o_19kdfsn0q18e31dfraas1esh19vta.pdf

said so" or "Because I gave birth to you."
Childrens' tantrums do not present much of a problem for the INTJ parent. They instinctively
realize that if they reward such behavior by giving in to the child's demands or providing extra
attention in an attempt to quell the tantrum, it will only cause more tantrums later. Instead, they
merely observe the tantrum, perhaps deriving internal amusement from the spectacle, then proceed
to ignore it completely. The INTJ's children quickly learn that explosions are a waste of time. (For
all INTJs who worry that if they had children, said offspring would end up behaving like the
screaming brats at the store, don't worry.)
Bowditch furnishes us with several excellent examples of both discipline and positive
reinforcement. Here is what one of his kids had to say about him:
A model for the imitation of all parents, he avoided every thing calculated to interrupt the mutual
confidence and familiarity which existed between him and his family. Though readily granting any
reasonable favor, he was never weakly indulgent. Inculcating by precept and example the most valuable
lessons of life, affection ever prompted and directed his admonitions, and a sound judgment always
controlled the impulses of affection.
Weak indulgence is the last thing an INTJ parent will be accused of. They temper "the impulses of
affection" with "sound judgment" to avoiding spoiling their children or breeding bad habits.
He also cultivated in his children the INTJ value of total truthfulness:
...many years ago, in Salem, one of his sons, at a female school, being in an apartment with one other boy,
threw a ball which broke a mirror; and his comrade advised concealment. He was so much pleased when
his son told the truth immediately about the affair, that, though he was then obliged to live with rigid
economy, and the payment was really inconvenient to him, he bought a new mirror, and expressed far
more pleasure at the son's performance of so high a duty as telling the truth, than he did at his
carelessness.
In this situation, many parents will think first of the mirror and neighbors' opinion of them. This
INTJ was focused on reinforcing moral principles and teaching his son about the long-term value of
honesty.
Compliments and praise do not come easily to Rationals; therefore one disciplinary skill that INTJs
may need to practice is giving rewards for good behavior. And of course, there's nothing like using
star formations as a reward for good behavior:
...the influence of his [Bowditch's astronomical] studies was felt by his children, whose greatest reward
was to receive from him, in token of his approbation, the drawings of various constellations upon their
arms or forehead. It was a sad day for them, when they did not receive from his pen the representation of
the Belt of Orion, or of some other beautiful appearance in the heavens.
Only a Rational parent would think of out constellations as a reward. Actually, however, the idea of
giving a daily reward simply for being good is not something that an INTJ is likely to see as
valuable; they tend to believe that only above average efforts should be rewarded, while daily
maintenance is taken for granted. This is one area in which INTJ parents can study to improve.
Special Challenges
EF children can be an especial challenge for INTJ parents because the INTJ does not have EF needs
and therefore may not really understand why their child seems to want more overt, verbal attention
and affection than the INTJ themselves would require, i.e. a relatively low amount compared to
other types. (This is something that happens to parents of every type: they try to treat the child like