C ome Sit with Me by the River Poems Avril Meallem
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C<strong>ome</strong> <strong>Sit</strong> <strong>with</strong> <strong>Me</strong><br />
<strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>River</strong><br />
<strong>Avril</strong> <strong>Me</strong>allem
C<strong>ome</strong> <strong>Sit</strong> <strong>with</strong> <strong>Me</strong> <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>River</strong><br />
First edition 2015<br />
Copyright © 2015 <strong>Avril</strong> <strong>Me</strong>allem<br />
All Rights Reserved<br />
No part of this book, except brief excerpts for<br />
<strong>the</strong> purpose of reviews, may be reproduced in<br />
any manner <strong>with</strong>out permission of <strong>the</strong> author.<br />
Lavi Publications, Jerusalem, Israel<br />
E-mail: aemeallem@gmail.com<br />
Web sites: www.avrilm.webs.com<br />
www.tapestrypoetry.webs.com
Dedications<br />
To my cherished husband Ezra and children Michael,<br />
Reyna, Daniel and Ilana <strong>with</strong>out whose encouragement<br />
and love my poetic journey would have never flourished.<br />
To my precious grandchildren who bring me so much joy.<br />
To all my friends and colleagues for <strong>the</strong>ir continuous<br />
support and love.<br />
In Loving <strong>Me</strong>mory of my parents Enid and Jack Altman.<br />
Appreciation<br />
My sincere gratitude and appreciation to Gretti Izak for<br />
her constant encouragement to continue on my adventure<br />
in <strong>the</strong> world of poetry and to her, Ruth Fogelman and<br />
Es<strong>the</strong>r Sutton for <strong>the</strong>ir invaluable critique of this collection<br />
of poems.
Contents<br />
Preface<br />
ix<br />
Poet’s Pen<br />
A Book of Time<br />
C<strong>ome</strong> <strong>Sit</strong> <strong>with</strong> <strong>Me</strong><br />
My <strong>River</strong><br />
This Glorious Nature<br />
An Ancient <strong>Me</strong>lody<br />
Gratitude<br />
A Scene of Dreams<br />
Undaunted <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> Wind<br />
A Forest Tapestry<br />
Lost in a Dreamy Reverie<br />
In <strong>the</strong> Depth of <strong>the</strong> Forest<br />
When all is Still<br />
Song of Silence<br />
Transparent Moonbeams<br />
A Greyscale Painting<br />
A Door in <strong>the</strong> Wall<br />
Shadow of a Butterfly<br />
Birth of an Inspiration<br />
Little Grasshopper<br />
The Horseradish<br />
A Very Contented Snail<br />
15<br />
16<br />
18<br />
19<br />
20<br />
21<br />
22<br />
23<br />
24<br />
25<br />
26<br />
27<br />
28<br />
29<br />
30<br />
31<br />
32<br />
33<br />
34<br />
35<br />
36
A Light So Bright<br />
Take this Pen<br />
Dancing on <strong>the</strong> Pages<br />
Without Thought<br />
Orchestra of Angels<br />
Here is <strong>the</strong> Key<br />
Cosmic Balance<br />
So Fragile<br />
His Presence<br />
To Drink from His Gifts<br />
My Soul has a Voice<br />
Oasis of Tranquility<br />
At <strong>the</strong> Kotel<br />
A Moonless Night<br />
Born to Dance<br />
A Particle of Dust<br />
Our Umbilical Cord<br />
To Bask in His Glory<br />
It Can Only Be Good<br />
Love<br />
41<br />
42<br />
43<br />
44<br />
45<br />
46<br />
47<br />
48<br />
49<br />
50<br />
51<br />
52<br />
53<br />
54<br />
55<br />
56<br />
57<br />
58<br />
59
Can I Let Go?<br />
There in <strong>the</strong> corner of my life<br />
I feel empty<br />
Snow clouds skim<br />
Here is my pen<br />
My thoughts are entangled<br />
A piece of white parchment<br />
I stir fry my words<br />
Open a window<br />
I’m groping for a stronghold<br />
Corridors of my life<br />
I have misplaced <strong>the</strong> key<br />
I put <strong>the</strong> key into <strong>the</strong> lock<br />
I cannot let go<br />
As a child <strong>the</strong>re was a force<br />
I search <strong>the</strong> seas<br />
The clouds part<br />
It hits me like a flood<br />
An empty pot sits on <strong>the</strong> stove<br />
I will not delve into my pain<br />
Where is my song hiding<br />
Am I seeking to return<br />
63<br />
64<br />
65<br />
66<br />
67<br />
68<br />
69<br />
70<br />
71<br />
72<br />
73<br />
74<br />
75<br />
76<br />
77<br />
78<br />
79<br />
80<br />
81<br />
82<br />
83
Kaleidoscope<br />
Soft Grey Clay<br />
Virgin Canvas<br />
And <strong>the</strong>n I Remembered<br />
Eternal Love<br />
Welc<strong>ome</strong><br />
Do not Feel Sad for <strong>Me</strong><br />
I Won’t Give Up<br />
Choices<br />
Patience<br />
India<br />
Overwhelmed<br />
A Magical M<strong>ome</strong>nt in Mongolia<br />
Beyond Labels<br />
Stop a M<strong>ome</strong>nt<br />
A Surreal Scene<br />
Jerusalem<br />
To <strong>the</strong> Kotel<br />
Our Eyes <strong>Me</strong>et<br />
Cry of <strong>the</strong> Earth<br />
Imagination<br />
My Story<br />
Glossary<br />
87<br />
88<br />
89<br />
90<br />
92<br />
93<br />
94<br />
96<br />
98<br />
99<br />
100<br />
101<br />
102<br />
104<br />
106<br />
107<br />
108<br />
109<br />
110<br />
111<br />
111<br />
115
בס "ד<br />
Preface<br />
My hope in sharing <strong>the</strong>se poems is that <strong>the</strong>y will<br />
bring to you <strong>the</strong> same feelings of hope, joy and<br />
wonderment that I experienced. The poems in<br />
section three express my struggle <strong>with</strong> personal<br />
emotions which s<strong>ome</strong> of you may also relate to and<br />
have <strong>the</strong> feeling; oh, so I am not <strong>the</strong> only one!<br />
I have so much gratitude to HaShem for having<br />
opened His gates of creativity and allowed me to<br />
connect to <strong>the</strong> source of free-flowing words that<br />
are beyond my thoughts.<br />
<strong>Avril</strong> <strong>Me</strong>allem
C<strong>ome</strong> <strong>Sit</strong> <strong>with</strong> <strong>Me</strong><br />
<strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> <strong>River</strong>
Poet’s pen touches paper.<br />
A spring bursts forth<br />
from a source beyond thought.<br />
Words spill into <strong>the</strong> river of time.
A Book of Time<br />
We’re all just specs of <strong>the</strong> same stardust<br />
animated <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> supernal energy<br />
that flows throughout <strong>the</strong> universe.<br />
I, you, <strong>the</strong> rocks, <strong>the</strong> sea...<br />
no different in intrinsic matter;<br />
differentiated only <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> Will of God.<br />
We are all as one,<br />
a unity beyond understanding.<br />
My life ebbs and flows<br />
as all life, as all oceans.<br />
So you see, my book is your book;<br />
a book of time in a timeless universe.<br />
~ 15 ~
C<strong>ome</strong> <strong>Sit</strong> <strong>with</strong> <strong>Me</strong><br />
C<strong>ome</strong>, sit <strong>with</strong> me<br />
here <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> river.<br />
Let your feet dangle<br />
in <strong>the</strong> sparkling waters.<br />
Feel <strong>the</strong> coolness<br />
calm your mind,<br />
just be here<br />
in this m<strong>ome</strong>nt.<br />
Speak to me in silence<br />
and I will hear your soul.<br />
Let our eyes focus<br />
on our broken reflections<br />
Is that you or me?<br />
Can you hear my heart?<br />
It speaks of love,<br />
a bond between us<br />
that can never be broken.<br />
I feel <strong>the</strong> breeze<br />
Can you?<br />
~ 16 ~
I hear <strong>the</strong> rustle<br />
of overhanging, willow leaves<br />
Can you?<br />
I see <strong>the</strong> Divine<br />
Can you?<br />
C<strong>ome</strong> closer –Take my hand,<br />
I know <strong>the</strong> river<br />
Do you?<br />
~ 17 ~
My <strong>River</strong><br />
I flow over pebbles,<br />
curve around rocky outcrops,<br />
carve my way through deepening valleys.<br />
S<strong>ome</strong>times tranquil, gently reflecting<br />
<strong>the</strong> images of my surroundings,<br />
as paintings deep <strong>with</strong>in my soul.<br />
O<strong>the</strong>r times spewing up spray<br />
like a volcanic eruption,<br />
as I travel over a multitude<br />
of hidden boulders.<br />
Then I fall into an a<strong>by</strong>ss of nothingness.<br />
Hurtling down <strong>the</strong> cliff wall<br />
I fear catastrophe, <strong>the</strong> unknown,<br />
but <strong>the</strong>re is no turning back<br />
and only my faith in <strong>the</strong> Creator sustains me.<br />
I hit <strong>the</strong> river bed below<br />
and continue on my ever changing journey<br />
to merge <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> waters of <strong>the</strong> open sea,<br />
evaporate heavenwards,<br />
and wait till I bec<strong>ome</strong> as a raindrop<br />
to fall back to <strong>the</strong> earth once again.<br />
~ 18 ~
This Glorious Nature<br />
The smell of new mown grass,<br />
<strong>the</strong> intoxicating perfume<br />
of citrus blossom, jasmine and roses,<br />
<strong>the</strong> sun on my shivering skin,<br />
a gentle breeze in sweltering heat.<br />
The warmth of a rock<br />
heated <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> summer sun,<br />
<strong>the</strong> tickling of dry sand<br />
and <strong>the</strong> roundness of pebbles on a beach,<br />
<strong>the</strong> wonder of a world beneath <strong>the</strong> sea.<br />
The laughter of children happily at play,<br />
<strong>the</strong> trust of a purring cat,<br />
<strong>the</strong> joy in <strong>the</strong> bird's morning song,<br />
<strong>the</strong> roar of crashing waves.<br />
The crackle of dried, autumn leaves,<br />
<strong>the</strong> gentleness of falling snowflakes,<br />
<strong>the</strong> early morning dew that carpets <strong>the</strong> earth,<br />
<strong>the</strong> swirling mist rising from a valley below,<br />
<strong>the</strong> power of a swollen river after a storm.<br />
Oh, let me feel it all deep <strong>with</strong>in my heart!<br />
~ 19 ~
An Ancient <strong>Me</strong>lody<br />
Moon drops, like diamonds,<br />
dance to an ancient melody<br />
on <strong>the</strong> undulating waves<br />
of <strong>the</strong> darkening sea.<br />
The sun, as it rises,<br />
never witnesses this beauty,<br />
never knows that its enactment<br />
was from its own special light.<br />
The moon,<br />
only able to reflect ano<strong>the</strong>r’s promise<br />
like a servant at its master’s hand.<br />
Our lives in <strong>the</strong> Hand of God;<br />
puppets on a string,<br />
acting in His <strong>the</strong>atre of life.<br />
~ 20 ~
Gratitude<br />
Lapping waves<br />
sing <strong>the</strong> song of creation.<br />
A shimmering sun<br />
battles <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> cool breeze.<br />
Almighty God,<br />
how can I express my gratitude<br />
that my legs brought me<br />
to <strong>the</strong> edge of this ocean,<br />
that my eyes can capture<br />
Your treasures,<br />
that my ears can hear<br />
nature’s sounds,<br />
that my hands can write down<br />
my innermost feelings.<br />
Angels of light<br />
dance on <strong>the</strong> darkening sea,<br />
now caressed <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> setting sun.<br />
My skin chills, but I cannot leave.<br />
~ 21 ~
A Scene of Dreams<br />
Songs of seagulls<br />
warm breeze on my skin<br />
dry sand between my toes<br />
sky <strong>with</strong> streaks of pink and gold<br />
blood red sun on <strong>the</strong> ocean’s horizon<br />
diamonds on <strong>the</strong> crests of waves –<br />
a scene of dreams, hopes and desires<br />
a precious m<strong>ome</strong>nt in <strong>the</strong> tide of time<br />
~ 22 ~
Undaunted <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> Wind<br />
How inspiring to gaze at a tree!<br />
Sense its roots reaching deep down<br />
into <strong>the</strong> rich brown earth,<br />
holding, nourishing,<br />
seeking <strong>the</strong> truth in <strong>the</strong> darkness.<br />
Feel its branches,<br />
like arms reaching upwards<br />
to touch <strong>the</strong> essence of Heaven.<br />
Experience <strong>the</strong> trunk so strong,<br />
undaunted <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> power of <strong>the</strong> wind,<br />
yet dancing, flowing,<br />
yielding to <strong>the</strong> tide of life.<br />
Connect to <strong>the</strong> fruits that it gives<br />
unconditionally to <strong>the</strong> world,<br />
never knowing <strong>the</strong>ir final destiny.<br />
~ 23 ~
A Forest Tapestry<br />
Brown and grey boulders,<br />
forest of many shades of green.<br />
A breeze rustles <strong>the</strong> overhead leaves<br />
creating a ballet of speckled light<br />
on <strong>the</strong> earth below.<br />
A lizard sunning itself<br />
notices my presence,<br />
darts into <strong>the</strong> undergrowth.<br />
How much of nature<br />
lies hidden from my eyes?<br />
A black fly <strong>with</strong> a red head<br />
investigates a possible food source<br />
on <strong>the</strong> tip of my toe,<br />
wanders along my foot, tickles,<br />
but I let it be.<br />
We enjoy <strong>the</strong> forest toge<strong>the</strong>r,<br />
for I, too, am part of this tapestry,<br />
captured in all its beauty.<br />
~ 24 ~
Lost in a Dreamy Reverie<br />
Fir trees surround my little hollow<br />
as if guarding me from an unseen foe,<br />
<strong>the</strong>ir pine needles tinkling<br />
in <strong>the</strong> gentle summer breeze.<br />
I am alone <strong>with</strong> myself,<br />
lost in a dreamy reverie<br />
until, through a gap in <strong>the</strong> forest,<br />
my eye catches <strong>the</strong> shape of a towering building<br />
and <strong>the</strong> roar of traffic assaults my ears;<br />
civilization’s so called progress and pleasures.<br />
But <strong>the</strong>n,<br />
a bird’s melodic call<br />
transports me back<br />
to my place of tranquility<br />
in nature’s enchanting garden.<br />
~ 25 ~
In <strong>the</strong> Depth of <strong>the</strong> Forest<br />
A warm summer breeze caresses my face −<br />
God, comforting me <strong>with</strong> His gentle hands,<br />
calming <strong>the</strong> tangled webs<br />
that swirl around in my mind.<br />
In <strong>the</strong> tranquility of this m<strong>ome</strong>nt,<br />
as shafts of sunlight penetrate<br />
<strong>the</strong> foliage canopy,<br />
I hear His voice<br />
whispering in <strong>the</strong> rustle of leaves.<br />
Can I be silent?<br />
Allow myself to be filled <strong>with</strong> His music.<br />
Absorb all <strong>the</strong> knowing that surrounds me.<br />
Find my bliss in <strong>the</strong> depth of this forest<br />
and take it back into my world outside.<br />
~ 26 ~
When All is Still<br />
It was moonlit night,<br />
one of those magical m<strong>ome</strong>nts<br />
when all is still<br />
and <strong>the</strong> world sleeps.<br />
Black granite hills surround <strong>the</strong> valley<br />
like arms, cradling a resting child.<br />
Seated on a soft, grassy mound<br />
and overc<strong>ome</strong> <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> silence,<br />
I fell into a deep meditation.<br />
Sensing a oneness <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> universe<br />
my soul soared to connect <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> Creator.<br />
I danced to His song as I dissolved<br />
into an ecstatic nothingness.<br />
~ 27 ~
Song of Silence<br />
I hear Your song of silence<br />
in <strong>the</strong> dessert’s stillness<br />
and as <strong>the</strong> sun begins<br />
to set and <strong>the</strong> stars<br />
fill <strong>the</strong> night sky<br />
all bec<strong>ome</strong>s<br />
as a single<br />
soul.<br />
~ 28 ~
Transparent Moonbeams<br />
Naked rocky mountains<br />
cloak me in <strong>the</strong>ir majesty.<br />
A lone, parched acacia tree<br />
strives for survival.<br />
The desert,<br />
so still as an artist’s painting,<br />
cradles me in a thick, sublime silence.<br />
A rounded moon<br />
stealthily rises amongst <strong>the</strong> stars;<br />
Transparent moonbeams<br />
to illuminate my pathway h<strong>ome</strong>.<br />
~ 29 ~
A Greyscale Painting<br />
Rugged chalk cliffs<br />
clo<strong>the</strong>d in colourful wild flowers,<br />
wild, grey-green ocean below me,<br />
white foam crested waves,<br />
crimson setting sun,<br />
scattered puffs<br />
of gold tinged clouds,<br />
dark blue sky <strong>with</strong> streaks<br />
of red and orange.<br />
Night falls<br />
and, as if <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> wave<br />
of a magician’s wand,<br />
this once, multi-coloured scene<br />
transforms into an eerie grey-scale painting.<br />
~ 30 ~
A Door in <strong>the</strong> Wall<br />
I have found my very own hiding place<br />
deep <strong>with</strong>in my imagination.<br />
A place far from war and terror,<br />
far from exploding rockets and air raid sirens.<br />
Through a creaking, wooden door,<br />
hidden behind brambles and ivy,<br />
I enter <strong>the</strong> garden of my dreams.<br />
A dancing waterfall sparkling<br />
in shafts of sunlight.<br />
Emerald green grass, soft and velvety.<br />
The myriad of colours in my garden<br />
soo<strong>the</strong> my tear-filled eyes.<br />
Birds swoop and circle in <strong>the</strong> open sky<br />
and I join <strong>the</strong>m in <strong>the</strong>ir freedom.<br />
We can all have an imaginary garden,<br />
a haven to escape to in times of despair.<br />
The door in <strong>the</strong> wall will always be <strong>the</strong>re,<br />
just waiting for us to open it.<br />
~ 31 ~
Shadow of a Butterfly<br />
An image flashes in my mind;<br />
an exquisite butterfly<br />
<strong>with</strong> orange, gossamer wings,<br />
searching for sweet nectar<br />
deep inside a welcoming flower.<br />
I have to capture this vision,<br />
give to it substance,<br />
share its innate beauty.<br />
Create a masterpiece<br />
from that flash of inspiration;<br />
<strong>the</strong> shadow of a butterfly.<br />
~ 32 ~
Birth of an Inspiration<br />
Butterfly lays an egg –<br />
birth of an inspiration.<br />
Egg hatches,<br />
caterpillar greedily munches leaves –<br />
inspiration mulled over in <strong>the</strong> mind.<br />
Fattened caterpillar weaves its cocoon,<br />
a place of preparation and change –<br />
plans formulated,<br />
inspiration becoming a reality.<br />
Time passes – chrysalis breaks open,<br />
beautiful butterfly unfolds its wings,<br />
takes flight –<br />
our inspiration, a fully fledged creation<br />
ready to take its place in <strong>the</strong> world.<br />
~ 33 ~
Little Grasshopper<br />
What can I learn from you, little grasshopper?<br />
A creature so small, so inconspicuous,<br />
yet at <strong>the</strong> m<strong>ome</strong>nt of my confusion<br />
you appear <strong>with</strong> a message.<br />
You spring into <strong>the</strong> air<br />
not knowing where you will land.<br />
May be it is your simple faith;<br />
an instinct of knowing.<br />
So unlike me,<br />
I have to be prepared<br />
for every possible scenario<br />
before even taking <strong>the</strong> first step.<br />
Yes, you were sent to teach me so much.<br />
I have to learn to let go of my fears.<br />
Take a deep breath − give myself over to God.<br />
Accept where He takes me, what He gives me.<br />
Yes, little grasshopper,<br />
now I know why<br />
you came into my space.<br />
~ 34 ~
The Horseradish<br />
‘Horseradish’<br />
What a strange name!<br />
OK radish<br />
But horse!<br />
It doesn’t look like a horse,<br />
Sound like one,<br />
Move like one.<br />
It makes no sense.<br />
But so many things in life<br />
Don’t make sense<br />
So why should ‘horse radish’<br />
Well,<br />
I suppose a radish <strong>with</strong> a sore throat<br />
Could be called ‘hoarse’!<br />
~ 35 ~
A Very Contented Snail<br />
Hi, my name is Squirly<br />
and I am a very contented snail.<br />
You ask me why?<br />
Well I will show you.<br />
C<strong>ome</strong> into my world,<br />
see it from my eyes.<br />
No house to pay for −<br />
mine came free at birth.<br />
No need for central heating −<br />
I find a warm compost heap.<br />
No air conditioning needed −<br />
I laze under a shady bush.<br />
No h<strong>ome</strong> maintenance,<br />
no plumbing leaks,<br />
power cuts or decorating.<br />
I don’t even need to plant my own food,<br />
go shopping nor earn a living.<br />
Fed up <strong>with</strong> location!<br />
I just up and go,<br />
no packing cases,<br />
no removal vans.<br />
~ 36 ~
I tell you,<br />
it’s one heck of a life<br />
and I enjoy every m<strong>ome</strong>nt.<br />
Ok, maybe you get mad at me<br />
when I find your cabbages so delicious,<br />
but I am just doing what a snail<br />
was created to do!<br />
But it’s not all peace in my world.<br />
Birds love us for lunch<br />
and you people<br />
never look where you tread,<br />
but all in all<br />
it’s great being a snail<br />
leading <strong>the</strong> simple life.<br />
~ 37 ~
A Light so bright<br />
no eyes could <strong>with</strong>stand its intensity.<br />
A milliard sparks to form <strong>the</strong> universe<br />
taken from His candle
Take this Pen<br />
Oh, let my heart open<br />
that Your knowing<br />
can bec<strong>ome</strong> my thoughts.<br />
Let me see through <strong>the</strong> illusions<br />
of form, to grasp <strong>the</strong> gossamer<br />
threads of truth.<br />
Take this pen in my hand<br />
and let it write of Your glory,<br />
tell of Your miracles<br />
in every m<strong>ome</strong>nt of existence.<br />
But can I, a mortal,<br />
bec<strong>ome</strong> a partner in Your design?<br />
~ 41 ~
Dancing on <strong>the</strong> Pages<br />
Letters,<br />
like musical notes,<br />
fall earthwards<br />
from heavenly harps.<br />
I feel <strong>the</strong>ir energy<br />
stir my soul<br />
and allow my pen<br />
to touch paper.<br />
Ink flows,<br />
forming words<br />
in a poetic dance<br />
to bec<strong>ome</strong> part<br />
of God’s divine creation.<br />
My mind cannot create<br />
such beauty!<br />
I can only be a conduit<br />
from <strong>the</strong> Source beyond knowing;<br />
<strong>the</strong> treasure chest of limitless inspiration.<br />
~ 42 ~
Without Thought<br />
The whole world is a mosaic<br />
of sounds and colours<br />
to capture <strong>the</strong> imagination.<br />
But it is not <strong>the</strong>se that stir my heart to write.<br />
S<strong>ome</strong>thing far deeper fills me <strong>with</strong> emotion<br />
that cries to escape and embrace <strong>the</strong> world.<br />
So, as I put pen to paper,<br />
<strong>the</strong> words just flow <strong>with</strong>out thought<br />
as if, s<strong>ome</strong>where beyond my mind,<br />
lies a wellspring of song that I tap into.<br />
Do I know what I am writing?<br />
Do I plan <strong>the</strong> lines?<br />
No, it has already been written in Heaven<br />
just waiting to be brought down to earth.<br />
~ 43 ~
Orchestra of Angels<br />
Seated in <strong>the</strong> Heavens<br />
<strong>the</strong>y play <strong>the</strong> magical instruments of joy,<br />
a symphony of <strong>the</strong> Creator<br />
waiting to be heard <strong>by</strong> all mankind.<br />
Do we ever listen to this melody,<br />
tune into <strong>the</strong> orchestra of angels,<br />
allow <strong>the</strong>ir music to enter<br />
<strong>the</strong> vaults of our hearts?<br />
How can such discord exist in our world?<br />
So many musical notes, floating unheard,<br />
waft in <strong>the</strong> winds of war and destruction.<br />
Can mankind recreate <strong>the</strong> symphony<br />
of peace and harmony,<br />
sing <strong>the</strong> Creator’s songs,<br />
dance to <strong>the</strong> sounds of <strong>the</strong> falling rain,<br />
<strong>the</strong> rustle of leaves?<br />
We each have our own unique notes<br />
to unite Heaven and earth<br />
in perfect harmony.<br />
~ 44 ~
Here is <strong>the</strong> Key<br />
Behind an ancient rusty gate,<br />
hidden behind tangled brambles,<br />
lies <strong>the</strong> garden of my soul.<br />
Here is <strong>the</strong> key,<br />
I will lead you <strong>the</strong>re –<br />
little steps<br />
gentle pace<br />
no rush.<br />
It is <strong>the</strong>re for eternity;<br />
an oasis of tranquility.<br />
~ 45 ~
Cosmic Balance<br />
I float through life,<br />
dancing its twists and turns,<br />
giving − taking,<br />
coalescing into an amazing whole:<br />
<strong>the</strong> symphony of my soul,<br />
painted in <strong>the</strong> archives of creation.<br />
My joys and pains, laughter and tears,<br />
my days and nights, successes and failures<br />
all forming one destiny,<br />
veiled in <strong>the</strong> mysteries of cosmic balance.<br />
~ 46 ~
So Fragile<br />
There was a breeze,<br />
so gentle that it almost went unnoticed.<br />
So many have blown across my path,<br />
unseen, unfelt;<br />
lost inspirations and journeys never begun.<br />
Only in silence could my ears<br />
tune into <strong>the</strong> Divine and capture<br />
those fleeting m<strong>ome</strong>nts of connection.<br />
So fragile – so illusive,<br />
yet in that flash of knowing<br />
is <strong>the</strong> knowledge<br />
that, when I am confused and trembling,<br />
love and joy<br />
from <strong>the</strong> shimmering Light above<br />
are always <strong>the</strong>re around me.<br />
All I need do, is reach out<br />
and pull back <strong>the</strong> veil.<br />
.<br />
~ 47 ~
His Presence<br />
He pulls me through <strong>the</strong> dark,<br />
unlocks closed doors,<br />
opens curtained windows.<br />
Guides me<br />
past sleeping dogs,<br />
over bridges,<br />
through tunnels,<br />
never speaking – never slowing.<br />
<strong>Me</strong>smerized into acceptance,<br />
His presence felt<br />
only through my knowing.<br />
In times of joy,<br />
in times of pain,<br />
He is always <strong>the</strong>re.<br />
~ 48 ~
To Drink from His Gifts<br />
Cool fresh water gushes forth,<br />
HaShem’s light to cleanse my soul;<br />
a spring, hidden from view<br />
covered in layers of concealment.<br />
It quenches my thirst,<br />
fires my desires.<br />
I ba<strong>the</strong> in its purity<br />
unpolluted <strong>by</strong> man’s thoughts.<br />
I feel its coolness sustaining me<br />
in times of doubt and confusion.<br />
With my vessel open<br />
I can always drink from His gifts<br />
and fill my heart <strong>with</strong> amazement.<br />
~ 49 ~
My Soul Has a Voice<br />
Deep inside me,<br />
silence shines like a light<br />
throughout my being –<br />
beyond dreams,<br />
beyond knowing.<br />
Yet in that quiet<br />
my soul has a voice,<br />
words of wisdom<br />
thoughts of joy.<br />
No pain,<br />
no complaining,<br />
just a pure<br />
infinite source of love.<br />
~ 50 ~
Oasis of Tranquility<br />
I hear <strong>the</strong> noise of traffic<br />
yet my mind is in a deep, profound silence<br />
in <strong>the</strong> garden of my soul.<br />
I am at <strong>the</strong> centre of my being,<br />
I encompass <strong>the</strong> universe.<br />
I am <strong>the</strong> energy of crashing waves,<br />
of mighty rivers and gentle streams,<br />
as grounded as <strong>the</strong> base of a mountain,<br />
reaching heavenwards as <strong>the</strong> highest peak.<br />
The joy of being, of knowing,<br />
swirls like a blue mist around me.<br />
I fade into insignificance.<br />
I burst forth as blossom in spring.<br />
I’m at peace <strong>with</strong> myself,<br />
<strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> world.<br />
~ 51 ~
At <strong>the</strong> Kotel<br />
Incessant background chattering.<br />
Scraping sounds as chairs are shifted.<br />
A woman stops next to me,<br />
dials her cell phone,<br />
carries on an excited conversation.<br />
How can I concentrate on my prayers?<br />
I close my eyes.<br />
A breeze cools my over heated body<br />
and I am alone in <strong>the</strong> ancient Temple,<br />
moving silently into <strong>the</strong> Holy of Holies.<br />
I stand before <strong>the</strong> Ark of <strong>the</strong> Covenant<br />
and for a m<strong>ome</strong>nt<br />
<strong>the</strong>re is nothing but me,<br />
melted into <strong>the</strong> oneness of <strong>the</strong> Creator,<br />
my prayers no longer words,<br />
my love all encompassing.<br />
~ 52 ~
A Moonless Night<br />
Time of introspection –<br />
no light to reflect my image,<br />
only a glow emanating<br />
from my soul.<br />
How hard to accept simplicity,<br />
be true to myself.<br />
No acting out ano<strong>the</strong>r’s dreams,<br />
no pretence of being s<strong>ome</strong>one else.<br />
Only me,<br />
in all innocence,<br />
hidden in <strong>the</strong> misty cloud<br />
of <strong>the</strong> unknown.<br />
~ 53 ~
Born to Dance<br />
Music flows through my limbs<br />
<strong>with</strong> such intensity, taking<br />
me to places<br />
beyond physical<br />
and emotional pain.<br />
I could fly across oceans,<br />
soar over mountain peaks<br />
as I take off in ecstatic motion.<br />
Ba<strong>the</strong>d in <strong>the</strong> caressing rhythms<br />
of joyous light, streaming from above,<br />
my dance bec<strong>ome</strong>s a prayer of gratitude.<br />
~ 54 ~
A Particle of Dust<br />
I am a tiniest speck of being,<br />
no more than a particle of dust,<br />
imperceptible in <strong>the</strong> vastness<br />
of <strong>the</strong> universe.<br />
Yet I am unique.<br />
No one else is like me,<br />
never was,<br />
never will be again.<br />
My consciousness encompasses<br />
<strong>the</strong> moon, <strong>the</strong> stars,<br />
<strong>the</strong> oceans and rivers;<br />
all of creation.<br />
My soul is as radiant<br />
as <strong>the</strong> light from Heaven,<br />
no boundaries,<br />
no beginnings,<br />
no ends,<br />
eternal.<br />
~ 55 ~
Our Umbilical Cord<br />
Do we ever stop a m<strong>ome</strong>nt<br />
to connect to our Source,<br />
sense His presence<br />
as we dance through our dreams?<br />
Hold His hand<br />
as we walk <strong>the</strong> tight-rope of life,<br />
feel His arms<br />
around us when in pain?<br />
Listen to <strong>the</strong> echo of His voice<br />
as He soo<strong>the</strong>s our anger,<br />
hear <strong>the</strong> whispers of our destiny<br />
in our minds?<br />
He is <strong>by</strong> our side at every m<strong>ome</strong>nt;<br />
a friend, a shadow, pure love −<br />
our umbilical cord to <strong>the</strong> river of creation.<br />
~ 56 ~
To Bask in His Glory<br />
HaShem,<br />
Speak to us,<br />
Guide us.<br />
Let Your forgiveness emanate from our hearts,<br />
Your wisdom speak through our lips,<br />
Your compassion radiate through our smiles,<br />
Your Light shine in our eyes.<br />
Your creativity seep through our fingertips.<br />
So many parts of <strong>the</strong> human form<br />
to express Your love,<br />
bring joy and harmony between peoples,<br />
take Your creation to its highest level<br />
and bask in <strong>the</strong> glory of Your desire.<br />
~ 57 ~
It Can Only Be Good<br />
I begin to write.<br />
A bizarre saga of bewilderment,<br />
pain and helplessness<br />
melts into one m<strong>ome</strong>nt of truth –<br />
knowing that I am not in control<br />
nor have any idea<br />
of what <strong>the</strong> universe is planning.<br />
All I can do, is to give everything over to HaShem<br />
and believe that all is ‘perfect as is.’<br />
Tears of gratitude gush from deep <strong>with</strong>in<br />
as my love flies across <strong>the</strong> oceans<br />
to all those involved in helping my son<br />
so far away from h<strong>ome</strong>.<br />
It is a story where I have grown so much<br />
and am ready to face whatever will happen<br />
<strong>with</strong> trust − for when all <strong>the</strong>re is, is love,<br />
and all <strong>the</strong>re is, is God<br />
<strong>the</strong>n it can only be good.<br />
Written during <strong>the</strong> saga of my son’s traffic<br />
accident on a remote island of Indonesia.<br />
~ 58 ~
Love<br />
Let us see <strong>the</strong> Divine in all human beings,<br />
know <strong>the</strong>re is a spark of purity in every soul.<br />
Open our hearts to give unconditionally,<br />
never expecting anything in return.<br />
Validate ano<strong>the</strong>r’s feelings,<br />
empathize and never judge.<br />
Express our deepest connection to God,<br />
for how can we love ourselves<br />
if we cannot love God,<br />
and if we cannot love ourselves<br />
<strong>the</strong>n how can we know love for ano<strong>the</strong>r?<br />
~ 59 ~
Can I let go of all <strong>the</strong> building bricks<br />
that have made me who I am.<br />
Bec<strong>ome</strong> as nothing.<br />
Re-create myself<br />
from a place<br />
of truth?
There in <strong>the</strong> corner of my life<br />
sits an old wizened sage<br />
whose face reflects<br />
<strong>the</strong> spirit of God,<br />
wise, humble<br />
full of grace.<br />
Oh how I wish<br />
I could draw<br />
him into my heart,<br />
absorb his wonder,<br />
radiate his warmth,<br />
adopt all that he stands for<br />
but my ego blocks him out<br />
so <strong>the</strong>re, in <strong>the</strong> corner of my life,<br />
he patiently awaits my beckoning.<br />
~ 63 ~
I feel empty − closed,<br />
Your Divine Light hidden.<br />
Where are those crystals in my heart<br />
that once shone forth to <strong>the</strong> world?<br />
Their song has been sung.<br />
No more joy emits from <strong>the</strong>ir glow.<br />
I was so near<br />
yet just could not hold on.<br />
How can I bring back <strong>the</strong>ir vibrations?<br />
Feel <strong>the</strong> life force surge through my veins.<br />
But helplessness grabs hold of me.<br />
The Yetzer Hara has won <strong>the</strong> battle.<br />
His horsemen ride in triumph,<br />
my soul trampled under <strong>the</strong>ir horse’s hooves.<br />
Oh my Creator!<br />
You are my source of life.<br />
Give me <strong>the</strong> strength<br />
to fight my inner darkness.<br />
Guide me once more<br />
through <strong>the</strong> door to Your Palace.<br />
~ 64 ~
Snow clouds skim<br />
across <strong>the</strong> darkening sky,<br />
chased <strong>by</strong> a howling wind.<br />
Nowhere to hide,<br />
destination unknown.<br />
I shudder as I am caught<br />
in <strong>the</strong>ir turmoil.<br />
My heart pounds against my ribs,<br />
echoing <strong>the</strong> approaching storm.<br />
Yet stillness prevails;<br />
an all encompassing quiet<br />
stirs s<strong>ome</strong>thing deep in my soul.<br />
An awareness that<br />
I, too, am fleeing, urged on<br />
<strong>by</strong> a voice inside,<br />
afraid to take a m<strong>ome</strong>nt of solitude.<br />
Can I ignore <strong>the</strong> storm?<br />
Go a place of tranquility<br />
and discover each unique snowflake<br />
that hides in my heart?<br />
~ 65 ~
Here is my pen,<br />
<strong>the</strong> paper ready to receive.<br />
Emotions and wonders<br />
cry to be expressed,<br />
but where are <strong>the</strong> words?<br />
I am frozen.<br />
Locked into my own little world<br />
of insecurity and fear.<br />
So much beauty and power<br />
awaits expression;<br />
a symphony of Divine Creation.<br />
But I taunt myself <strong>with</strong> only glimpses<br />
of Your Light that I fleetingly allow<br />
to penetrate <strong>the</strong> mist.<br />
~ 66 ~
My thoughts are entangled in a spider’s web.<br />
Inspiration clouded <strong>by</strong> a suffocating fog.<br />
What happened to my connection<br />
<strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> treasure chest of creativity?<br />
How can I reclaim those sparks of inspiration?<br />
I need let go of trying<br />
to break through <strong>the</strong> stifling silt,<br />
allow my river to find its own course.<br />
If I put pen to paper,<br />
perhaps only sadness would flow <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> ink,<br />
words too heavy <strong>with</strong> all my dark emotions.<br />
Or, may be words of bliss will bubble forth,<br />
as if I were dancing on a rainbow,<br />
full of joyful celebration.<br />
~ 67 ~
A piece of white parchment<br />
aches to be covered <strong>with</strong> words –<br />
but I have none.<br />
I feel its emptiness, its sadness,<br />
yet how to record my feelings,<br />
open wounds so painstakingly closed off?<br />
I have built prison walls;<br />
no means of re-surfacing<br />
into my conscious awareness.<br />
They are safe <strong>the</strong>re.<br />
I can go on <strong>with</strong> my life.<br />
Yet in my dreams<br />
<strong>the</strong> haunting memories replay <strong>the</strong>ir pain.<br />
So here, empty parchment,<br />
I will let my pen<br />
write from my heart.<br />
Will you be strong enough to receive<br />
all <strong>the</strong> traumas of <strong>the</strong> past?<br />
Can you contain <strong>the</strong> tears<br />
accompanying each word?<br />
Maybe, between you and me,<br />
a healing will take place.<br />
~ 68 ~
I stir fry my words<br />
of anger, sadness and pain.<br />
Add a shake of spices,<br />
a few chopped herbs.<br />
They sizzle and groan,<br />
seem too powerful,<br />
maybe even cruel.<br />
No! I want no part of this.<br />
I need a virgin creation<br />
from a place of divine inspiration.<br />
No fry up of meaningless animations.<br />
I want my words to echo<br />
to <strong>the</strong> song of <strong>the</strong> mountain,<br />
vibrate <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> waterfall,<br />
rustle in unison <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> autumn leaves.<br />
So turn off <strong>the</strong> flame,<br />
remove <strong>the</strong> wok,<br />
start again<br />
<strong>with</strong> fresh ingredients.<br />
~ 69 ~
Open a window<br />
I can’t brea<strong>the</strong>!<br />
The darkness stifles me.<br />
I want to scream<br />
but my yell c<strong>ome</strong>s out as a whisper.<br />
My limbs are locked into a spasm of despair.<br />
I am isolated,<br />
imprisoned in my own cell<br />
<strong>with</strong> myself as <strong>the</strong> jailer.<br />
Yet <strong>the</strong>re are no walls,<br />
no shutters need to be opened.<br />
Light infuses my whole being<br />
and my body can move<br />
as freely as <strong>the</strong> leopard,<br />
leaping across <strong>the</strong> plain.<br />
The key to my freedom<br />
lies <strong>with</strong>in reach<br />
but I cannot, dare not grasp it.<br />
I am just too afraid to be myself.<br />
~ 70 ~
I’m groping for a strong foothold<br />
but all I’m doing is slipping and sliding<br />
in <strong>the</strong> same old mud hole,<br />
churning it up but unable to get out.<br />
A voice screams –<br />
“Get out of your mind.<br />
Open <strong>the</strong> door to your beautiful self.<br />
Don’t be frightened.<br />
Nothing can harm you<br />
when you listen to your heart.<br />
It is a pure, shining light<br />
and can guide you <strong>with</strong> great wisdom.<br />
Not <strong>the</strong> loud pounding words of desire,<br />
but <strong>the</strong> voice’ that you will hear<br />
when your mind is emptied<br />
of all <strong>the</strong> nonsense and trivialities<br />
that now fills every corner.<br />
Then you will no longer feel<br />
that you are drowning in <strong>the</strong> mud.<br />
You will be free to fly on <strong>the</strong> wind.”<br />
~ 71 ~
Corridors of my life –<br />
so many doors to be opened,<br />
yet I freeze at every one.<br />
I panic − heart races − stomach in knots<br />
"No not this one!"<br />
I walk on.<br />
Keep going – no stopping.<br />
I reach a dead end,<br />
nowhere to go.<br />
Feeling helpless<br />
I give up <strong>the</strong> struggle.<br />
A door appears − opens <strong>by</strong> itself<br />
displaying <strong>the</strong> tangled thoughts<br />
of my mind.<br />
A silent scream!<br />
My hands reach out to take hold of my faith.<br />
I walk boldly forwards.<br />
~ 72 ~
I have misplaced <strong>the</strong> key −<br />
no, I have hidden it from my heart.<br />
It is <strong>the</strong> key to my knowing.<br />
Why do I block my happiness?<br />
If I knew <strong>the</strong> secret,<br />
my soul would be freed from its prison.<br />
I would soar on <strong>the</strong> wind,<br />
dance <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> swaying trees,<br />
express my love for <strong>the</strong> Creator<br />
<strong>with</strong> every fibre of my being.<br />
Every cell would reflect His Light.<br />
Sublime words would flow through my lips.<br />
But I dare not expose myself to this ecstasy.<br />
How could I contain its power?<br />
I have <strong>the</strong> tools<br />
but am just too afraid to use <strong>the</strong>m.<br />
~ 73 ~
I put <strong>the</strong> key into <strong>the</strong> lock,<br />
yet dare I open <strong>the</strong> door?<br />
What will I find beyond this barrier?<br />
But is <strong>the</strong> door a reality<br />
or just my mind’s own creation,<br />
a protection from knowing myself<br />
locked so many years ago?<br />
Today I am wiser,<br />
have greater courage.<br />
Yet is my trust in <strong>the</strong> Creator<br />
strong enough to combat my fear?<br />
The door creeks,<br />
a musty smell hangs in <strong>the</strong> air;<br />
cobwebs and dust of my past.<br />
A light appears in <strong>the</strong> far corner of <strong>the</strong> room,<br />
draws me towards itself,<br />
and I see a smiling child – myself so long ago.<br />
I open my arms,<br />
she runs up to me.<br />
We hug, united <strong>with</strong> unconditional acceptance<br />
after so many years of separation.<br />
~ 74 ~
I cannot let go!<br />
I need to hold tight onto my imaginary life-line;<br />
<strong>the</strong> ‘me’ <strong>with</strong> whom I am so familiar<br />
<strong>with</strong> all her fears, pains, failures,<br />
judgments and criticisms.<br />
How would it be<br />
if I just floated down <strong>the</strong> river of life<br />
<strong>with</strong>out all <strong>the</strong> handholds<br />
that I have built into <strong>the</strong> river bank?<br />
I can sense it would be a journey<br />
<strong>with</strong> a trust so strong,<br />
that I would no longer dread <strong>the</strong> unknown,<br />
no longer fear a metamorphosed ‘me’<br />
that is now so illusive.<br />
I know she is <strong>the</strong>re in <strong>the</strong> background,<br />
yearning to emerge from her concealment.<br />
~ 75 ~
As a child <strong>the</strong>re was a force<br />
deep <strong>with</strong>in my core,<br />
a fire burning so powerfully,<br />
exploding into myriad stars<br />
of love and joy –<br />
an endless vessel of desires.<br />
But now <strong>the</strong> embers smolder<br />
in painful recognition<br />
of what <strong>the</strong>y could have bec<strong>ome</strong>.<br />
They patiently wait for me<br />
to find <strong>the</strong> courage<br />
to allow shafts of air to rush in<br />
and re-kindle <strong>the</strong> flames.<br />
So much creative energy<br />
is crying to be released.<br />
My whole being could again<br />
be filled <strong>with</strong> passion,<br />
and who knows to where I could fly.<br />
~ 76 ~
I search <strong>the</strong> seas<br />
Sail my ship across <strong>the</strong> oceans<br />
Look into o<strong>the</strong>rs eyes<br />
Steal <strong>the</strong>ir treasures<br />
But I cannot find my truth.<br />
How many years will I spend on my journey?<br />
No peace, no stopping,<br />
on and on I drive myself<br />
searching for s<strong>ome</strong>thing I know is <strong>the</strong>re.<br />
Great treasures already captured<br />
but still I find no peace.<br />
In my mind I see a chest<br />
and slowly open <strong>the</strong> lid.<br />
Nothing!<br />
But in <strong>the</strong> stillness of <strong>the</strong> emptiness<br />
I hear a gentle voice.<br />
“I am your treasure, I am your truth.<br />
You have only to ask and listen.<br />
Capture <strong>the</strong> gossamer thread of wisdom<br />
that you hear before your mind steps in.”<br />
~ 77 ~
The clouds part<br />
and for a m<strong>ome</strong>nt I see <strong>the</strong> sun.<br />
Life feels good,<br />
my heart fills <strong>with</strong> song,<br />
a dance is choreographed <strong>with</strong>in my soul.<br />
I have c<strong>ome</strong> back into <strong>the</strong> world of Light.<br />
But a voice of pain and deep-seated fear<br />
cries out from <strong>with</strong>in.<br />
“Remember me?<br />
Don’t abandon your shadow,<br />
I am <strong>the</strong> real you.<br />
It is not safe to be so open and free.”<br />
It pulls, coerces.<br />
I fight but in <strong>the</strong> end I accede<br />
and <strong>the</strong> blue sky disappears<br />
behind a mountain of blackened thunderclouds.<br />
I crumple into a bundle of grey nothingness,<br />
aware of <strong>the</strong> joy that I am capable of feeling<br />
but cannot find <strong>the</strong> courage to hold on to.<br />
~ 78 ~
It hits me like a flood –<br />
one fearful thought has managed to escape<br />
<strong>the</strong> net and explode into <strong>the</strong> physical.<br />
I try to fight it.<br />
“Relax, think of s<strong>ome</strong>thing pleasurable”<br />
but it is too late, <strong>the</strong> floodgates have opened;<br />
churning stomach – pounding heart<br />
all <strong>the</strong> pain of an anxiety attack.<br />
Yet, <strong>with</strong>in <strong>the</strong> torture I inflict on myself,<br />
I hear a small voice.<br />
“Go <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> tide,<br />
take its full force<br />
you cannot hold back <strong>the</strong> waters”<br />
I silently speak to this unrelenting power.<br />
“C<strong>ome</strong> on, show me how much stronger you can get.<br />
Give me more.<br />
You can do better than that!”<br />
Suddenly s<strong>ome</strong>thing strange happens.<br />
The storm abates instead of overwhelming me.<br />
A state of calm returns.<br />
~ 79 ~
An empty pot sits on <strong>the</strong> stove,<br />
its emptiness a space for hope.<br />
For how can a new adventure begin<br />
if it were still filled <strong>with</strong> yesterday’s vegetables?<br />
No space for change!<br />
No space for growth!<br />
Now it waits in anticipation.<br />
May be an exotic stew or delicate apple sauce?<br />
So many possibilities present in its nakedness.<br />
If only I could emulate this pot.<br />
Cleanse myself from yesterday’s leftovers.<br />
Create a space for God’s wisdom.<br />
To merge <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> pot’s emptiness<br />
could be so simple, yet so hard to do!<br />
~ 80 ~
I will not delve into my pain!<br />
I will not let darkness enter my stage!<br />
Now my play will be one of beauty,<br />
no more depression, anger and fear.<br />
Only joy and love will be portrayed.<br />
Excited I will awaken each morning,<br />
a smile etched on my face,<br />
my eyes shining <strong>with</strong> passion for life.<br />
I will flow graciously down my river,<br />
grateful for wherever it takes me.<br />
What an amazing performance it could be!<br />
And all this is possible −<br />
<strong>the</strong> key is here in my mind.<br />
My thoughts are really capable<br />
of creating such positive emotions.<br />
So why write a script of sadness and despair<br />
when I hold <strong>the</strong> power<br />
to bring myself to a different reality?<br />
~ 81 ~
Where is my song hiding?<br />
I feel so closed, so cold.<br />
I languish in a quagmire<br />
of tangled thoughts and emotions<br />
trying to bec<strong>ome</strong> <strong>the</strong> person<br />
my intellect tells me I should be.<br />
Oh spirit, c<strong>ome</strong> out of your closet.<br />
Let me hear your transcendent voice,<br />
understand your words of wisdom.<br />
Let me enter <strong>the</strong> celestial chambers of my heart.<br />
A silent voice screams from <strong>with</strong>in −<br />
“Just Be!<br />
Life can be so simple.<br />
See <strong>the</strong> Creator’s hand<br />
in every m<strong>ome</strong>nt of life.”<br />
I open my eyes,<br />
tune into <strong>the</strong> sounds of nature,<br />
listen to <strong>the</strong> unspoken words<br />
of <strong>the</strong> rustling leaves,<br />
let go of attachments<br />
and <strong>the</strong> need to be in control.<br />
Now <strong>the</strong> song of my soul<br />
<strong>with</strong> its own unique notes<br />
can be free, in all its glory,<br />
to join <strong>the</strong> orchestra of creation.<br />
~ 82 ~
Am I seeking to return<br />
to my place of safety?<br />
No, I am leaving that behind.<br />
Now I want to fly −<br />
spread my wings to encompass <strong>the</strong> earth<br />
as a pulsating light bursting forth.<br />
I want to capture creation in all its beauty,<br />
share <strong>the</strong> amazement felt<br />
at every m<strong>ome</strong>nt of connection,<br />
and never again sink back<br />
into <strong>the</strong> shadow of my existence.<br />
~ 83 ~
The beauty<br />
in an artistic creation<br />
will be lost unless shared <strong>with</strong> o<strong>the</strong>rs.<br />
A diamond<br />
kept hidden away in a safe<br />
might just as well be a black stone<br />
if its essence is never revealed.
Soft Grey Clay<br />
Potter’s tools.<br />
A block of soft, grey clay.<br />
Can I transform this lifeless lump<br />
into an object of beauty and spirit?<br />
My fingers begin to knead aimlessly,<br />
sensing <strong>the</strong> smooth, malleable texture,<br />
wondering what it will bec<strong>ome</strong>.<br />
My photo, dancing as a child,<br />
c<strong>ome</strong>s to mind.<br />
Can I capture my exhilaration<br />
as I took that leap?<br />
Am I capable of creating<br />
such a graceful figure?<br />
My hands connect to a place deep <strong>with</strong>in,<br />
open <strong>the</strong> gate to HaShem’s creative Light.<br />
Slowly my lump of clay takes on a human form.<br />
Delicate limbs, movement, poise.<br />
Even my ballet dress takes shape!<br />
I am <strong>with</strong>in <strong>the</strong> folds of clay,<br />
breathing its energy,<br />
till I release my hands<br />
and gaze in amazement!<br />
~ 87 ~
Virgin Canvas<br />
Pot of brushes, tubes of paint,<br />
a sheet of blank paper that looks back at me<br />
as I stare at its emptiness −<br />
“Take a chance,” I hear.<br />
“Choose any brush, dip it in any colour.<br />
Just let it dance across <strong>the</strong> paper<br />
and see where it will take you.”<br />
I squeeze one colour after ano<strong>the</strong>r onto my palette.<br />
An unseen hand seems to guide my brush<br />
as vibrant colours streak across <strong>the</strong> canvas.<br />
Oh, <strong>the</strong> ecstasy of creativity!<br />
~ 88 ~
And <strong>the</strong>n I Remembered<br />
Black, star studded sky,<br />
my favorite music playing,<br />
secluded hotel balcony<br />
facing <strong>the</strong> Dead Sea.<br />
What more could I ask for?<br />
I begin to dance −<br />
leaping, twirling,<br />
filled <strong>with</strong> ecstasy.<br />
And <strong>the</strong>n I remember my mo<strong>the</strong>r,<br />
suffering from Alzheimer’s disease.<br />
Her pains, fears and confusion,<br />
her constant need for my reassurance<br />
and here I am, in a state of joy,<br />
whilst her world is crumbling around her.<br />
My heart opens,<br />
tears flow as never before.<br />
My love for her, at this m<strong>ome</strong>nt<br />
reaches a place beyond time and space.<br />
She is in my arms, sharing my dance.<br />
~ 89 ~
Eternal Love<br />
A world washed <strong>with</strong> tears;<br />
my world in all its sadness,<br />
a mo<strong>the</strong>r lost – friend, teacher,<br />
never to be replaced.<br />
Your soul is now united <strong>with</strong> its Creator,<br />
flying on His wings,<br />
free from suffering and fears.<br />
Do I really want you drawn back<br />
into this illusion of reality<br />
just for my comfort?<br />
Tears flow when I remember <strong>the</strong> love I felt<br />
as I watched over your frail body.<br />
You lay so still, so helpless,<br />
yet our souls touched in a place of great beauty,<br />
a place beyond pain and despair.<br />
I knew you were not coming back to us,<br />
it was only a matter of time,<br />
but time stood still<br />
as I stroked your shrunken frame.<br />
I felt such a yearning<br />
to embrace you <strong>with</strong> my whole being,<br />
~ 90 ~
to absorb your wisdom<br />
that I had never acknowledged,<br />
and to cherish your life<br />
lived <strong>with</strong> only your family in mind.<br />
Mum, I have always loved you<br />
but <strong>the</strong> love that I felt during those last days<br />
went beyond time and space,<br />
beyond words and mortal expression.<br />
An eternal love of two souls.<br />
~ 91 ~
Welc<strong>ome</strong><br />
Welc<strong>ome</strong> little one<br />
into <strong>the</strong> reality of this world.<br />
Your physical body,<br />
a tiny form for your pure soul to use<br />
on its voyage throughout this lifetime.<br />
No one knows where your journey will take you.<br />
Only your deepest knowing has this truth.<br />
May you always connect to this awareness<br />
that will keep you on <strong>the</strong> path of righteousness.<br />
May your heart overflow <strong>with</strong> love<br />
for <strong>the</strong> Creator.<br />
May His light always shine from your eyes<br />
to bring joy to all around you.<br />
I bless you, little ba<strong>by</strong>,<br />
<strong>with</strong> an abundance of goodness<br />
to see you on your way.<br />
~ 92 ~
Do Not Feel Sad for <strong>Me</strong><br />
When I leave this world,<br />
please do not feel sad for me,<br />
for I will be <strong>with</strong> God, <strong>with</strong>in His Holy Light,<br />
my soul flowing freely across time.<br />
My perilous journey through this lifetime<br />
will have reached its destination,<br />
my body no longer needed.<br />
The pain you feel,<br />
<strong>the</strong> tears rising up<br />
from deep <strong>with</strong>in your heart<br />
are for <strong>the</strong> loss of <strong>the</strong> presence<br />
of my physical form.<br />
You cry because my laughter<br />
no longer fills your heart,<br />
my smile no longer brightens your day.<br />
Exchange your sorrow for thanksgiving.<br />
Thank HaShem for <strong>the</strong> gift he lent you<br />
for all those years.<br />
Please do not feel sad for me.<br />
Listen to <strong>the</strong> birds.<br />
Drink in <strong>the</strong> beauty and fragrances<br />
of all <strong>the</strong> flowers that carpet <strong>the</strong> earth.<br />
Enjoy God’s gifts of life<br />
until He will carry you across <strong>the</strong> river<br />
to be <strong>by</strong> my side once again.<br />
~ 93 ~
I Won’t Give Up<br />
Oh my computer,<br />
you are taking over my life!<br />
I can’t let go.<br />
I could simply turn you off<br />
but I am hooked.<br />
What happened to <strong>the</strong> masterpiece<br />
I am working on?<br />
It just disappeared.<br />
Press this key − <strong>the</strong>n ano<strong>the</strong>r and ano<strong>the</strong>r.<br />
Now black screen No sound<br />
Stomach turns s<strong>ome</strong>rsaults.<br />
Keep rebooting.<br />
A message – sigh of relief<br />
till I read what it says,<br />
‘Volume not recognized.’<br />
I scour my computer books,<br />
phone <strong>the</strong> technician,<br />
try everything he suggests.<br />
I won’t give up<br />
but <strong>by</strong> three o’clock in <strong>the</strong> morning<br />
sleep overpowers.<br />
~ 94 ~
A new day.<br />
I keep trying<br />
but in <strong>the</strong> end I accede defeat.<br />
The technician arrives.<br />
Says he has to take you away;<br />
“It will take a few days”<br />
You are gone – I am lost,<br />
my fingers yearning to dance<br />
on your keyboard.<br />
You return.<br />
Such happiness – or is it?<br />
Again I am out of control,<br />
hours in front of <strong>the</strong> screen – your slave.<br />
But how can I let you,<br />
a mere machine, be my master?<br />
Click ‘Turn Off’ and you are nothing.<br />
But oh,<br />
such a hard thing to do!<br />
~ 95 ~
Choices<br />
Black shoes?<br />
No, I asked for <strong>the</strong> brown!<br />
“We don’t have your size in brown,<br />
only in black or beige.”<br />
The saleslady brings both.<br />
“I also have this different style in brown.”<br />
Dilemma – I like <strong>the</strong>m all.<br />
So which ones to buy?<br />
Panic –<br />
My stomach knots,<br />
I feel sick,<br />
must get out of <strong>the</strong> shop.<br />
Leave <strong>the</strong> decision for ano<strong>the</strong>r day.<br />
I don’t really need new shoes,<br />
<strong>the</strong> old will do −<br />
but <strong>the</strong>y hurt and are shab<strong>by</strong>.<br />
So buy a new pair.<br />
But which?<br />
Back to <strong>the</strong> shop.<br />
“Why not take all three?<br />
I can give you a discount.”<br />
~ 96 ~
Oh no! that just adds ano<strong>the</strong>r choice;<br />
brown – black – beige − all three and save money.<br />
But I don’t need three!<br />
So choose one.<br />
Stomach knots again,<br />
I have to get away – no decision.<br />
Yet ‘no decision’ is also a choice.<br />
Now I have five possibilities!<br />
Help!<br />
So make up your mind and stick to it.<br />
Close your eyes.<br />
Ask yourself what you really want.<br />
Catch that quietest first reply<br />
before all o<strong>the</strong>r thoughts rush in.<br />
I ask − I listen<br />
“The brown,”<br />
But what about <strong>the</strong> black, beige or all three!<br />
No, I silently reply.<br />
I buy <strong>the</strong> brown.<br />
~ 97 ~
Patience<br />
Why can’t she make up her mind?<br />
She’s driving me crazy!<br />
How many shoes does she need to try on?<br />
Is she going to be here all day?<br />
Can I see those ones too?<br />
My patience is rapidly ebbing −<br />
“Ok, I will check if we have you size.”<br />
Up <strong>the</strong> ladder again.<br />
My poor aging knees!<br />
“Here you are my dear.<br />
Yes? You like <strong>the</strong>m?”<br />
I pray silently to not strangle her if she says NO.<br />
I like <strong>the</strong>m all.<br />
I just can’t decide which ones to buy.<br />
She can’t decide − She likes <strong>the</strong>m all!<br />
Why didn’t she just buy <strong>the</strong> very first pair?<br />
Who is going to put all <strong>the</strong>se boxes away?<br />
<strong>Me</strong> of course!<br />
May be I will c<strong>ome</strong> back tomorrow.<br />
“Yes, good idea − c<strong>ome</strong> back tomorrow.”<br />
Three deep breaths.<br />
May I never see her again!<br />
~ 98 ~
India<br />
Army of sounds<br />
Tapestry of colours<br />
. Astonishing to <strong>the</strong> western eye.<br />
Smiles abound<br />
A helping hand ever extended<br />
Beggars pleading for food<br />
Spiritual incantations to stir <strong>the</strong> heart.<br />
Colourful rickshaws, taxis, cars, buses, bicycles,<br />
motorbikes carrying whole families<br />
hoot <strong>the</strong>ir way through <strong>the</strong> crowded streets,<br />
shared <strong>with</strong> seemingly oblivious dogs,<br />
cows, donkeys, ox and camel carts<br />
and even <strong>the</strong> occasional elephant.<br />
Aroma of spices,<br />
curries , chapattis, samosa, dosa...<br />
A multitude of foods<br />
to entice one’s taste buds.<br />
Families living in tents on <strong>the</strong> streets,<br />
a backdrop of luxury housing.<br />
An un-orchestrated symphony of life.<br />
~ 99 ~
Overwhelmed<br />
I stand at <strong>the</strong> edge of a steep drop.<br />
Far below, through <strong>the</strong> white sandy desert,<br />
meanders a muddy grey river.<br />
Barren mountains soar high above me,<br />
each <strong>with</strong> its own personality<br />
of colours and shape,<br />
s<strong>ome</strong> <strong>with</strong> snow capped peaks<br />
glistening under <strong>the</strong> deep blue sky.<br />
I am rooted to <strong>the</strong> ground,<br />
filled <strong>with</strong> a surge of emotion<br />
that penetrates through every fiber of my being.<br />
My hands reach upwards as if seeking God<br />
to embrace Him <strong>with</strong> love for <strong>the</strong> gift<br />
of this experience.<br />
Tears of gratitude flow uncontrollably<br />
as I think of all <strong>the</strong> sick, disabled, poverty stricken<br />
who will never have <strong>the</strong> opportunity<br />
to witness this view.<br />
I feel so small, so humbled.<br />
On a mountain pass in <strong>the</strong> Himalayas, India.<br />
~ 100 ~
A Magical M<strong>ome</strong>nt in Mongolia<br />
The sun has just broken <strong>the</strong> morning sky,<br />
peering from behind <strong>the</strong> granite mountains,<br />
sending its warmth across <strong>the</strong> green valley<br />
to relieve <strong>the</strong> cold of <strong>the</strong> Mongolian night.<br />
Wrapped in layers,<br />
I venture out of <strong>the</strong> Nomad’s ger<br />
to make my way,<br />
in <strong>the</strong> still silence of <strong>the</strong> early hours,<br />
to <strong>the</strong> near<strong>by</strong> golden sand dunes.<br />
My shoes, soaked in <strong>the</strong> glistening dew<br />
that carpets <strong>the</strong> grass, bec<strong>ome</strong> caked <strong>with</strong> sand<br />
as I climb and slide, up to <strong>the</strong> highest point.<br />
I pray in a state of awe,<br />
sensing only <strong>the</strong> presence of God<br />
in <strong>the</strong> three hundred and sixty degree vista<br />
that my eyes are blessed to witness.<br />
Stirred <strong>by</strong> a force from <strong>with</strong>in,<br />
I take off in joyful dance –<br />
not so easy in <strong>the</strong> soft sand,<br />
but my body flies, as if a fea<strong>the</strong>r,<br />
as I celebrate this m<strong>ome</strong>nt of connection<br />
to <strong>the</strong> Divine and His magical Creation.<br />
~ 101 ~
Beyond Labels<br />
A beggar hassles me,<br />
pleads for money,<br />
does not leave me alone.<br />
I get aggravated,<br />
anger takes over,<br />
I shoo him away like a dog.<br />
I forget he has a soul like mine,<br />
indeed we could have been in opposite roles.<br />
Maybe we were in previous lifetimes.<br />
Can I ever know how he feels?<br />
The anguish I have caused him,<br />
treating him <strong>with</strong> disdain.<br />
Do I stop and acknowledge that he, too,<br />
has a history, family, friends, pains and joys?<br />
For me, at this m<strong>ome</strong>nt, he is just an annoyance.<br />
Oh how I need to work on my emotions,<br />
see far beyond his label as ’beggar,’<br />
beyond my automatic feelings<br />
of contempt and disregard.<br />
Yet showing compassion<br />
can so easily inflate my ego,<br />
make me feel superior!<br />
~ 102 ~
He is a human being who ‘begs ‘<br />
just as I am a human being who ‘writes poetry,’<br />
Beyond our labels<br />
we are <strong>the</strong> same, from <strong>the</strong> same Source,<br />
just complementing each o<strong>the</strong>r<br />
in fulfilling <strong>the</strong> Divine cycle<br />
of giving and receiving.<br />
~ 103 ~
Stop a M<strong>ome</strong>nt<br />
Streets full of people yet he is alone,<br />
shunned <strong>by</strong> society, an outcast,<br />
unable to earn his living.<br />
He sits − silently<br />
<strong>with</strong> outstretched hand<br />
to feel a coin or two.<br />
He has no one to talk to,<br />
no one stops to inquire,<br />
no one gives a m<strong>ome</strong>nt’s thought<br />
to acknowledge him<br />
as a fellow human being −<br />
even a dog receives more attention!<br />
Yet he knows so much,<br />
has learnt <strong>the</strong> wisdoms of truth.<br />
He lives in a world<br />
away from all our hi-tec distractions,<br />
our time based society.<br />
He truly sees <strong>the</strong> beauty in a tiny flower<br />
and hears <strong>the</strong> joy in a bird’s morning song.<br />
So many free pleasures in this world<br />
to feel gratitude for.<br />
~ 104 ~
He’s awakened <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> first rays<br />
of <strong>the</strong> rising sun,<br />
dancing on his sleeping eyelids,<br />
whilst we are still asleep in our beds.<br />
He may have no shoes<br />
but we have no idea <strong>the</strong> joy he experiences<br />
walking barefoot on dew-carpeted grass.<br />
So please, next time you pass him <strong>by</strong>,<br />
stop a m<strong>ome</strong>nt,<br />
look him in <strong>the</strong> eye,<br />
exchange a few words<br />
to lighten <strong>the</strong> isolation he feels.<br />
He may have a gift to share.<br />
~ 105 ~
A Surreal Scene<br />
In <strong>the</strong> last rays of <strong>the</strong> setting sun,<br />
storm clouds speed across <strong>the</strong> sky.<br />
Flashes of lightening<br />
illuminate <strong>the</strong> darkening horizon.<br />
Thunder echoes from <strong>the</strong> surrounding hills.<br />
Suddenly a deafening squawking emanates<br />
from <strong>the</strong> forest across <strong>the</strong> lake.<br />
A black cloud lifts up from <strong>the</strong> trees,<br />
spreads out like on opening fan.<br />
Bats!<br />
Thousands of <strong>the</strong>m...<br />
A surreal scene,<br />
forever etched in my memory.<br />
Lake Kunanara, NW Australia<br />
~ 106 ~
Jerusalem<br />
Screaming − smell of burning<br />
“Oh no, our Holy Temple!”<br />
What’s happening?<br />
What do mo<strong>the</strong>r’s words mean?<br />
What’s happening to <strong>the</strong> Temple?<br />
I feel her comforting arms around me,<br />
her tears cascading onto my face.<br />
“The Romans − we must leave.<br />
Hold onto my hand and don’t let go."<br />
We run − I see panic all around me.<br />
A haze of smoke blankets <strong>the</strong> once clear blue sky.<br />
Exhausted we find a small cave to shelter in.<br />
Brutally we are dragged from our hiding place,<br />
led into captivity, exiled from our h<strong>ome</strong>land.<br />
Jerusalem is destroyed,<br />
<strong>the</strong> Jewish people scattered.<br />
*<br />
Yet, beneath all <strong>the</strong> sorrow and pain<br />
for over two thousand years,<br />
a beacon of hope burned in our hearts;<br />
a yearning to return to our land<br />
and rebuild our holy city.<br />
And indeed, we have at last c<strong>ome</strong> h<strong>ome</strong>.<br />
~ 107 ~
To <strong>the</strong> Kotel<br />
Tallit blowing in <strong>the</strong> wind,<br />
he raced towards <strong>the</strong> Kotel.<br />
Not knowing why,<br />
but aware that a profound yearning<br />
had propelled him out of a deep slumber<br />
before <strong>the</strong> sun had broken <strong>the</strong> horizon.<br />
In <strong>the</strong> eeriness of dawn,<br />
no thoughts entered his mind<br />
as he raced through <strong>the</strong> narrow lanes<br />
of <strong>the</strong> Old City of Jerusalem.<br />
His heart pounded against his ribs<br />
like a soldier’s drum urging him onwards.<br />
His eyes did not notice<br />
<strong>the</strong> alley-cats searching for open dustbins,<br />
nor <strong>the</strong> bearded men, <strong>with</strong> prayer shawls<br />
draped over <strong>the</strong>ir shoulders,<br />
making <strong>the</strong>ir way to morning prayers.<br />
His only awareness –<br />
a need to touch <strong>the</strong> stones of <strong>the</strong> Kotel,<br />
<strong>the</strong> unfulfilled dream of his ancestors.<br />
~ 108 ~
Our Eyes <strong>Me</strong>et<br />
Our eyes meet.<br />
A fear exists between us.<br />
Our egos say<br />
“You are my enemy<br />
I cannot trust you.”<br />
But let’s go beyond <strong>the</strong>se reactions,<br />
look at each o<strong>the</strong>r from <strong>the</strong> heart,<br />
from a place beyond thinking.<br />
Feel each o<strong>the</strong>r’s essence.<br />
Know our oneness.<br />
We can hear <strong>the</strong> same music,<br />
look at <strong>the</strong> same painting,<br />
feel <strong>the</strong> same pain,<br />
laugh and smile <strong>with</strong> <strong>the</strong> same joy.<br />
Only our minds<br />
dictate our perception of separateness.<br />
You, me, <strong>the</strong>y,<br />
don’t exist beyond thought.<br />
Amman, Jordan<br />
~ 109 ~
Cry of <strong>the</strong> Earth<br />
My tears cascade down waterfalls.<br />
My sobs reverberate in <strong>the</strong> rumble of thunder.<br />
How long will I have to drink <strong>the</strong> blood of <strong>the</strong> slain,<br />
listen to <strong>the</strong> screams of <strong>the</strong> persecuted,<br />
be scarred <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> ravages of war?<br />
I am such a beautiful planet,<br />
full of colours, sounds and perfumes −<br />
an abundance of gifts to bring joy to mankind.<br />
I have so much to give,<br />
yet am abused − my forests raped,<br />
rivers poisoned, atmosphere polluted,<br />
my resources used for weapons of destruction.<br />
All I can do, is vision a time<br />
when tolerance, respect, love and compassion<br />
will bring <strong>the</strong> illusive peace<br />
that I have yearned for from time immemorial.<br />
~ 110 ~
Imagination<br />
While my body rests,<br />
my imagination can take me<br />
over <strong>the</strong> horizon<br />
to places beyond my dreams.<br />
Turquoise seas and silver sands.<br />
I swim and dive <strong>with</strong> dolphins<br />
deep beneath <strong>the</strong> ocean’s surface.<br />
Or, as music plays, I am ice skating,<br />
choreographing my own dance<br />
as I twirl, leap, speed around <strong>the</strong> rink.<br />
Such exhilarating experiences<br />
and all this only in my mind!<br />
~ 111 ~
My Story<br />
I am from a place of infinite beauty<br />
beyond <strong>the</strong> realm of knowing.<br />
I entered this world s<strong>ome</strong> seven decades ago.<br />
A woman’s screams shattered my reverie.<br />
A pulsating pressure<br />
squeezed me through a narrow, dark tunnel.<br />
A sudden blinding light,<br />
a sharp pain<br />
and I let out my first of many cries.<br />
I was frightened, confused and cold.<br />
Then, swa<strong>the</strong>d in s<strong>ome</strong>thing warm,<br />
I felt a gentle caress<br />
and an energy full of love flowed into me,<br />
as when I was floating<br />
in <strong>the</strong> cradling liquid of my mo<strong>the</strong>r’s womb.<br />
I was at <strong>the</strong> beginning<br />
of my voyage of discovery and re-remembering,<br />
a story of overcoming challenges,<br />
of love story,<br />
a story of loss,<br />
a travel story of adventures.<br />
~ 112 ~
Many threads were woven toge<strong>the</strong>r<br />
to bring me to <strong>the</strong> place I am now,<br />
to <strong>the</strong> person I have bec<strong>ome</strong> −<br />
a tapestry of colours, textures and designs.<br />
From generation upon generation<br />
as far back as <strong>the</strong> first m<strong>ome</strong>nt of creation,<br />
as far forwards to <strong>the</strong> end of time,<br />
I am an eternal being, as all beings,<br />
in <strong>the</strong> timeless <strong>the</strong>atre of <strong>the</strong> Creator.<br />
~ 113 ~
Glossary<br />
HaShem<br />
The Kotel<br />
loving kindness and often used in my<br />
poems as a more personal relationship.<br />
The section of <strong>the</strong> Western supporting<br />
wall of <strong>the</strong> Temple Mount that has<br />
remained intact since <strong>the</strong> destruction<br />
of <strong>the</strong> Second Temple <strong>by</strong> <strong>the</strong> Romans<br />
in 70 C.E. It became <strong>the</strong> most sacred<br />
spot in Jewish religious consciousness<br />
<strong>by</strong> virtue of its proximity to <strong>the</strong> ‘Holy<br />
of Holies’, <strong>the</strong> central focus in <strong>the</strong><br />
Temple.<br />
Fringed, white shawl worn <strong>by</strong> Jewish<br />
men at prayer.<br />
Tallit<br />
Hebrew for one’s evil inclination.<br />
Yetzer Hara<br />
Hebrew<br />
name of God<br />
implying<br />
~ 115 ~