Palisades-News-March-18-2015

March 18, 2015 Palisades News Special Section — Summer Camps & Schools Page 3
Local Expert Offers Stress Tips for Parents
By LAUREL BUSBY
Staff Writer
Children today are often under pressure
to “do things faster, better and
earlier,” stress expert and author
Amanda Enayati says. Whether it’s walking,
talking, or learning to read, parents
may feel pressure to help their kids move
forward in building skills instead of simply
enjoying the fun of childhood.
But it doesn’t have to be this way. Parents
can act as “protective barriers” between our
competitive society and their kids—allowing
children more time and space to play
and relax, while also helping youngsters
develop resiliency in handling life’s stresses.
Here are Enayati’s top stress tips for parents
and kids that she has discovered in
her years investigating the subject for
CNN Health, PBS Media Shift and other
media outlets.
1. Playtime, downtime and family time:
“The young child’s job is to play,” Enayati
says. “Even when kids have a moment, we
try to get them to do something constructive
and formal, but we need to build
wide-open spaces in their day where they
have nothing to do but play.” This play
would also be gadget-free with things like
blocks and Legos, instead of using the instant
gratification of phones, iPads, computers
and television.
2. Build an unconditionally loving family:
In her research, Enayati learned that the
strongest predictor of high achievement
and low behavioral problems is family
On the Cover
Palisades Elementary fourth graders
(left to right) Letizia Oetker, Gabriella
Bose, Sofia and Sasha Shull, Olivia
Rodeno and Claire Monaco jumped
rope to show support for American
Heart Month. The annual event
promotes exercise and a healthy diet, as
well as awareness of a national event
to prevent heart attacks and strokes.
Photo: Bart Bartholomew
meals. “The importance of family time
and being part of a family cannot be emphasized
enough. Family doesn’t have to
be defined a certain way just as long as the
child feels like they are part of a community
or family.”
3. Resting, rejuvenating and relaxing:
Sleep is vital. “Lack of sleep is coordinated
with high levels of anxiety and depression,”
Enayati notes. She suggests maintaining a
child’s routine with parts of the day to anticipate
happily, so that no matter what
stresses might be affecting the parents, the
child still has a stable schedule.
4. Teach children the art of distraction:
Stress is an inevitable part of life, and part
of childhood is learning to handle life’s difficulties.
One way to deal with stress is simply
to turn one’s attention away from it. If
children practice this with a parent, they
can eventually learn to do it for themselves.
5. Problem solving: In discussions with
children about a problem, try asking openended
questions, such as “Tell me what’s
happening.” Then discuss any misunderstandings
a kid may have and brainstorm
strategies that may help solve the problem.
If similar situations have occurred in the
with Sinjin
Smith
Amanda Enayati
past, aid a child in recalling what was beneficial
then that might also help now.
6. Validate children’s feelings: It is important
to say “I know how that feels” instead
of saying “You shouldn’t be feeling that
way,” Enayati says. By doing this, the parent
alleviates stress and helps a child learn
empathy. Another good question during
conflicts is simply “How do you think the
other person feels?”
7. Treat children like children: “Kids are
not mini-adults,” she says, so it’s important
to make certain that they are not
being exposed to inappropriate media, inappropriate
ways of dressing or inappropriate
adult issues.
8. Some stress is good: It’s vital that kids
learn to handle some adversity, so that
they can develop resiliency and coping
skills as they encounter stress throughout
their lives. “There has to be some degree
of legitimate suffering—not abuse . . . but
growing and failing and learning from
that,” Enayati says.
9. Ask the big important whys: A good
question to ask ourselves is “What is our
value system as a society and as a family?”
she said. Each family has its own value system,
and it is worth taking a look at what
that is. Sometimes, the value system itself
may be causing stress, so identifying the
value system may help address the stress.
If some values aren’t what you want
them to be, then alter them to what is truly
important to your family. “It’s never too
late. Put your stake in the ground and live
your values,” Enayati says. “Sometimes that
causes suffering and difficulty, but that is
the good kind of suffering. You’re asking
the big whys.”
(Amanda Enayati’s book, Seeking Serenity:
The 10 New Rules for Health and Happiness
in the Age of Anxiety, was published
this month, and an article about her and the
book is featured on page 5 of this paper.)
Optimist Club Seeks Grant Applicants
Pacific Palisades Optimist Club, whose
motto is “Friends of Youth” and whose
goal is “Bring Out the Best in Kids,” will
once again make annual grants to youth
organizations based in Pacific Palisades or
those that provide services that benefit
youth in this community.
Grants may be used for funding of a specific
event, for equipment, a facility or service,
and must be spent this year. Grants are
not given to organizations that request continuing
financial support. The application
must be received no later than March 31.
Award decisions will be made within
two months, and grant recipients will be
notified and, if possible, receive their
awards at the weekly Tuesday breakfast
meeting of the Palisades Optimists.
Interested organizations, schools and
clubs may send queries to grant committee
chairman Bill Skinner (ibeeel@aol.com)
or call (310) 459-8286 to receive an application
and grant guidelines.
Applications are also available at the
Chamber of Commerce at 15330 Antioch
Street. They may be returned to the Chamber
or mailed to Grants Committee Chairman,
Optimist Club of Pacific Palisades,
P.O. Box 211, Pacific Palisades 90272.
Santa Monica - 2030 Ocean Avenue – Beach Lot #4 south
Pacific Palisades - Will Rogers State te t
Beach ( Tower 18)
June 8th thru August 28th
Beach Volleyball Camps: 9:00am to 12:00pm (M-F)
Sand & Sea Beach Camps: 9am-12pm and, or 12-3pm
(M-F)
REGISTER ONLINE
AT
Boys & Girls ages 7-18.
All skill levels welcome!
www.beachvolleyballcamps.com
For more information call
310-940-7166
or email us at info@beachvolleyballcamps.com
Summertime
Pool Fun
After group swimming
lessons, this happy
Palisades-Malibu
camper was allowed to
play in the Palisades
High School swimming
pool.
Photo: Courtesy of
Palisades-Malibu YMCA