If I kept it to myself - World YWCA

Young women intervene in a world with AIDS
Lydia Rwechungura
Being young, we can make a difference and change the
world. Life has to go on and we have to show it!
I got married in 2000 and became pregnant
in 2001. In the second month of pregnancy, I
attended an unfriendly antenatal clinic and was
not convinced to test for HIV. In 2002, I gave
birth to my daughter and breastfed her. At that
time, I was beginning to have AIDS symptoms,
especially on my skin. I asked my husband to
go for testing. He refused and we continued
to have sex without using protection. After a
while, I told him that if he did not go with me for
testing, I would stop having sex with him. He
finally accepted and, together with our child, we
went for HIV testing. The following week, the
counsellor informed us that my daughter and I
tested HIV positive, and my husband tested HIV
negative. He was told to return for another test
after three months.
Since that day, my husband changed completely;
he moved out of our bedroom and refused to eat
the food I prepared. He told all of his relatives
in Dar es Salaam that I was HIV positive, and
that I knew my HIV status before and wanted to
deliberately kill him. As if that was not enough,
he then came with his sister demanding to know
who the father of our daughter was, as it could
not possibly be him, considering his status.
My husband went on stigmatising me and then
I became ill and was admitted to hospital. I was
retested for my CD4 count and found out that
I had only six CD4 cells. From the hospital, my
relatives took me to the family house to care for
me, but after a while my husband said he wanted
me back home, as he too could take good care
of me. I refused, and his relatives reminded us
that they had paid a dowry for him to marry me
through good and bad times, and that according
to our traditions and culture I belonged to him.
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