TRANSCRIPT OF A PRESENTATION, BY ALAN BADMINGTON, TO ...

and ceremony. I knew it didn’t really matter if I stuttered – it was only an
unimportant trial run.
The positive forces had reinforced each other to create a benign hexagon –
one in which the need to hold back was not an issue. Thus I had little, if
any, difficulty with the hitherto dreaded words when giving the oath and
then continued to recite my evidence in a like manner. I knew that I would
not be challenged by any hostile party.
As I was not holding back, I did not create the block. I was not fearful of
what I would expose when I spoke. WHAT A CONTRAST.
Let us also examine what happened at my wedding some years later. I
knew from experience that when someone else spoke, or read, at the same
time as myself I would, invariably, not encounter speaking difficulties. I
made good use of this when it came time to say my wedding vows. In our
pre-ceremony meetings with the vicar, we came to an arrangement
whereby he would recite a line and then repeat it quietly when I was saying
it.
What I didn’t bargain for was my caring bride who, in order to ensure I
didn’t have any problems, also joined in saying my vows. So you can just
imagine it – the vicar would say a line and then ALL THREE OF US would
repeat it. Of course, mine was the loudest and most prominent voice – the
other two merely whispered. But I was aware of the support. No one else
realised what we were doing and everything went perfectly.
Now let us examine that episode.
I believed I could speak when someone else spoke at the same time as
myself as (in my eyes) I was not the centre of attention. Like many
persons who stutter, I felt uncomfortable hearing the sound of my own
voice – associating it with all the shame and embarrassment I had
experienced over the years.