If I kept it to myself - World YWCA
If I kept it to myself - World YWCA
If I kept it to myself - World YWCA
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<strong>If</strong> I <strong>kept</strong> <strong>it</strong> <strong>to</strong> <strong>myself</strong><br />
I had no choice but <strong>to</strong> return. Things got worse<br />
and I developed a fungus in my body; even my<br />
heart was surrounded by tuberculosis (TB) fluid.<br />
Back at the hosp<strong>it</strong>al, I <strong>to</strong>ld the doc<strong>to</strong>r of my life at<br />
home and pleaded w<strong>it</strong>h him <strong>to</strong> adm<strong>it</strong> me for three<br />
months <strong>to</strong> regain my strength. The doc<strong>to</strong>r <strong>to</strong>ld my<br />
relatives what was happening, so they talked <strong>to</strong><br />
my husband and <strong>to</strong>ok my daughter.<br />
While in hosp<strong>it</strong>al, I recalled everything about my<br />
life and realised that instead of getting support,<br />
a woman can struggle at the hands of someone<br />
she loves. I thought if a young woman of my<br />
education who knows her rights can face stigma<br />
like this, what about those who are not educated,<br />
well off and do not know their rights? We women<br />
do not have the power <strong>to</strong> refuse sex when we<br />
do not want <strong>it</strong>. I prayed and promised God that<br />
when I regained my strength, I would use my<br />
experience and stand up for the rights of women<br />
and girls.<br />
I had spir<strong>it</strong>ual counselling and forgave my<br />
husband, but I knew that we could no longer live<br />
<strong>to</strong>gether. I found a house and informed him that<br />
we would be leaving in a few days. I have since<br />
started a new life w<strong>it</strong>h my daughter, Iman, and we<br />
are both on ARV medication.<br />
W<strong>it</strong>h the advice and assistance of a lawyer, I<br />
in<strong>it</strong>ially filed for separation, and after a year I will<br />
be able <strong>to</strong> proceed w<strong>it</strong>h a divorce. I also got full<br />
cus<strong>to</strong>dy of my daughter. The lawyer also advised<br />
me <strong>to</strong> prepare my will <strong>to</strong> identify a guardian for<br />
her in the event of my death.<br />
I am now a counsellor for different groups and<br />
networks of people living w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and AIDS and<br />
fa<strong>it</strong>h based organisations (churches and Muslim<br />
groups). I am a Coordina<strong>to</strong>r for the Network of<br />
Young People living w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and AIDS (NYP+)<br />
and the Association of HIV and AIDS activists in<br />
Tanzania. I do home based care in partnership<br />
w<strong>it</strong>h networks of widows and disabled women<br />
living w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and AIDS.<br />
W<strong>it</strong>h the Tanzanian Government Ministries and<br />
the private sec<strong>to</strong>r, I facil<strong>it</strong>ate HIV and AIDS<br />
training in the workplace. W<strong>it</strong>h assistance from<br />
peers who are living openly w<strong>it</strong>h HIV, we are<br />
planning outreach <strong>to</strong> commercial sex workers<br />
and other marginalised groups w<strong>it</strong>h the aim <strong>to</strong><br />
creating awareness on HIV and AIDS.<br />
I organise a group of young women and girls<br />
living w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and AIDS, and link them <strong>to</strong><br />
primary, secondary schools and the univers<strong>it</strong>y,<br />
in<strong>it</strong>iating discussion of peers about HIV and<br />
16<br />
AIDS. Young women particularly struggle from<br />
cultural upbringing, and families leave their<br />
children <strong>to</strong> go out and learn sexual<strong>it</strong>y issues<br />
from the world. There is a myth that education<br />
encourages young people <strong>to</strong> engage in sexual<br />
activ<strong>it</strong>ies.<br />
Poverty makes young women anxious <strong>to</strong> have<br />
better things. In Tanzania we have a s<strong>it</strong>uation<br />
where girls and young women in schools and<br />
univers<strong>it</strong>y are being courted w<strong>it</strong>h the promise<br />
of a better life. Some families benef<strong>it</strong> financially<br />
from these relationships. I realise that the trust<br />
built in these relationships keeps young women<br />
from demanding safer sex. The rationale is that<br />
if men are able <strong>to</strong> provide for them, they would<br />
not do them harm. Among the students, I more<br />
particularly work w<strong>it</strong>h five young women living<br />
w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and AIDS who have been a source<br />
of information <strong>to</strong> me in terms of their personal<br />
experiences.<br />
I am now working w<strong>it</strong>h the International<br />
Commun<strong>it</strong>y of Women living w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and<br />
AIDS (ICW) as an Officer for the Parliamentary<br />
leadership for Women’s Health (PWH) project<br />
in Tanzania. One of my responsibil<strong>it</strong>ies is <strong>to</strong> link<br />
HIV pos<strong>it</strong>ive women <strong>to</strong> other agencies, partners<br />
and parliamentarians, as may be appropriate<br />
<strong>to</strong> enhance HIV and AIDS responses. This job<br />
enables me <strong>to</strong> reach more people in different<br />
regions and fulfil my goal of assisting women<br />
and girls living w<strong>it</strong>h HIV and AIDS <strong>to</strong> benef<strong>it</strong> from<br />
health services and be represented in policy<br />
issues.<br />
Being young, we can make a difference and<br />
change the world. Let us as young women join<br />
hands in different countries and make an impact<br />
on HIV and AIDS. Life has <strong>to</strong> go on and we<br />
have <strong>to</strong> show <strong>it</strong>, so stand up and move your fa<strong>it</strong>h<br />
forward; put <strong>it</strong> in<strong>to</strong> action. We can do <strong>it</strong>!<br />
Born: 1976<br />
Country: Tanzania<br />
Organisation: Network of<br />
Young People living w<strong>it</strong>h<br />
HIV and AIDS (NYP+);<br />
Association of HIV and<br />
AIDS Activists; ICW<br />
Tanzania<br />
Campaigns for: HIV<br />
awareness and access<br />
<strong>to</strong> health services for<br />
PLWHA