o_19kdfsn0q18e31dfraas1esh19vta.pdf

an account were such that he might be forced to sue a female client in order to get her to comply
with the terms she had agreed to, he would turn down the business entirely. (For men, however, he
had no such compunctions.)
If it was necessary to disappoint a client, Bowditch tried to be gentle about it. This is actually a
skill that not all INTJs are capable of, and for this reason even moral INTJs are not necessarily
considered "nice" by other people, even if their behavior is beyond reproach. Bowditch, however,
had a reputation for being both nice and moral. This was due in part to the fact that he understood
well how to walk softly and carry a big stick. For instance, he once refused to insure the ship of a
certain captain on the justification that the captain's previous experiences showed that he "was
unlucky." Observe how he tries to walk softly, until finally being forced to bring out the stick.
[T]he captain called upon [Bowditch] to complain of his imputing to him as a fault what was but a
misfortune; and, after trying for some time to evade a direct reply, Dr. Bowditch at last said, "If you do
not know that, when you got your vessel on shore on Cape Cod, in a moon-light night, with a fair wind,
you forfeited your reputation as an intelligent and careful ship-master, I must now tell you so; and this is
what I mean by being unlucky."
First Bowditch simply observed that the captain had been "unlucky," then when pressed, he tried
"for some time to evade a direct reply." There are many INTJs who will inform people of their
faults right away without mincing words. As straightforward purveyors of truth, they see no reason
to soften hard sayings, and indeed, may not know how.
Not that Bowditch would lie; he was a strong advocate of perfect honesty. On his deathbed, he said,
"Follow truth—truth—truth! Let that be the family motto." His biographer notes, "...during his
life, he considered that any one, who even suspected him of falsehood, had done him the greatest
injury." Ruthless honesty comes more naturally to INTJs than to most other types; the difficulty is
in adding tact to truthfulness. Note too that Bowditch didn't say, "Well, I'm sure you did the best
you could when your ship ran aground; sometimes even on a moonlit night in fair weather these
things happen. Unfortunately I'm afraid the company policy is clear; I just can't help you." Once he
was forced to give a direct reply, he gave a direct reply.
Many Rationals who are considered "nice" are doing so as a choice; they are quite capable of
stating the exact truth in all its cold, hard glory, or even of slashing an opponent's ego to ribbons
with a sarcastic verbal attack, but they choose to restrain themselves out of consideration for their
fellow humans.
Not that Bowditch could always restrain himself.
Dr. Bowditch, in a conversation with his eldest son upon this subject, once said, "There is a gentleman in
this city, (naming him,) who possesses such courtly manners, that he can utter a bitter sarcasm, or express
profound contempt, in the most mild and conciliatory language. Such, however, is not my case. If I am
obliged to measure my words, or even to think in the least about them, I lose the substance of what I
intended to say. When I feel that I cannot remain silent, I speak—and in such terms that no one can
mistake my meaning. But, my speech being ended, the whole affair is over. I pour out, indeed, the
contents of my vial of wrath, but I then let it be seen that it is left empty." And though it is certain that his
was not that guarded demeanor, which, upon every occasion of life, prevents the utterance of a word
which it may be desirable to recall, it is also certain that this was a source of more regret to himself than
of pain to others.
On an unrelated note, this paragraph shows two characteristics of extraversion, i.e. not thinking of
one's words before speaking and not having a guarded demeanor. It is a type truism that when it
comes to speech, introverts are more likely to regret not having spoken up, while extraverts are
more likely to regret having said too much. It seems that Bowditch's "hesitancy of speech" turned