Buddhist-Meditation-Systematic-and-Practical

The first two sections of this biography are now complete
and we come to the third division called "secret" where
inspirations concerning practical renunciation are the
most important points, and it is necessary to understand
that we must get perfect renunciation and that our desire
to practice must always be strong. I will give an example
of this. When I was a teacher during the long summer
vacation, I was able to practice for two months as a
hermit and again for one month during the winter
holidays. This I did for many years. When the time came
to return to school I always wept for during my work at
school there was little time for meditation. And yet I
knew that I must earn money to support my aged parents
and my family. So what could I do? We have many lives
and therefore many parents and we should try to save
them all, but in this life due to bad actions in the past I
was not able to free myself from my family. Many times I
tried to give up family life and be like the great Tibetan
solitary Milarepa but there was nobody to support mother,
father and family. Again I wanted very often to be a
bhikshu but could not leave home due to worldly
obligations.
At one time when I was half awake, the Dakini of Heruka
came to me and said, "Go to Si Chuan." And so I went
there to get detailed teachings of the Vajrayana. I could
only go if there was some source of income so it was
fortunate that I got a chance just on the date after I heard
the Dakini's command. A secretary of Central
Government due to the war was evacuated there. I was
promised to fill up in it. When I arrived there, he was
absent for seven days. I was without money, so I used
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