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2. North Carolina<br />
3. Georgia<br />
4. Utah<br />
5. Kansas<br />
6. Oklahoma<br />
7. Nebraska<br />
8. Florida<br />
9. Arizona<br />
10. Missouri<br />
Friendships and Family Relationships<br />
A major study found that INTJs rated their friendships as the least satisfying of all types. 33 Both<br />
INTPs and INTJs were viewed as keeping people at a distance, and they were the only two types<br />
described in this manner. Notably, this pattern did not hold true for relationships with their family<br />
members—for family relationships, INTJs were in the middle of the pack in terms of satisfaction.<br />
Nor was there anything out of the ordinary with their rated satisfaction for marriage/intimate<br />
relationships.<br />
Therefore, it appears that something specific to INTJs is causing a friendship problem. (ITs and<br />
INFs were the runners up in terms of low friendship satisfaction and this group more or less tied for<br />
second least satisfied.) There appears to be no specific set of trends that would explain why INTJs<br />
have special problems in this area, though Thorne and Gough's (1991) adjective study did find that<br />
male INTJs were viewed not seeming "friendly."<br />
The idea that INTJs have an issue in this area of friendships is confirmed by a study of the values of<br />
each type. 34 Only 30.8% of INTJs rated "Relationship/friendships" as "very important"--the lowest<br />
of all types. (The average was 62.6%, with ENFPs rating it the highest at 79.5%.) This leaves us<br />
with the question: do INTJs have low satisfaction with their friendships because they see them as<br />
being of low importance, or do they rate their friendships as being of low importance because they<br />
find them unsatisfying?<br />
Interestingly, 65.1% of INTJs rated the value of "Home and family" as "very important." Though<br />
this is certainly a high valuation, it was still the lowest value placed on "Home and family" of all<br />
types. In fact, INTJs and INTPs were the only types that did not see "Home and family" as the most<br />
important value of all. (INTJs rated "Health" as more important. I suppose you can't enjoy your<br />
home and family if you're dead.) By comparison, the average percentage of respondents who<br />
thought "Home and family"was "very important" was 84.8%, with ENTJs ranking it the highest at<br />
97.9%.<br />
How to Get Friends?<br />
Speaking as an INTP who went for several years without a friend, I understand how heavily the<br />
question of "Why can't I make friends?" can weigh upon a person's mind. At some point, a<br />
friendless person begins to assume that no one could, or would, desire their company. The logical<br />
INT solution is therefore to avoid fruitless interactions altogether and entertain oneself with solitary<br />
pastimes. True, INTs are probably better able to tolerate this sort of existence better than other<br />
33 Myers, McCaulley, Quenk & Hammer, 1998<br />
34 Myers, McCaulley, Quenk & Hammer, 1998
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