18th Eastern Link - Province 20 Catenians of Western Australia

The Catenian Association Strengthening family life through friendship and faith
EASTERN LINK PROVINCE 21
FINALLY, LET’S HAVE A LAUGH. . . . . .
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a wee dog that he loved and doted on.
After many long years of faithful companionship, the dog finally died, so Muldoon went to the parish
priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a Mass for him?"
Father Patrick replied, "I am so very sorry to hear about your dog's death. But, unfortunately, I can't say
Mass for the poor creature..."
Muldoon said, "I understand, Father, I do. I guess I'll go to this new denomination down the road; no
tellin' what they believe... Do you think $500 is enough to donate for the service?"
Father Patrick: "Why didn't you tell me your wee dog was Catholic?!"
Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room
but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say: "Jesus is watching you!"
Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice
boomed again. The burglar stopped dead again. He was frightened. Frantically, he looked all around. In
a dark corner, he spotted a bird cage and in the cage was a parrot. He asked the parrot:
"Was that you who said Jesus is watching me?" "Yes," said the parrot. The burglar breathed a sigh of
relief and asked the parrot: "What's your name?" "Clarence," said the bird.
"That's a dumb name for a parrot," sneered the burglar. "What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot
said, "The same idiot who named the Doberman Jesus."
Lost on a rainy Friday night, a priest stumbles into a monastery and requests shelter there. Fortunately,
he's just in time for dinner and was treated to the best fish and chips he's ever had.
After dinner, he goes into the kitchen to thank the chefs. He is met by two brothers, "Hello, I'm Brother
Michael, and this is Brother Francis."
"I'm very pleased to meet you. I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful dinner. The fish and chips
were the best I've ever tasted. Out of curiosity, who cooked what?"
Brother Charles replied, "Well, I'm the fish friar."
Father turns to the other brother and says, "Then you must be...."
"Yes, I'm afraid I'm the chip monk..."
Not so very long ago, an old German man was feeling guilty about something he had done, so he
decided to go to Confession.
He said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. I feel terrible because during World War II I hid a refugee
in my attic."
The priest said, "But that's not a sin! I wouldn't feel bad about that if I were you!"
"But I made him agree to pay me 50 Marks for every week he stayed."
The priest said, "Well, I admit that certainly wasn't the most noble thing to do, charging the man to save
his life -- but you did save his life, after all, and that is a good thing. Don't worry about it too much; God
forgives."
The man said, "Oh thank you, Father, that eases my mind. I have only one more question to ask you --
Do I have to tell him the war is over?"
After the Baptism of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed all the way home in the back seat
of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said
he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, but I want to stay with you guys."
Catholic boy and a Jewish boy were talking and the Catholic boy said, "My priest knows more than your
rabbi." The Jewish boy said, "Of course he does, you tell him everything."
JUNE Page 60 2013