F OCUS - American Foreign Service Association

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S FS VOICE: THE LIGHTER SIDE ■ BY ANDREA MCCARLEY
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Leaving the Foreign Service
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Separating from service? It’s time for your 12-month
State Department recovery program. Below is an
overview of your emotional journey over the next year.
Month 1: Sober Up and Head Home
For the last month at post you were partying every night
and getting no sleep. Now your clothes don’t fit and your liver
is blinking red. It’s time to get back to the gym. As you enter
the U.S. on your diplomatic passport for the last time, a Customs
official greets you with,“What was the purpose of your
trip?” Your luggage is searched.
Month 2: Where Will I Live?
Friends and family who haven’t seen you in years were initially
happy to see you. But now it’s time to get off their
couches and find yourself and your excess baggage (spouse,
children, family pet) a home. If you already own a place, there
is at least a month’s worth of work to be done once your tenants
vacate.
Rediscover driving for pleasure. Cars are on the road and
people are on the sidewalk, instead of the other way around.
The vast majority of cars are registered, inspected, insured,
emission-controlled vehicles, driven by licensed drivers wearing
seat belts. And there are actually family cars, with children
in car seats — rather than rusting, filth-spewing metal boxes
full of underage projectiles.
Month 3: Where the Heck Is My Stuff?
Make many phone calls to trace household effects. Although
Miami is a three-hour flight from Panama, only the
State Department can turn this into an eight-week journey.
Items arrive but apparently endured 1,000-degree heat in
warehouse storage. Buttons on some clothing melted. Make
a vow never to move again.
Rediscover actual customer service. This and people waiting
in orderly lines bring tears to your eyes. Shake head at
temper tantrum by impatient lady at Starbuck’s complaining
about her latte. She wouldn’t last an hour in the Third World.
Month 4: Eek! I Need a Job
Last paychecks, allowances, refunds have come and gone.
Apply your cable-writing skills to your resumé and your representational-event
skills to networking and professional forums.
Rediscover meeting new people and going to new places
without filling out a form. You no longer have to explain to
the Regional Security Officer whom you woke up with this
morning.
Month 5: Show Me the Money
New job! Many new passwords and logons to learn. People
not only return your calls and e-mails, they do so the same
day! What is that constant ringing in your ears? It’s your cell
phone, which is no longer outside in a box but sitting next to
you.
Rediscover infrastructure. Take the train to work each
day. Public transport is no longer subject to frequent blowups
and/or catching fire.
Months 6-7: Social Adjustments
Adapt your“water cooler”conversation skills, because no
one can relate to your experiences. Your knowledge of the
nuances of U.S. immigration law is, surprisingly, not a
crowd-pleaser. And your intimate acquaintance with foreign
prison conditions is just plain weird. You can’t relax at
a July 4 beach party, but find yourself waiting until the last
guest leaves and then asking permission to go home.
You miss the fact that no one stops by your desk on a
Wednesday afternoon and invites you to Colombia for the
weekend. Few of your new colleagues travel. You unintentionally
ruin it for those who do by suggesting they read the
State Department travel advisory on their country of destination.
They imagine beautiful beaches, shopping and exotic
food. You think of corruption, poverty, untreated
sewage, money laundering and drug trafficking.
Month 8: Barely Keeping Up with World Events
You display only passing interest in international news,
but when you do watch television, segments involving summits
or other travel by world leaders have you doing a mental
calculation of the number of control officers needed.
Haiti still needs aid and Pakistan is still a mess. (Hey, you
tried.) World peace is crowded off your to-do list. You are
too busy learning new skills: how to fix a leaky faucet and
make other home repairs previously known as “put in a
work order.”
You may have maintained your primarily liberal bias, but
are now an arch-conservative on the issue of illegal immigration.
Of course, whether we deport or legalize, there are
apparently at least 11 million people involved. After doing
the math based on actual experience with a processing rate
of a few dozen cases a year, you conclude that the problem
will never be solved.
Months 9-10: In the Routine
You’re settled into your new job, know your stuff, and
have a new ability to sit patiently through meetings where
bad decisions are discussed and/or no decisions are made.
On the other hand, promotion decisions are made by people
who actually know you and your work.
Months 11–12: There’s No Place Like Home
Friends/family complain about bad government, but
you’ve lived with bad government and the U.S. is doing just
fine.
Welcome home! It was a privilege to serve. ❒
Former FSO Andrea McCarley served in Nuevo Laredo and Panama City
from 2003 to 2007. She is now at ING Australia. She thanks former
FSO Manny Rubio for inspiring this piece.
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