Create successful ePaper yourself
Turn your PDF publications into a flip-book with our unique Google optimized e-Paper software.
(Note that some of the averages include the INTJs already.)<br />
• Fidelity 1.33 [1] (ENTPs excluded)<br />
• Mutual commitment 2 [3] (ENTPs excluded)<br />
• Mutual support 2.5 [2]<br />
• Humor 4 (NTPs only counted)<br />
• Intimacy 4 (ENTPs only counted)<br />
• Being listened to 4.5 [5] (INTs only counted)<br />
• Shared values 5 [6] (NTJs only counted)<br />
• Having fun together 5 [7] (INTPs excluded)<br />
• Accepting each other's differences 5 (ENTPs only counted)<br />
• Intellectual stimulation 5.75 [4]<br />
• Companionship 6.33 (INTJs excluded)<br />
The INTJ – INTJ Pairing<br />
The INTJ-INTJ match is of particular interest since it is the only verifiably preferred pairing for<br />
INTJs. As is the case with most matches between identical personalities, there will be many shared<br />
likes and dislikes. There won’t be too many problems with Pygmalion projects. People tend to<br />
describe the INTJ-INTJ pairing as being comfortable or easy to live with.<br />
This relationship may be slow to get started because INTJs hesitate to make the first move. The<br />
partners may remain friends for years, or have a “binocular” relationship where they observe each<br />
other from a distance. But when they do finally get together, INTJs find it liberating to be<br />
understood by someone else (at last). It may feel as if they have met their soulmate. They delight<br />
in having a person who can keep up with them on an intellectual level without losing interest or<br />
becoming emotional. And, since they both have an NT interest in abstract, logical discussion, the<br />
conversations will be a feast of learning for both.<br />
As you might guess, INTJs are not the type that complains, "Why don't you spend more time with<br />
me?" Each member of the couple understands the need for alone time and will support each other<br />
as they pursue projects of interest. They will be content to sit at home with a book or computer,<br />
enjoying quiet companionship and occasionally sharing whatever interesting ideas they discover.<br />
Since INTJs are so independent, the relationship is based upon mutual enjoyment rather than<br />
"need." Dogs need constant companionship, but cats can live without it—they choose to hang out<br />
with humans because it adds even more pleasure to an already largely-fulfilled life. An INTJ<br />
relationships is like a cat-cat relationship. Being an island is perfectly fine for each partner, but<br />
being together is even better!<br />
Issues<br />
Even with all the similarities between two INTJs, there can still be disagreements. For example, an<br />
INTJ with a slight preference for judging may enjoy a clean house, but not as much as an JINT (see<br />
Appendix 1) with a very clear preference for judging. How clean is clean enough? The INTJ wants<br />
the house clean, but the JINT wants the house really clean. Or, two INTJs might have clashing<br />
organizational systems, i.e. one partner may want the books organized by subject, while the other<br />
wants them organized by genre. INTJs can also (hypocritically) find each other's INTJ tendencies<br />
irritating: "I wish she wouldn't be so argumentative." "Why does he criticize everything?" 92<br />
INTJs are very stubborn. This means that disagreements will take more effort to resolve because<br />
92 Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 2000
Change language