Cinesprint - May 2015

of my career or my selfworth with
what I actually think about myself.
I have tremendous confidence that
things will bounce back, that I will
bounce back with great successful
films. The same people did not think
that I will last for even two years in
this industry .But I have lasted for
over a decade.These are the same
people who thought that after
five back-to-back hits, I had all the
answers and I was hit man Hashmi
and I was invincible, but they were
wrong even then.So, if they didn’t
know that then, then what the hell
do they know now? You have no
choice but to embrace the sadness
and the pain when you go through
something like this. The trauma
becomes a part of you. The dream
that you have built for yourself
suddenly crumbles and you realise
that it is so fragile. And there is
nothing you can do to stop it, so you
cope with it and fight and as much as
people may think they are your bad
and weakest times, you are fighting
the highest at such times and there
lies the resurrection and it instills in
that dream more vigour and vitality
and something more emerges.
Something else has emerged and
it will reflect in my performances
over the next few months. And I
want to tell my detractors in the
industry , there are four phases in
any celebrity’s life. The first phase
when the world says, `Oh! He
has potential.’ The second phase
is, `Ah! He has arrived.’ The third
phase, `Oh! He’s finished.’ And then
comes the fourth phase, ` Ah! He is
back.’ So, for the myopic morons,
who don’t know anything about
inner strength, wait for a couple of
months. I will be back.
Doesn’t failure make you doubt
yourself? Where do you get your
confidence from?
I do get anxious if I have a flop, but
I don’t lose sleep over it. I detach
from things and that is true for both,
success and failure. I don’t let both
define me. It’s a journey , I may pop
a champagne bottle for success, but
I don’t start feeling cat’s whiskers
or that I am invincible.Somewhere
down the line, I will give you a bad
flop film once in a while. Everyone
does that. Even more so in my
situation, as I see myself as a risktaker.
I have done many films that
are unconventional and out-of-thebox
niche films.Always remember
what Robert De Niro said while
getting his lifetime achievement
award. He said, `I am accepting this,
but this is not the end. A lot more
bad films to be made.’ That’s what
filmmaking is about. As an actor,
you get scripts you like and you
take a swing at everything, some
Who was your emotional
anchor during his
treatment period?
Family and friends were
an immense support, but I
grieve alone. I don’t show
my emotions and cover it
up with external brava do,
but there are times when
you feel frail. After Ayaan’s
incident, I have started
praying at night which I
never used to.
of them turn out as gems, some of
them turn out in the crash can. but
every film is made with the best
intent. Some are successes, but you
cannot be bogged down by that.
What should we expect from a Mr.
X?
If It’s not a superhero film.
Superheroes are kind of altruistic
as in they are selfless, they are
the protectors of humanity and
very righteous in what they do.
This man is not. He is a right cop,
who wants to avenge his own
revenge to get his parallel justice
to get back to the guys who did
it to him. Yes, he is a superhero as
he has superhero powers of being
invincible. Mr .X promises all of that
and a great love story in the middle
of it. Amyra Dastur’s character is
that of an ATS officer and while
his ideologies have changed
overnight, she still upholds the
law and so they are opposite sides
of the spectrum and they become
enemies, but even being a coldblooded
murderer, he feels for her.
What is your biggest lesson
from Ayaan’s incident?
Even in my career, I have fallen and
come back, but Ayaan has taught
me a lot. I have realised that it is
okay to fall. It’s okay to fail. He is
very resilient and is fit now. Three
months after his recovery , he
started going to school and wanted
to participate in sports day in a race.
He was still weak and frail, had lost
his thick crop of hair (which has now
returned) and while we didn’t want
him to run, he is competitive and
was adamant. He participated and
the race started. He ran three steps
and fell and he got up. He again ran
five steps and fell even harder this
time. Again he got up and ran and
he finished the race. I looked at
Parveen and could not help feeling
moved, as I could not control my
tears. He came last and still went
to everyone saying I participated.
For me, it was more than any gold
medal or first prize. He had given
all that he had with all the obstacles
he had faced and that was a big
learning lesson for me.There is
nothing special about me when
this child after such a traumatic
experience, can get up, complete
the race and smile. He actually
winked at me when he finished.It
was too much for me to handle and
I left from there. My wife went and
got him. In life, it’s all about hanging
in there. However shaken your feet,
however much you are bruised,
you crawl, hop, but get up and take
that first step, that’s what I learnt
from him. After every hurdle I have
faced, it’s become more clear to me
that we need to embrace life with
all its tears, screams, the anger, the
pain, the shame, because they all
demand to be felt. And every time
I fall, I have promised myself that
however shaky my feet, I will get
up. It’s only after a disaster that you
are resurrected.
MAY 2015 | WWW.CINESPRINT.COM
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