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should carry every day. Since it was a
government building and because I
was carrying my weapon, I had to wait
outside. It was then that I noticed I was
surrounded on a four block radius by
either state, local or federal buildings
and that if I were to be in need to use
the facilities, I’d be in a world of internal
hurt. The information was filed for
future reference as in, “Next time plan
ahead and make sure you can have a
place to ‘rest’ and not go to jail.” Sarah
came down after barely 15 minutes,
singing the praises of the all-female
staff and the speed of the process. She
was told that it might take up to two
months, but a realistic expectation
would be three weeks.
Next thing I hear
is, “We are going
to the range.”
Sarah chose the Galco Miami Classic II as one of her carry options. It fits with her
business work clothes and it is comfortable to wear.
stituted by gear of her choice whenever
she so desired, and in the quantities
she demanded, or my soul was to be
damned for eternity plus thirty days.
She then proceeded to assign me with
searching stores, the internet, and the
20th cell of Hell for a contoured leather
belt in 1.5 inch width. I asked what a
contoured belt was and she just let
out a sigh while murmuring minimal
curses about the stupidity of men. She
went on to explain women’s curvature
and how a belt should conform to it in
order to properly sustain a holster and
hold a weapon steady. I admit that I
stopped paying attention at “women’s
curvature” and my mind wandered
toward other applications of such geometrical
features. She noticed my leery
and lost eyes and after applying her
standard correction method to my distraction,
a second set of stitches were
needed on my anatomy and I returned
to the search. Forty-eight hours, two
laptops and four search engines later,
I managed to find one that pleased her
sense of style, utility and frugality. As a
reward, I got scratched under the chin
and I purred with glee. Yes, we have
cats in our household, and yes, I am
placed at the bottom of the totem pole.
In the state of Florida you can either
send your application for a concealed
weapons permit via mail to Tallahassee
or if you happen to live near a regional
Division of Licensing office, you can
show up with your certificate and a
check, and fill all the requirements (application
form, fingerprints and photo)
electronically. We decided to go to our
local office in downtown Miami using
the Metro Rail which, if anything, by
just looking at some of the passengers,
showed her the many reasons why one
After all the work she had me doing,
I was expecting a reprieve in the form
of a restful weekend with a Sunday ingesting
an inordinate amount of pancakes
and sausage plus snoring in front
of the TV; that was not to be. Next thing
I hear is, “We are going to the range,”
using the tone of voice women have
in which you can actually see an accusatory
finger floating in front of the
words. By now, I was wiser and just
grabbed her and my range bag, loaded
everything into the truck, and drove
to our local shooting palace. For the
next two hours I carefully and humbly
supervised her, gave some pointers
that she followed as she became increasingly
better at manipulating and
shooting her gun. She is not ready to
compete against Julie Golob, but I do
feel that an unknowing predator would
risk a nasty surprise if he decided to
mess with this Southern Chick.
Final Thoughts: It goes without
saying that I am being facetious in the
above writing … OK, mostly facetious,
but I am not allowed to comment
on the veracity of the stitches. What I
want to impress on my fellow males is
that there are huge differences in the
way women think and we don’t. No
matter our intentions, we might not
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USCONCEALEDCARRY.COM n CONCEALED CARRY MAGAZINE n MAY/JUNE 2011