Paying it Forward 20Years Later - Gift of Life Family House

HELP CHANGE LIVES AT THIS YEAR’S DASH…
ONE COIN AT A TIME.
Your coins can add up to help families.
Bring your extra change and drop it off at the Family House tent on April 15, 2012.
In addition to collecting change to support families staying at Gift of Life Family House,
you and your children can have fun playing the coin drop game and enjoy prizes, stickers
and a special photo area for you to pose with your teammates or family and friends.
Caregiver Lifeline
Spotlight
by Suzanne Esfahani,
Founder of SJTeens:
Empowering Tween and Teen Girls
Supporting Children with a Parent
Listed for Transplant
Transplant caregivers experience several different emotions throughout
the transplant process: Anxiety, fear, hope and excitement are just a few.
Transplants can evoke similar emotions in our children—emotions they
may have never felt before or even know how to describe. As parents, it’s
our responsibility to support our children during the difficult process of
a transplant by accepting their feelings and assisting them in identifying
new coping skills.
Your children may not speak about their feelings, but they are aware
of what is going on and are learning how to handle tough situations by
following your behaviors. Remember to:
1. Express your feelings to your children, but don’t put the burden of your
emotions on them, making them feel they need to take care of you as well.
2. Reach out to your support systems for help. By asking for help you
are showing your children that it is an acceptable positive action to seek
support when needed.
Following are additional ways for you to assist your children throughout
the transplant process.
FIRST:
• Acknowledge the situation with your children by starting a conversation
about what is happening.
• Be open with your children and let them know that it is OK to talk about
their feelings, ask questions, and express their concerns or fears.
• Ask your children questions about the situation to better understand
their feelings.
• Don’t ignore the situation just because they aren’t asking questions.
REMEMBER:
• Listen to them, allow them to talk without interrupting, and allow them
to cry if they need to do so.
• Be honest with them. However, the information you provide must be
age-appropriate in a way that’s understandable to them.
• Express how much you love them and that you will always be there
for them.
THEY DON’T WANT TO TALK
• Don’t force them.
• Let them know that you are available when they need you.
• Counseling and support groups allow them to express their feelings
with someone separate from the situation and with whom they won’t
feel judged.
EACH CHILD COPES DIFFERENTLY:
• Acknowledge and accept their coping skills, even if they are different
from your own.
• Introduce new coping skills.
• Talk to the transplant social worker if you are unsure of age-appropriate
coping skills.
LIFE WITH TRANSPLANT:
• Try to reduce the chaos by keeping a family schedule to so they know
what to expect and when to expect which will help maintain normalcy.
• Allow them to continue with their after-school activities and try to
attend as much as possible.
• Continue to do things together as a family system, such as having
a weekly family night.
Transplantation can be difficult for all family members, young and old.
Reach out to the transplant social worker if you are feeling lost, need
additional resources, or just need someone to talk to for yourself.
For an extended version of this article and examples please visit www.GiftofLifeFamilyHouse.org
or email CaregiverLifeline@GiftofLifeFamilyHouse.org.
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