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When the dancers of the light begin their show<br />
You smile and ask if I can see it too<br />
When I look back and say I can<br />
You know I'm lying as all I see is fire is the smoke on my clothes the next<br />
morning<br />
When you look at me and see all the things that make me human<br />
You smile and ask if I can see it too<br />
When I look back and say I can<br />
You know I'm lying as all I see in me is the flaws that break everything<br />
apart<br />
Judge’s Comment<br />
This is a really sad poem, contrasting the wonder seen by ‘you’, the<br />
subject of the poem, and the melancholy felt by the narrator. The<br />
construction is clever.<br />
Kane TREMBLAY, 12<br />
Yankalilla Area School<br />
YANKALILLA SA<br />
Dead Man Down<br />
We drove past the red and white body,<br />
It was as cold and lifeless as the mountains in the background.<br />
I watched it as we went past and a cold chill ran down my back.<br />
The light from the cops car flashing on my face,<br />
The man's car smoking in the background.<br />
Judge’s Comment<br />
Short and to the point, the length of the poem echoes the brief glimpse<br />
the narrator has of the scene she describes. The use of colour and light<br />
adds to the effect of the chilling glimpse.
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