CIUDAD to - the Catholic Kingdom!

INTRODUCTION 17
is more, although the angels and the Queen of heaven,
and the Lord himself continually reassured and soothed
me, and although
I feel myself free in their presence;
yet, as soon as I issue from this sphere of divine light
I am again assailed with incredible violence. This
might easily be recognized as the cruel machination of
the infernal dragon, if my troubles, afflictions and fears
had not the appearance of arising from other sources
than the devil. This fiend especially assails me, when
ever I am about to open my heart to my confessors,
particularly to the superior, who directs me ;
for nothing
does this prince of darkness fear more than the light
and the power possessed by the ministers of the Lord.
16. In the bitterness of this sorrow and the most
ardent desire of grace and of not losing God, I have
lived many years, and the various and numerous hap
penings amid this constant strife I cannot record. The
root of this fear, I believe, was holy, but many
of its
branches have been fruitless, although the divine wis
dom knew how to use them all for his different ends.
On this account He permitted the enemy
to avail him
self of the blessings of the Lord for my affliction.
For
the inordinate fear, which hinders the good, though it
appear to imitate ever so much the good, is evil and of
the demon. My afflictions have at times reached such
a pass, that I considered it a great gain not to lose
the life of my body, and especially that of my soul.
But the Lord, whom the winds and the waves obey
(Matth. 8, 27) and whom all things serve (Ps. 118,
91), who gives nourishment to every creature in op
portune time (Ps. 144, 15), has now in his condescen
sion wished to give peace to my spirit in order that I
might enjoy more tranquillity in writing the rest of this
history.
It is some years ago, that the Lord consoled
Private Use Only