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that appear on one's vision after staring at a bright light. He ended up lying in a darkened room for<br />
three days. Later, in an attempt to study the effects of pressure upon vision, he poked a blunt needle<br />
into the rear of his eye socket and pressed on the back of his eyeball with it. One is never too old to<br />
learn new things.<br />
One final thing to note is that INTJs are good at resisting peer pressure. (Remember how they did<br />
on the Asch conformity test?) In fact, INTJs are more likely to find that fitting in with their peers<br />
takes study and real effort.<br />
Quiet and Privacy<br />
INTJ children are more quiet, distant, and objective than other children. They spend so much time<br />
in their heads thinking that they may not even hear their name when it is called. This can lead<br />
parents and teachers to worry about ADD or even a hearing problem. Adults may perceive the INTJ<br />
as living in an alternate reality or "dream world" because they tune out their environment so well as<br />
they focus on their inward musings.<br />
INTJs seldom share their deeper emotions with others—including their parents. If they must cry,<br />
they prefer to do it in the quiet sanctuary of their own room. Suffering causes them to draw inward;<br />
they face their misery silently and with a stony face. Since this is how they always look, no one<br />
may notice that anything is wrong. Or, the reverse can happen: the INTJ's parents observe the<br />
INTJ's natural liking for privacy and impassive face and assume that their child is hiding a dark<br />
secret from them or doesn't trust them. But really the INTJ is just fine. It's hard to tell with this<br />
type.<br />
When the INTJ does share their emotions, it is best to listen silently 231 and impassively, as though<br />
you were an INTJ yourself. Don't give advice unless it is asked for. The INTJ's words should be<br />
kept sealed and not shared with the general public.<br />
Another emotion that INTJs are reserved about is affection. Parents (particularly EFs) who expect<br />
hugs, kisses and confidences may be frustrated by the INTJ's characteristic reserve. 232 It also grates<br />
INTJs to be expected to act unnaturally friendly and warm towards relatives and acquaintances who<br />
have just been introduced to them. ("Come here and give me a kiss!") Parents may also be<br />
disappointed in the INTJ's seeming or real lack of empathy for others.<br />
Not all INTJs who prefer to be alone are socially awkward. Some have good social skills but find<br />
other people uninteresting. Others like the idea of friendship in theory, but find that the reality of<br />
their peers' companionship falls short of their expectations—they want to have fun with others, but<br />
others don't want to do anything that INTJs find fun. Still others are liked by everyone, but do not<br />
really feel much of an emotional attachment to anyone in return, nor are they bothered by this.<br />
Parents may be worried because the child spends so much time alone or reading in their room. This<br />
leads them to push their child into social situations. But INTJs are not terribly keen on meeting new<br />
people or making pointless conversation with strangers. Given the choice between spending a<br />
productive hour alone and spending a nonproductive chatting, most will go for option one. If<br />
placed in a social situation, INTJs like to wait and watch for awhile before joining in (if they decide<br />
to join in at all). However, INTJs tend to become more social when they enter middle school; at<br />
this point they start caring a bit more about functioning in group settings.<br />
231 Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 1997<br />
232 Tieger & Barron-Tieger, 1997
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