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No-Tears Naps<br />
Nap in a snap … 3 simple steps to quality nap times for baby and toddler<br />
by Heidi Holvoet<br />
Baby-Sleep-Advice.com<br />
Contact<br />
e-publish@baby-sleep-advice.com<br />
Copyright notice<br />
Copyright 2011 by Heidi Holvoet – Baby-Sleep-Advice.com<br />
All rights reserved.<br />
Disclaimer<br />
All content in this book is for information purposes only. The author is not a medical professional and does not give medical advice.<br />
Always use your own judgment and contact your doctor or health adviser if you have any concern about your child's health.
Table of Contents<br />
Chapter 1. Introduction.................................................................................... 4<br />
Why naps are so important.............................................................................5<br />
How many naps and for how long....................................................................6<br />
Chapter 2. Three Nap routines............................................................................9<br />
“The clock” - Timed nap schedule..................................................................10<br />
“EPS/ESP” - Pattern nap routine.................................................................... 11<br />
“Baby rules” - Baby-centered nap routine........................................................13<br />
Chapter 3. Three Steps to Nap in a Snap..............................................................15<br />
Step 1 – Discover your baby's nap needs...........................................................16<br />
Step 2 – Choose your baby's nap routine..........................................................20<br />
Step 3 – Install your baby's best nap routine......................................................22<br />
Chapter 4. Settling for naps..............................................................................27<br />
The Baby Sling Trick....................................................................................27<br />
Chapter 5. The Nap Tips List.............................................................................30<br />
Chapter 6. Problem solving.............................................................................. 37<br />
Chapter 7. Appendix: Sleepy Signs Journal...........................................................42<br />
Chapter 8. About the author.............................................................................46<br />
Chapter 9. More books by Heidi Holvoet.............................................................. 48<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 1. Introduction<br />
N<br />
apping is crucial for your baby's sleep and general health. A good nap routine for<br />
baby also makes your days more pleasant and relaxed.<br />
This guide gives you the necessary step-by-step techniques to find and keep the best<br />
nap routine to fit your baby and yourself.<br />
How to use this step-by-step guide<br />
If you want to know all the ins and outs of successful naps, it's best to read from A to<br />
Z completely. Then come back and browse the info you need in any specific situation.<br />
If you're starting afresh – newborn baby, had no nap routine at all so far or want to<br />
make a new start at any point – get started with the “Three Steps to Nap in a Snap”<br />
on page 15. Continue with sections “Settling for naps” and “The Nap Tips List” right<br />
after that to add proven tips and techniques to your nap plan.<br />
Do you already have the right routine in mind but it's not working yet Go to “Step 3 –<br />
Install your baby's best nap routine” on page 22 and read on from there.<br />
If you have a specific issue with napping go straight to the “Problem solving” section<br />
on page 37. You will then find your way through the other sections as necessary for<br />
your situation.<br />
Short for time If you don't have the time or do not want to go through the process of<br />
finding your baby's nap routine that is alright. The timed schedule is then the best<br />
option. It works well for most babies and toddlers. Go for the timed schedule, starting<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
from page 10.<br />
Why naps are so important<br />
Good regular naps help your baby<br />
• be happy and relaxed throughout the day<br />
• sleep the best possible nights<br />
• establish a healthy sleep routine that lasts a lifetime<br />
Content all day …<br />
Depending on her age, your baby needs one or several rest moments to get her<br />
through the day happy and relaxed. If she stays up for too long she will become tired<br />
at first, and over-tired soon after that.<br />
A tired baby, and even more so an over-tired baby is not content. She will be fussy,<br />
cranky and may cry for no apparent reason. On top of that, being over-tired makes it<br />
much more difficult to settle for sleep.<br />
Being well-rested also promotes general health.<br />
… sleeping well at night<br />
Regular naps improve sleep at night.<br />
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A baby who is not over-tired when starting the night will<br />
• settle more easily<br />
• sleep more restfully<br />
• sleep for longer stretches<br />
How many naps and for how long<br />
Nap frequency and duration depend on baby's<br />
• age<br />
• personality and personal physical sleep needs<br />
• feeding and activity schedule<br />
Ideally, baby naps exactly as often and as long as she needs.<br />
The key to that is finding out what she needs and what works just right for her. The<br />
“Three Steps to Nap in a Snap” starting on page 15, help you do exactly that.<br />
How much napping is enough<br />
The single best way to know if your baby is napping enough is to simply observe her.<br />
If your baby, when healthy,<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
• is happy, alert and active most of the time<br />
• settles without too much difficulty<br />
• wakes up refreshed after a nap<br />
then you can be quite sure that she is getting enough sleep.<br />
Let's add a few average numbers to complete your picture of typical nap needs.<br />
Average nap frequency and duration<br />
Alongside observing your baby, checking the average nap frequency and duration for<br />
your baby's age can be a helping guideline as well.<br />
To give you an idea of what to expect,<br />
Table 1 gives an overview of average<br />
naps a day and nap duration at<br />
different ages.<br />
But please do not worry if your baby is<br />
off from the numbers in the table. As<br />
with all numbers related to babies,<br />
take them with a grain of salt.<br />
In fact, observing your baby gives a<br />
About the numbers …<br />
The numbers in Table 1 are correct as statistical<br />
averages.<br />
That means we must be aware that average means that<br />
many babies more or less fit that number.<br />
But it also means that many (!) babies still deviate from<br />
the average, and often quite a lot.<br />
Your baby may take two 1-hour naps a day if the<br />
average is three 2-hour naps and that may be perfect<br />
for her.<br />
more reliable indication of how many naps she needs. That is exactly what we will do<br />
further on in this guide.<br />
Just use the averages here as a good-to-know backup.<br />
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Baby's age Naps a day Nap length<br />
0-1 months 3 - 5 1h - 3h<br />
1-3 months 3 - 4 1h - 3h<br />
3-6 months 2 - 3 1h - 3h<br />
6-12 months 1 - 3 1h - 2h<br />
12-18 months 1 - 2 1h - 2h<br />
+18 months 0 - 1 1h - 3h<br />
TABLE 1: AVERAGE NAP FREQUENCY AND DURATION BY AGE<br />
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Chapter 2. Three Nap routines<br />
Should you set up a timed schedule for your baby<br />
Use a pattern routine<br />
Or follow baby's lead completely<br />
How often and how long should she nap<br />
I<br />
t would be easy if there were a single one-fits-all best nap routine for babies, but<br />
there isn't.<br />
With nap routine we mean the type of schedule (time or pattern based) and when and<br />
for how long baby naps.<br />
Is it necessary to have 'a' routine<br />
Absolutely, a good nap routine gives regularity and recognizability: two aspects that<br />
physically help baby's body settle and sleep well.<br />
Even if that routine is flexible.<br />
Baby's ideal nap routine depends on her age, personality, maturity, physical condition<br />
and abilities, sleep habits, ... and also on your own personality and daily activities.<br />
So no prefab nap routine (“must be on schedule”, “must let baby decide when to<br />
nap”, …) is guaranteed to work for your own baby.<br />
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The 3 steps in the next section, “Three Steps to Nap in a Snap” (starts on page 15),<br />
help you find the nap routine that fits your baby best. We then fine-tune it to suit<br />
your baby's needs exactly.<br />
But first, let's have a look at each of the 3 different nap routines: “The Clock”,<br />
“EPS/ESP” and “Baby Rules”.<br />
“The clock” - Timed nap schedule<br />
A timed nap schedule is when you as a parent set fixed naps at specific times during<br />
the day.<br />
For example naps at 10am and 2pm, or 9am, 1pm and 4pm, ...<br />
There is normally room to stretch the times a bit to earlier and later. But when first<br />
setting the schedule, you may need to stick to the times within 5-10 minutes so baby<br />
benefits maximally from the schedule.<br />
You repeat the same schedule every day. Your baby will usually also have a set night<br />
time bedtime.<br />
Pros<br />
• Once the routine set, baby's body becomes physically used to sleeping at the<br />
specific times. Settling is easier and baby sleeps more restfully.<br />
• With baby on a timed schedule, it is easier for you to plan your day for other activities and<br />
family members.<br />
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Cons<br />
• You are 'stuck' with these nap times and your days may be less flexible to plan<br />
in some situations.<br />
• Baby's nap needs change from time to time so you must stay alert to adapt the<br />
times when necessary.<br />
“EPS/ESP” - Pattern nap routine<br />
EPS = EAT PLAY SLEEP<br />
or ESP = EAT SLEEP PLAY<br />
With a pattern nap routine you do not set baby on a clock but go through the day in<br />
several cycles of eating, playing and sleeping.<br />
EPS: When your baby wakes up, in the morning or after a nap, you feed her (EAT).<br />
Then there is PLAY time: your baby is awake and active. Once readily tired, she is<br />
ready to SLEEP.<br />
- or -<br />
ESP: After having been active and awake, it is time to EAT. A short time to digest a bit<br />
an then baby is ready to SLEEP. When she wakes up, there is time to be active and<br />
PLAY.<br />
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Pros<br />
• Once established and consistently respected daily, this routine is easily<br />
recognized by baby. It helps regulate her days and recognize bedtimes as well.<br />
This in turn helps with self soothing.<br />
• Because a pattern is based on baby's natural rhythm, it is usually well adapted<br />
to her needs. And so it automatically adjusts to her changing needs. This is a<br />
great pro for you: no need to worry if you ought to change things around.<br />
• You keep quite some flexibility to arrange your days.<br />
Cons<br />
• Settling can be difficult. Going to sleep at irregular times is not easy for many<br />
babies, especially for those who struggle to self soothe.<br />
• Your days can be quite unpredictable so it may be tricky to plan your own<br />
activities.<br />
• There is a risk of ending up going through this pattern too often in one day. You<br />
will have to be careful to avoid a cycle of short feeds, short naps, short awake<br />
times.<br />
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“Baby rules” - Baby-centered nap routine<br />
You can opt to follow your baby's lead completely. That means you do not impose any<br />
schedule nor do you use a set sleep-eat-play pattern. You simply observe and put your<br />
baby down to sleep whenever you feel is is necessary.<br />
This can work out really well if it fits your personality well and if your baby sleeps<br />
very easily.<br />
It can also be a very good experiment if you have been struggling to fit baby in any<br />
kind of schedule without success.<br />
Observing your baby is key to the success of this method. It's also important to offer<br />
enough opportunity for your baby to nap so she gets the rest she needs.<br />
Pros<br />
• This routine is neatly adapted to your baby's needs. And it automatically<br />
evolves when those needs change, no need for you to step in.<br />
• You have quite some flexibility to arrange your days.<br />
Cons<br />
• The flexibility implies unpredictability as well. That may make it more difficult<br />
to schedule your day with set activities. For example, baby might need a nap<br />
just when you have to take an older sibling swimming.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
• Unless your baby is extremely good at self soothing, the irregular nap times<br />
make it harder to settle.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 3. Three Steps to Nap in a Snap<br />
Are you just starting to arrange a regular nap routine for your baby<br />
Tried different things but can't get good naps<br />
Did your baby or toddler suddenly stop napping well<br />
Either way, with the 3 steps below you will find and fine-tune the best routine for<br />
your child.<br />
Here we go ...<br />
Step 1 Discover your baby's nap needs<br />
Step 2 Choose your baby's nap routine<br />
Step 3 Install baby's naps<br />
Take your time …<br />
One remark before we start: although you may be in a hurry to get things fixed for your baby, you will get the<br />
best, long lasting, results if you take the time to do things right.<br />
Give yourselves at least a week to get used to a new routine, allowing more time to let your baby settle to it<br />
completely.<br />
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Step 1 – Discover your baby's nap needs<br />
The first step is to find out what type of routine your baby needs and when and for<br />
how long she needs to nap.<br />
For this we combine two types of information:<br />
• typical nap routines by age<br />
• baby's behavior<br />
Typical nap routines by age<br />
A newborn baby typically follows a natural pattern of sleep-feed-sleep-feed-...<br />
Forcing baby into a timed schedule usually makes little sense now.<br />
The consistency from feeding after waking and going back down after some awake<br />
time and a diaper change gives baby enough regularity to help her sleep well.<br />
Between 1 and 4 months old your baby spends more and more time awake. A simple<br />
pattern routine of ESP (Eat-Sleep-Play) or EPS (Eat-Play-Sleep) often works best now.<br />
Many babies also respond well to a gently introduced timed schedule, if it is flexible<br />
enough to keep fitting baby's changing needs.<br />
From 4 months onwards a timed schedule fits most babies best. The consistent<br />
regularity helps their bodies and minds adjust to settle easily and sleep the longest<br />
possible stretches.<br />
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Observing your child – Use the Sleepy Signs Journal<br />
To get a good detailed idea of what your baby or toddler needs, take a couple of days<br />
to observe her when awake. During these observation days, keep a journal.<br />
Keeping the journal is made easy with the free Android app or the template enclosed<br />
at the end of this guide, see the Appendix Sleepy Signs Journal for details. Record<br />
when she sleeps, how she was right before a nap, any sleepy signs through the day, …<br />
Pay specific attention to sleepy signs. Table 2 has the typical sleepy signs for the<br />
different sleepy states, i.e. how tired is baby when showing this or that sleepy sign …<br />
Use these in the journal.<br />
What if it doesn't work<br />
I explicitly advise you to actually use the log and<br />
record your findings (in writing or on your mobile<br />
device).<br />
It takes a little extra effort but it is amazingly helpful.<br />
I know it would be easier to just remember but only<br />
when written/recorded will you have the overview<br />
and details you need.<br />
What if you rarely see any sleepy<br />
signs in your baby … until she's<br />
cranky with over-tiredness<br />
Don't worry, it's not your fault, some<br />
babies just don't show the signs<br />
clearly.<br />
If that is your case, I advise you to<br />
use a timed nap schedule (see page<br />
10).<br />
Remember that not all babies show the same clear signs timely. Your baby may seem<br />
perfectly OK one moment - then be all cranky and tired the next.<br />
Keep observing her closely, you will learn to spot the early sleepy signs. Writing things<br />
down in the journal helps a lot too.<br />
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Baby is ...<br />
Happily awake<br />
Sleepy Signs<br />
Content, relaxed, playing,<br />
communicating, smiling, ...<br />
Almost tired<br />
Staring, less interested in what's going on around her,<br />
less interested in playing<br />
Readily tired<br />
Over-tired<br />
First yawns, rubbing eyes, lost interest in playing and<br />
surroundings<br />
Fussy, cranky, over-active, can't find a comfortable<br />
position, not happy, crying for no other apparent reason<br />
(hunger, discomfort, scared, ...)<br />
TABLE 2: HOW TO RECOGNIZE AND UNDERSTAND BABY'S SLEEPY SIGNS<br />
Once you have the Sleepy Signs Journal of a few days take a moment to go through it<br />
carefully.<br />
What you mainly want to learn from your journal is:<br />
• How much time baby spends napping<br />
Simply count the total amount of quiet time during the day. That includes<br />
sleeping in the crib/bed, stroller, sling and in your arms.<br />
• Which type of nap routine seems to work best<br />
From your journal, you will find your baby closest to one of these three<br />
situations:<br />
1. On time : your baby seems to be tired at more or less fixed times every<br />
day. You could almost set your clock: for example tired at 10am, noon,<br />
3pm and 7pm.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
2. In a pattern : no fixed times but after being awake for a given time, your<br />
baby is tired. For example, 3 hours after waking she is ready to sleep<br />
again. This may also vary during the day, such as 3 hours awake time in<br />
the morning, 2 hours maximum in the afternoon.<br />
3. Irregular : you do not see any regularity in your baby's daily awake and<br />
sleepy times.<br />
Finally, take a moment to think about your own preference. If all was equal for your<br />
baby, which type of daily routine would you prefer Strictly timed, not timed at all,<br />
predictable or come as it may, …<br />
You will also want to consider older siblings' schedules, work or social duties, …<br />
Then, with the information gathered in this step, it's on to the next one: choosing<br />
your best-fit nap routine.<br />
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Step 2 – Choose your baby's nap routine<br />
This is the step where you decide on your best-fit nap routine. Don't feel stressed<br />
about picking one though. No choice has to be definitive and you can always come<br />
back to readjust if necessary.<br />
As a reminder, the 3 nap routine types are “The Clock”, “EPS/ESP” and “Baby rules”.<br />
With “The Clock” your baby naps at the same set times each day. “EPS/ESP” takes it<br />
regularity from following the same pattern of activities throughout the day. With<br />
“Baby rules” you follow baby's lead completely: she'll nap when she needs to and lets<br />
you know.<br />
See section “Three Nap routines” (starts on page 9) for details, pros and cons for each<br />
routine.<br />
To choose your routine: ask yourself<br />
Does the Sleepy Signs Journal show a clear pattern<br />
YES The Sleepy Signs Journal shows a clear pattern<br />
If you find a nice clear preference for one of the three situations described on the<br />
previous page, then your choice is easy.<br />
Go for “The Clock” if your baby is typically on time. Go for “EPS/ESP” if you do not<br />
see timed regularity, but a recurring pattern.<br />
If your baby seems irregular but settles easily and you easily catch her sleepy signs,<br />
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“Baby Rules” will be your a good choice for you.<br />
You can skip the rest of this section and go straight to “Step 3 – Install your baby's<br />
best nap routine” on page 22.<br />
NO The Sleepy Signs Journal does not show a clear pattern<br />
If the journal does not show a clear preference for any one of the 3 routines, by lack<br />
of clear sleepy signs or if she does not manage to sleep during the day at all:<br />
• If your baby is newborn, say under 4-6 weeks old, a pattern routine with<br />
“EPS/ESP” will be the best choice. But go for “Baby Rules” if that feels better<br />
to you. At this age it will be very close to the pattern routine anyway.<br />
• Under 4 months old, use “EPS/ESP”. If you are personally more inclined to<br />
having a stricter schedule, a gently introduced “The Clock” is good too. Use<br />
“Baby rules” only if your baby settles very easily .<br />
• From 4 months and older, introduce a timed schedule, “The Clock”.<br />
• At any age, if you have been struggling with the routine you have right now:<br />
switch to a different one. Say you've been trying a strictly timed schedule<br />
without success, changing to a more flexible “EPS/ESP” pattern routine can<br />
make a huge difference.<br />
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Step 3 – Install your baby's best nap routine<br />
Here's how to guide your baby into the routine you have chosen above. The next<br />
section will then help you further with settling baby to sleep.<br />
“The Clock” - Timed nap schedule<br />
If your baby shows clear sleepy signs at more or less regular times, setting up the<br />
timed nap schedule is easy. You simply use her sleepy times as nap times.<br />
Most important is to prepare for the nap as soon as baby is “almost tired” so she is in<br />
bed by the time she is “readily tired”. This makes it easiest for her to catch sleep and<br />
sleep the longest.<br />
If your baby does not show clear sleepy signs, the timed schedule can be a great help<br />
for both of you. You will choose the nap times yourself and then fine-tune as you go.<br />
How First pin down the nap times:<br />
• Under 6 months old: 1 mid-morning, 1 early afternoon and 1 mid-to-late<br />
afternoon. If 3 naps seems awfully much for your baby, have just 1 mid-morning<br />
and 1 mid-afternoon nap.<br />
• From 6 to 12 months old: 1 mid-morning and 1 mid-afternoon nap.<br />
• From 12 months onward: 1 mid-afternoon nap.<br />
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Even without the clear sleepy signs, do base the precise times on your baby's behavior<br />
as much as possible.<br />
Write down the times (for example 10am, 1pm and 4pm). It will help you arrange and<br />
keep up with the schedule.<br />
Then as you start putting your baby down for naps at these times, see how it goes. If<br />
your baby has trouble settling, she may simply be too tired. Then shift that nap to<br />
earlier.<br />
If she may on the contrary not be tired at all: playing nicely (but not over-actively)<br />
and content. Then shift that nap to a bit later, 15-20 minutes and see how it goes.<br />
Fine-tune your timed schedule like this until it works. Always give each experiment at<br />
least 4-5 days: baby needs time to adjust and set to it.<br />
How strict should you be If you are just starting out with a (new) timed schedule, it's<br />
best to be quite strict. Nap times within 5-10 minutes of the set time are ideal to help<br />
baby get used to the schedule.<br />
Once the schedule runs well, you will have more flexibility. Most depends on your<br />
baby though: some will need the strictest schedule always, others do well as long as<br />
nap is 'near' the scheduled time.<br />
How does the timed schedule evolve Once the timed schedule is set, you may get the<br />
impression that she seems less tired by nap time. Or not tired at all. In that case, do<br />
not give up on the current schedule too quickly, thinking it needs a change.<br />
Most probably it simply shows that your baby is thriving on the schedule. Even if she<br />
has a few days when she does not sleep so easily or as long as usual.<br />
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Sticking to the schedule is by far the best to keep baby on track, also in times of<br />
illness, teething or other sleep disturbances. As soon as the discomfort is relieved she<br />
will go back to sleeping well again, much helped by the regularity of the schedule.<br />
There can – and will – be a need for change every now and then. If you notice that<br />
your baby naps poorly consistently for 1-2 weeks or wakes up crying and upset after<br />
each nap then you may need to adjust the schedule.<br />
You may need to skip a nap (go from 2 to 1 naps for example), or simply shift one to<br />
earlier or later. You will know by observing your child very closely again. Use the<br />
Sleepy Signs Journal again to help you with that.<br />
page 24
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“EPS/ESP” - Pattern nap routine<br />
If you choose a pattern nap routine, baby goes through cycles of Eat-Play-Sleep or<br />
Eat-Sleep-Play all day.<br />
Every sleep moment is a nap. Setting up the routine is easy. Just make a habit of<br />
feeding right after baby wakes, and then let her play before the next nap.<br />
Or you feed right before the nap (typical when nursing to sleep) and then consistently<br />
let her play, or have any other awake activity, before the next meal.<br />
Keep a very close eye on baby's behavior to avoid over-tiredness at all cost (see Table<br />
2). When baby is “almost tired” it is time to prepare for the nap (diaper change,<br />
bedtime routine, ...). “Readily tired” is when she should be down in the crib/bed as<br />
that is easiest for settling.<br />
How does the pattern nap routine evolve The pattern routine automatically adjusts<br />
to your baby's changing needs of feeding and sleeping.<br />
As your baby grows, typically from 4-6 months onwards, her days become more and<br />
more regular. You will then most easily move to a timed schedule (see above). But of<br />
course there is no 'must do' here. As long as your baby naps well on the pattern<br />
routine there is no hurry to change things over.<br />
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“Baby Rules” - Baby-centered routine<br />
The baby-centered routine needs not much setting up. You simply follow your baby's<br />
lead and put her down for a nap when she is “readily tired”. That can be at different<br />
times every day and for a different amount of naps.<br />
One trap you do want to avoid is putting baby down for too many short naps. Five 1-<br />
hour naps can still work out for baby and give her the rest she needs. But if you find<br />
yourself with 6 or more half-hour naps then you may need to guide baby towards<br />
fewer, longer naps.<br />
How does the baby-centered routine evolve As long as both you and your baby are<br />
happy with the routine there is no need to change it around.<br />
If you notice that baby's sleep, also at night, becomes poorer – and it's not because of<br />
an illness or teething – it may be time for a more structured routine like a pattern<br />
routine or a timed schedule (see above, page 9).<br />
The next section gives you techniques to help your baby actually settle for sleep in<br />
her nap routine.<br />
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Chapter 4. Settling for naps<br />
T<br />
he right nap routine is the best guarantee to help your baby settle and sleep<br />
well at naps. The regularity and recognizability truly help baby with this, both<br />
physically and mentally.<br />
But if you are just starting out, your baby may not simply go down and sleep at nap<br />
time.<br />
She may not have learned to self soothe yet or her sleep patterns may not be welladapted<br />
yet.<br />
Once your baby is 6-7 months and older, you will want to work on self soothing with<br />
her. You can start earlier of course. Do not expect much before 4 months though<br />
unless your baby is a natural self soother. At any age, progressive gentle self soothing<br />
techniques are most efficient.<br />
At any time when self soothing is not a success yet, my “Baby Sling Trick” is a<br />
powerful technique to help your baby settle for regular naps.<br />
The Baby Sling Trick<br />
The Baby Sling Trick is named after its original version, using a baby sling. But you can<br />
do it with any carrier that is comfortable and safe for baby to sleep in while being on<br />
the move, like a good stroller or car seat.<br />
You can use it at any age when your baby has a hard time settling for naps. For a<br />
newborn and up to 2-3 months though it does not make much sense as baby's daily<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
schedule is still too erratic. But from 4 months and up is good.<br />
The idea is to help your baby settle at the chosen nap moments following your chosen<br />
nap routine. Not forever, but for a week or two, enough to help your baby's body get<br />
used to sleeping at these moments. Once the routine is set, it is much easier to settle<br />
in the crib/bed by herself.<br />
How to ...<br />
How to get started: work with the 3 steps in the sections above to set up your baby's<br />
nap routine. When a nap is coming up, put baby in the sling, stroller, car seat, … and<br />
go out for a walk or a drive.<br />
If you choose to use the sling, you can also stay at home and get some chores done.<br />
You just want to be moving when baby needs to settle, and also at half-awake<br />
moments to help keep her asleep.<br />
These are your 2 aims:<br />
• Help baby settle,<br />
• Get baby through from the first to the second sleep cycle.<br />
In-between sleep cycles, there is a brief half-awake moment. It is a fragile moment at<br />
which a baby who is not used to sleeping through it, easily awakes.<br />
Being on the move around that moment is a top technique to keep baby asleep. Doing<br />
it regularly helps teach baby's body to sleep from one cycle to the next.<br />
You can do this at every nap time but if there are 2 or more a day that may not be<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
practical.<br />
Then you can pick one nap, the same one every day, and go for the walk or drive<br />
then.<br />
At the other nap(s), practice putting baby down in the crib/bed. Help her settle<br />
and/or work with the self soothing method mentioned above. The combination of the<br />
Baby Sling Trick with self soothing practice will give the very best results in the end –<br />
given your baby is at least 4 to 6 months old<br />
Do the moving-at-nap-time consistently for at least a week to two weeks. Then start<br />
putting baby in the crib/bed again at that specific nap time. Settling and sleeping for<br />
longer should now have become easier.<br />
You can make the smoothest transition by alternating sling with crib/bed daily at<br />
first, then stick to the crib/bed more and more often.<br />
If you see little improvement, give it a rest for a good week and then try again.<br />
Spoiling baby<br />
Many parents are a bit reluctant to carry their child too much for fear of spoiling. But<br />
if you are careful and do not exaggerate there is little risk.<br />
Remember that experts agree that a baby is not spoilt until at least 8 months old. Yes<br />
she can get used to certain habits but when guided well, she can easily transition out<br />
of them again. There is not “bad” spoiling.<br />
When doing the Baby Sling Trick, just keep in mind to also give your baby plenty of<br />
opportunity to practice sleeping in the crib/bed as well, at other naps or at night.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 5. The Nap Tips List<br />
A Baby's naps will only improve.<br />
pply as many of the practical tips in this list as suit your baby and your situation.<br />
1. A BEDTIME ROUTINE<br />
At any age, have a bedtime routine before every sleep moment. If you do not have a<br />
set always-the-same bedtime routine that is fun and relaxing for baby and you, get<br />
started with one now.<br />
Whether for naps or night time, a bedtime routine is a crucial help for your baby to<br />
settle for a good sleep. Baby recognizes the routine and becomes used to<br />
doing/hearing the same things right before sleeping. That physically helps her settle.<br />
A bedtime routine is a set of actions and words you go through each time you put baby<br />
to bed. It typically includes announcing bedtime, changing diapers and clothes,<br />
walking and talking softly towards the bedroom, a lullaby and a kiss goodnight.<br />
Make sure to include something fun and interesting for your baby, without exciting her<br />
too much. This can be her favorite lullaby, a kiss goodnight to a favorite toy, …<br />
Remember to keep it short, 5-10 minutes, with a clear beginning and end.<br />
What if baby does not self soothe yet A bedtime routine is just as important, if not<br />
more important, if your baby does not settle all by herself yet. Maybe you nurse or<br />
rock her to sleep, or use the Baby Sling Trick (see higher).<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Simply go through the bedtime routine right before you start nursing, rocking,<br />
walking, … This way baby automatically comes to link the bedtime routine with<br />
sleeping. And that will be the biggest help for self settling later on.<br />
2. PRACTICE SELF SOOTHING<br />
Self soothing is not only important for baby to settle independently when going down<br />
for a nap. It is also crucial to sleep for a decent, longer nap, because she can then<br />
sleep through brief half-awake moments.<br />
So when your baby is 4 months old, and definitely from 6-7 months, practice self<br />
soothing regularly, even if you usually hold or rock baby to sleep. Follow the<br />
guidelines in part 1 of this book for best results.<br />
3. SAME PLACE, SAME ENVIRONMENT<br />
Napping is easiest for baby if she recognizes her sleep environment. The same room,<br />
same crib/bed, same toys and decoration, …<br />
So it is best to put baby down for naps in the same place every time. This can be the<br />
same as for nights, but it can also be different. Some parents take to the habit of<br />
having baby sleep in the living room for naps, then in the bedroom for nights. That<br />
can work well too.<br />
If you are on the move – traveling or visiting friends or family – mimic baby's home<br />
situation as much as possible. Even simply taking the musical mobile and the favorite<br />
soft animal can be enough.<br />
Of course, wherever you are, do the same bedtime routine as at home too.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
4. LIGHT OR DARK<br />
If your baby is under 3 months and still working to adjust to a regular day/night<br />
rhythm, it's a good idea to have her nap in a room that is not completely dark. This<br />
helps encourage the daily rhythm of sleeping more at night and being more awake<br />
during the day. See The Complete Newborn Sleep Guide for full details on how to<br />
encourage this rhythm.<br />
Once your baby has a good rhythm set, or simply sleeps better in the dark, it is fine to<br />
have her nap in a darkened room similar to at night.<br />
5. BURPING TIME, BURP IN TIME<br />
If you feed baby right before a nap make sure there is enough time to burp if<br />
necessary. A few minutes of sitting up and a diaper change are usually enough.<br />
Even if you nurse baby to sleep, hold for upright and move a little to make sure she<br />
can burp if necessary.<br />
6. A DRY DIAPER<br />
A wet diaper is a very common cause of waking up early from a nap. So it is a good<br />
idea to change the diaper right before, or as close to, the nap as possible. A clean dry<br />
feel makes baby most comfortable and gives the best chances for a longer restful nap.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
7. THE IDEAL NAP ROUTINE<br />
If you have followed the steps in this guide you must have found the best nap routine<br />
for your baby right now. Sticking to it consistently will give the best naps.<br />
Avoid giving up too quickly: a couple of lesser days are usually not due to the nap<br />
routine.<br />
Teething, illness and the likes can all cause the poorer sleep. In fact, it is sticking to<br />
the regular routine that will give baby the best chances to go back to sleeping well<br />
once the disturbance has past.<br />
But still, it is good to allow some flexibility too. Trust your instincts and keep<br />
observing baby's needs: that will help you adjust her nap routine if necessary.<br />
8. GIVE BABY TIME<br />
Give baby, and yourself, time to adjust to a new nap routine or any other change you<br />
make.<br />
As a rule of thumb, give everything you try at least 3-5 days and a week or more for<br />
bigger changes, like a completely new schedule.<br />
Teaching your baby to sleep well is not a quick fix – it is long term results that we are<br />
working on. And these are more than worth some patience.<br />
9. KEEP THE JOURNAL<br />
I know it would be easier to skip the journal but writing down your baby's sleepy signs<br />
in the sleep journal is very important. You will learn more from it than you expect.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
See the section “Step 1 – Discover your baby's nap needs” on page 16, for full details.<br />
10. QUICK-PICK NAP ROUTINE<br />
If you don't have the time or do not want to go through the 3 steps completely: go for<br />
the timed nap routine (see page 10). It is the all-time favorite that works for most<br />
babies and gives the most consistent results. Under 4 months old it may still be a bit<br />
unstable, but later on it's a winner.<br />
Also: if in doubt, go for “The Clock”.<br />
11. MAKE ROOM FOR THE ROUTINE<br />
When first establishing a new routine: arrange your day around it, not vice-versa.<br />
That may mean that you have to skip a weekly playgroup, siblings activities or a<br />
planned shopping trip …<br />
Don't worry, it's only temporary. Consistency is key and may be the only way to make a<br />
new routine work. But once your baby is well used to the routine there is room for<br />
more flexibility.<br />
12. DUMMY SELF-SERVICE<br />
If your baby has a pacifier to sleep, start teaching her to put it back in from a very<br />
young age.<br />
Do this by playing a game: baby has to find the dummy and you cheer enthusiastically<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
for her to put it back in all alone. You can also hide the dummy a bit so it also<br />
becomes a hide-and-seek game ... This is all perfect practice for later on when,<br />
during a nap or at night, the dummy falls out.<br />
13. I LOVE MY CRIB!<br />
Make your baby's sleeping environment fun and pleasant. That does not mean it has to<br />
be full of toys. A simple soft decoration with a few (soft) toys and a musical mobile<br />
are perfect.<br />
Spend some time in the bedroom with your baby, make positive comments on her<br />
room/crib/bed. That does not mean playing games in the crib: that may be confusing<br />
when she needs to sleep in it. It's rather about making it a place that feels good to<br />
her: fun, safe, relaxing.<br />
14. WHEN TO SKIP A NAP<br />
How do you know when to go from 3 to 2 naps, or from 2 to 1 …<br />
For most children, that happens automatically. You just notice that one nap becomes<br />
shorter and shorter consistently and baby just doesn't seem to need it anymore.<br />
Be careful though: not napping at one given nap several times is not a clear sign that<br />
it has to be skipped. Other reasons are usually more likely (a bad day, teething, …).<br />
Shorter nights are not a fool-proof reason that a nap has to go either – often on the<br />
contrary.<br />
An easy rule of thumb: always insist on keeping the nap. That means keep putting<br />
baby down for it. You can try some fine-tuning to a little earlier or later to see if it<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
fits baby better.<br />
If despite your continued efforts, the nap still seems bound to disappear: that is a<br />
good sign that it can go.<br />
Key ages for skipping naps: around 4-6 months many babies go from 3 to 2 naps a day.<br />
Towards 12 months is when most go from 2 to 1 nap.<br />
15. AVOID OVER-TIREDNESS<br />
Being over-tired is what makes it hardest for baby to settle for nap. Observe your<br />
baby closely to learn to recognize her sleepy signs (see Table 2 on page 18) timely.<br />
This way you will avoid putting her down too late.<br />
16. AVOID HALF-NAPS BEFORE THE REAL NAP<br />
If your baby falls asleep shortly before her nap starts – for example during a walk or in<br />
the car – it will be difficult to get her to nap for the full nap after that. She may not<br />
be ready to nap at all anymore.<br />
If you are on the move when a nap is almost coming up: try to keep baby awake. This<br />
can be difficult though – try keeping your eyes open when you are mercilessly dozing<br />
off … If baby does fall asleep in the stroller, car or sling, let her continue the nap<br />
there if at all possible.<br />
And if you can, avoid the situation in the future.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 6. Problem solving<br />
I<br />
f you are having a specific nap problem, read on for help on how to improve your<br />
baby's nap situation. I have included the 5 most<br />
More nap problem solving<br />
common nap problems.<br />
A perfect-fit nap routine solves more than half of all<br />
nap issues. You may need a whole new routine, or<br />
simply fine-tune what you have right now. The stepby-step<br />
method of this guide helps you do exactly<br />
that.<br />
1. BABY TAKES ONLY SHORT NAPS<br />
For my detailed advice in specific reallife<br />
situations, see the document “SOS<br />
NAPS”: a compilation of 20 real-life<br />
nap questions and my personalized<br />
answers.<br />
“SOS Naps” is included as a free bonus<br />
to this guide.<br />
Contact e-publish@baby-sleepadvice.com<br />
if you have not received<br />
the bonus yet.<br />
If your baby is only ever taking short naps of 30-45 minutes there are two possibilities.<br />
First, but least likely, your baby may simply be a short napper. If she gets enough<br />
sleep overall, is happy and content all day and it is doable for you to put her down for<br />
the nap often enough, there is no reason to worry or change anything.<br />
More likely is that your baby wakes up after her first sleep cycle. Like ours, baby's<br />
sleep comes in cycles with repeated phases of light and deep sleep. Depending on<br />
baby's age, a typical sleep cycle lasts 45-60 minutes on average, sometimes shorter.<br />
Then the next cycle starts.<br />
In-between two sleep cycles, there is a brief half-awake moment. It is a fragile<br />
moment at which baby easily wakes up. If she is not 100% comfortable (wet diaper,<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
too hot, too cold, hungry …) or her body just has not yet learned to sleep through<br />
from one cycle to the other.<br />
So start with the comfort: ensure a clean dry diaper right before the nap, the right<br />
constant temperature in the room, a baby sleeping bag to keep baby at a constant<br />
temperature too, …<br />
If naps remain short, use the Baby Sling Trick (see page 27) and/or this technique to<br />
help her through to the next cycle:<br />
About 5 minutes before she'll usually wake (say 40 minutes after first going down), go<br />
to her. Be very quiet so as not to wake her. Then very gently do something you know<br />
comforts her: stroke her forehead, hold her by the shoulders, place your hand on her<br />
belly, …<br />
The idea is to be so soft en gentle that baby does not wake up. On the contrary, your<br />
reassuring presence and touch can help her stay asleep into the next cycle.<br />
This technique may not work the first time you try it. It takes some experimenting but<br />
once you get the hang of it, it is a very powerful way to help your baby sleep for<br />
longer stretches.<br />
2. TODDLER SUDDENLY REFUSES TO NAP<br />
When your toddler suddenly starts refusing a nap, the first idea is to see if it's time to<br />
skip a nap.<br />
Indeed, if he is still taking 2 or more daily naps then leaving one out is the most likely<br />
solution. Simply leave that nap out, and rearrange the remaining nap(s) for a nicely<br />
balanced day.<br />
But if there was only one remaining nap, and you know he still needs it to get through<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
the day comfortably, you should keep it.<br />
Look out for simple causes for the sudden nap problems: more noise on the street or<br />
at the neighbor's Very hot or very cold in the bedroom Has he just transitioned to a<br />
toddler bed Anything stressful happened lately (like a new baby brother or sister,<br />
moving house, …)<br />
Take away any possible cause of discomfort or sleep troubles. If a stressful situation is<br />
at hand, focus on reassuring your toddler by spending some extra quality time and<br />
talking to him about it (these little ones often understand more than we think!).<br />
Re-visit the nap routine. Use the 3 steps in this guide (starting at page 15) to arrange<br />
the best nap routine for your toddler right now.<br />
Furthermore, a sticker reward chart is a very powerful technique to help your toddler<br />
nap better again. You can download free reward charts online along with a how-to for<br />
best results.<br />
3. BABY SETTLES FOR THE NIGHT BUT NOT FOR NAPS<br />
Being able to self soothe is a great skill for baby to have. If she is able to settle alone<br />
at night time bedtime, that is wonderful. It is something to cherish and to keep<br />
encouraging.<br />
It means that baby could self soothe at naps too.<br />
First of all, see if there are any differences between going down for the night or for a<br />
nap.<br />
Maybe at night the room is darker, quieter, colder, a sibling in the room, … Mimic the<br />
night situation as much as possible when baby goes down for a nap. That includes the<br />
bedtime routine you do before putting her down.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Another possibility is that baby is too tired by the time she goes down for the nap.<br />
Over-tiredness makes it extra difficult to self soothe to sleep. Use Table 2 on page 18<br />
to help you recognize your baby's early sleepy signs. Then make sure she goes down<br />
readily tired, well before getting over-tired.<br />
You may need to go through the 3 step process (starting on page 15) to arrange a<br />
better fitting nap routine: “Three Steps to Nap in a Snap”.<br />
4. DIFFICULT TO FOLLOW TIMED SCHEDULE BECAUSE MORNING WAKE UP<br />
VARIES<br />
As long as nights are not fully consistent yet, baby's day may not start at the same<br />
time every day. This varying start of the day can make it difficult to follow your nap<br />
routine, especially if it is a timed schedule.<br />
To avoid this, it is best to try and squeeze baby into the timed schedule as early as<br />
possible in the day. That may mean keeping her up for a little longer until the first<br />
nap, or shorten the first awake time, feeding sooner after the previous feed, …<br />
These are all OK to do as long as it is not too hard on baby: it's no use to stretch until<br />
the next nap if it only means baby is so over-tired she's all upset and unable to settle<br />
… But gently and flexibly wriggle yourselves into the right schedule.<br />
The regularity of the day will in turn help to have more regular nights so after a while<br />
both night and day schedule will seamlessly fit.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
5. BABY NAPS TOO MUCH<br />
• If your baby is healthy and sleeps well at night, napping a lot during the day is<br />
not an issue. Some babies simply need a lot of sleep.<br />
• If your baby suddenly starts sleeping much more than she used to, that may be<br />
a sign that she is (about to become) ill.<br />
No need to panic, even a simple common cold can cause this. But do keep a<br />
close eye on your baby and consult your doctor if you have any doubt about her<br />
health.<br />
If the sleeping too much continues for a week of more, see your doctor for a<br />
health check in any case.<br />
• Napping too much also happens in a reversed day/night rhythm. Your baby<br />
would then nap a lot but sleep little during the night.<br />
If that is your case you can instill a good day/night rhythm: make sure your<br />
baby feels the difference between night and day. Dress her in clothes, not<br />
pajamas, in the morning. Open the curtains, switch on the lights. Be active,<br />
talk cheerfully, have music on, …<br />
Then when night comes, dim the lights, keep voices and music at lower<br />
volumes, …<br />
These cues are a proven way to help baby adjust to our day and night rhythm.<br />
Also, adjust baby's routine: see if you can stretch the time between too naps<br />
little by little. Go gradually, even a couple of minutes per day, can be a good<br />
start. Combined with the cues you will see good improvement.<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 7. Appendix: Sleepy Signs Journal<br />
U<br />
se the Sleepy Signs Journal to record your child's sleepy signs during the day. It<br />
is the key to discover the best nap routine.<br />
Once you have kept the journal for several days, consult “Three Steps to Nap in a<br />
Snap“ (page 15) for details on how to use your findings.<br />
How to record your journal<br />
Time: the time or time span of when you observe.<br />
Activity: sleeping, waking up, feeding, out for a walk, playing on the floor with<br />
daddy, …<br />
Behavior & Sleepy Signs: how is your child right now Relaxed, fussy, laughing, very<br />
active, … Use Table 2 on page 18 for help with recognizing Sleepy Signs like staring,<br />
yawning, rubbing eyes, …<br />
Awake/Tired Level: again using Table 2 on page 18, choose what best describes your<br />
child right now: happily awake, almost tired, readily tired, over-tired. These levels<br />
will be your best guide to find the right nap routine. Record asleep during naps or<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
night time sleep.<br />
Remarks: anything special today A cold, grandma visiting, vaccination, …<br />
See the following page for example entries.<br />
Getting Started<br />
Print the empty template journal below as often as you need to keep the journal for<br />
several days.<br />
Or download the free app to your Android device and keep your Sleepy Signs Journal<br />
conveniently on your phone or tablet.<br />
page 43
Nap in a Snap<br />
Nap in a Snap – Example Sleepy Signs Journal<br />
DAY Fri, Jun 17, 11<br />
Time Activity Behavior & Sleepy<br />
Signs<br />
Awake/Tired Level<br />
Remarks<br />
6.00am Wakes up, breakfast (nursing) Happy, smiling Happily awake Woke up 3 times to<br />
feed during the night<br />
(11pm, 1am and<br />
3am)<br />
6.30-8am On the floor, playing Seems relaxed at<br />
first but starts<br />
squirming towards<br />
8am<br />
A little fussy around<br />
8am<br />
8.30am<br />
With me on the sofa,<br />
'chatting'<br />
Active but seems<br />
uncomfortable,<br />
maybe hungry<br />
Almost tired<br />
<br />
9.00am Nursing Dozes off at the<br />
breast, wakes up to<br />
nurse, dozes off, …<br />
Fussy<br />
<br />
9.30am On the floor Cries, uncomfortable Over-tired<br />
10.00am In the crib Refuses to sleep, only<br />
sleeps after rocking<br />
for 30 minutes, then<br />
sleeps for 40 minutes<br />
Over-tired<br />
Lisa over for coffee<br />
... ... ... ... ...<br />
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Nap in a Snap<br />
Nap in a Snap – Sleepy Signs Journal<br />
DAY<br />
Time Activity Behavior &<br />
Sleepy Signs<br />
Awake/Tired<br />
Level<br />
Remarks<br />
page 45
Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 8. About the author<br />
H<br />
eidi Holvoet, PhD is a professional sleep parenting consultant, author and<br />
founder of Baby-Sleep-Advice.com.<br />
Baby-Sleep-Advice.com is the online resource for everything related to baby and<br />
toddler sleep. Heidi authors articles about best practices to get the most sleep for<br />
both parents and children – all backed up by research and a thorough understanding of<br />
sleep.<br />
Heidi's sleep parenting creed is “There is no magic”. No single sleep solution works<br />
for every baby in every family. A baby and her family are unique and so is the best<br />
method to help her sleep.<br />
Heidi's mission is to guide you towards the best method for your child and family. This<br />
starts with the basic facts and guidelines towards situation-specific advice.<br />
On the site:<br />
• Parents receive personalized advice to their specific situation through the Ask A<br />
Question on the site and private online counseling services.<br />
• Discover how others are dealing with their sleep issues through parent stories<br />
and sleep diaries and let them reassure you by simply showing that you are not<br />
alone.<br />
• Product reviews give the unbiased experienced advice by Heidi and other<br />
page 46
Nap in a Snap<br />
parents about which products help their children sleep better and make our<br />
lives more comfortable.<br />
• The free monthly newsletter, tweets and facebook updates keep visitors tuned<br />
with all the latest on the site:<br />
Subscribe to the newsletter:<br />
http://www.baby-sleep-advice.com/baby-sleep-advice-newsletter.html<br />
Join Baby Sleep Advice on Facebook:<br />
http://www.facebook.com/BabySleepAdvice<br />
Follow Baby Sleep Advice on Twitter:<br />
http://twitter.com/BabySleepAdvice.<br />
page 47
Nap in a Snap<br />
Chapter 9. More books by Heidi Holvoet<br />
Also in the No-Tears series ...<br />
“I doubt we'd be anywhere near sleeping through without this book.”<br />
Used and approved by parents worldwide “No-Tears Sleeping<br />
Through the Night” guides you through Heidi Holvoet's 3-step<br />
program to go from 1, 2 or more unnecessary night awakenings to<br />
none at all.<br />
Starting from the must-do basics for longer nights, you will discover<br />
and understand the many possible wake-up causes. Next you will<br />
apply one or more of the gentle effective techniques to make<br />
sleeping through possible.<br />
Download<br />
“Pleasant to read, easy to do and above all: it really works!”<br />
Self soothing is the single most important sleeping skill to have.<br />
It is the key to sleeping through the night and the basis for healthy<br />
sleep as a child and later as an adult.<br />
“No-Tears Self Soothing” takes you through the necessary steps to<br />
teach your baby or toddler to settle independently.<br />
By doing the 3 steps, you naturally and automatically adapt the<br />
action plan and techniques to fit your baby's maturity and ability as<br />
well as your own family situation for best results.<br />
Download<br />
page 48