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INTJ/Rational – “The Mindmate” 88<br />
All NTs place a particularly high value on intellectual stimulation in a relationship. 89 As you can<br />
imagine, an NT/NT pairing meets this need in abundance. Since NTs continually want to build<br />
competence and accumulate more knowledge, the effect is that each partner continually feeds each<br />
other's mind. Building skills and sharing new information is a bonding activity in an INTJ/Rational<br />
relationship.<br />
Rationals often appreciate the INTJ's ability to give constructive criticism and provide a second<br />
opinion. NTs are surprised and pleased when someone provides a useful insight that allows them to<br />
improve their project.<br />
Rational couples also tend to expect and receive total honesty from each other. (“Yes, those pants<br />
do make you look fat.” “Thank you, I thought so.”) Since both partners are straightforward, there<br />
need be little doubt where either stands.<br />
It is interesting that all Rationals except the INTJs rated "companionship" as one of their top seven<br />
most important values in a relationship (not that INTJs saw it as completely unimportant; 56% of<br />
them said that it was "most important" to a relationship). Associated with this, the INTJs rated<br />
"spending time together" as a low priority value in a relationship, which none of the other Rationals<br />
did. It seems the INTJ's spouse will probably want the INTJ around more than vice versa.<br />
The INTJs were very different from the ENTPs, their NT opposites. In particular, ENTPs ranked<br />
"intimacy," "humor," and "accepting one another's differences" as being more valuable in a<br />
relationship, while the INTJs did not. By contrast, the INTJs ranked "shared values," "fidelity," and<br />
"being listened to" as being more valuable in a relationship, while the INTJs did not. There may be<br />
a bit of a clash between the contrary dictates of "accepting one another's differences" and "shared<br />
values," but the ENTPs do enjoy the INTJ's unique brand of humor and love for debate. As we<br />
shall see, a relationship based on differences has its own satisfiers, though it is apparently not as<br />
common as a relationship based on similarities.<br />
Issues<br />
Keirsey has noted that since Rationals are a project-focused, independent bunch, an NT – NT<br />
couple needs to take especial care to maintain their relationship. 90 Since they do not need each<br />
other as much as other types do, they can drift apart without realizing it.<br />
INTJs should be on guard against insisting too much on winning arguments and always being right.<br />
The partners should avoid vying with each for superiority; criticism should not go too far.<br />
Remember, Rationals are the most argumentative and critical temperament. Do not turn your<br />
powers upon your spouse.<br />
Gifts<br />
When it comes to getting a present for a Rational, there is an interesting points to consider:<br />
Rationals are the temperament that is least interested in giving and receiving gifts (read here). 91<br />
They are probably the type that is easiest to not shop for: just get them a gift card (preferably for a<br />
company they can buy from online—they like online shopping the most of all temperaments) or<br />
some cold hard cash, bitcoin, etc, and you're all set. Caution: Rationals are particularly blase about<br />
88 Keirsey, 1998<br />
89 Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 2000<br />
90 Keirsey, 1998<br />
91 Parent, n.d.
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