Remember Showers, your Bar/Bat Mother Mitzvah, on Confirmations, Mother’s 1st Day! Communion, Stop in at Beascakes for your Delicious And all your Special Occasions Brunch Sweets or Elegant Cakes and Tarts Inside Chappaqua The Magazine for New Castle and Beyond Single&smart www.insidechappaqua.com AD PROOF Todayʼs Date The housing market is strong. Please contact me to review home values in our community. TONI DIMICHELO Phone Phone 914.238.2600 Fax Fax 914.238-2611 Licensed Real Estate Salesperson 914.238.0097 Beascakes Bakery 575 Main Street Armonk, NY 10504 914-273-3612 www.beascakes.com Fresh donuts every morning. Come Taste the Difference! Silver Award Recipient 2012 Experience and Personal Attention For a Market Update go to tonidimichelo.com Click on Market Conditions and pick local community Call me at 914.227.5300 CHAPPAQUA BROKERAGE 45 South Greeley Avenue, Chappaqua, NY 10514 HoulihanLawrence.com May 2013 Inside Chappaqua 31
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The Joy of - Inside Chappaqua

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