Me2moro Magazine

Parent Network
Six Ideas for When
Your Teen Seems Sad or
Depressed
Teens get down just like adults do. They
feel sad, miserable and depressed. For
some teens these times pass fairly quickly.
For others, they last a long time. In either case,
parents are crucial in helping sad teens cope.
Here are six ideas to consider.
1 Sympathize and don’t try to “talk
them out of” being sad
It is hard to see teens feeling sad. We feel upset
to see them suffering. And because they often
act irritably when they are feeling sad, we get
frustrated. For both of these reasons, we often try
to “jolly them out of feeling bad” or minimize
their sadness. We say things like “you’ll be okay”
or “don’t be upset”, “it’s not that bad” or similar.
Unfortunately while meant well, these kind of
statements can make teens feel worse. It can
suggest to the teen that it’s not okay that they
are upset, which makes teens feel like no-one
understands or cares. Instead, we should be
frequently saying things like, “I’m so sorry you
are feeling so disappointed”, “I know you are
feeling hopeless, and I’m sorry it feels sad right
now”, “I don’t know exactly how to help you but
I care a lot about you feeling so sad”. And skip
the “but….here’s the lesson” comments at the
end. At least for now.
2 Try to keep sad teens talking and
being with others
When we feel sad, we have a strong instinct to
withdraw from others. We don’t want to talk, be
around other people, share our thoughts nor to
listen to others. Unfortunately, being apart from
people makes us feel worse in the long run. On
the other hand, research is clear that when we are
socially connected to people, depression is more
likely to lift. Sad teens need to be with and be
communicating with friends, talking to adults
they trust and spending time with family – not
shut in their room constantly. Because they often
don’t feel like doing this, we need to encourage
and facilitate this social activity. This might mean
helping them to organise outings with friends,
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