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Rational, I have very high standards and don't give praise readily. Go ahead and have fun; I much prefer
the company of my own thoughts over tedious small talk.]
So here we see a number of interesting INTJ characteristics.
The NT tendency to set high standards and not be easily impressed is in evidence when Darcy
describes Elizabeth merely as "tolerant, but not handsome enough to tempt me." (As you can
imagine, Elizabeth wasn't exactly thrilled about this assessment of her person.) Compare this to Mr.
Bingley's glowing ESFP description of the women in the room.
Darcy preferred to dance (and socialize) only with partners whom he was particularly acquainted
with; he saw no point in joining in otherwise. Choiniere & Keirsey (1992) have noted that
Rationals aren't keen on dancing, and INTJs are quite happy to ruminate internally as a way to pass
the time. If the real world can't compete with what's going on inside, then they'll just stand around
enjoying the contents of their own skull. Again, compare this to the attitude of Mr. Bingley, who
seemed to be enjoying the party to the full. This is why people say INTJs are "anti-social."
When we compare the ESFP and INTJ attitudes, we see why INTJs tend to be chary of social
gatherings:
The manner in which they [Darcy and Bingley] spoke of the Meryton assembly was sufficiently
characteristic. Bingley had never met with more pleasant people or prettier girls in his life; everybody
had been most kind and attentive to him; there had been no formality, no stiffness; he had soon felt
acquainted with all the room; and, as to Miss [Jane] Bennet, he could not conceive an angel more
beautiful. Darcy, on the contrary, had seen a collection of people in whom there was little beauty and no
fashion, for none of whom he had felt the smallest interest, and from none received either attention or
pleasure. Miss [Jane] Bennet he acknowledged to be pretty, but she smiled too much.
A very different outlook, no?
What Did Darcy and Elizabeth See in Each Other?
Since the ENFP/INTJ pairing has been featured so prominently in MBTI circles, it may be
interesting to take a closer look at what Darcy and Elizabeth saw in each other.
After Elizabeth realized she had been wrong in her grudge against Darcy, she began to take note of
his good side. She quickly perceived that an ENFP/INTJ match could be a growth experience for
both partners:
She began now to comprehend that he was exactly the man who, in disposition and talents, would most
suit her. His understanding and temper, though unlike her own, would have answered all her wishes. It
was an union that must have been to the advantage of both; by her ease and liveliness, his mind might
have been softened, his manners improved; and from his judgment, information, and knowledge of the
world, she must have received benefit of greater importance.
A commentator also described the mutual benefits of the match: 118
Elizabeth and Darcy find what is difficult to find in a relationship—they share a love of conversation with
each other and while they are very different, each completes the other. He offers her stability and
strength, she helps him to laugh at himself and the world. He offers her passion and loyalty, she offers
him devotion and a lively wit.
The mutual satisfaction in conversation is often associated with the intuitive preference in a
relationship. The INTJ provides inner strength and a deep, loyal love, while the ENFP provides
fun, joy and warm affection.
118 Why Women Love Mr. Darcy, 2012