If I kept it to myself - World YWCA

Young women intervene in a world with AIDS
they were HIV positive. So she took the idea to
the counsellors’ support group and asked them
to start informing their clients about the support
group. It so happened that my niece was one of
the clients. One day, she came back home with
the information she had received at the centre
to educate me about HIV and AIDS. It was still
too difficult for me to tell her my status. Finally,
she asked me to accompany her to TASC. I was
so confused. I consulted with my counsellor,
who offered to pretend that they didn’t know
me. That day at TASC we both told each other
of our status and initialised the support group
concept. This is how our national support group,
Swaziland AIDS Support Organisation (SASO)
started.
The first HIV positive person I counselled was a
man who wanted to commit suicide because of
the stigma he was facing at his workplace. We
watched the films that helped me and we both
wept, but afterwards I felt relieved since I had
accomplished my goal. The most important thing
was that he knew that, while our situations were
different, I was another person living with HIV.
This man is still living positively and in control of
his life without medication. I last saw him on April
30, 2005 at the wedding ceremony of my niece
with whom we started the support group.
One day, I accompanied the Director of TASC
to a meeting of directors, programme managers
and donors. My director thought I could make a
pledge for our support group, and introduced me
to the then Programme Manager of Swaziland
National AIDS Programme (SNAP). The master
of ceremonies was told about my presence as
a person living with HIV, and in her remarks
she said: “Ladies and gentlemen, today we are
very grateful, having talked among ourselves
about HIV and AIDS that TASC has brought us
someone who has AIDS.”
Automatically it was clear that the person was
me, sitting next to the TASC Director. The SNAP
Programme Manager whispered to my Director
saying that since the MC had made a blunder,
I mustn’t say anything to rectify the situation.
The TASC Director wrote some notes but to no
avail, I had to speak. I stood up and repeated the
words of the MC. That was the beginning of my
public life. There were 55 people in that meeting,
including the Minister of Health, Dr. Von Wissel,
now the Director of the National Emergency
Response Committee HIV and AIDS (NERCHA).
NERCHA is the driving force on HIV and AIDS
in the country. Also among them was a health
educator from the Ministry of Health who asked
me to participate in a radio programme that same
day.
At 12.30pm on February 24, 1994, I became
the first person in Swaziland living with HIV to
disclose her status on national radio. I have
never looked back since that moment. The
negative perspective of the media was my first
encounter with stigma. I thank God for the TASC
director who protected me. I continue to live
positively and openly, driven by the anger I had
towards my boyfriend who didn’t want to admit
that he had infected me. I ask myself, how many
more young women will become infected and
later be rejected as I was?
Political and religious leaders reacted differently.
Some suggested that I should be branded and
placed in quarantine so that people could be
protected. Some would invite me and then mock
me saying AIDS is a punishment from God; I
should repent my evil ways, God is able to heal
me. Thanks to the staff of TASC, I was never
alone during these difficult times. I remember
one pastor invited me to give a testimony and
during the church service he quoted some verses
from the Bible saying it’s a curse from God.
He then asked me to stand up and said,” here
she is, look at her”, then asked me to sit down
without allowing me to give my testimony. I felt so
humiliated, but as an advocate for change I had
to remain courageous.
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