If I kept it to myself - World YWCA

If I kept it to myself
I had no choice but to return. Things got worse
and I developed a fungus in my body; even my
heart was surrounded by tuberculosis (TB) fluid.
Back at the hospital, I told the doctor of my life at
home and pleaded with him to admit me for three
months to regain my strength. The doctor told my
relatives what was happening, so they talked to
my husband and took my daughter.
While in hospital, I recalled everything about my
life and realised that instead of getting support,
a woman can struggle at the hands of someone
she loves. I thought if a young woman of my
education who knows her rights can face stigma
like this, what about those who are not educated,
well off and do not know their rights? We women
do not have the power to refuse sex when we
do not want it. I prayed and promised God that
when I regained my strength, I would use my
experience and stand up for the rights of women
and girls.
I had spiritual counselling and forgave my
husband, but I knew that we could no longer live
together. I found a house and informed him that
we would be leaving in a few days. I have since
started a new life with my daughter, Iman, and we
are both on ARV medication.
With the advice and assistance of a lawyer, I
initially filed for separation, and after a year I will
be able to proceed with a divorce. I also got full
custody of my daughter. The lawyer also advised
me to prepare my will to identify a guardian for
her in the event of my death.
I am now a counsellor for different groups and
networks of people living with HIV and AIDS and
faith based organisations (churches and Muslim
groups). I am a Coordinator for the Network of
Young People living with HIV and AIDS (NYP+)
and the Association of HIV and AIDS activists in
Tanzania. I do home based care in partnership
with networks of widows and disabled women
living with HIV and AIDS.
With the Tanzanian Government Ministries and
the private sector, I facilitate HIV and AIDS
training in the workplace. With assistance from
peers who are living openly with HIV, we are
planning outreach to commercial sex workers
and other marginalised groups with the aim to
creating awareness on HIV and AIDS.
I organise a group of young women and girls
living with HIV and AIDS, and link them to
primary, secondary schools and the university,
initiating discussion of peers about HIV and
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AIDS. Young women particularly struggle from
cultural upbringing, and families leave their
children to go out and learn sexuality issues
from the world. There is a myth that education
encourages young people to engage in sexual
activities.
Poverty makes young women anxious to have
better things. In Tanzania we have a situation
where girls and young women in schools and
university are being courted with the promise
of a better life. Some families benefit financially
from these relationships. I realise that the trust
built in these relationships keeps young women
from demanding safer sex. The rationale is that
if men are able to provide for them, they would
not do them harm. Among the students, I more
particularly work with five young women living
with HIV and AIDS who have been a source
of information to me in terms of their personal
experiences.
I am now working with the International
Community of Women living with HIV and
AIDS (ICW) as an Officer for the Parliamentary
leadership for Women’s Health (PWH) project
in Tanzania. One of my responsibilities is to link
HIV positive women to other agencies, partners
and parliamentarians, as may be appropriate
to enhance HIV and AIDS responses. This job
enables me to reach more people in different
regions and fulfil my goal of assisting women
and girls living with HIV and AIDS to benefit from
health services and be represented in policy
issues.
Being young, we can make a difference and
change the world. Let us as young women join
hands in different countries and make an impact
on HIV and AIDS. Life has to go on and we
have to show it, so stand up and move your faith
forward; put it into action. We can do it!
Born: 1976
Country: Tanzania
Organisation: Network of
Young People living with
HIV and AIDS (NYP+);
Association of HIV and
AIDS Activists; ICW
Tanzania
Campaigns for: HIV
awareness and access
to health services for
PLWHA