If I kept it to myself - World YWCA

If I kept it to myself
Tuwilika Heita
I found her there and she told me “little sister be a good
girl, don’t follow what I did. Take care of yourself and
be aware of HIV and AIDS. As you see me lying here it is
because of HIV and AIDS.”
My name is Tuwilika Heita, a 20-year-old woman
from Namibia. I became interested in HIV and
AIDS and youth issues while in high school.
Since we did not have a life skills guidance
teacher, nor did we receive education on sex
or sexuality, the only place I could get involved
in HIV and AIDS issues was in clubs and
associations. I joined an AIDS awareness club
and My Future Is My Choice (MFMC) as these
provided the only chance for young people to talk
about HIV and AIDS.
The AIDS awareness club was developed to
empower and support high school students
and was open to every interested student. This
club established a management structure that
included a facilitator. From the youth centre,
we obtained books provided by the Ministry of
Basic Education, Sport and Culture that were
used for debates, games, discussions and other
activities that mobilised and educated us on HIV
prevention and care issues.
By the time I joined high school, I had already
been affected by AIDS. My eldest sister died in
2002 from an AIDS-related illness. I was fifteen
years old when she first started getting ill. It
was a difficult time for our family; my parents
were separated and unemployed. Our family
of six, four girls and two boys was broken. My
eldest sister was supporting my siblings and me
by paying our school fees and meeting other
personal daily needs.
I lived with my sister at the beginning of her
illness. She started losing weight and getting
sick, and it seemed that every week she would
have to go to the hospital. Finally, she was
diagnosed with Tuberculosis. She was given
28
many tablets, but the sickness kept increasing.
We were very close then; she liked me a lot and
was always there for me when I needed help in
my schoolwork. Although we never discussed
HIV or AIDS, I began to wonder if she had HIV.
She had become pregnant the year before, but
her child passed away when he was only two
months old. Soon after, she was very sick and
stopped working.
My other sisters lived with other family members,
so I was the only girl around to take care of my
sister. Once her health got worse, I started high
school at a boarding school. Now, I could only
make it home on weekends. When I was home,
I always made sure that she ate healthy food
and took her medication on time. I used to pray
with her, sing spiritual inspiring songs, and show
her how much she meant to me and how much
I loved her. At the end of that year, I took her to
our church and she gave her life to Jesus through
me.
At the beginning of 2002, it was my final year in
high school and I had to be at school studying
most of the time. I had noticed that when my
sister was alone, her health would deteriorate.
I think that she would not eat well or take her
tablets according to the doctor’s prescription. I
hadn’t been to see her in two months when I got
a message from a neighbour that I must come
home immediately. My sister was in hospital and
had been asking to see me. I found her there and
she told me “little sister be a good girl, don’t follow
what I did. Take care of yourself and be aware
of HIV and AIDS. As you see me lying here it is
because of HIV and AIDS. Don’t go into the world,
stay with your Jesus in your heart and take care
of my only son. I love you. Tell your other sisters