Writing in English as an Additional Language at Key Stage 2

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Writing in English as an Additional Language at Key Stage 2 121 Script 4 Commentary EMT- 3 - Girl The text as a whole Narrative development: Setting Characters Problem Resolution Use of picture prompts Endings Paragraphing Length Direct speech level 3 EAL and EMT EAL and EMT stories have similar (low) amounts of development of each component, except Resolution where EAL do more. EMT stories less likely to follow the given pictures accurately. EAL stories had many incomplete endings and more than EMT. Very few interesting endings, similar to EMT. Both EAL and EMT have problems with lack of paragraphs Both EAL and EMT write shorter stories, but long enough. EAL use greater % of DS (§) Similar problems in punctuating direct speech. Script 4: Story Very little development of narrative components. Little use of description. Setting: Only the time and “shopping” given in line 1. Characters: Little development, only names Problem: Lines 11-13, developed through direct speech. Resolution: Lines 16 -17. Resolved without any tension - “David just let the girl have it”. Good use of adverbial clauses and relative time phrases (about 20 minutes later, After that, then) to move the story on. Follows pictures. After line 18, rest of story is about paying for the game - not particularly creative. Very many short paragraphs, often just one sentence.. Good length. Lots of direct speech. Some problems with punctuating it, especially missing question marks and commas. Sentence grammar Clause structure Subordinati on Subjts level 3 EAL and EMT Similar subordination index More EMT stories use advanced subordinators. EAL stories use more pronouns as Subjects (§) Script 4: Story 8 main clauses and 7 subordinate clauses, so high subordination index for this level. “while” ( line 4) 9 pronouns; 3 names; one phrase “his mum”. Bare Subject noun phrases - no adjectives. Within the text Objt/ Cmp Advbi al Verb Differences in use of Object / Complement slot not significant EAL use fewer words in the Adverbial slot (**) Differences in use of Verb slot not significant Only 5 Objects / Complements. Very bare phrases - only adjective is “new” as in pictures. Simple prepositional phrases in the Adverbial slot and 5 Adverbial clauses. Use of past perfect continuous tense in line 1 (had been shopping). Several sentences combine past and past continuous tenses e.g. line 3 “as they were going back … David saw Words and phrases Formulaic phrases Differences not significant “I’ve got one that I saved for anyone” (line 16) sounds odd or incomplete Figurative language EAL stories use more metaphors and similes than EMT stories. none
Writing in English as an Additional Language at Key Stage 2 122 Language accuracy: verb errors Differences not significant Errors with verb endings: “could go and waiting” (line 5) “it costed” (line 27) : Agreements Articles Prepns Differences not significant EAL more omitted prepositions than EMT (*) “there was people” (line 7) none Technical accuracy: Punct uation Differences not significant Full stops are used but some are missing. Commas used in wrong places (e.g.lines 7, 12, 25) Spelling Differences not significant Good. level 3 EAL and EMT EAL learners seem to handle the genre less confidently than EMT writers, particularly at level 3. Openings and slogans less varied and catchy. Omission of key information, repeated information. EAL and EMT often include too much info on price and purchase Script 4: Radio advertisement Format: Opening catches attention through question to listener. Information is not well organised e.g. last sentence returns to features. Repeated information on purchase. Message to listener in line 7 “so hurry down to toys ur us” Voice: The writer addresses the listener directly as “you”. In line 6, the I in “I’m thin” is presumably the doll speaking to the listener. This could be clearer. Language Very little use of adjectives or adverbs in description. Punctuated as direct speech - suggests confusion as to form required. Formulaic phrase error - “just for only 12.99” (line 5) Points for development: Awareness raising and noticing • Story endings that create an effect for the reader. • Use of description to develop the setting and characters. Development of strategies / Practice • Reading draft of writing from perspective of reader - to organise information, create interest. Explicit instruction • Use of paragraphs to shape the story. • Use of full stops to demarcate sentences and commas within sentences.
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Writing in English as an Additional Language at Key Stage 2

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