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HK MAGAZINE NO.1060 FRIDAY, September 5, 2014 www.hk-magazine.com 

LAND THE JOB YOU WERE BORN FOR

PAGE 3 

Predicting 

Hong Kong 

No one knows what’s going to happen between 

now and 2047—especially not after the CCP 

announced its “conservative” guidelines for the 

2017 CE election. Well, no one knows but us. 

We’ve peered into the HK Magazine office crystal 

ball to give you a glimpse into Hong Kong’s future. 

12 

COVER STORY 

Take our awesome career questionnaire 

2017 The first Chief Executive election by “universal 

suffrage” sees unparalleled 103 percent support for 

incumbent Chief Executive Leung Chun-ying, as voters 

are ushered into voting booths with promises of free 

rice boxes. 

2018 Pan-democrats whine a lot this year, but Beijing 

brushes it off like it ain’t a thing. 

2019 CY Leung holds press conference to publicly 

repent for his sins: he will be filling in his basement 

forthwith. 

2025 Long Hair finally allowed into China wearing 

“Remember June 4” t-shirt. Pan-dems celebrate the 

dawn on a new era of openness and tolerance. 

2026 Single “Remember June 4” t-shirt washes up in Sai 

Kung bay. 

2027 Chief Executive election goes without a hitch. 

The three candidates: Glorious Motherland Wong (CCP), 

Cadre Ip (Hong Kong Patriot Party), and ex-Macau CE 

Fernando Chui (The Communist Party of the SARs), 

who wins handily. 

Who’s in charge 

Publisher and General Manager Greg Crandall 

Editor-in-Chief Zach Hines 

Managing Editor Sarah Fung 

Editor Adam White 

Features Editor Kate Springer 

Senior Associate Editor Adele Wong 

Online & Social Media Manager Katie Kenny 

Staff Writers Andrea Lo, Evelyn Lok, 

Charlotte Mulliner 

Reporter Yannie Chan 

Web Developer Timothy Cheng 

Director of Sales Gary Wong 

Strategic Sales Director Jan Cheng 

Associate Advertising Director Joe Ng 

Senior Sales Manager Joyce Wu 

Senior Advertising Manager Kent Ma 

Advertising Managers Dominic Lucien Brettell, 

Keiko Ko, Rita Ng 

Assistant Advertising Manager Arena Choi 

Advertising Executives Harriette Cheung, Lamy Lam, 

Winnie Cheng 

Advertising Coordinator Christine So 

2029 All members of Falun Gong raptured, to general 

surprise and relief. Live vivisection industry takes a hit. 

2031 Outraged that the Joint Declaration has been 

trampled on, the United Kingdom Remnant 

Government-in-Exile in Paris writes a sternly 

worded letter to the SCMP. 

2035 Court of Final Appeal moved to Tianjin 

Special Experimental Judicial Zone. 

2040-2044 Occupational administration of the Zarvax 

Empire. Everyone toils in the salt mines to sustain the 

salt-based life of planet Zarvax. Pan-dems agree that life 

is hard, but it’s still better than CCP rule. 

2045 CCP proposes a reform bill so the final two 

years of “One Country, Two Systems” are straight-up 

international-standard democracy, as a full-on fuckyou. 

Monument to the heroes of the Zarvax Liberation 

erected in Statue Square. 

2046 Li Ka-shing dies. 

2047 Hong Kong officially expires. Massive exhale 

of relief ripples through Zhongnanhai. 

Finance Manager Karen Tsang 

Assistant Finance Manager Penny Cheng 

Senior Accountant Alex Fung 

Internal Compliance Officer Lucy Wong 

Accountant Wilke Ng 

Assistant Accountant Coa Wong, Edwin Lee 

Administrator Roy Lam 

I.T. Manager Derek Wong 

Messenger Li Sau-king 

Cover by Cecilia Cheng 

26 

dish 

Hong Kong’s 

most coolest, 

most artiest cafés 

20 

Mid-autumn 

It’s not all moons 

and mooncakes, 

you know 

29 

sundance film fest 

The film festival 

to end all festivals 

comes to Hong Kong 

Production Manager Blackie Hui 

Art Director Pierre Pang 

Senior Graphic Designer Mike Hung 

Graphic Designers Cecilia Cheng, Iris Mak, 

Ryan Chan, Siu-Fa Wong, Tammy Tan 

Production Supervisor Kelly Cheung 

Where to find us! 

Marketing & PR Manager James Gannaban 

Marketing & Circulation Executive 

Charmaine Mirandilla 

Accounts Services Executive Sharon Cheung 

32 

upclose 

Jammin’ with the 

SAR’s only Canto 

reggae band 

HK Magazine Media Ltd. 

302 Hollywood Centre 

233 Hollywood Road, Hong Kong 

Tel: 852-2850-5065 

Fax: 852-2543-1880 

E-mail: hk@hkmagmedia.com 

Before you decide to purchase or use the products and/or 

services that our magazine introduces, you should gather 

further information about the same in addition to the 

representations or advertising content in our magazine. The 

content in articles by guest authors are the author’s personal 

views only and do not represent the position of our magazine 

or our company. Please gather further information about the 

products and/or services before you decide to purchase or 

use the same. 

Look us up! 

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HK Magazine is published 52 times a year by 

HK Magazine Media Ltd., GPO Box 12618, Hong Kong. Copyright 

2014 HK Magazine Media Ltd. The title “HK Magazine,” its 

associated logos or devices, and the content of HK Magazine 

are the property of HK Magazine Media Ltd. Reproduction in 

whole or part without permission is strictly prohibited. Article 

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Use your iPad's QR scanner app 

to download our tablet version, 

with all the photos, trailers and 

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@hk_magazine 

46 

first person 

Artist Simon 

Birch sets the 

record straight 

34 

film 

“Temporary Family:” 

is it worth a 

temporary glance 

HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, September 5, 2014 3

mailbag 

Mr. Know-It-All’s Guide to Life 

Dear Mr. Know-It-All, 

What else goes on during the Mid-Autumn Festival, 

aside from just staring at the moon – Bored of Gazing 

Robert Ng/SCMP 

Your kid could 

have done that 

As if 

Our tablet app: Out Now! 

Ah, the Mid-Autumn Festival. That special 

time of lunar appreciation, calorific 

overload… and pyromania. 

Traditionally, having finished one’s 

mooncakes, the empty mooncake tin is put 

to a second use. In the upturned lids and tins, 

kids engage in the age-old tradition of bo lap 

( 煲蠟 ), which means “boiling candles,” and is 

known in English as “wax burning.” 

Thankfully, this isn’t the kind of wax play 

that crops up in unfortunate Google Image 

searches. Instead, kids fool around with 

the characteristic red candles that are so 

ubiquitous this time of year, building towers of 

wax as they watch the flames dance alongside 

each other, lit by the white light of the moon. 

Take it from Mr. Know-It-All: there’s nothing 

more fun than fooling around with wax. 

But of course, there’s a darker side to 

playing with fire. A second approach to wax 

burning doesn’t end with a sculpture or two. 

Instead, the candle wax is heated alongside 

scraps of paper in the mooncake tin until it’s a 

bubbling, boiling mass with a flame creeping 

along the top. At this point, you throw a cup 

Playing with fire the sensible way 

of water into the tin. As it’s denser than 

wax, the water sinks to the bottom of the 

mooncake tin. The wax is well over 100°C, and 

so the water vaporizes as it hits the bottom, 

expanding from a liquid to a gas. It explodes 

outward, throwing tiny droplets of wax into the 

air—hot wax which turns into a giant fireball. 

This is a very stupid thing to do, obviously. 

In years past it’s contributed to 1) lots of 

wax everywhere the morning after the 

Mid-Autumn Festival and 2) plenty of visits 

to the hospital burns unit on the night-of. 

In recent years, education campaigns 

and more police patrols have cut down 

on the incidents. Oh—and it’s now illegal. 

Under Section 23A of the Pleasure Grounds 

Regulation 2000, it is an offence to “sprinkle 

or pour any liquid onto any hot wax, in such a 

manner as to cause or as to be likely to cause 

a risk of injury to any person or damage to 

any property.” Offenders face a maximum 

penalty of a $2,000 fine and 14 days in jail. 

Pyromaniacs, you have been warned. Maybe 

stick to the candle-gazing, and catch a video 

on YouTube instead: tiny.cc/hk-bolap. 

Your Faces, Voices, Buckets: 

“There is no need for ice or selfpromotion—just 

write a cheque.” 

Flat Out Awful 

One distraught reader wrote in 

to complain about the woes of 

finding a flat in the SAR. 

I just want to roar that as an HK citizen (born 

in the 80s), finding a flat is a nightmare. 

Even if you have the money for the start, 

you will be scared by the craziness of the 

current price. What can we do Be forever 

homeless I think many people are now 

thinking about emigrating to anywhere 

except HK. 

Eva Tsui Jordan 

via email 

Letter of 

the Week 

Ice Bucket Rebuttal 

HK Magazine took on the Ice Bucket 

Challenge to raise money and awareness 

for ALS—also known as Lou Gehrig’s 

disease. In turn, we nominated District 

Councilor Paul Zimmerman to take part. 

Here’s his response. 

Mr. Know-It-All answers your questions and quells your urban concerns. 

Send queries, troubles or problems to mrkia@hkmagmedia.com. 

#PrivateEyeHK 

No To Che 

Our cover featuring Che Guevara’s 

likeness [“Where are Hong Kong’s New 

Revolutionaries” Aug 29, Issue 1057] caused 

a stir among some of our Facebook fans. 

I hope they’re not genocidal maniacs like 

the one whose outline you printed. 

Marcin Rutecki 

Che Guevara the mass murderer, no thanks! 

Please choose a better image! 

Laurent Lameck 

I have been challenged by HK Magazine to 

put an ice bucket over my head and to write 

a cheque in support of ALS patients. I will do 

that with a donation to the Hong Kong 

Neuro-Muscular Disease Association. I take 

this opportunity to nominate all of you to do 

the same. There is no need for ice or selfpromotion—just 

write a cheque. Go to 

www.hknmda.org.hk for address details. 

Paul Zimmerman 

via Facebook 

See the video here: tiny.cc/hk-alszim 

Got something to say Write us! 

Invisible Highway in the Sky 

Photo by Adam Weirick 

Our letter of the week will win a $500 voucher to 

spend at Kinsale—Kennedy Town’s new waterfront 

hangout. From the same team behind Solas, Kila, Rula 

Bula and Rayne, the 3,000-square-foot restaurant 

serves up comfort food in cool surrounds. 

Shop 3, G/F, New Fortune House, 3-5 New Praya, 

Kennedy Town, 2796-6004. 

4 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, September 5, 2014

THE WEEK 

Fri 

THU 

TUE 

Friday 9/5 

Sound Off 

Start the weekend with some class at the 

HK Phil’s Season Opening. On the bill: 

Brahms’s powerful first piano concerto, the 

prelude to Wagner’s “Tristan and Isolde” and 

Strauss’s “Rosenkavalier Suite.” It’s going to 

rock. Or maybe just sway gently. 

Sept 5-6, 8pm. Cultural Centre Concert 

Hall, 10 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 2734- 

2009. $180-$580 from www.urbtix.hk. 

Sunday 9/7 

Firework it Out 

It’s mid-autumn festival eve: Don’t miss the 

Tai Hang Fire Dragon Dance. This year, 

there will be nearly 300 performers and over 

70,000 incense sticks attached to the dragon— 

should be quite the show. If that doesn’t do it 

for you, check out p.20 for nine more things 

to do during the festival. 

Sept 7-9, 8:15pm. Tai Hang, Causeway 

Bay, www.taihangfiredragon.hk. 

Tuesday 9/9 

Loony Town 

Channel your inner 10-year-old and check 

out Kingsley Ng’s the To The Moon outdoor 

interactive light installation. The exhibit is 

intended to get you back in touch with nature: 

or maybe it’s just lots of pretty lights. 

Sept 5-9, 8:30-10:30pm. Jordan Valley 

Park, 71 New Clear Water Bay Rd., Kwun 

Tong. www.orleanlaiproject.net. Free. 

Thursday 9/11 

Tropical Fever 

Come check out the Montreal electronic 

music duo Blue Hawaii at Backstage Live 

for sweet sounds and sweet deals: all Blue 

Hawaiis (the blue Curaçao cocktail) will cost 

$50 during the show. 

8:30pm. Backstage Live, 1/F, Somptueux 

Central, 52-54 Wellington St., Central, 

2167-8985. $195 in advance; 

$235 at the door. 

Saturday 9/6 

Go Retro 

Break out the big hair and leg warmers for 

Fringe and Retro Groovin at the Fringe Club. 

Shake your hot pants to throwback hits, with 

jazz fusion, R&B and disco all in the mix. 

9:30pm. Fringe Club, Wyndham St., 

Central, 2521-7251. $100-$120 including 

one drink. 

Monday 9/8 

Light It Up 

On festival day itself, head to the Urban 

Mid-Autumn Lantern Carnival 2014 to 

check out the lantern displays, have your palm 

read, or—sure, why not—eat more mooncakes. 

8-11pm. Victoria Park Soccer Pitch, 

Causeway Bay. Free admission. 

Wednesday 9/10 

Players’ Club 

Heading to the HK Tennis Open Make time 

for Savour HK’s wine and food shindig 

between matches—they’ll be serving up 

classy bites for winners and losers alike. 

Sep 9-14, all day. Victoria Park Tennis 

Stadium, Causeway Rd., Causeway Bay, 

www.savour.hk. Free for HKTO ticket 

holders or $50 at the door. 

Brickhouse tacos: yours at Savour 

Coming Up 

Woa, Mamma! 

Finally, the 10-year wait is over. 

Mark your calendar for Mamma Mia! 

the musical—after touring the US, 

Europe and China, the troupe is finally 

bringing ABBA’s timeless classics to all 

of Hong Kong’s dancing queens. 

Sep 24-Oct 26. Academy for 

Performing Arts, 1 Gloucester Rd., 

Wan Chai, 2584-8500. $395-995 from 

www.hkticketing.com. 


NEWS 

Edited 

by Yannie Chan 

yannie.chan@hkmagmedia.com 

Twitter: @yanniecsy 

Last Week In Reality 

Sat 23 

Pot Cookies Police are informed that an 

international drug cartel is planning to smuggle 

drugs into the city from India. Officers spot a 

suspicious-looking man at the airport and follow 

him to Tsim Sha Tsui. He is carrying a cardboard 

box full of chocolate cream biscuits: on further 

investigation, they realize that the chocolate filling 

has been mixed with marijuana. The cream filling 

contains a total of 2kg of marijuana. 

Talking Points 

We read the news, so you don’t have to. 

Photo: Edward Wong/SCMP 

Mon 25 

Sun 24 

Sinking Feeling The Hong Kong Polytechnic University says that the construction of 

a new underground tunnel has caused part of Chatham Road to sink up to 36mm in 

depth. To prevent the danger of road collapse, the university decides to halt construction 

and considers building an elevated footbridge instead. Around $90 million in public 

money was earmarked for construction. 

Tues 26 

Hooked on You A man notices that a Tuen Mun 

jewelry shop has a 2-inch opening between 

the windows of the display shelf. At around 

midnight, the man fashions a hook out of 

a thin iron rod and attempts to fish out and 

steal a platinum ring worth $10,000. His plan 

works smoothly until he realizes that the ring 

won’t fit through the gap. As he struggles to 

retrieve the ring, he is spotted and the police 

are alerted. The thief escapes, leaving behind 

the ring and his DIY hook. 

Wed 27 

Thurs 28 

Fri 29 

Last Supper A 16-year-old young man’s 

family finds out that he holds an important 

position in a Sha Tin triad gang, as an 

organizer of fights and confrontations. They 

therefore decide to send him to boarding 

school in England. The man organizes 

a large farewell dinner with his triad 

friends, but it turns out that the police 

have been collecting evidence of the 

gang’s activities for the last eight months. 

They raid the dinner, arresting 45 people 

including the young man. 

Fire Flight A fire erupts on the 20th floor of a Kwun Tong public housing estate at around 3am, 

killing at least two young boys, aged 2 and 5, and their mother. A young woman living on the 

higher levels is woken by the smoke and alerts her mother, who dismisses the fire and calls her 

foolish for wanting to escape. The woman and her sister ignore her mother’s pleas for them to 

go back to bed, instead packing up their five hamsters and fleeing the building. Their mother 

finally decides to leave with them and the family is safe. 

Creepy Call A female real estate agent is Shallow Onlookers At around 6am, 

convicted for making 192 nuisance calls a 64-year-old woman is found dead in a 

within 29 days to a female barrister, 

1-foot-deep pond in a Ma On Shan park. 

whom she believes her ex-boyfriend left The police find she has a head wound and 

her for. The woman had long suspected conclude that she had hit her head while 

the barrister, and after being dumped by falling into the pond, and thus drowned. 

her boyfriend in January the estate agent A passerby tells Apple Daily that no one 

began calling the barrister and swearing tried to rescue her, despite how shallow 

at her over the phone. She once made 70 the pond was. 

calls in a day. The woman says in court 

that she is now ready to move on. 

Illustrations: Cecilia Cheng 

Wing Chun Practitioners Caught In-fighting 

Wing Chun groups are arguing over who gets to officially represent the martial arts form. After 

Guangdong’s Department of Culture named Wing Chun master Ip Man’s 90-year-old son Ip Chun 

as the official representative of the martial art form last week, nine mainland Wing Chun 

groups submitted a letter protesting the choice, saying that Ip Man’s style is only one of the 

many factions within Wing Chun. They also argued that Ip Chun is a Hongkonger and had not 

contributed greatly to Wing Chun’s development in Foshan, where the martial art originated. 

Ip Chun established the Ip Man Memorial Museum in Foshan and assisted in the production of 

a series of Ip Man movies. Guangdong authorities are considering the request. 

Our take: There should be a film about this. With punching. 

Macau Holds One-Man CE “Election” 

Macau held its fourth Chief Executive election last Sunday. Incumbent Chief Executive Fernando 

Chui Sai-on, the only candidate, was re-elected to the position. The voting began at 10am and 

was done in about 20 minutes: the entire election process took about an hour. Chui received 

380 of the 396 votes cast by the 400-member election committee. An unofficial civil referendum 

organized by pro-democracy activists closed the same day: 8,259 out of the 8,688 participants 

said they wanted universal suffrage in the 2019 CE election. Bill Chow Kwok-ping, an expert 

on Macau politics, warned that Macau could fall into a governance crisis if it continues to crack 

down on protest activities and does not act on social issues. 

Our take: Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse than Hong Kong… 

Tai Po Runs Out Of Ice 

Tai Po’s convenience stores and supermarkets are perilously low on ice due to the popularity of 

the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge, Apple Daily reported last week. A 7-Eleven employee claimed that 

not only were the pre-packed ice cubes selling out, but people were also grabbing ice from 

the self-service soda fountains. A noodle restaurant in Tai Po came up with a one-stop deal, 

providing ice, water, a bucket and a filming service for $20. Sixty people have bought the 

package. So far, the Hong kong ALS chapter has received about $21 million in donations. 

Our take: The true Hong Kong spirit: it may be for charity, but there’s always a way to turn a buck. 

Quote of the Week 

“The central government is so scared they are 

using three condoms.” 

Veteran pro-democracy politician Martin Lee Chu-ming responds on Apple Daily’s 

online radio show to the three major guidelines issued by the standing committee 

of the National People’s Congress, which will govern the 2017 Chief Executive 

election. The guidelines state that a candidate will have to secure support from 

half of the nominating committee, only two or three candidates will be allowed 

to run, and the committee should be formed on the same lines as the 2012 

committee, which was criticized for being dominated by corporate interests. Lee 

also said he wanted to smash his television screen when he saw the news. 

8 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, SePtember 5, 2014

UPFront 

HongKabulary 

Talk 

Flagged Off (flægd ɒf), n. 

Being rejected by cab drivers who flap their hands and speed 

off because they find your destination inconvenient. 

“Man, I hate living in Kowloon Tong. I’m always getting flagged off when I try 

to get home from Lan Kwai.” 

“Dude. Try living in Tai Po.” 

Caption This 

HONG KONG—Next Media Chairman Jimmy Lai meets the press after ICAC investigators 

leave his home. (Sam Tsang/SCMP) 

Jimmy Lai Takes On ICAC Bucket Challenge 

Lai: “I Did It All For The Nookie” 

Sneak Preview: Artist Rendering of Jimmy Lai In Five Years, In Medium-Security Chinese Prison 

Jimmy Lai Patiently Explains To Press How Hong Kong Has Just Ended 

Tattoos aren’t just for triad members anymore. 

Tattoo artist Alex Wang talks to Crystal Lee about weird 

tats and what his family thinks. 

HK Magazine: How did you start 

HK: What tats do you have 

doing tattoos 

AW: I got my first tattoo when I was 17, but 

Alex Wang: In Hong Kong, if you only draw, the design was really poor. Eventually I had 

it’s almost impossible to make a living. To to find another artist to cover it completely 

me, tattoo art and art are practically the with black stars. I also have a tattoo inspired 

same, so I decided to try it. I started inking by the movie “Taxi Driver,” and one by 

tattoos around four years ago, after studying an artist from Wales who specializes in 

design and illustration. It’s very difficult drawing flowers. I honestly don’t know how 

to find someone to teach you how to do many tattoos I have, but it’s a lot. Next, 

tattoos in Hong Kong, so I traveled to Ireland I want to get one of a tattoo machine 

to ask a tattoo artist to be my mentor. on my neck. 

HK: What kinds of tattoos do you do HK: Do people think you’re a triad 

AW: All of my favorite artists make very member when they see your tattoos 

realistic art using a rough, brushstroke style. AW: When I first started doing tattoos, even 

To imitate that painting effect when doing my family disliked it, because of how they 

tattoos, I continuously mix different colors thought the public would view it. But my 

to create depth in the artwork. 

tattoos are very different from the ones 

triads get. After my family saw that my 

HK: What’s popular right now 

tattoos are quite artistic, they slowly started 

AW: In Hong Kong, people go for colorful, to accept my trade, though I still don’t know 

cartoon-like designs. But foreigners seem to how most people on the street see me. 

look for various styles to express what they 

want. I’d say 70 or 80 percent of my clients HK: Any advice for first-time tattooees 

are from abroad; a lot of them fly to Hong AW: Get lots of rest the night before, and 

Kong just to get their tattoos. 

eat well. If you’re tired and hungry, it will be 

more painful. The first time you get tattooed 

HK: What’s the weirdest tattoo 

you’ll definitely think it’s going to hurt 

you’ve ever done 

a lot, but the process is not as bad as you’d 

AW: Once, I tattooed a smiley face on imagine. It’s like getting a shot: The actual 

a client’s knee. He was a foreigner who shot itself is never as bad as you expect. 

was on vacation, and just spontaneously 

decided to get a tattoo. It didn’t have any Set up an appointment with Wang at Tattoo 

special meaning; he just thought it would Temple, 1 Wyndham St., Central, 2801-7300, 

be funny because a smiley face is round, www.tattootemple.hk. Be prepared to wait 

and his knee is round. 

13-17 months until he has time to see you. 

Fast Facts 

Job Search 

Which Jobs Were We Born to Have 

➢ 

➢ 

➢ 

➢ 

➢ 

Milk tea brewmaster. 

Professional jobseeker. 

Steve Jobs. 

Keeper of CY Leung’s Jewels. 

Your job, in five years. 

Street 

10 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2014

UPFront 

Politically Incorrect 

with Chip Tsao 

How to Make Hong Kong Sound 

More Interesting to the World 

Imagine this scenario for the British 

general election in the year 2047: 

two candidates representing the two 

remaining major political parties—one 

Mohammed Abdul Ali, from the Party of 

Political Correctness; the other named 

Hussein Abdul Ali, from the British 

All-Muslim Democratic Party. There 

could be a third candidate, named Wang 

Xiyang, wriggling around with enough 

support from Chinatowns in London, 

Manchester and Edinburgh, with his 

eyes also avidly on the seat of power 

at Downing Street, though his odds 

are considered negligible because he 

represents the smaller British Patriotic 

Chinese Party, with only seven seats in 

the House of Commons. 

By this time, the evil Christian Anglo- 

Saxon population would have been 

outnumbered by these one-time “ethnic 

minorities,” who would all have either 

emigrated to Hong Kong, Chiang Mai or 

Shanghai—or for those who remained 

in their homeland founded by William 

the Conqueror, they would simply be 

too reluctant to multiply. The official 

languages in Britain at this time are 

Arabic, Pashto, Putonghua, and English, 

in that order. 

The two major candidates sharing 

the same Ali name would have both 

been pre-approved by the royal 

government in Riyadh. Electorates would 

be reassured through the BBC that if 

either Ali won, Sharia law would not be 

imposed in Britain. Britain’s capitalist 

system would still be allowed to stay 

unchanged: the stock market would 

be business as usual; pork chops and 

gammon steaks could still be included 

on a pub menu, along with, needless to 

say, alcohol—with the compliments of 

the King of Saudi Arabia. 

If the Anglo-Saxon minority people 

dared to occupy Parliament Square, 

Hyde Park or the City of London in 

mass protest, they would be regarded 

as treasonous. The Saudi King would 

solemnly condemn the clandestine 

interference of the CIA, although we 

should note that by this time, about half 

of the state governors on the other 

side of the Atlantic are either Hispanic 

or Chinese. 

Hong Kong’s democrats have been 

complaining about Hong Kong being 

written off by western governments and 

the press, who now hardly care about 

Hong Kong’s fight for democracy. The 

west may be too busy signing trade 

deals with Beijing or being too scared 

by jihadists or Islamic extremists in their 

own countries to be sympathetic to 

Hong Kong’s democracy demands. 

But Hong Kong’s democrats have 

also been poor in presenting their case 

to western politicians and press. The 

clauses and articles of the Basic Law, the 

Joint Declaration and other “documents” 

are simply too complicated and dull for a 

New York Times Far East correspondent 

to chew up and digest. In order to catch 

the attention of the general public in 

say, Britain, whose current generation 

of news consumers has little knowledge 

or memory of Margaret Thatcher, you 

need to stress your case with a dramatic 

and metaphorical strength that would 

startle them, not make them yawn. 

This is unfortunately the weakness of 

Hong Kong. 

Chip Tsao is a best-selling author, columnist 

and a former producer for the BBC. His columns 

have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next 

Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others. 


The HK Magazine 

Foolproof Career 

Questionnaire 

Hate your job Need a new career Take our easy-peasy life-changing quiz. By HK Staff 

1 2 3 4 

5 

When on a junk 

trip, you are most 

often seen… 

a. Standing on the top deck, 

feeling the good vibes of 

humanity wash over you. 

b. Next to the ice box, jealously 

guarding your six-pack of 

craft beers. 

c. Pitching your business idea to 

the richest guy on board. 

d. In a series of pornographic 

yoga poses. 

e. In the corner, having a cokedup 

conversation with 

a floaty ring. 

You have a huge 

argument with a 

friend in the middle 

of SoHo. You… 

a. Bottle it all up, then go 

write a sad poem about 

it in your journal. 

b. Eat your woes away at one 

of SoHo’s many restaurants. 

c. Thrive on the intellectual 

cut-and-thrust of debate. 

Let’s do it again! 

d. Meditate while having your 

colon cleansed. 

e. Write a check and make 

it go away. 

After work, 

you chill out by… 

a. Hanging out at an open-mic 

night in Central. 

b. One word, repeated: Shots. 

c. Sorry, I don’t understand 

the question. “After work” 

d. Running a quick ultramarathon 

to ease away 

the stresses of the day. 

e. Engaging the intimate services 

of qualified professionals until 

it’s time to work again. 

How did you do 

You’re walking 

down Nathan Road 

when your flip-flop 

snaps. You… 

a. Bind it back up with 

a spare piece of string. 

b. Use it as an excuse to 

hop to the nearest bar. 

c. See a niche in the market, 

for unbreakable flip-flops. 

d. Go barefoot, as nature 

herself always intended. 

e. Flip flops These are $4,000 

car shoes, you peasant. 

When getting 

together with 

friends, you… 

a. Talk about books in a 

Mong Kok coffee shop. 

b. Never remember what 

happened the morning after. 

c. Spend all your time 

scrolling through FB to 

analyze viral success. 

d. Go bouldering in the 

morning, then just blast 

through a triathlon 

after lunch. 

e. Don’t have any friends. 

MostlyA 

You plainly have an affinity for the arts. 

You should be... 

The Next Cartier-Bresson 

So you think you’ve got the eye for the “Decisive 

Moment” Better get to know your camera first, 

unless you really like photos of the inside of a lens 

cap. Teacher and pro photographer Kenneth Lim of 

the Hong Kong Photography Workshop will get 

you off on the right foot with a condensed three-hour 

“Different Directions” by Fan Ho 

“Photography 101” class. The next one falls on 

Sep 9, 7-10pm ($800, 10 percent off with a friend, 

hkphotoworkshop.com). Want to see how the greats 

did it Get to the Pottinger Hong Kong (74 Queen’s 

Rd. Central, 2308-3188) to check out photos by 

legendary street snapper Fan Ho which adorn the 

walls. Ask the concierge where to find ‘em. 

“A Day is Done” by Fan Ho 

A Feature Wall Guru 

Don’t know the difference between chevron and 

houndstooth prints If you’re going to start decorating 

people’s homes for a living, you’d best brush up on 

your aesthetics. Take the 12-part Introduction to 

Interior Design ($2,160) at HKU Space to see if it’s 

really for you—or enroll in the Diploma of Interior 

Design to really lock down all you need to know, 

from the ergonomics of a sofa to the ins and outs 

of building systems. It doesn’t come cheap ($40,000 

in two installments) but do you really want to spend 

another day sneaking focal points and accent colors 

onto your coworkers’ desks while they’re not looking 

494 King’s Rd., North Point, www.hkuspace.hku.hk. 

A tracy emin wannabe 

Tracy Emin may have redefined modern art 

when she displayed her unmade bed—but 

consider starting with the basics before 

embarking on full-blown performance art. 

Explore your artistic flair at Oscary Wine 

and Art for a gentle introduction. The inhouse 

artists will guide you through painting 

techniques and each session comes with 

acrylic paint, canvas and soft drinks, for 

$150-$200 per person. Alternatively, get 

on board with their “Eco Art” terrariums to 

really push the arty boundaries. 

1D, Au’s Building, 15-19 Hollywood Rd., 

Central, 2964-9111 (Moving to Shop A, G/F, 

16-17 Wa In Fong East, Central, from mid-Sep). 


A First Chair Violinist 

OK, so professional musicians have to practice 

constantly for countless years to rise to the top: but 

it’s never too late to sign up for one-on-one lessons 

from Hong Kong’s orchestra maestros themselves 

at One Serviced Music Rooms (5/F, Mirage Tower, 

15 Thomson Rd., Wan Chai, 2528-6800; lessons from 

$900 per hour). Not quite at that level yet Sign up for 

private lessons ($580 for four classes) at Parkland 

Music (Various locations, including 7/F, Righteous 

Centre, 585 Nathan Rd., Mong Kok, 2660-9138). And 

remember: practice, practice, practice. 

The voice of a generation 

So you’re chock-full of witty observations about Hong 

Kong’s twisted society and politics Turn them into 

the Great Hong Kong Novel with HKU’s Master of 

Fine Arts in Creative Writing, a two-year part-time 

program for passionate writers ($51,250 per year). 

Lessons take place most Saturday afternoons. You’ll 

finally get the motivation and the skills to hone your 

words into the next “Ulysses”—or at least the next 

“Fifty Shades.” 

www.english.hku.hk/mfa.htm. 

Wanna get ahead A-plié yourself. 

Prima ballerina 

Wanna be the next Black Swan Lynne Charleston’s 

Lynne Ballet School (Lynne Ballet Studio, 17/F, 

Universal Trade Centre, 3-5 Arbuthnot Rd., Central, 

9777-5393, www.lynneballetschool.com) offers weekly 

adult ballet classes on Wednesday evenings to have 

you en pointe in no time. A term lasts for 13 weeks, 

and the next one starts on Sep 10 ($2,400 for the 

whole term). Prefer something with a bit of modern 

flair City Contemporary Dance Company (G/F, 110 

Shatin Pass Rd., Wong Tai Sin, 2328-9205, www.ccdc. 

com.hk) offers courses in modern dance, street jazz, 

ballet, and more, starting from $1,320 for 10 sessions. 

Font Designer 

Are you a font nerd Just hating on Comic Sans 

doesn’t count—but if you’ve got a secret obsession 

with Helvetica and there’s nothing you loathe more 

than a badly kerned headline, then typography 

might be for you. Check out the Hong Kong Design 

Institute’s Professional Certificate in Typography 

($4,500 for the 30-hour version; $12,300 for the 

full, 90-hour module). You might even discover a 

newfound love for Comic Sans… 

Hong Kong Design Institute, 

3 King Ling Rd., Tseung Kwan O, 

3928-2777, www.hkdi.edu.hk/peec. 

Florist to the Stars 

Get your Ikebana on and learn from the best: 

Trained in Europe and inspired by her Japanese 

teachers, Theresa Lam is passionate about passing 

on her knowledge of floral art at The Hong Kong 

Academy of Flower Arrangement. Courses suit a 

range of levels—from hobbyists to existing florists 

alike. At the end, students can apply for 

official certificates or diplomas from the 

International Academy of Floristry. 

15/F, 164-166 Hennessy Rd., 

Wan Chai, 2882-1832. 

www.hkafa.com.hk. 

MostlyB 

Food and booze run through your veins. 

You should be a... 

Butchers Club: This could be your day job 

Meat your destiny 

at the Butchers Club 

bad-ass Butcher 

Kick your kitchen skills up a notch with The Butchers’ 

Club’s new Nose-to-Tail Butchery Class ($1,300). 

The hands-on lesson is led by master butcher 

Ned Nolan, who starts off with a demonstration of 

butchering a whole lamb before having the class 

try their hand at deboning, rolling and tying a lamb 

shoulder. Next up you’ll learn how to skin, score and 

tie a stuffed-and-rolled pork belly for slow-cooking. 

And to end the practical part of the lesson, you learn 

how to debone and butterfly a whole chicken. The 

class—which includes free-flow wine and beer—ends 

with a family-style meal prepared by the chefs, and 

a doggie bag (or cooler bag) of your own butchered 

chicken as well as a jar of their maple and bourbon 

glaze. Want to perfect your newfound skills Students 

get a 15 percent discount on all produce at the shop 

that night, including your very own boning knife. 

Classes fall on the second Thursday of every month. 

Room C, 13/F, Sun Ying Industrial Centre, 

9 Tin Wan Close, Aberdeen, 2552-8281, 

store.butchersclub.com.hk. 

Master of Wine 

Sniff, swirl, scoff, repeat: if that sounds like the day 

job you’d much rather be doing, then get yourself 

qualified as an expert wine snob. The Nose Wine 

School (2892-0116, www.nosewineschool.com) is run 

by sommelier Stefano Yim, who teaches oenophiles 

(that’s first on your wine vocab list) what to look for 

during the wine tasting process. Three tasty days will 

set you back $3,500. Alternatively, get a basic threehour 

introduction ($650) to that red and white stuff 

from HKU Space (2520-4607, hkuspace.hku.hk), which 

begins with “What is Wine”—who knows where 

this sort of philosophizing could lead 

Dim Sum Chef 

Extraordinaire 

Release your inner dim sum chef and learn some 

serious knife skills with the Chinese Cuisine 

Training Institute. This is where Hong Kong’s top 

chefs are trained, so depending on how seriously you 

want to take this, there are several options: full-time 

and part-time diplomas, or one-day intro sessions. 

Perhaps start small with the “Fun Kitchen” ($880)—a 

four-hour immersion in the art of Chinese cooking. 

You’ll get a demo from one of CCTI’s chefs in the 

large, hi-tech kitchens, before you get hands-on with 

your choice of southern or northern dim sum, or 

wok-cooking. Deep-fried soufflé balls with bean paste 

and banana Piece of (turnip) cake. The reward for all 

your hard work is lunch, cooked for you by full-time 

trainees. So you’d better hope the training is good. 

7/F VTC Pokfulam Complex, 145 Pokfulam Rd., 

2538 2200 www.ccti.vtc.edu.hk. 

Make dim sum like a pro 

master Brewmaster 

Master your own destiny—and your own fully stocked 

bar—by learning to brew your own booze. Get your 

head around the industry, and your lips around a 

glass, with a tour of Young Master Ales’ Ap Lei 

Chau brewery ($100, Units 407-9, Oceanic Industrial 

Centre, 2 Lee Lok St., www.youngmasterales.com). 

Here you’ll be introduced to original flavorings, as well 

as the whole brewing process—from the raw hops to 

the final chilled product. Once you’ve got the training 

wheels off, invent your own crazy flavor combinations 

on a three-hour crash course with HK Brewcraft 

(from $600; www.hkbrewcraft.com, 5925-2739). You’ll 

get the ingredients, the kit and helpful tutoring to get 

you started on your own batch of crafty goodness, all 

while sampling the store’s different brands of beer. 

Your brew will have your name all over it, so aim high. 

New tricks at Young Master 

Brewcraft: a career in beer 


MostlyC 

A Breaker of 

the Silicon Ceiling 

So you’re a woman looking to break into the maledominated 

world of tech Look up Women Who 

Code, a non-profit org which exists to help and inspire 

women to get ahead in tech, by helping them to 

gain essential skills and also providing networking 

opportunities and support. Interested Their next event 

is on Sep 24 at 7pm at Cocoon (3/F, Citicorp Centre, 

18 Whitfield Rd., Tin Hau, 3158-2999). 

www.womenwhocodehk.com. 

Mark Zuckerberg 3.1 

Have everything you need to be the next social media 

You were born to work at a startup. 

You should be… 

phenom—aside from the skills to pull it off Make your 

genius idea (let’s call it TwitFace) a reality with the Web 

Development Immersive course at General Assembly. 

It’s a hyper-intensive, full-time 12-week web development 

course that will teach you everything you need to hit the 

ground running as a web developer. You’ll also emerge 

with a portfolio, job hunting knowhow, and career 

networking opportunities too. The next course runs 

from Sep 22-Dec 19, so if you quit your job tomorrow, 

you might be able to squeeze yourself into the course. 

One problem: it costs a hefty $90,000. Balking at the 

figure GA also offers part-time courses (from $25,000), 

including front- and back-end web development and 

user-experience design. 

generalassemb.ly/hong-kong. 

A Startup Billionaire 

So you’ve got the skills, you’ve got the great idea: now all 

TwitFace needs is some money. Take your genius project 

to a pitch day at startup incubator Nest. Pitch days 

happen every four months, in which they select five 

companies who they will provide up to $500,000 of 

investment, plus access to the full expertise of the 

Nest team. After three months, you’ll present on a “Demo 

Day” to a room full of investors. 

www.nest.vc. 

Space Invaders 

Now that you’ve nailed your TwitFace idea, you need a 

space to grow and share ideas with other bright young 

startuppers. Check out these new co-working spaces. 

Puerta del Sol 

Puerta del Sol is an industrial loft space in hyper-arty 

Chai Wan that’s all about the creative types. It’s big, airy 

and more than just a desk: the venue also has a showroom, 

gallery, events space and even a photo studio. Desks start 

at $200 per day or $1,888 per month. 

Unit 8D, Reality Tower, 4 Sun On St., Siu Sai Wan, 

puertadelsolhk.com. 

Platform Coworking + Events 

Sitting on 5,000 sq. ft. of space over three floors in Sai Ying 

Pun—and, most importantly, above a coffee shop (Opendoor, 

120 Connaught Rd. West, 3460-3880)—a one-day hotdesk is 

$200 while monthy membership starts at $1,500 per month. 

1-3/F, 120 Connaught Rd. West, Sai Ying Pun, 3460-7788. 

Paperclip HK 

Paperclip bills iself as a “Startup Campus,” providing 

mentoring and guidance as well as workshops on classes 

on business models and coding to help you grow your 

business. Hotdesking services start at $1,500 per month, 

and an office starts at $6,000 per person. 

3/F, Nam Wo Hong Building, 148 Wing Lok St., 

Sheung Wan, 3586-2888. 

Lofty working at Puerta Del Sol 

hkmag_170x254_h2.pdf 1 29/8/14 10:57 PM 


MostlyD 

Looks like sports and health is your thing. 

You should be a... 

Captain of all 

You Survey 

Sally forth in a 16-foot Wayfarer dinghy in pursuit of 

the horizon—and your Hong Kong Sailing Federation 

certificate. The Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club offers 

popular beginners’ courses in five-session cycles 

(from $4,926). You don’t have to be a member to get 

on board, but you do have to be careful to be around 

for all five dates—otherwise you have to pay a steep 

$620 fee to make up a missed day. The next course 

runs from Oct 4-26… sail to it, Skipper! 

Middle Island, Southside, 2832-2817, 

www.rhkyc.org.hk. 

YogA Guru 

If the healing art of yoga has you hooked, it may 

be time to take your practice professional. Get your 

down dog accredited with a course at Anahata 

Yoga. Their 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training 

Certificate Course ($26,000) runs several times 

a year, and is accredited by Asana Andiappan 

College of Yoga and Research in India, as well as 

the Yoga Alliance in the US. That way, you’ll be as 

legit as you are limber. The next course runs Nov 

25-Mar 5, so be prepared to commit. 

18/F, One Lyndhurst Tower, 1 Lyndhurst Terrace, 

Central, 2905-1822, www.anahatayoga.com.hk 

Sun-kissed Surfer Bro 

Who needs that corporate bullshit, man Bro out 

with some surfing lessons from Long Coast on 

Cheung Sha beach on Lantau, where the long 

coastline and shallow water make riding your first 

waves a little more manageable. The watersports 

outfitter offers two-hour private and small-group 

beginner’s surfing classes ($600-800 per session, 

including gear), which will have you catching waves 

before you can say “That’s like, so tubular, dude.” 

29 Lower Cheung Sha Village, Lantau, 

8104-6222, longcoast.hk. 

Scuba Instructor 

in the Philippines 

Before you get ahead of yourself with daydreams 

of diving in the tropics, get PADI certified right here 

in Hong Kong. Diving Adventures has a roster of 

courses for beginners, plus some cool sessions on 

fish identification and underwater photography. Take 

the PADI Open Water Diver course to earn your 

international diver certificate—the course includes 

five academic training sessions, and five pool and 

open-water sessions ($4,500, including equipment 

and course manual). If you insist on learning to dive 

in paradise, though, Diving Adventures runs local 

and international diving expeditions to help sort out 

your daydreams. 

2572-2138, www.divinghk.com. 

Sail to new horizons with 

the Royal Hong Kong Yacht Club 

Anahata Yoga: license to limber 


Hair 

Craft 

“Up a bit” 

Located in the boutique salon in SoHo. 

We have many years 

of styling experience. 

Welcome to come in and ask 

for expertise advice. 

For Appointment: 2868 6985 

61 G/F Elgin Street, SoHo, Central, Hong Kong . 

Search Hair Craft Soho 

www.haircraft-salon.com 

Magic Masseuse 

Are you the hands-on type Dig into massage therapy with help from Chuan 

Academy at The Langham Place. The spa offers ITEC-accredited certificates 

in holistic massage, beauty and skincare—with programs ranging from five to 

eight weeks. Just want to test the waters Check out the bespoke spa therapy 

workshops (prices vary, from $1,400 for two hours), which cover the basics 

of facials, manicures, pedicures, and massage. A Level 3 Diploma holistic 

massage course ($14,000) is starting on October 6, so get ready to get rubbin’. 

Chuan Spa, The Langham Place, 555 Shanghai St., Mong Kok, 3552-3510, 

www.chuanspa.com. 

Ip Man 2.0 

So you’re agile, flexible and want to kick ass Sign 

up for classes at Wan Kam Leung Practical 

Wing Chun Kung Fu International, a martial arts 

school founded by Sifu Wan Kam Leung, an early 

student of Ip Man’s disciple Sifu Wong Shun Leung. 

Wan has adjusted the Wing Chun system to make it 

more practical and suitable for modern-day needs. 

The style proved so useful that Wan was invited 

by the Police Force to become their chief kung 

fu instructor. Sifu Wan is used to having Englishspeaking 

students—so long as you’re humble and 

willing to listen. Prices start at $750 for four classes, 

or $1,100 for unlimited monthly classes. 

1/F, Front, 456 Nathan Rd., Yau Ma Tei, 

5639-4452, wankamleung.com. 

This guy could kick your ass 

MostlyE 

Screw it, just stick to 

investment banking 

Money’s brilliant, isn’t it Enjoy it by by visiting WW Chan & Sons (8B, 

Entertainment Building, 30 Queen’s Rd. Central, 2366-9738) and ordering a 

bespoke suit (from $12,000) but insisting that it be in an obscenely broad 

chalk-stripe pattern with shoulders that are 6-10 inches too wide. Then go in 

search of the most expensive drink you can find: The extensive wine list at 

Petrus at the Island Shangri-La (Supreme Court Rd., Admiralty, 2820-8590) 

offers a 1928 magnum of Petrus for $397,000, which should hit the bill. Finally, 

you’re going to want to book out Hong Kong’s most expensive hotel room, the 

7,000-square-foot Presidential Suite at the InterContinental Hong Kong 

(18 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 2721-1211), which will set you back a paltry 

$106,700 per night. Ha! Career-changing idiots. 

Bring me six of 

everything at Petrus! 

Yes, I am dining alone! 

This WW Chan suit is far too tasteful! 

Make it more vulgar immediately! 


Once in a 

Mid-Autumn Moon 

There’s more to the Mid-Autumn Festival on September 8-9 than double-yolk mooncakes. 

Make the most out of it with our top 10 things to do during the festival. By Laura Chan 

1. Go lantern shopping 

Deck out your home with last-minute lantern decorations from Queen’s 

Road West—a couple of blocks past the Hollywood Road intersection 

(137-160 Queen’s Rd. West), you’ll find a row of shops that are teeming 

with worshipping materials, joss sticks, and lanterns of every shape and 

size. The cheapest ones start at around $38. 

2. See small lights in the big city 

On the evening of September 8, Victoria Park will be full of people with 

lanterns and candles, enjoying the evening and the full moon. The park 

also plays host to the annual Lantern Display. This year’s festival features 

designs from local primary and secondary school students. The theme 

“Toys and Playthings in Hong Kong Mood,” so we can only hope there’s a 

grumpy Transformer in the mix. 

Through Sep 14, daily 6:30-11:00pm. 

3. Fire yourself up 

After a dash of history Catch the Fire Dragon Dance in Tai Hang: this 

tradition dates back to 1880, after a typhoon, a plague and a deadly snake 

all struck Tai Hang village in quick succession. A divine prophesy told the 

villagers to perform a fire dance to ward off evil. Since then, the rite has 

been performed annually to prevent bad luck from returning to Tai Hang. 

Sep 7-9, 8:15pm, Wun Sha St., Tai Hang. 

4. Go barbecue or bust 

With the moon at its brightest, there’s no better time to host a barbecue. 

Think sizzling meats, sweet marinades and moon-gazing, in one of the 

many public BBQ pits across Hong Kong. Try Shek O or Big Wave Bay 

Beach, which both have great views of the moonrise—just remember 

to buy coal and other utensils at the supermarket before you head off. 

5. Try to spot Chang’e 

Every Mid-Autumn Festival, children gaze at the moon in hopes of 

catching a glimpse of Chang’e and the Jade Rabbit gliding across its 

surface. You might have better luck at a rooftop bar, where a little bubbly 

might just help you see the legendary moon-dwellers. The terrace at 

Sugar in Taikoo Shing is cool enough to make you feel like the Goddess 

of Immortality herself. 

32/F, East Hotel, 29 Tai Koo Shing Rd., Quarry Bay, 

3968-3738. 

6. Turn on the lunar charm 

The Mid-Autumn Festival also happens to be a traditional time for 

courtship, but there’s nothing romantic about elbow-to-elbow moongazing 

on the Tsim Sha Tsui waterfront. For some peace and quiet 

under the stars, take your date to the Tai Tam Tuk Reservoir for some 

secluded lunar lovin’. 

Getting there: Take minibus 16X from Chai Wan MTR station. 

Trek up from Shek O to spot Chang’e 

See a rad moon rising at Sugar 

Got lanterns 


7. Take a mooncation 

Not the outdoorsy type Get away from the moon-staring crowds with a 

staycation at the Mira Moon Hotel. With interiors inspired by traditional 

Mid-Autumn Festival stories, you’ll feel like a part of the legend yourself. 

The outdoor terrace is the perfect place to spend a moony evening—plus 

there’s a half-off happy hour every night from 4pm. 

From $1,920 per night. 388 Jaffe Rd., Wan Chai, 2643-8888, 

www.miramoonhotel.com. 

Hong Kong Tourism Board 

K.Y. Cheng/SCMP 

8. Ditch the cakes 

It sounds counterintuitive, but these bad boys are not your friends: the 

sheer amount of flour, lard, and sugar in each mooncake can add up to 

some 1,000 calories. For a healthy alternative, stick to other traditional 

Mid-Autumn snacks. Try round foods such as watermelon or pomelo—the 

shape symbolizes family unity. 

9. Make a sweet donation 

After curbing your mooncake diet, what to do with the surplus Donate 

your extra mooncakes to needy Hong Kong citizens with Food Angel. 

If you have enough, they’ll even send over a minivan to pick up the boxes. 

2801-5333, www.foodangel.org.hk. 

10. Run off that moon weight 

You may be lighter on the moon, but after all those huge family meals 

here on earth you’re going to weigh a whole lot more. Run it off in the 

Hong Kong Marathon coming up on January 25. Not quite up to the 

challenge Start with something less intimidating, such as the AVOHK 5K 

on October 11. Be sure to register for these competitions in advance, as 

spots go fast. Good luck, and we hope you lose those lunar pounds… 

www.avohk.org; www.hkmarathon.com. 

Mid-Autumn Mishaps 

A firey dragon dance in Tai Hang 

Avoid lunar misadventures this festival with Adam White’s 

foolproof tips. 

1. Don’t offer to light your date’s lantern. Nothing says “not getting 

laid” like taking a trip to the burns ward. 

2. Don’t flip the bird at the moon. Chang’e and the rabbit may be 

lunar deities, but gods have feelings too. 

3. Don’t get bitten by a werewolf, such that every time the moon 

is full, you too become half-man, half-slavering beast. It is very hard 

to hold down a job in Hong Kong’s fast-paced business environment 

if you cannot be relied upon to refrain from eating your client. 

4. Don’t drink so much in Wan Chai that you insist on “mooning” 

strangers as you snicker over the pun. In fact, this is simply called 

“indecent exposure.” 

5. Don’t make a single moon-based joke or pun. It would be lunacy. 

Victoria Park’s new moon 

Go Mira-mooning 


Join Us at Soho East to Taste the Sweeter, 

Slower, Pace of Life on the Waterfront. 

We’ve got free beer, live entertainment 

and games. All we need is you! 

Date: September 19 and 20, 2014 

Venue: Soho East Waterfront, Lei King Wan, Hong Kong 

RSVP: www.hk-magazine.com/GoEast 

Special discounts upon registration! 

But wait! There’s more: Hashtag your photos with #GoEastHK 

#SohoEast #hkmagazine for a chance to win a FujiFilm Instax camera! 

www.sohoeast.com.hk

Get more out of HK | SHOPPING + TRAVEL + DINING 

Falling For You 

News alert: summer is sooo last season. It’s still 

baking outside and we’re not looking to layer up 

just yet, but you can still take up a bit of the classic 

fall look. Think about mixing fun colors (for a touch 

of summer) with dramatic feminine silhouettes, and 

remember to let your hair down and pucker up with 

pink or coral lipstick. Bring on the cooler weather… 

Ted Baker AW14 Collection: Dress, $2,750; shoes, 

$1,995. Shop 147, 1/F, Pacific Place, 88 Queensway, 

Admiralty, 2918-9609. 


LOOKbook 

with Katie Kenny 

Shopping 

The way I see it, summer is for our inner surfer-slash-skater chicks while fall 

is more feminine and ladylike. It may still be junk season, but fall collections 

are already hitting our stores. My solution for staying on-trend without 

roasting inside an autumn outfit Fall silhouettes, mixed with summer cuts. 

Necklace, 

$1,085, Oroton 

Top, $2,090, 

Alice + Olivia 

Skirt, $2,190, 

Sandro 

Nail polish, $205, 

Dolce & Gabbana 

Pumps, $2,450, Sophia 

Webster for J.Crew 

Lipstick pencil, 

$165, MAC @ Faces 

Dress, $239, 

Zalora Collection 

Bag, $TBC, 

Zara 

Zalora 

www.zalora.com.hk. 

Faces, Lab Concept 

Queensway Plaza, 

93 Queensway, Admiralty, 

3106-0478. 

Dolce & Gabbana 

Shop 228, 2/F, Pacific Place, 

88 Queensway, Admiralty, 

2525-5815. 

J.Crew 

Shop 1026-1028, 1/F, IFC Mall, 

8 Finance St., Central, 2628-5611. 

Oroton 

Shop 9, G/F, Empire Court, 

2-4 Hysan Avenue, 

Causeway Bay, 2866-6580. 

Sandro 

Shop 3078A, 3/F, IFC Mall, 

8 Finance St., Central, 2234-7851. 

Alice + Olivia 

Shop 2343, 2/F, Gateway Arcade, 

Harbour City, 2-27 Canton Rd., 

Tsim Sha Tsui, 2118-3508. 

Zara 

70 Queens Rd. Central, 

2903-9500. 

Flipping You Off 

Hey, hipsters: Hong Kong’s cool kid brand G.O.D has gone and slapped their signature 

prints on a line of comfy flip flops. The kitsch Hong Kong thing is wicked trendy right now 

so grab a pair ($228) to give as gifts or to sport around town yourself. My favorite prints 

are the Nathan Road neon signs and the classic mailboxes. 852 represent! 

G.O.D, G-1/F, 48 Hollywood Rd., Central, 2805-1876, www.god.com.hk. 

Is there a fall trend you’re looking forward to donning Let me know! 

Email me at katie.kenny@hkmagmedia.com, tweet me @Katie_Kenny and 

Instagram me @katekatiekatharine. 


travel 

Escape Routes 

with Kate Springer 

Get on a boat with 

Hello Hong Kong tours 

Can’t get away No worries! There’s lots 

going down in the SAR. Here’s the latest: 

Southern Hospitality 

New-to-town Ovolo Southside opened 

its artsy doors this summer, acting as a 

great base for exploring the burgeoning 

Wong Chuk Hang area. The hotel has all 

the usual Ovolo hospitality: a free minibar 

and happy hour, plus all-day coffee and 

snacks. But what’s extra cool about this 

new space is the converted-warehouse 

design, hand-painted murals, and the 

green views. I also have to tip my hat to 

head chef Kris Bandel at Cirqle: Yeah, 

the resto is a bit out of the way for your 

casual Friday-night dinner, but I highly 

recommend the crab cakes and the Key 

Lime Pie—it's not every day you see one 

of these on a Hong Kong menu. Plus, the 

big terrace is ideal for cooler nights, as 

is the upstairs rooftop bar. Staycation 

material, indeed. 

Rooms from $1,395. 64 Wong Chuk Hang 

Rd., Wong Chuk Hang, 2165-1000, 

www.ovolohotels.com/ovolo-southside. 

Nube Cube 

The Miramar Group just announced big 

plans for its next hotel project: Mira Cube 

in Tsim Sha Tsui. Aimed at busy business 

travelers, the 50-room boutique hotel is 

slated to open in January 2015, bringing 

with it some convenient fixtures—think 

self-check-in counters and complimentary 

smartphones that provide free Wi-Fi 

throughout the city. The standard “Cube” 

rooms are a little snug, at between 

194-258 square feet, but the woody 

atmosphere and “Super Showers,” aka 

walk-in rain showers, sound pretty inviting. 

Just down the street from The Mira, the 

new hotel will share its big sister’s spa, 

dining, and event facilities—keepin’ it all 

in the family. 

From $1,350 (opening offer). 6 Knutsford 

Terrace, Tsim Sha Tsui, 2302-3555, 

www.miracubehotel.com. 

You Had Me at Hello 

Have friends in town but can’t spend 

every waking minute with them Make 

sure they’re having a blast—and learning 

about our awesome city—with a hand from 

Hello Hong Kong tours. The company, 

set up earlier this year, offers a slew of 

creative tours that show visitors a different 

side of Hong Kong, far from the tourist 

trail. Whether it’s eating, sailing, or even 

shopping in Shenzhen, founder Laura 

Blackhall and her team can set it up for you. 

Some of the most popular tours include 

the half-day food crawl ($650), which starts 

in Sheung Wan and makes its way over 

to Wan Chai, one delicious stop at a time. 

Laura can also arrange private tours on 

trams, or boat trips—including a cruise on 

the 47-foot Local Hero sailboat. Get a group 

together and take a private sail around 

the Southside, with drinks and some tour 

guiding along the way (from $8,500 for 

three hours). Best of all, you get to do all 

the sailing yourself—if you want to. 

9704-4108, www.hellohongkong.com.hk. 

Psst... The Grand Hyatt has a great "Escape 

24" staycation deal on this month: $2,800 

buys you a full 24 hours, starting at check-in, 

plus $1,000 to spend on food or spa services. 

1 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai, 2584-7038, 

hongkong.grand.hyatt.com. 

Have a query you need answered or a 

travel tip you’re keen to share Email 

me at kate.springer@hkmagmedia.com 

or tweet @KateSpringer, #hktravels. 

Urban woods at Mira Cube 

Cirqle up for crab cakes 


DINING 

Latte Art 

Still going to that regular old coffee shop You’re so mainstream. 

Get cultured and caffeinated double-time with these arts and music cafés. 

By Andrea Lo 

Concoct great music at The Alchemist 

The Alchemist: free tunes here 

HMV: an Ideal place to chill and browse 

HMViva! 

Shake Your Boom 

Situated on hipster enclave Sai Street, 

Boom Gallery and Café conveniently 

turns into a bar at night. There are posters 

and artwork plastered all over the stark 

white walls and a well-stocked bar to the side. 

During the day, nibble on sandwiches, crêpes 

and the like. Boom houses Hong Kong’s coolest 

art exhibitions, drawing a trendy crowd faster 

than you can say “abstract expressionism.” 

G/F, 48 Sai St., Sheung Wan, 9302-6220. 

Boom 

(chug chug chug) 

2 Cool 4 School 

Expect a hip clientele and light bites at TC2 Café and Workshop. 

TC2, which stands for “Tea Coffee 2,” is part café, part gig and arts 

venue. It was established by two journalists as a headquarters for 

creative types to hang out and bounce ideas around. The artisanal 

crafts on display, artwork all around, live bands on weekends, 

and 20-somethings chilling over coffee and beer add to the 

oh-so-cool vibes. 

G/F, 23 Cedar St., Prince Edward, 2388-9772. 

Coffee Chemistry 

Travel-themed The Alchemist Café Bistro was established in 

late 2012. Frustrated by the lack of casual spots where he could sit 

down and devise a travel plan, owner Dylan Leung opened exactly 

just that—a café where city dwellers and backpackers alike can 

bond over collective wanderlust. While poring over the hundreds 

of travel books on offer, nibble on waffles and ice cream, as well as 

savory bites like samosas and satay skewers. Alchemist also hosts 

regular live gigs: keep an eye out for upcoming events listed on the 

Facebook page and message them to reserve a spot. 

Three branches, including Shop 1, G/F, Ka On Building, 

27-29 Poplar St., Prince Edward, 2779-0559, 

www.facebook.com/thealchemistcafebistro. 

The New Ideal 

Check out the newly opened HMV Ideal in the store’s flagship 

Central branch, which has turned into an entertainment hub-slashlifestyle 

space. It comes complete with a totally kool “kafe,” serving 

coffees and teas. HMV Ideal is staffed by “impassionados,” experts 

in music, film and tech—and some are even musicians themselves 

who will perform impromptu gigs when the store is less busy. 

Multiple branches, including 3/F, Entertainment Building, 

30 Queen’s Rd. Central, 2739-0268. 

Artiste in Waiting 

Nestled in Tin Hau, Les Artistes Café & Gallery hosts 

exhibitions of every kind, including paintings, handicrafts, 

photography, drawing sessions and live music shows. Expect 

a chilled-out ambience and plenty of scrummy treats. Aside from 

dishes like crispy salt-and-pepper chicken and smoked duck 

breast, there are also five types of cheesecake on offer. Mmm. 

1/F, Man Hoi Building, 98 Electric Rd., Tin Hau, 3426-8918. 

Cup a Feel 

You all know about Full Cup Café by now: it is, without a doubt, 

the epicenter of hipsterdom in Hong Kong. Whaddaya mean 

yout’ve never heard of it God, you’re lame. Every level has 

a different theme: the third floor is the music room, which hosts 

indie gigs every Sunday afternoon. On the fourth floor, you’ll find 

a sun-drenched terrace. Visit the website for gig show times. 

3-7/F, Hanway Commercial Centre, 36 Dundas St., Mong Kok, 

2771-7775, www.fullcupcafe.com.hk. 

What the Tfvsjs! 

Up a warehouse space in Ngau Tau Kok, Tfvsjs Café is run by 

the post-rock band of the same name—it’s so hip, you can’t even 

pronounce it. Half-café, half-rehearsal room, it takes up 4,000 

square feet, and that’s spacious by anyone’s standards. On the 

menu are Italian-inspired dishes, such as spaghetti carbonara 

and squid ink risotto. 

Unit B, 10/F, Gee Luen Factory Building, 316-318 

Kwun Tong Rd., Ngau Tau Kok, 2415-4999. 

26 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, SePtember 5, 2014 

Tfvsjs: hipsters can cook

NEW AND NOTED 

with Adele Wong 

RESTAURANT REVIEWS 

Going Loco 

Tacos are back, and they’re going 

mainstream because Castelo Concepts has 

finally endorsed them. Watch out for El Loco 

Gringo (49 Bonham Rd., Mid-Levels), which 

will be serving tacos, tequila and a whole lot 

of debauchery towards the end of this year. 

And K-Town is hot with anticipation for 

Chino (1B-1C New Praya, Kennedy Town), 

former Nobu exec chef Erik Idos’s personal 

venture into Mexican cuisine. Expect cutesy 

Latin-American-slash-Japanese-style-snacks, 

such as market-fish tacos and pumpkin 

kakiage fritters. 

Sheung Wan Revival 

Another “casual American diner” (and I put 

this in quotes because it looks nothing like a 

casual American diner) is quietly going through 

its soft-opening phase as I type. Singing similar 

tunes as The Diner on Arbuthnot Road but 

with an entirely different agenda, Lazy Hog 

(G/F, 29-31 Bridges St., Sheung Wan, 2858- 

1321) is Eugene Chan’s (owner of Lof10) latest 

venture, and offers a variety of cross-sectional 

American dishes such as hushpuppies, nachos 

and jambalaya in a minimalist space with white 

walls and tall tables. If you’ve been to Lof10, 

just imagine that exact aesthetic, minus the 

coffee machines. 

Down a couple of blocks is Just Coffee 

(Shop B, G/F, 16 Tai Ping Shan St., Sheung 

Wan), a tiny cafe that stocks decadent 

desserts like chocolate cakes, cheesecakes 

and tiramisu alongside a long but relatively 

simple selection of drinks. 

At Your Service 

Two new catering services are now available 

for the city’s picky party hosts. First is Butler 

(tiny.cc/butler), run by chef Vicky Lau of 

Tate on Elgin Street. With Butler’s highly 

customizable options, patrons can work with 

Vicky to create canapés and drinks that are 

uniquely theirs in presentation and flavor 

(while still being delicious). 

Then there’s Invisible Kitchen 

(www.invisiblekitchen.com) by chef Tom 

Butler 

Burney, who decided to upgrade his Hong 

Kong Personal Chef services to a brand 

that doesn’t just depend on his existence— 

smart move, Tom! IK provides catering 

and personally delivered meals for junk 

trips, barbecue parties, office lunchers and 

healthy eaters, mostly on Hong Kong Island 

(sorry, darksiders). 

Stop Whining, Start Wining 

Two new wine retailers are trying to simplify 

your decision-making for you, each in its 

own gender-biased way. Chilled Wine 

(www.chilled-wine.com), an online shop 

with overtly masculine tones (and with a 

showroom in Tai Kok Tsui), uses interesting 

imagery to help you conceptualize the 

hundreds of different bottles on offer. 

A riesling from Johannesburg is given some 

context: “If this was candy, all the kids would 

fight for it.” A German cuvée is “The stuff 

men’s dreams are made of.” And if that 

wasn’t clear enough, the following visual 

is also provided: “It is pitch black, you just 

slaughtered the beast in the forest, the grill 

is on, it smells like oakwood, thyme and 

spicy flavors and you know that you are the 

man. You need a man’s drink.” Hear me roar! 

On the other end of the spectrum is 

Pink Pink Wine (Shop B, 2/F, Po Lung 

Commercial Building, 89 Hollywood Rd., 

Central), a physical shop that caters 

specifically to the ladies—in case you 

didn’t get that from the name. Wines are 

categorized into different collections like 

“floral,” “fruity” and “sweet”, and colorcoded 

accordingly. Hear me giggle! 

Speaking of wine shops, retailer Wine 

Beast has launched its own restaurant in 

Wan Chai, presumably to offload its inventory 

in the next most logical way. Le Bistro 

Winebeast (15 McGregor St., Wan Chai, 

2479-6833) offers casual-ish French treats as 

well as a more serious dinner tasting menu 

that comes with a wine-pairing option. 

Email me at adele.wong@hkmagmedia.com 

or follow me on Twitter: @adelewong_hk. 

Rainbow Seafood 

★★★★★ 

Chinese. G/F, 23-25 First St., Sok Kwu 

Wan, Lamma, 2982-8100. 

This open-air waterfront spot has been 

around since 1984 and is arguably 

Lamma’s most famous establishment. 

It’s easily reachable via the free ferry 

to and from Central, Tsim Sha Tsui or 

Aberdeen (call ahead to book). 

HIT Rainbow overlooks a quiet bay, the 

seafood is just so fresh and the servers, 

once you sit down, are attentive. Our 

favorites included the small yet meaty 

steamed lobsters with garlic sauce, 

the steamed scallops with garlic and 

vermicelli and—hands down the winner 

of the night—the sweet and messy grilled 

prawns with honey and pepper sauce. 

We had to order seconds. 

Stack 

★★★★★ 

Pancake house. G/F, 1 Third St., 

Sai Ying Pun, 2549-9787. 

Stack is a small but beautiful venue with 

loads of old-meets-new touches—classic 

tile floors, red neon signage, and black 

metal wall detailing which borrows heavily 

from the tong lau windows of Sai Ying Pun. 

HIT There’s an impressive list of craft 

beers, and cocktails which are paired with 

each pancake. They come pre-made in 

chilled bottles—design is through the roof, 

and taste isn’t bad either. Our “Running 

Honey” dessert pancake ($58) with honey 

butter, mascarpone and honeycomb was 

fine, if light on the honeycomb. Tom yum 

chicken wings ($58) were delicious but 

mismatched the rest of the menu. 

NOM 

★★★★★ 

Italian. G/F, 1-5 Elgin St., Central, 

2540-7988. 

NOM is short for Not Only Meatballs: but 

is it about the meatballs, or not Casual, 

bright and loud, it caters to the bar crowd 

and the dinner set alike. 

HIT The space has just the right 

balance of hip and sophisticated. Our 

main of slow-roasted Iberico lamb ($270), 

despite being stingily portioned and 

looking out of place (it was served on 

a fancy stone plate with unnecessary 

condiments on the side, not exactly rustic 

Italian), was tender and well seasoned. 

MISS There was only a handful of 

average-sized balls to go around, which 

didn’t really jibe with our vision of the 

homey staple. Of the meatballs, the 

MISS The letdown of the night was the 

salt and pepper mantis shrimp ($300-400 

for one). It came highly recommended— 

obviously due to the absurd price tag—but 

the actual flesh was boringly tasteless and 

failed to please. 

BOTTOM LINE Rainbow is a perfect 

place to take out-of-towners, large groups 

or even a dinner date. Just stick to the 

set menus (a good two-person set goes 

for $558) and hold firm for a table by the 

waterfront. Oh—and don’t touch the 

fucking mantis shrimp. 

Open daily 10am-11pm. $$$-$$$$ 

MISS Sadly, the savory pancakes 

weren’t up to scratch: the “Chu” pancake 

($128) with pulled pork came with 

a delicious roasted head of garlic, but 

the pork was far too dry and stringy. The 

“Mexican Sunshine” came with tasty but 

under-seasoned yuzu guacamole, and 

a tiny, miserly quail’s egg sitting on top. 

Everything was also just a bit too cold: 

Is it too much to ask for them warm 

BOTTOM LINE A great idea soured by 

lackluster execution: so far Stack falls flat. 

Open Tue-Sun, 6-11:30pm. $$ 

signature beef/ragout/pasta/ricotta 

combo ($78) was borderline dry. Seafood 

balls ($118) were pleasantly creamy, but 

they weren’t freaking meatballs. Our 

vegetarian pizza ($158) fell far short of 

our expectations. Floppy, watery and just 

a general mess, we couldn’t believe that 

they had been made by the same chef, 

Fabrizio Napolitano, who used to head 

up Goccia. 

BOTTOM LINE We respect the intent 

of this place, but having NOMmed, 

we’re not sure it was worth the time. 

Open Mon-Sat 6pm-12:30am. $$$ 

Edward Wong/SCMP 

Chino 

Chino 

Ratings 

★ Don’t go ★★ Disappointing ★★★ We’ll be back ★★★★ We’ll be back—with friends ★★★★★ You MUST go 

Price Guide 

$ Less than $200 $$ $200-$399 $$$ $400-$599 $$$$ $600-$799 $$$$$ $800 and up 

Price per person, including one drink, appetizer, main course and dessert. Prices do not include bottles of wine unless stated. 

Our Policy 

Reviews are based on actual visits to the establishments listed by our super-sneaky team of hungry reviewers, without the knowledge of 

the restaurants. Reviews are included at the discretion of the editors and are not paid for by the restaurants. Menus, opening hours and 

prices change and should be checked. New restaurants are not reviewed within one month of their opening. Reviews are written from a 

typical diner’s perspective. Ratings are awarded in accordance with the type of restaurant reviewed, so the city’s best wonton noodle stall 

could earn five stars while a fancy French restaurant could be a one-star disaster. 

HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, SePtember 5, 2014 27

Culture + nightlife + film 

Team Jacob 

Opening this week: Hong Kong film “Twilight 

Online.” Thankfully (or sadly, if you’re a 14-yearold 

girl), it’s not a rip-off sparkly vampire teen 

romance—but there are just as many dead people. 

It’s a Hong Kong horror flick based on two real-life 

tragedies: a traffic accident that claimed 21 lives 

on Tuen Mun Road in 2003, and a suicide last year 

at Yau Oi Estate, where a woman dressed in red 

jumped to her death. A detective (Eddie Cheung) and 

his protegé (“BabyJohn” Choi) investigate a series of 

mysterious apparitions. Super sparkly apparitions! 

Opened Sep 4. See film listings (p.34) for details. 


ARTS evelyn.lok@hkmagmedia.com 

Edited by Evelyn Lok 

Sundance Film Festival Preview 

Need to Know 

Theater & Arts 

Urbtix (credit cards) 2111-5999 

Urbtix (enquiries) 2734-9009 

HK Ticketing 3128-8288 

HK Arts Centre 2582-0200 

Fringe Club 2521-7251 

HK Cultural Centre 2734-2009 

HK City Hall 2921-2840 

HK Academy for Performing Arts 2584-8500 

Kwai Tsing Theatre 2408-0128 

LCSD Music Programme Office 2268-7321 

LCSD Dance/Multi-Arts Office 2268-7323 

LCSD Theatre Office 2268-7323 

The Sundance Film Festival brings 

eight awesome films to Hong Kong 

in its mini-fest at The Metroplex. 

By Zach Hines and Evelyn Lok 

A long way from the snowy hills of Utah, the 

Sundance Film Festival is debuting for the first 

time in Asia, here in Hong Kong. 

America’s biggest film festival hardly needs 

an introduction for film buffs, but its strategy is 

to offer a cautious but curated introduction to 

Hong Kong’s cinephiles. 

In the film scene, Sundance is a force to be 

reckoned with, having spawned a film institute, 

workshops, scholarships, and a television 

channel. But it has so far been slow in expanding 

abroad. Aside from a smaller festival in London, it 

has no other programs. Hong Kong was selected 

as the first stop for a small mini-version of the 

festival as a test. John Cooper, the director of 

Sundance Film Festival, notes that Hong Kong’s 

rich cinematic history will connect Sundance 

to a wider audience. “For a long time we’ve felt 

like the quality of work we show has the ability 

to travel overseas, but doesn’t always have the 

chance to do so,” says Cooper. “In response 

to that, we created this event to connect our 

filmmakers to both younger audiences and 

audiences outside the US.” 

Sundance particularly focuses on indie 

films, to highlight new and original talent. To be 

an indie filmmaker and get into Sundance is to 

have “made it”—It’s how legendary directors 

Quentin Tarantino and Steven Soderbergh were 

discovered. 

“We created this event to 

connect our filmmakers to 

both younger audiences and 

audiences outside the US.” 

— John Cooper, director, Sundance Film Festival 

This is one of the reasons why Hong Kong 

is such an exciting destination for the festival. 

“We also see this event as an opportunity to 

learn more about filmmaking in Hong Kong 

and how we might be able to support and 

incorporate that more in our programs,” says 

Cooper. It’s also a way of introducing a wider 

variety of indie cinema to Hong Kong audiences: 

eight films have been taken directly from the 

2014 Sundance Film Festival to represent 

the spectrum of films on show. “Apart from 

cinephiles, many haven’t heard of Sundance in 

this part of the world. So it’s kind of an education 

process, saying that there are other film fests 

too besides Cannes or Venice,” says Bede 

Cheng, The Metroplex’s festival director and 

senior program manager. Aside from the eight 

highlighted film offerings, there’s also a lineup 

of free performances by local independent 

musicians from the likes of The Stay Up, Helter 

Skelter, and Noughts and Exes. 

Hong Kong’s film scene, rife with young indie 

talent looking for bigger audiences now that the 

mainstream has pointed to the mainland, could 

transform the festival into a permanent feature 

on the film calendar. Here are our picks: 

“Infinitely Polar Bear” The film fest opener 

(Sep 19, 27) stars Mark Ruffalo as a father 

suffering from bipolar disorder, foisted on a 

journey of self-discovery after his wife leaves 

to pursue an MBA. Director Maya Forbes will 

join a post-screening talk on Sep 19. 

“Life After Beth” A teen zombie smash 

featuring Audrey Plaza as Dane DeHaan’s 

undead girlfriend (Sep 20, 28). 

“God Help the Girl” Written and directed by 

Belle and Sebastian’s Stuart Murdoch, this film 

is about a trio of lost musical souls in Glasgow 

(Sep 21, 28). 

Sundance Film Festival: Hong Kong Selects runs 

Sep 19-28 at the Metroplex, G/F, E-Max, KITEC, 1 

Trademart Drive, Kowloon Bay, 2620-2200. See the 

full film lineup and buy tickets at hk.sundance.org. 

Stage 

Comedy 

Punchline Comedy Presents: 

Jonny Awsum, John Lenahan, Tim Clark 

The Punchline Comedy Club’s September gig 

features an eclectic bunch: guitar-toting Jonny 

Awsum, who will have you singing along with 

his banterous tunes, followed by magician John 

Lenahan, and UK TV presenter and stand-up 

comedian Tim Clark. See them on opening night 

at Grappa’s Cellar, and at Tamarind thereafter. 

Sep 18, 8pm; Sep 19-20, 9pm. Grappa’s Cellar, 

B/F, Jardine House, 1 Connaught Place, Central, 

2521-2322. $270-320 from www.cityline.com. 

8th Hong Kong International 

Comedy Festival 

This is going to be one funny month, as the 

annual International Comedy Festival returns 

to Hong Kong for its eighth year. It brings with 

it a packed program of international pros, local 

favorites, as well as three nights of preliminary 

rounds of the HK International English Comedy 

Competition (Sep 25-27). It all culminates in the 

finals held at KITEC, where you’ll see the best 

of this year’s comedy gold. South Africa’s top 

comedian Barry Hilton (Sep 4-7) kicks off the 

month, followed by shows by other big names 

each weekend. Head to the website for more 

details. Through Oct 5. TakeOut Comedy, B/F, 

34 Elgin St., Central, 6220-4436. $150-250 from 

www.takeoutcomedy.com; Finals tickets from 


Dance 

SIRO-A Spectacle Projection 

Mapping Show 

The LCSD continues to offer multimedia physical 

theater and dance programs through their 

“Boundless Multimedia” series. Japanese group 

SIRO-A comes to Hong Kong for a performance 

of dance, comedy, mime and shadow puppetry, 

all interacting with light-mapped optical 

illusions, laser effects and pumping electro 

beats. Probably stay away if you don’t like 

flashing lights or fun. Sep 12-13, 8pm; 13-14, 

3pm. Sheung Wan Civic Centre, 345 Queen’s Rd. 

Central, Sheung Wan. $200-260 from 

www.urbtix.hk. 

Left Hander 

The LCSD’s “New Force in Motion” series aims 

to foster up and coming talents in contemporary 

dance. Choreographer Blue Ka-wing’s debut fulllength 

production “Left Hander” is a meditation 

on the freedom, creative energy and unusual 

hangups which emerge after moving out of the 

family nest at age 26. Including, for instance, 

the fact that it’s much harder to use a can 

opener left handed. Maybe we’ll also see pliés 

depicting hunger pangs at the end of the month. 

Sep 12-13, 8pm; 13-14, 3pm. Kwai Tsing Theatre, 

12 Hing Ning Rd., Kwai Fong. $160 from www. 

urbtix.hk. 

Angels Over Broadway 

Aerial Arts Academy celebrates its fifth 

anniversary by throwing one big show full 

of sexy acrobatic feats, as well as a musical 

performance from singer Marsha Yuan. The 

AAA’s very own “Aerial Angels,” plus China/HK 

Pole Dance Champ Tessa Yung and instructor 

Ea Holm will be twirling, as well as performing 

a little cabaret and burlesque too. Sep 12-13, 

8:30pm. House of Siren, (Entrance on Castle 

Steps), 64 Robinson Rd., Mid-Levels. $320-360 

from www.aerialartsacademy.com. 

Musical 

Golden Lotus 

This Canadian-produced musical has been 

13 years in the works, and it’s finally reaching 

fruition at the world premiere in Hong Kong. 

The story is based on the classic Chinese tale 

“Jin Ping Mei,” which is in turn derived from 

the classic novel “Water Margin.” It’s all about 

the ethereally beautiful Golden Lotus, who gets 

wrapped up in a game of blood, lust, and love 

between three men. The original novel was long 

seen as something of a pornographic classic 

thanks to its graphic depictions of sexuality. 

How is that going to translate to the stage Sep 

12-13, 8pm; 13-14, 3pm. Youth Square Y-Studio, 

2/F, 238 Chai Wan Rd., 3721-8888, 

www.goldenlotusthemusical.com. 

$280-350 from www.urbtix.hk. 

Classical 

Retro Groovers at the Fringe 

The Retro Groovers are back on the Fringe 

Club stage after a sell-out performance in early 

August. Their CV is quite a mouthful: they’re a 

10-piece jazz funk fusion, R&B, Latin, 80s, disco 

and dance band. So let’s just assume they can 

play anything and everything with a vintage kind 

of sound. Check them out at the Fringe Dairy. 

Sep 6, 9:30pm. Fringe Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd., 

Central, 2525-1032. $100 in advance, $120 on 

the day, both include a drink. 

The Music of 

Eternity 

This September 

marks Hong 

Kong’s annual 

Counterpoint 

Music Festival, 

featuring a 

concert by 

acclaimed British 

countertenor Iestyn Davies. He’ll be singing 

solo in a program of choral works including 

Pergolesi’s hymn to Mary, “Stabat Mater,” and 

Bernstein’s Chichester Psalms, accompanied 

by local chamber choir Die Konzertisten. 

Sep 14, 3pm. HKU Grand Hall, LG/F, Lee 

Shau Kee Lecture Centre, Centennial Campus, 

The University of Hong Kong, Bonham Road, 

Pok Fu Lam. $120-350 from www.cityline.com. 

Picturesque Music: A Song Dynasty 

Painting Reinvented 

Join the Zhejiang Chinese Orchestra and the 

Hong Kong Chinese Orchestra in this joint 

performance which marks the beginning of 

HKCO’s new concert season. The group will be 

illustrating the idyllic scenes of Song Dynasty 

paintings with an audio-visual show, in which 

you’ll be able to admire 14th century painting 

“Dwelling in the Fuchun Mountains,” while 

listening to a program of modern Chinese 

compositions, such as Hong Kong composer 

Law Wing-fai’s “Flying Brush,” which is an ode to 

Chinese calligraphy. Sep 19, 8pm. Concert Hall, 

Cultural Centre, 10 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui. 

$100-380 from www.urbtix.hk. 

Theater 

ESU Play-Reading: Lady Precious Stream 

Shih-I Hsiung’s 1935 play “Lady Precious Stream” 

was the first West End play ever written by a 

Chinese person. It’s a Chinese-style play written 

in English, about a faithful wife who waits for 

her adventurer husband. It grew so popular 

that it was eventually adapted for film (1938) 

and television (1950). The English Speaking 

Union will be holding a play-reading session at 

Colette’s, upstairs at the Fringe Club, and people 

are encouraged to take part. The playwright’s 

grand-daughter Joanna will also be attending 

the event. Sep 15, 7:15pm. Fringe Club, 2 Lower 

Albert Rd., Central, 2525-1032. Free. Email 

esuhk@netvigator.com to enrol. 

Venus in Fur Re-run 

Due to popular demand, 

Sweet and Sour 

Productions is back with 

another run of “Venus 

in Fur,” David Ives’s 

sexy, award-winning 

2011 play. Missed last 

December’s run It tells 

the story of Thomas, a 

writer holding auditions 

for his new play. Sexy, confident and crass, 

actress Vanda struts into the audition hall toting 

a bag of S&M props, and draws Thomas in as 

they explore the power play between the sexes. 

You don’t want to miss this one. Sep 5-6, 8pm; 

Sep 6, 3pm. Fringe Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd., 

Central, 2525-1032. $190-240 from 



(HK Magazine)Jacktember - adv2_OP.pdf 1 29/8/14 4:55 PM 

ARTS 

Exhibitions 

Martin Parr 

Since the 80s, British photographer Martin Parr has been fascinated by the subject of 

consumption, luxury, and national peculiarities, treading the line between art and documentary 

photography. His best known works include a series of snapshots from the British working class 

of the 80s holidaying in a decaying seaside resort. In his latest project, he looks at Hong Kong, 

snapping pics of tourists vying to step into Louis Vuitton, butchers at their wet market stalls, 

excited revelers at the races, and more. Be at the exhibition opening on September 6 for a 

signing of his new art book, titled “Hong Kong Parr.” Sep 6-Nov 1. Blindspot Gallery, 15/F, Po Chai 

Industrial Building, 28 Wong Chuk Hang Rd., Aberdeen, 2517-6238. 

Lam Tung-pang: Play 

Lam Tung-pang comes back to the theme of “play” 

in this four-month exhibition. On top of his expertise 

with traditional Chinese ink landscapes, he uses 

toys to investigate the way the adult mind looks 

at childhood play, so closely linked to personal 

histories and nostalgia. See tiny diorama figures, toy 

cars and blocks joining in on the fun, with distant 

bamboo forests and mountains as the backdrop. 

Through Sep 30. Espace Louis Vuitton, Louis Vuitton 

Mansion, 5 Canton Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 8100-1182. 

Picasso Ceramics 

As if Picasso’s paintings weren’t figure-bending 

enough already. Among the highlights of his 

ceramic work is a duck-flower-woman’s head-vase, 

so what else can we expect A Desmoiselles 

d’Avignon tableware set See more than 100 of his 

colorfully glazed ceramic works from the Nina Miller 

collection, made public for the first time ever. If it’s 

all too much, go for some regular ol’ 2D weird— 

there will be a few of the artist’s lithographs and 

posters on show as well. Through Nov 2. University 

Museum and Art Gallery, Hong Kong University, 94 

Bonham Rd., Pok Fu Lam, 2241-5500. 

Serenity Above 

New World Developments has always had a hand in the arts, and in preparation for the launch 

of brand new residential complex The Pavilia Hill, it’s celebrating with an exhibition of works 

by two world-class artists: Shanghainese ink artist Zheng Chongbin, and Shunmyo Masuno—a 

Japanese landscape architect, art professor and chief priest of Kenkohji Temple. As the title 

suggests, the works are meant to instill a sense of calmness. Zheng will exhibit two signature 

works that express lightness and fluidity through his ink gestures, while Masuno will put 

together natural rock forms to create an array of zen sculptures representing the five elements. 

Through Sep 14. K11 Exhibition Pop-Up Space, G/F, Cosco Tower, Grand Millenium Plaza, 

183 Queen’s Rd. Central, Sheung Wan. 


nightlife 

Edited 

by Andrea Lo 

andrea.lo@hkmagmedia.com 

Twitter: @andreas_lo 

UPCLOSE Sensi Lion 

Formed in 2010, Sensi Lion is Hong 

Kong’s only Cantonese reggae band. The 

five-piece is performing at the Fringe 

Club for the launch of “Giligulu: Vol. 1,” 

a compilation album of Hong Kong’s 

best indie music. Frontman Mouse 

(second right) tells Andrea Lo about 

being associated with Cantopop and 

gives his thoughts on weed and reggae. 

HK Magazine: So, what is Sensi Lion 

Mouse: Sensi Lion was the rebirth of a suspended 

project. We took it from where it was and headed in 

a totally different direction. It’s a bit like cooking. 

At some point, your tastes change and you want 

to try something spicier. 

HK: Your music is reggae sang in Cantonese. 

What do you sing about 

M: Well, we would prefer people to see us as 

“Canto-laced reggae.” Cantonese is our mother 

tongue—it’s our roots. We are telling people 

about where we live and what’s happening around 

us. It does make sense to tell these stories in the 

local language. 

HK: Do you associate yourselves with 

Cantopop, or is there a stigma attached 

M: We don’t mind people considering us as such, 

as long as they get the messages conveyed in 

our work. Our messages can be as simple as love, 

equality and awakening. Some messages are not 

possible to explain in words. 

HK: Actor and singer Jaycee Chan was 

recently arrested for marijuana possession. 

What are your thoughts on weed 

M: Of course, from a health perspective, 

it is scientifically proven that [marijuana is] 

even less harmful to humans than tobacco or 

alcohol. Whether or not it is considered a drug 

simply depends on how people are using it. Weed 

is related to reggae music due to its Rastafarian 

background. The Rasta man uses this herb as a 

way to become closer to nature and Jah Rastafari 

[Ethiopian emperor Haile Selassie I, seen as 

an incarnation of God by Rastafarians]. People 

should use it with respect. 

HK: What do you think needs to be done 

to help reggae flourish in Hong Kong 

M: The reggae and dub scene has been around 

for some time. A few other artists and labels in 

town, such as Heavy and Magnetic Soul, have 

been working hard to drive reggae and dub culture. 

Being part of the scene, we often collaborate and 

share our efforts with them, rather than just doing 

our own thing. We occasionally do collaborations 

with artists from the mainland or overseas as well. 

We are interested in making Hong Kong recognized 

internationally as the cradle of reggae. 

See Sensi Lion at the Giligulu Compilation 

Launch Party, Sep 13, 9:30pm. Fringe Club, 

2 Lower Albert Rd., Central, 2525-1032. 

$160-180 at the door; $220 in advance with CD. 

Snapline 

Beijing post-punk group Snapline formed in 

the summer of 2005. Check out their abrasive 

noise-rock live in Hong Kong: the band’s known 

for going all-out at their gigs, so this will be 

worth the effort. They’re set to be performing 

some new material at the gig: maybe a 

Cantopop number Sep 7, 8:30pm. Hidden 

Agenda, Unit 2A, Wing Fu Industrial Building, 

15-17 Tai Yip St., Ngau Tau Kok. $140 from 

snapline.ticketflap.com; $180 at the door. 

The Stay Up 

The Stay Up is guitarist and singer Ryan Hui, 

son of the legendary Cantopop star and actor 

Sam Hui. When your dad is the “God of Songs” 

and was the first one to define an entire genre 

of music, you can’t be that bad. Can you 

Sep 10, 8pm. Fringe Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd., 

Central, 2525-1032. $200 at the door, including 

a drink. 

hk picks 

Gigs 

Photo: BFSH via Flickr 

Ne-Yo in Macau 

R&B god singer Ne-Yo is coming to Macau. He first broke into the music scene in early 2006 with 

chart-topper “So Sick,” which, if you remember, was pretty much on repeat that winter. Known for his 

slick, smooth urban beats, he’s sustained his popularity with energetic tunes, usually paired with a rapper 

or DJ du jour. But purists know that Ne-Yo does sexy slow jams best. Sep 27, 10pm. Club Cubic, 2/F, 

Hard Rock Hotel, City of Dreams, Estrada do Istmo, Cotai, Macau, (+853) 6638-4999. $680 before Sep 14; 

$880 thereafter from www.eventbrite.com. 

Clubs 

Back to School Party 

Don your best school uniform costume for 

this back to school party—it’s free to get in if 

you have one on. The party goes on until late, 

so thank god it’s not on a school night. Sep 5, 

10pm. Ozone, 118/F, The Ritz-Carlton, 1 Austin 

Rd. West, West Kowloon, 2263-2263. $150 at the 

door, including a drink. 

Cliché x Budweiser Storm Present: 

Cliché All Stars 

Shanghai is soon to host China’s largest 

electronic music festival, Storm. But if you can’t 

make it this year, check out this pre-festival 

party right here in Hong Kong instead. Electronic 

music record label Cliché is bringing its whole 

team to XXX to spin. Sep 5, 10pm. XXX Gallery, 

B/F, 353-363 Des Voeux Rd. West, Sai Ying 

Pun. Free entry, register in advance at www. 

eventbrite.com; otherwise $100 at the door. 

Hummingbird 

At Bassment’s regular bass music night (it’s not 

called “Treblement,” after all) this month, check 

out Steve Yau, Ray Dollars, Kenji and Steve 

Ellul on the decks. It’s free, yo! Sep 6, 10pm. 

Bassment, LG/F, 13 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central, 

2815-0868. Free. 

Afro Caribbean Night 

Shake to soul, funk, reggae and salsa beats at 

Club 18’s Afro Caribbean Night. What, you got 

somewhere better to be Sep 6, 11pm. Club 18, 

G/F, 18 Lyndhurst Terrace, Central, 2796-8830. 

$100 in advance; call to book. $150 at the door. 

Nu-Mark of Jurassic 5 

Longstanding LA alternative hip-hop crew 

Jurassic 5 has a crew of six, one of whom is DJ 

Nu-Mark. He’ll be spinning at hip-hop-friendly 

Fly. Sep 6, 11pm. Fly, G/F, 24-30 Ice House St., 

Central, 2810-9902. Price TBA. 

Arnold Fang & Storytellers 

Singer and pianist Arnold Fang has been crafting 

his upbeat, poppy tunes since 2000. Performing 

under the name “Arnold Fang & Storytellers” 

(even though it’s just him), he’ll showcase his 

skills at the trumpet, as well as at traditional 

Chinese instruments such as the erhu and dizi. 

Poppily, presumably Sep 6, 8:30pm. Fooody, 

Unit G03, Leader Industrial Centre, Fo Tan Rd., 

Fo Tan, 3586-0863. $160-210 in advance from 

www.putyourself.in; $240 at the door. All ticket 

prices include one drink. 

GDJYB 

Math-folk band GDJYB (short for gai dan jing 

yuk beng, “egg and steamed minced pork”) 

was formed almost two years ago, and recently 

picked up momentum in the indie music scene. 

The band is releasing its debut EP, “No Service 

Charge,” and they’re inviting you to the gig for a 

gai dan jing yuk beng “tasting.” The music The 

meat Who knows Sep 6, 8pm. Hang Out, 1/F, 

Youth Outreach Jockey Club, 2 Holy Cross Path, 

Sai Wan Ho, 2622-2890. $128 from White Noise 

Records (1/F, 720 Shanghai St., Prince Edward); 

$148 at the door. $188 in advance for ticket and 

a copy of EP. 

Underground Reunion 

To honor the 10th anniversary of The 

Underground, disbanded local groups— 

as well as musicians on hiatus—are coming 

together for one night only. The lineup is 

guitarist Benson Looi of Slash!Sakura!Slash!; 

post-ambient art-rockers Endeavour; punk and 

Britrock outfit The Train; as well as False Alarm 

(pictured), the rock ‘n’ roll band whose members 

also established Harbour Records. And of 

course, The Underground’s founder Chris B— 

the fairy godmother of Hong Kong’s indie music 

scene—will also be performing with pop-rock 

girl group, Guitars & Panties. Sep 20, 9:30pm. 

Grappa’s Cellar, B/F, Jardine House, 1 Connaught 

Place, Central, 2521-2322. $150 from 

www.ticketflap.com; $200 at the door. 

Get 

Tickets! 

Clockenflap 

Tickets have just gone on sale 

for Hong Kong’s best music festival. 

The preliminary lineup Tenacious D, the 

Vaccines, Chvrches, Ozomatli and Reggie Watts. 

Nov 28-30, West Kowloon Cultural District. Early 

bird tickets available through Sep, $440-$1,080 

from www.ticketflap.com. 


SPORTS 

Edited by 

Charley Mulliner 

charlotte.mulliner@ 

hkmagmedia.com 

THE STRAIGHT MAN 

with Yalun Tu 

hk picks 

September is My Comedy Month 

Standup comedy is an art. The jokes you tell 

are important, yes, but so is the performance: 

how you hold your mic, your on-stage persona, 

and your interaction with the audience (“crowd 

work”). Together, these elements create 

what might be described as “comedy.” It’s 

conceptually the simplest thing in the world, 

and in execution, one of the most difficult. 

I dipped my toes in the comedy scene a 

year ago after spending some time with the 

Comedy Godfather of Hong Kong standup, 

Jami Gong. Jami owns TakeOut Comedy, a 

standup/improv club in SoHo, which was one 

of the first venues to establish the English 

language comedy scene in Asia. With its rise 

and other new entrants like comedy.hk, Rula 

Bula, Brewhouse, Champs, and one-offs (Hello 

Russell Peters! Hello David Sedaris!) I’ve 

watched comedy in Hong Kong really start 

cooking. Standup has improved by leaps and 

bounds in the last five years—when I came to 

Hong Kong eight years ago I didn’t laugh much; 

now I laugh all the time. That might be because 

now I’m rich and stopped dating psychos but, 

hey, maybe it’s the standup. 

Performing standup is similar to what 

Hobbes said about the state of nature: it’s 

solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short. And 

that’s when people are laughing (zing!). No, 

it’s pretty scary: your hands shake, you worry 

about forgetting your jokes, and you imagine 

some drunk jerk from JP Morgan yelling at you 

as you try to joke about being diagnosed with 

yellow fever. After a while it gets better, or you 

do: things flow comfortably and that drunk jerk 

is already passed out and you can mock him 

for being unsure if he’s sunburned or has Asian 

flush (zing 2!). But you—or at least I—still get 

that rush of nerves, that worry if people are 

going to laugh or sit there silently as you speak 

into that cold horrible void. It’s terrible and 

exhilarating simultaneously. 

I’ve done about six shows in Hong Kong 

over the last year, which is just enough to 

know that you’re not part of the scene despite 

pretending to be. I stumble through jokes about 

entitled expats (me!) and failed relationships 

(me again!), channeling my inner Louis CK/ 

Stephen Wright/Chris Rock/Jerry Seinfeld. 

It’s odd being up on stage and extremely fun 

as well; the nerves create an out-of-body 

experience, and I feel like I’m watching myself 

with the audience. I guess it’s my meditation, 

the same way some people’s yoga is getting 

drunk every Friday in LKF. To each his or her 

own, I guess, unless you want to tell me how 

much you like babies or cats, both of which are 

horrible unless they’re your own. 

So I’m going to try to start coming regularly, 

to make a better commitment to the standup 

scene. To learn how to be funny in front of 

a bunch of paying strangers. It’ll all start in 

September, which is the start of the 8th Annual 

Hong Kong International Comedy Festival 2014, 

which is funny since I didn’t realize there were 

seven other Annual Hong Kong International 

Comedy Festival 2014s. 1 There are lots of 

shows from early September to October 2 

but the exciting one will happen September 

25-27, where I’ll try to compete to be one of 

the funniest people in Hong Kong, after CY 

Leung and his hilarious illegal structures. 

So I guess you should come down, 

laugh lots, cheer for me and vote for me, 

because you once read one of my columns 

and it reminded you of when you were young 

and stupid in Hong Kong and also named Yalun 

Tu and drank far too much and were an expat 

and wore lots of blue shirts. Like anyone who 

went through high school, I know to focus not 

on the objective skills of it all, but of course 

on the popularity contest. It’s how I made it 

through life. 

Oh, and party at my house afterward. 

1 

Shout out to comedian Nick Milnes who enjoys word-based humor (spelling the American way, bitch). 

Like any nascent arts scene, the community is small and jokes/people/circumstances are super incestuous. 

2 

Just Google it for the details—come on, how lazy are you 

Yalun Tu is a columnist for HK Magazine. You can reach him at yalun.tu@gmail.com 

or @yaluntu on Twitter. 

hk picks 

Mira Turns 5 Bash 

The former Miramar Hotel went had a complete makeover in 2009, transforming into the hip, 

trendy property it is today—and it’s celebrating its fifth anniversary with a bash. Head to The Mira’s 

secret garden-esque alfresco bar Vibes, sip on bubbles and party to DJ Compuphonic’s house beats. 

The after-party kicks off at 11pm with an open bar until 2am. There’s also a free bottle of Perrier- 

Jouët bubbles for every fifth guest after 11pm, so bring friends. No word yet on whether Edward 

Snowden will return to his former bolthole to put in an appearance. Sep 12, 8pm. Vibes, 5/F, 

The Mira, 118 Nathan Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 2315-5999. Free entry from 8-11pm; $288 from 11pm 

onwards, including open bar until 2am. 

Standard Chartered Hong Kong Marathon 2015 

It may be a few months away yet, but if the Hong Kong Marathon is already on your radar then you’ll 

presumably have been pounding those streets for a while now. Don’t miss out on one of the 15,000 

available spots when registration opens on September 16 at 7am. Can’t quite pull off the full 42km 

The half marathon, 10K and wheelchair races all take place on the same day. Funds raised will go 

to three charities: eyecare org Seeing is Believing, Hong Kong Anti-Cancer Society and Hong Kong 

Paralympic Committee & Sports Association for the Physically Disabled. Get training. Jan 25, 2015. 

Register online at www.hkmarathon.com. Entry fee $300. 

Sports Events 

Prudential Hong 

Kong Tennis Open 

Big news for tennis 

fanatics: a pro 

women’s tennis 

tournament hits our 

shores next week. 

Watch the stretchy 

young champions 

harrumph and gurn 

across the court: 

Canadian World 

No. 7 Eugenie Bouchard, a Wimbledon 

finalist, joins 2014 French Open doubles 

champions Peng Shuai of China and Hsieh 

Su-wei of Taiwan, plus former Grand Slam 

champion Francesca Schiavone of Italy 

(pictured). If you’ve burned too much energy 

watching the tennis, head to the “Savour” popup 

in Victoria Park, which features 16 top Hong 

Kong restos, a wine theater with free wine 

classes and a 150-seater auditorium for chef 

masterclasses. Game, set and match: Hong 

Kong. Sep 8-14. Victoria Park, 1 Hing Fat St., 

Causeway Bay, 2890-5824. $160-880 from 

www.hongkongtennisopen.com/ticketing. 

East Aquathon 16.3 

Calling all urban warriors: grab your place 

now for October’s East Aquathon, a sea, 

mountain and road race combo from 

Southside’s Chung Hom Kok beach to Quarry 

Bay. You’ll first need to complete a 1.5km 

open-water swim, before hiking 7.5km up and 

over “The Twins” and finishing with a 7.3km 

tarmac sprint to Tong Chong Street. Either fly 

solo, or if you’re feeling less brave, attempt a 

tag team with another racer. Or you can just 

come to the party at the finish line for food, 

drinks and entertainment! Entry is open until 

Oct 4, with proceeds going to the Sedan Chair 

Charities Fund. Oct 18. Chung Hom Kok Beach, 

Chung Hom Kok Rd., Stanley, 2891-1505, 

tiny.cc/hkaquathon. Entry fee $400. 

IP Global TriChallenge 

Have you ever wondered what it takes 

to deliver disaster relief to remote areas 

of the globe Find out with the IP Global 

TriChallenge—a test of intelligence and strength 

by land, sea and air to simulate what workers 

for relief charity ShelterBox face out in the 

field! Teams of four must raft, abseil and 

run across 10km of terrain in Sai Kung, all 

while carrying a huge ShelterBox crate to its 

destination and completing challenges (such 

as building the raft, before you have to use it) 

along the way. Registration closes on Oct 15, 

so start vetting your teammates now. There’s 

a minimum fundraising target of $20,000 per 

team, which goes to Shelterbox. Nov 22. 

Pak Tam Chung, Tai Mong Tsai Rd., Sai Kung. 

tiny.cc/hktrichallenge. 

Hong Kong 

Climbathon 

Get those leg 

muscles in gear 

for this year’s 

edition of the 

charity stair run 

event, the Hong 

Chi Climbathon. 

Central Plaza 

is the target: 

75 floors to 

the top is the 

challenge. (FYI: 1,688 steps!) What’s in it for 

the winner A Citizen watch, so you can time 

yourself the next go around. If you’re the sort 

who’d usually take the elevator, you could 

just plump for the 29-floor individual or team 

relay races. Funds raised will benefit the Hong 

Chi Association, a charity for people with 

intellectual disabilities. Enroll before Sep 10 

at www.hongchi.org.hk, 2661-0709; Minimum 

donations apply. Oct 11. Central Plaza, 

18 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai. 


Edited by Evelyn Lok 

FILMevelyn.lok@hkmagmedia.com 

The Hundred Foot Journey PPPPP 

(India/UAE/USA) Family/Dramedy. Directed by Lasse Hallström. Starring Helen Mirren, 

Om Puri, Manish Dayal, Charlotte Le Bon. Category IIA. 123 minutes. Opened Aug 28. 

Food porn is so hot right now: food blogs, Instagram, everyone on your Facebook newsfeed, 

Jon Favreau’s “Chef” and now “The Hundred Foot Journey” from Lasse Hallström (“Chocolat”). I’m 

not complaining. Why would I, when a food film-making veteran takes on a light-hearted comfort 

movie, in which the audience gets to eye-fuck haute cuisine being prepared by hot chefs But it’s 

not the food here that leaves a sour taste, but the clichés, cultural stereotypes and caricatures. 

A young boy in Mumbai learns everything about cooking from his wise and loving mama. 

But a political uprising ends in a predictable tragedy at the family-run restaurant, sending them 

on an aimless wander around Europe. Led by their stubborn patriarch Papa Kadem (Om Puri; “The 

Reluctant Fundamentalist”), the family bounces from London to the French countryside in a broken 

down van—which finally gives up next to a picturesque town. Papa Kadem decides to settle the 

family here and quickly buys up a large empty house that will become “Maison Mumbai,” the 

family’s new Indian restaurant—with his handsome son Hassan (Manish Dayal) as the head cook. 

And it’s here where they’ll annoy the restaurant across the road: the elegant, Michelin-starred 

fine-dine establishment “Le Saule Pleureur” helmed by tight-lipped owner Madame Mallory (Helen 

Mirren; “The Queen”) and pretty sous chef Marguerite (Charlotte Le Bon; “Yves Saint Laurent”). 

Loud, colorful, wickedly out of place in the small French town, and yet stiff competition for the 

Michelin-star obsessed Madame Mallory, Maison Mumbai quickly becomes the target for cultureclashing 

shenanigans. Papa Kadem and Mallory play tricks on each other—everything from buying 

out all of the ducks at the market to filing complaints with the mayor—and while it’s all a bit silly, 

Puri and Mirren (her bad French accent aside) are a pleasure to watch. They’re having fun in their 

roles and with each other. But though their smile-inducing side dish of a subplot is entertaining, 

it’s sadly not enough to carry the rest of the meal. 

Things take a turn when a violent act from a third party brings the two houses together. At this 

point, the focus turns to Hassan, who is now learning to cook French cuisine with Madame Mallory. 

After his training, he runs away to Paris to become an internationally renowned chef. Now that he’s 

left behind the family and the town, it all goes downhill and everything gets pretty weirdly dark. 

Well, Disney-dark. Hassan starts wearing a black chef’s uniform, grows a perfectly trimmed beard 

and starts drinking too much red wine—and this is bad 

The relatively unknown young lead characters—dashing Dayal as the talented Hassan, and 

Le Bon as Le Saule Pleureur’s pretty sous chef Marguerite—do their best with what they’re given. 

It’s not until the messy third act, when the dark side of Hassan emerges, that we see Dayal’s 

shortcomings as an actor. But the fault lies in Steven Knight’s (“Eastern Promises”) clichéd script 

and Hallström’s clumsy direction. 

This Disney-, Oprah Winfrey- and Steven Spielberg-produced family movie is entirely made up 

of cultural clichés—which is a shame, since you really want to like this movie. It’s all about food, 

Mirren and Puri are awesome, and the two young chefs are adorable. “Hundred Foot Journey” 

has more or less all the necessary ingredients of an East-meets-West fusion dish, but without the 

heart of “Chef” or the kitchen education of Pixar’s “Ratatouille.” Plus that last bite of a final act is 

anything but perfect. Katie Kenny 

Coming Soon 

Concussion 

(USA) After lesbian housewife Abby (Robin 

Weigert) suffers from a concussion, she 

suddenly can’t take the suburban humdrum 

anymore and decides to explore a new 

identity. Calling herself Eleanor, she sets up 

trysts with scores of women around the city, 

all without her wife’s knowledge. Is this “Blue 

is the Warmest Color: the Later Years” Opens 

Sep 11. 

If I Stay 

(USA) Gayle Foreman’s teen novel “If I Stay” 

took six years to get translated to the big 

screen. All the better, as the amazing Chloë 

Grace Moretz was able to bag the role as 

the protagonist Mia. She’s a cello player at a 

crossroads: should she go to Juilliard or run 

off with the love of her life In the midst of 

this, a horrific traffic accident causes her to 

have an out-of-body experience, in which 

she sees her life from all angles. Woohoo! 

Convenient narrative device! Opens Sep 11. 


Need to Know 

AMC Cinema, 2265-8933 

www.amccinemas.com.hk 

Broadway Circuit, 

2388-3188 

www.cinema.com.hk 

Golden Harvest Cinema, 

2622-6688 

www.goldenharvest.com 

MCL Cinema, 3413-6688 

www.mclcinema.com 

UA Cinema, 

3516-8811 

www.uacinemas.com.hk 

The Metroplex, 2620-2200 

www.metroplex.com.hk 

The Grand Cinema, 

2196-8170 

www.thegrandcinema. 

com.hk 

The Purge: Anarchy 

(USA) It’s unbelievable but last year’s 

“The Purge” has managed to scrape 

together material to make a sequel. Future 

Amurica! enjoys a zero percent crime rate 

thanks to an annual purge: one day every 

year where all crime, including murder, is 

made legal. This time, it’s all about a man 

looking for revenge for the death of his son. 

There’s going to be a whole lot of mayhem, 

death and destruction, guaranteed by the 

production team: Michael Bay, Brad Fuller 

(“The Amityville Horror”), Andrew Form (“The 

Texas Chainsaw Massacre,”) and Jason Blum 

(“Paranormal Activity”). Like slow-burn indie 

romances Stay at home. Opens Sep 11. 

Sex Tape 

(USA) “Bad Teacher” co-stars Cameron Diaz 

and Jason Segel return for another naughty 

comedy, this time as a married couple 

looking to reignite the bedroom flames. 

They decide to try out every single position, 

trick, and game, and film it all for their own 

records. But unbeknownst to them, their 

iPad sends it up to the cloud and suddenly 

everyone they know receives a copy of a 

very personal video. So they dash around 

town, sabotaging all their friends’ devices. 

In other words, it’s a subtle commentary on 

the evils of the encroaching singularity. JK. 

Expect loads of naked bits. Opens Sep 11. 

But Always 

(Hong Kong/China) Nicholas Tse breaks 

his 10-year streak of action-thrillers with 

this romance. He and Gao Yuanyuan 

play childhood best friends who grew 

up together in Beijing in the 70s. They 

encounter each other again years later in 

New York, and begin a love affair—but each 

is already spoken for. Ah, painful, platonic 

love. It’ll be a bit of a sobfest—maybe with 

few of Nic’s pectorals too. Opened Sep 4. 

The Expendables 3 

(USA) The beef-fest continues. After busting 

teammate and knife specialist Doc (Wesley 

Snipes) out of prison (Snipes, coincidentally, 

has also just gotten out of jail in real life), 

Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) and his 

team of deadly merceneries return to the 

fray for yet more inexplicable explosions, 

unending firepower, and bullet-proof 

muscles. This time, it’s to face Conrad 

Stonebanks (Mel Gibson), co-founder of The 

Expendables-turned-baddie. Drink every 

time a broad-shouldered team member 

doesn’t die. Opened Sep 4. 

Third Person 

(USA) Paul Haggis is back with another 

film of a similar thread to his Oscar-winning 

mindblower “Crash,” one that’s constructed 

from the bottom up with seemingly 

unrelated but supposedly seamlessly 

interwoven stories. Liam Neeson plays a 

Pulitzer Prize-winning writer dealing with a 

despondent wife and his lover (super-sexy 

Olivia Wilde). At the same time, an American 

businessman (Adrien Brody) gets wrapped 

up in a ransom case in Rome, while halfway 

across the world Julia (Mila Kunis) fights for 

visitation rights for her son after an accident 

resulted in divorce. Opens Sep 11. 

Wood Job! 

(Japan) Despite the unfortunate English 

title, “Wood Job” is actually about Yuki, a city 

boy who joins a lumberjack training program 

after he fails his university entrance exams 

and is dumped by his girlfriend. But let’s 

face it: with a premise like this, it’s probably 

just one big wood joke, masked as a coming 

of age film. Opens Sep 11. 

Opening 

Begin Again 

(USA) Director John Carney of indie hit 

“Once” is back with another movie about 

the mending power of music. This time, it 

stars Keira Knightley as Greta, a songwriter 

dumped by her now high-flying musician 

boyfriend (Adam Levine). Mark Ruffalo is 

Dan, a newly fired music producer who’s 

reeling from his job loss and a recent 

divorce. When he discovers Greta singing at 

an open mic night, sparks fly and they pick 

themselves back up through the all-healing 

nature of ice cream. Just kidding: it’s through 

the power of song. Opened Sep 4. 

The Necessary Death of 

Charlie Countryman 

(USA) Yep, Shia LeBoeuf’s gone fullarthouse 

in this psychological romance 

thriller with Evan Rachel Wood and Mads 

Mikkelsen. After Charlie Countryman’s 

(LeBoeuf) mother dies, he travels to 

Bucharest in search of adventure. And he 

finds it in the shape of emotionally troubled 

cellist Gabi (Wood) and her psychotic 

ex-husband Nigel (Mikkelsen). Think acid 

trips, revolvers in purses, and terribly 

botched plotting. Just like any other Eurotrip. 

Opened Sep 4. 

One Chance 

(UK) David Frankel (“The Devil Wears 

Prada”) returns with another story about 

the underdog—this time based on “Britain’s 

Got Talent” star Paul Potts, an unlikely opera 

singer who wowed audiences with his tenor 

in 2007, going on to win the series. Starring 

James Corden as Potts, “One Chance” tells 

Potts’ inspiring story, following his family’s 

divided support, his failures along the way, 

and finally his successes. It teaches us 

that, yes, anyone can achieve their dreams. 

Maybe it’s time to start practicing in the 

shower again. Opened Sep 4. 

Twilight Online 

(Hong Kong) Thankfully, it’s not another 

sparkly vampire teen romance. Instead 

this is a Hong Kong horror flick based on 

two real-life events: a traffic accident that 

claimed 21 lives on Tuen Mun Road in 2003, 

and a suicide last year at Yau Oi Estate, in 

which a woman dressed in red jumped to 

her death. A detective (Eddie Cheung) and 

his protegé (“BabyJohn” Choi) investigate. 

Opened Sep 4. 


FILM 

Temporary Family PPPPP 

(Hong Kong) Romantic comedy. Directed by Cheuk Wan-chi. Starring Nick Cheung, 

Sammi Cheng, Angelababy, Oho Ou. Category IIA. 99 minutes. Opened Aug 21. 

Hong Kong comedian, writer and director Cheuk Wan-chi (aka “GC Goo-bi,” as her old radio 

personality was known) presents a very Hong Kong premise: love in a city where citizens are slaves 

to the property market. She strings together a parody of this harsh reality, poking fun at the sad 

lengths that people will go to in an effort to buy a home. Cheuk successfully makes the joke, but 

her underdeveloped plotline falls flat. 

The plot revolves around Hong Siu-lung (Nick Cheung, “Unbeatable”), a property agent working 

the daily grind selling Mid-Levels luxury homes. He’s the kind of guy who has merged life with 

work. With a permanent sycophantic smile plastered across his face (props to Cheung for acing 

the character), Siu-lung is always looking for ways to sell off a few more units and earn the extra 

moolah. Perhaps it’s partly due to his exposure to the heated housing market, and partly thanks 

to his girlfriend (Myolie Wu) who demands to be installed in a 1,000-square-foot apartment before 

she will agree to marry him. Siu-lung sets out to double his entire life’s savings in a year. He strings 

together newly divorced client Charlotte (Sammi Cheng); Ah Hak (Angelababy), his step-daughter 

from a previous marriage; and Very, the rich mainland intern at his agency (Oho Ou Hao) to chip 

in for the first installment on a luxury pad, so they can sell it for a profit within a year. The scheme 

soon goes awry when each of the investors tries to cling to the apartment for their own ends. 

“Temporary Family” is full of outlandish humor, ranging from cutting witticisms (Nick Cheung 

in smiling deadpan: “Don’t rent this out to a family: knock down all the walls so it’s a 30K studio 

flat for a rich expat”) to mo lei tau “nonsense” gold complete with numerous cameos (former 

Secretary for Security Regina Ip, for one) and downright gross pubic hair jokes. 

Just as the humor is exaggerated, the acting is also big, theatrical and cartoonish. Angelababy 

as Ah Hak, neglected by her low-income birth mother, is a caricature: tanned, brash and uncouth. 

The best and most emotionally resonant performance comes from Sammi Cheng, who plays 

Charlotte: a fragile woman with a tough facade, still holding on to the hope that her ex-husband 

will want her back, and holding onto her apartment, ready for his return. In a delicate depressed 

state on her would-be anniversary, she has a romantic moment with Siu-lung, and suddenly he’s 

proclaiming his love. It comes out of nowhere. Humor, sadness, even anger are director Cheuk’s 

strong suits, but maybe not so much romance. 

The characters are forced together, as are the disjointed plot threads. With the puppet-like 

acting, improbable premise, and sparse vignettes of character development, it’s almost as if the 

apartment becomes the backdrop to a stage play, and you can’t help but expect the curtain to 

come down and the actors to take a bow. The shiny plastic panorama views of Victoria Harbor 

don’t help. Perhaps these tenuous connections are a by-product of Cheuk’s focus on social 

commentary: At one point, Siu-lung and his temporary family rush to sell the luxury pad to a 

mainland billionaire. It’s a sad observation of what living and working in Hong Kong has become: 

big smiles for the nouveau riche mainlanders, just so we can get by. 

Ultimately, “Temporary Family” tries to be a comedy with a heart: it’s all about freedom from 

our financial burdens, and living without the shackles of property. Thanks to its whirlwind story, 

though, the heart doesn’t quite come across. This isn’t the first film about Hong Kong’s killer 

property cycle and it won’t be the last: but for now, let it suffice. It’s exhausting enough having 

to live it and breathe it every day. Evelyn Lok 

Continuing 

22 Jump Street 

(USA) Jonah Hill and Channing Tatum return 

for yet another unlikely bromance in the 

sequel to “21 Jump Street.” After successfully 

busting a drug circle two years ago while 

posing as high school students, they’ve been 

sent on a new covert mission: this time in 

college. Things may be different, but it’s got 

their same brand of slapstick and silliness, 

and that’s all that matters. PPPP 

All-Round Appraiser Q: The Eyes of 

Mona Lisa 

(Japan) Shunsuke Sato directs this silly (even 

sillier) Japanese take on “The Da Vinci Code.” 

Master art appraiser Riko Rinda is tasked by 

a mysterious man to appraise the Mona Lisa. 

She ventures to Paris, learning that hidden 

behind the dark, warm eyes of Da Vinci’s 

muse, there lies a hidden message… that 

could jeopardize their lives. 


Café.Waiting.Love. 

(Taiwan) Ready your tear ducts, because 

celebrated Taiwanese writer Giddens Ko 

(“You Are the Apple of My Eye”) is back with 

a new drama. It’s the tale of lonely barista 

Si-ying, who spends her days watching the 

customers at Café Waiting Love. The cast 

of characters includes her mysterious, 

reserved boss (played by Vivian Chow); 

Abusi, a tomboyish barista she befriends; 

and ultimately Zeyu, a regular at the coffee 

shop she begins to fall for. 

The Congress 

(USA) “Miramount” studio offers aging 

actress Robin Wright a contract for the right 

to digitally replicate her. Twenty years later, 

on-screen entertainment no longer satisfies 

the audience’s appetite, and Miramount 

introduces a drug that allows users to 

hallucinate, thinking they star in movies 

of their own imagining. Fusing live-action 

and animation, “The Congress” is a 

colorful, surreal commentary on the 

entertainment biz. PPP 

Desert Dancer 

(UK) Richard Raymond directs this 

biographical film about Afshin Ghaffarian, a 

self-taught Iranian dancer who persevered 

with his art despite a countrywide ban on 

dancing. He forms an underground dance 

company, venturing out into the desert 

to perform away from the watchful eyes 

of the government… but things only get 

increasingly dangerous. PPP 

Fading Gigolo 

(USA) John Turturro writes, directs and 

stars in this NYC comedy, also starring 

Woody Allen. Our main man Fioravante 

(John Turturro) is strongarmed by his buddy 

Murray (Allen) into becoming a gigolo for the 

rich women of NYC. Murray is his pimp of 

sorts, and at first they do it for the money— 

but then Fioravante finds something he 

didn’t know he was looking for. Not, you 

know, down there. But the usual: love, in the 

form of a suburban male wank fantasy. PPP 

Film Festivals 

Cine Italiano! 

This much-acclaimed Italian film festival is 

back in town for its third year. Opening the 

festival is Turkish director Ferzan Özpetek’s 

“Fasten Your Seatbelts” (Sep 17, 19) about 

an opposites-attract whirlwind romance. 

Watch out for “How Strange to be Named 

Federico” (Sep 18, 20), a biography by 

Ettore Scola reminiscing about his lifelong 

friend and legendary director Federico 

Fellini; “The Best Offer” (Sep 18, 20), 

starring Geoffrey Rush as a cut-throat pirate 

auctioneer; and “Nina” and “Quiet Bliss” 

(both Sep 21), which were festival favorites, 

both filmed in sun-drenched southern Italy. 

Sep 17-21. The Grand Cinema, 2/F, Elements, 

1 Austin Rd. West, West Kowloon, 2196-8170. 

$55-80 from www.thegrandcinema.com.hk. 

www.cine-italiano.hk. 

For the Emperor 

(South Korea) Lee Min-ki stars as a 

baseball pitcher who gets caught in a 

rigged match. His career may be over, 

but those sly qualities catch the eye of a 

mob boss, who takes him under his wing. 

With money and ambition in his eyes, 

he rises up the ranks, and takes on the 

kingpin too. 

The Hundred-Foot Journey 

(USA) See review, p. 34. 

The Missing Picture 

(France) Rithy Panh was only 11 when 

he and his family were torn away from his 

home in Phnom Penh to be re-educated in 

the countryside. Without any photographs 

from this horrifying period under Pol Pot’s 

rule, Panh recounts his childhood memories 

by using clay figurines to document the 

atrocities commited by the Khmer Rouge in 

the 70s. This film was Oscar-nominated for a 

reason: see it. PPPP 

Sin City: A Dame to Kill For 

(USA) In this long-awaited sequel, star 

power continues to pack as much of a 

punch as the violence. Joining the original 

cast are Josh Brolin, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, 

Lady Gaga and Eva Green’s boobs. It all 

promises even more of the same graphic 

novel-style brutality, sex and plenty of husky 

gangster talk, but to be honest, it’s getting a 

bit old. PP 

The Swimmers 

(Thailand) The titular swimmers in this 

Thai ghost story are two frenemies on 

the university swim team, Perth and Tan. 

Secretly, Perth is in love with Tan’s girlfriend, 

Ice. After they have one guilty tryst together, 

she finds out she is pregnant and commits 

suicide—and obviously comes back to 

haunt them. So don’t have sex. Because you 

will get pregnant. And die. 

Temporary Family 

(Hong Kong) See review, opposite. 

Joseph Mankiewicz: 

Théatre du Filmé 

So many date night potentials right here. 

CineFan is screening a whole host of black 

and white films by Joseph L. Mankiewicz, 

which means all the classic Hollywood glam 

and romance with some of the most iconic 

leading ladies ever to cross the silver screen. 

See a selection of six films, including “All 

About Eve” (Sep 6; Oct 4) starring Bette 

Davis and a young Marilyn Monroe, “The 

Barefoot Contessa” (Oct 1; 11) with Ava 

Gardner, and “Cleopatra,” (Sep 13; Oct 12) 

with Elizabeth Taylor in her most legendary 

role. Sep 6-14. Agnes b. Cinema, Arts Centre, 

2 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai, 2582-0200. 

$65 from www.urbtix.hk. 

Special 

Screening 

Persona 

Arthouse fans, you’re in luck this month. 

CineFan brings us two special screenings of 

Ingmar Bergman’s 1966 psychological drama 

about a young nurse and a mute actress, 

and their increasingly strained relationship. 

It’s considered to be one of the best and 

most powerful films of the 20th century: see 

it on the big screen while you can. Sep 7, 

2:30pm; Sep 14, 8pm. Agnes b. Cinema, Arts 

Centre, 2 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai, 2582-0200. 

$65 from www.urbtix.hk. 

A Wonderful Hobby ....... 

A Wonderful career ! 

I.A.F.Tomas de Bruyne, Belgium & 

Jane Packer School London & Certificate / 

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International Classes taught in English available : 

group interest classes 

private tuition, intensive course, 

corporate training/team building workshops, 

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The Hong Kong Academy of Flower Arrangement 

Facebook 

www.hkafa.com.hk 

HOTLINE : 2388 2979 

E : info@hkafa.com.hk 

15/F Hennessy Plaza, 164-166 Hennessy Road, Wanchai, Hong Kong 

8/F Lokville Commercial Center, 25-27 Lock Road, Tsimshatsui, Kowloon. 

Website 


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PROPERTY / BUSINESS 

2805 8000 / 6222 0480 

info@studiostudio.com.hk 

Sheung Wan, Wan Chai, Causeway Bay, North Point 

Individual Bathrooms, Air Con, Internet, TV, electricity, water, 

management fees, weekly housekeeping included. $5.5K - 15K per month 

MOUNTAIN VIEWS/CLEAN AIR/ 

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3-storey villa G.A. 1,900’, S.A. 1,863’. 

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E&M Accounting-& Taxation 

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com 

Music memorabilia wanted. 

CDs, album covers, posters, t-shirts, 

ticket stubs, guitar picks or any 

music-related objects sought by 

passionate collector with a good 

home. musicpassionnn@gmail.com 

Rent/Sale (mainly Midlevels) g(gross) n(net area) br(bedroom) esc(escalator) for sale a1 a4 b4 This week new favorites: rent: 

1. U Lam Terrace g535 n480 new décor, nice tree-view, furn, v quiet 21k 2. Seymour Road lowrise g700 n620 new western décor 

26k 3. Bellevue Place g503 n354 new décor&furn, open view, quiet 22k 4. Yee Ga Court (Bonham Rd) g993 n719 nice tree-v, 

2 new baths, large living rm, 26k 5. On Fung Msn g633 n545 brand new décor, open central view, 3 big br, 2 min to esc 26k 

6. Bonham Crest g718 n530 with terrace, new décor 27k 7. Fairwind Manor g1100 n852 3br+1 maid+balcony, open park view 

37k 8. Valiant Park(Conduit Road) g669 n521 mv, large kitchen, new bathroom, w/pool 23k(cp+2.4K) 9. Scenic Garden (Kotewall 

Rd) g1532 n1223, sv+cp+bal, 53k 10. Hoover Msn (Oaklands Path) g1500 n1357 sv+cp+bal, 58k 11. Robinson Rd Beauty Court 

g1771 n1350 sv+cp+bal, 58k 12. Conduit Rd Peace Court g1800 n1433, cp, new décor, big bal, 56k 13. Elegant Gdn (Babington 

Path) g1750 n1465, open-v, nice décor, 52k 14. Garfield Mansion (Seymour Rd) g752 n584 +ter+bal+sv, bright & quiet, 9/f, 26k 

A) with outdoor space 1. Bonham Crest g718 n530 (+terr 200’) tree-v, brand new décor, 27k 2. Wise Manson g1000’ n752’ + 

roof-top. Open view 3 br next to esc 30k. 3. Millcon City g598’ n484’ top floor with roof & seaview 23k 4. Belmount Gdn g780’ 

n511’ sv+bal park-v 28k 5. Garfield Msn g752 n584 +ter+bal, sv, 9/f, 26k 6. Garfield Manson 752g 584’n ter+sv 26k. N) newly 

decorated flats 1. Tai Shing Bldg g1000’ n738’ 2 big br bright 1 ensuite new décor. Open-view 28k 2. Primose Court g639’ n504’ 

2br window to base 23k 3. Jadeston Ct g507’ n370’ brand-new western décor seaview 16k & 25k (fully furn) 4. Hing Yip Bldg 

(Hing Hon Rd) near hku, g1000 n651, open-v, 2br, new décor, 27k G) good efficiency flats: shop- 1. Central Wing Gut st 1400’ 

near ‘the centre’ suitable for restaurant/cloth shop 58k. 2. Caine Road(near The Park) 1203g 883n open-v 3br 30k. 3. Lynhurst 

Terrace 1000 big studio on 1/f. Big lon. Window to base. Former as salon. Near escal 30k B) above 20k 1. Conduit Tower g732’ 

n567’ m/v + c/p beside escator 25k 2. Blessing Gdn(Robinson Rd) g1068’ n819’ large living rm(22’x11 treeview 33k 3. Goldwin 

heights g991’ n776’ w/pool open-v 30k 4. Case Bella g1136’ n797’ sv w/pool new décor 42k 5. Seymour Place g1108’ n903’ 

3 br + ball near welcome + esc 37k 6. Euston Ct. G704’ n587, + pool/ squash qtr + big garden 22kC) below 20k 1. Flora Ct g500 

n360 nice décor 17k 2. Million City (close to ESC) g595’ n404 2br 15k brand new dec 20k 3. High St. Lowrise 339g nd 11.5K 

mb: 9073-7395(can whatsapp or sms) email: josephchan210wl@yahoo.com.hk 

UrbanCube Causeway Bay 

Serviced Studios $6,000 - $9,500. Newly constructed, 

fully furnished, & really clean. Individual bathrooms, 

a/c, internet, TV, electricity, water, management fees, 

weekly housekeeping included. Near Times Square & MTR. 

salesinquiry@urbancube.com.hk 2577-8022 

www.urbancube.com.hk 

HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 5, 2014 39

BUSINESS 

HEALTH & BEAUTY 

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Immigration Services 

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Australian Taxation 

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must lodge an annual return. Let 

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email: helen.wong@smats.net 

THE LEATHER DOCTORS 

We provide leather care services 

including cleaning, repairing and color 

restoration of any leather items such 

as handbag, jacket, shoes, sofa. 

Call 8120-0155 or visit 

www.leatherdoctors.com.hk 

• Traditional Thai Massage $178 (45 mins) 

• Essential Oil Massage $198 (45 mins) 

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Reservation Tel: 2677 7191 

YOUR BUSINESS CONSULTANCY for 

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Education / SPIRIT & MIND 

Market Place 

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Private : HK$175 /lesson 

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center 2544-6979. Causeway Bay Branch 

2151-1791. eclchk@yahoo.com.hk 

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INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL MANDARIN 

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German lessons 

at your home / North Point classroom 

by native Swiss-German. Children / 

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DIGITAL FILMMAKING 

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Learn filmmaking and 

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September Group: 

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October Group: 

25-26 October 2014 

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DETAILS: www.filmschool.hk 

9385-7329 

NEED SOMEONE TO TALK TO 

• Counselling for individuals, couples, families 

& adolescents 

• Sliding fee scale; affordable options for all clients 

• English, Cantonese, Mandarin, Hindi, Marathi and 

Marwadi speaking counsellors 

Call 2523 8979 Now for Appointment 

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Serving the Community over 35 years. A Member Agency of The Community Chest 

Mandarin & Cantonese 

Focus on Fluency Program 

This program is ideal for beginners with limited-to-no 

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Website: www.focusmandarin.com.hk 

Email: info@focusmandarin.com.hk 

Address: 19/F, Silver Fortune Plaza, 1 Wellington Street, Central, Hong Kong 

TEL: (852)-3182 7384 

For advertising 

rates 

and further information on Box Ads. 

Call 2534-9552. 

You are not alone 

An English speaking support group 

for people bereaved by suicide 

meets on the first Tuesday of each 

month. Next meeting Tuesday 

2nd September, The Mariners’ Club, 

Middle Road, TST(opposite the 

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no commitment required. For 

further information call the 

Samaritans (Tel 2896-0000) 

or Email jo@samaritans.org.hk 

Learn to sail and 

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Hong Kong’s most experienced sailing 

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email: amy@amyleunglanguage.com.hk 

IMPROVE YOUR ENGLISH 

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My wife and I went through a long-distance 

period when we were still dating and she 

went away to school. I used porn as 

a masturbatory aid during that time. I did not 

tell her this, as she believes that porn use 

is equivalent to cheating. Well, fast-forward 

a couple years (and a marriage), and I let it 

slip that I had watched some porn during 

the times we were apart. She flew off the 

handle, and ever since then insists that we 

can’t have children because I’m a pedophile 

for watching porn that may or may not have 

contained women acting like teenagers. She 

literally yells at me in public if my gaze goes 

anywhere near girls or women she perceives 

to be younger than she is. The same goes 

for watching TV, looking at magazines, you 

name it. A lot of this stems from her best 

friend’s cousin, who worked with people 

in the porn industry and seduced underage 

girls into sexual acts. To her, watching porn 

is the same as what this guy did, but I am 

pretty sure that I am not a sexual predator. 

I’ve never made any kind of sexual advance 

toward anyone else in the time I’ve been 

with her, and until my admission, she 

assumed I was a generally good person. 

At this point, I’m not sure how to get her to 

see me for the person I am rather than the 

person she thinks I’ve become. How do 

I convince her I am still the same person she 

fell in love with and get her to put aside this 

irrational fear she has about me 

– Sincerely Not A Pedophile 

There’s just one thing you should be trying to 

convince your wife of right now, SNAP, and it’s this: 

You aren’t gonna put up with her abusive bullshit 

anymore. So go gather your things together—don’t 

forget your balls—and move the hell out. 

Because this conflict has nothing to do with 

porn, it has nothing to do with your character, and 

it has nothing to do with the criminal behavior of 

your wife’s best friend’s cousin. (Whatever the fuck 

to that rationalization.) The issue here—the only 

issue—is that you made the mistake of marrying 

a controlling, irrational, abusive psycho. Sticking 

around to reason with a CIAP doesn’t get you 

anywhere. Begging and pleading with your wife— 

desperately trying to convince her that you’re the 

person she fell in love with—only demonstrates 

that you’ll take whatever she dishes out and come 

crawling back for more. 

Get out. Leave. Don’t look back. DTMFA. 

Want a second opinion I posted your letter 

to my blog, and here’s what one of the more 

astute commenters had to say: “This is what 

happens when you marry someone you already 

know you have to lie and cheat to be with. She 

set her conditions plainly—she feels porn use is 

evil. You knew you were fine with porn use and 

used it yourself. You should have broken up for 

irreconcilable differences then and there. But 

instead you chose to lie and to pretend to be 

someone you weren’t. Break up now and find 

someone who accepts you for who you are.” 

There you go, SNAP: This advice columnist 

and an anonymous commenter both agree that 

you have to leave this woman. Do you fear being 

alone You shouldn’t. Being alone—and being free 

to enjoy porn—is better than being with someone 

like your wife. But if you can’t stand the thought of 

being alone, if you absolutely, positively must stay 

with this woman for reasons you don’t list (does 

she have any redeeming qualities), then you will 

have to tell the CIAP what she wants to hear: You 

did a terrible thing (you didn’t), you’re an addict 

(you’re not), you have a problem (you don’t). Find a 

therapist for some confidential sessions, talk about 

the weather, then come home and tell your wife 

that you’ve been cured and that you will never 

look at porn—or other women—ever again. 

And even if you never look at porn ever 

again—which isn’t likely—your controlling, 

irrational, abusive spouse will find something 

else to blow up at you about. If you don’t take my 

advice and DTMFA now, SNAP, you’re gonna have 

to DTMFA at some point. 

My husband and I had been in the market for 

some Japanese bondage rope and we finally 

found a kit we liked. The day before it arrived, 

I found out I was pregnant. My husband was 

excited when he opened the package, but 

the pregnancy means we probably won’t be 

able to use them for a long time. The ropes 

are now set aside, unused. Personally, I don’t 

think I can wait. However, since we’re both 

very new to rope bondage (and bondage in 

general), I would prefer if we knew what 

we were doing. Are there any resources you 

can point me in the direction of that can 

give us some guidance in safe rope bondage 

practices (specifically during a pregnancy), 

or should we just play it vanilla until the baby 

arrives – Bondage With Baby 

If you go to BabyCenter.com and search “safe to 

ski while pregnant,” you’ll find a post that says, 

yeah, skiing is safe enough during the first two 

trimesters and highly unlikely to harm the fetus— 

barring a major accident. (Skiing is obviously 

no-go during the third trimester.) Mary Lake Polan, 

chair emeritus of the department of gynecology 

and obstetrics at Stanford University School of 

Medicine, included this in her response to the 

skiing-while-pregnant question: “[The] baby is very 

well protected in the uterus—it usually takes a car 

accident or major trauma to harm the baby.” 

I’ve never been pregnant myself, BWB, 

but I snowboard and I have been tied up—and 

snowboarding is a lot more physically taxing. 

Twisted Monk, the bondage expert and hemp rope 

merchant (twistedmonk.com), advises couples who 

want to do bondage while one partner is pregnant 

to stick to “limb ties” (rope around arms and legs, 

no rope around torsos and breasts). Hardcore 

BDSMers are advised to avoid serious pain and/or 

fear play, as both can result in the release of stress 

hormones; fetal exposure to stress hormones has 

been linked to low birth weight, restricted blood 

flow to the uterus, and adult mood disorders. 

So stick to limb ties only, BWB, avoid scary 

fear-play scenes, and don’t let your husband tie 

you up in a moving car. 

I have been married for 26 years and dated 

my wife for two years before that. We have 

not been intimate for the last 11 years. 

I have been going to a sex therapist to deal 

with this issue. My wife says that she will 

make an appointment but does not follow 

through. She now has informed me that she 

never wants to have sex again. It seems 

strange to want to leave this marriage over 

sex, but what other options do I have 

– Sexless Husband Is Troubled 

You’re not a regular reader, SHIT, are you If you 

were, you would know that your options are hiring 

sex workers, cheating on your wife (but it hardly 

counts as cheating, as you’re not cheating your 

wife out of anything she wants), or seeing other 

women with your wife’s permission. Go ask your 

wife what she wants—an open marriage or a failed 

one—and then make your move(s). 

On the Savage Lovecast, fashion force-ofnature 

Simon Doonan weighs in on camel toes: 

savagelovecast.com. 

Please call 2984-9381 

www.unitekhk.com 

Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday 

at thestranger.com/savage.mail@savagelove.net 


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Market SMART JOBS Place 

Free Will 

Astrology 

Rob Brezsny 

VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22): ”I have a hypothesis that everyone is born with the 

same amount of luck,” says cartoonist Scott Adams. “But luck doesn’t appear to 

be spread evenly across a person’s life. Some people use up all of their luck early 

in life. Others start out in bad circumstances and finish strong.” How would you 

assess your own distribution of luck, Virgo According to my projections, you are 

in a phase when luck is flowing stronger and deeper than usual. And I bet it will 

intensify in the coming weeks. I suggest you use it wisely—which is to say, with 

flair and aplomb and generosity. 

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• Senior Waitress (job experience in relevant industry 

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We offer an attractive remuneration package and excellent 

career opportunities to the right candidates. 

Please apply with full resume and present/expected salary 

to: salma@nur.hk and ranakadam@amazake.hk 

ERA BARBERS 

Hong Kong 

We are recruiting! 

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where our cuts are cooler and our environment is chilled, 

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Address: G/F, 36 Pottinger Street, Central 

LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 22): When my daughter Zoe was 

seven years old, she took horse-back riding lessons 

with a group of other young aspirants. On the third 

lesson, their instructor assigned them the task 

of carrying an egg in a spoon that they clasped in 

their mouths as they sat facing backwards 

on a trotting horse. That seemingly improbable task 

reminds me of what you’re working on right now, 

Libra. Your balancing act isn’t quite as demanding, 

but it is testing you in ways you’re not accustomed 

to. My prognosis: You will master what’s required 

of you faster than the kids at Zoe’s horse camp. 

Every one of them broke at least eight eggs before 

succeeding. I suspect that three or four attempts will 

be enough for you. 

SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21): Peter the Great was the 

Tsar of Russia from 1682 until 1725. Under his rule, 

his nation became a major empire. He also led 

a cultural revolution that brought modern Europeanstyle 

ideas and influences to Russia. But for our 

purposes right now, I want to call attention to one 

of his other accomplishments: The All-Joking, 

All-Drunken Council of Fools and Jesters. It was a club 

he organized with his allies to ensure there would 

always be an abundance of parties for him to enjoy. 

I don’t think you need alcohol as an essential part 

of your own efforts to sustain maximum revelry in the 

coming weeks, Scorpio. But I do suggest you convene 

a similar brain trust. 

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21): In Roald Dahl’s 

kids’ story “James and the Giant Peach,” 501 seagulls 

are needed to carry the giant peach from a spot near 

the Azores all the way across the Atlantic Ocean 

to New York City. But physics students at the U.K.’s 

University of Leicester have determined that such 

a modest contingent wouldn’t be nearly enough 

to achieve a successful airlift. By their calculations, 

there’d have to be a minimum of 2,425,907 seagulls 

involved. I urge you to consider the possibility that 

you, too, will require more power than you have 

estimated to accomplish your own magic feat. 

Certainly not almost 5,000 times more, as in the 

case of the seagulls. Fifteen percent more should 

be enough. (P.S. I’m almost positive you can rustle 

up that extra 15 percent.) 

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19): So far, 53 toys 

have been inducted into the Toy Hall of Fame. 

They include crayons, the jump rope, Mr. Potato 

Head, the yo-yo, the rubber duckie, and dominoes. 

My favorite inductee—and the toy that is most 

symbolically useful to you right now—is the plain 

old cardboard box. Of all the world’s playthings, 

it is perhaps the one that requires and activates the 

most imagination. It can become a fort, a spaceship, 

a washing machine, a cave, a submarine, and many 

other exotic things. I think you need to be around 

influences akin to the cardboard box because they 

are likely to unleash your dormant creativity. 

AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): I’m not opposed 

to you fighting a good fight. It’s quite possible you 

would become smarter and stronger by wrangling 

with a worthy adversary or struggling against a bad 

influence. The passion you summon to outwit 

an obstacle could bestow blessings not only on you 

but on other people, as well. But here’s a big caveat: 

I hope you will not get embroiled in a showdown 

with an imaginary foe. I pray that you will refrain from 

a futile combat with a slippery delusion. Choose your 

battles carefully, Aquarius. 

PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20): During the next six 

weeks, I suggest you regard symbiosis as one of your 

key themes. Be alert for ways you can cultivate more 

interesting and intense forms of intimacy. Magnetize 

yourself to the joys of teamwork and collaboration. 

Which of your skills and talents are most useful 

to other people Which are most likely to inspire 

your allies to offer you their best skills and talents 

I suggest you highlight everything about yourself 

that is most likely to win you love, appreciation, 

and help. 

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19): I don’t usually do this kind 

of thing, but I’m going to suggest that you monitor 

the number six. My hypothesis is that six has been 

trying to grab your attention, perhaps even in askew 

or inconvenient ways. Its purpose To nudge you 

to tune in to beneficial influences that you have been 

ignoring. I furthermore suspect that six is angling 

to show you clues about what is both the cause 

of your unscratchable itch and the cure for that itch. 

So lighten up and have fun with this absurd mystery, 

Aries. Without taking it too seriously, allow six to be 

your weird little teacher. Let it prick your intuition 

with quirky notions and outlandish speculations. 

If nothing comes of it, there will be no harm done. 

If it leads you to helpful discoveries, hallelujah. 

TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): In English, the rare word 

“trouvaille” means a lucky find or an unexpected 

windfall. In French, “trouvaille” can refer to the same 

thing and even more: something interesting 

or exceptional that is discovered fortuitously; a fun 

or enlightening blessing that’s generated through 

the efforts of a vigorous imagination. Of course 

I can’t guarantee that you will experience a trouvaille 

or two (or even three) in the coming days, Taurus. 

But the conditions are as ripe as they can be for 

such a possibility. 

GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20): The Dutch word 

epibreren means that even though you are goofing 

off, you are trying to create the impression that you 

are hard at work. I wouldn’t be totally opposed 

to you indulging in some major epibreren in the 

coming days. More importantly, the cosmos won’t 

exact any karmic repercussions for it. I suspect, 

in fact, that the cosmos is secretly conspiring for 

you to enjoy more slack and spaciousness that 

usual. You’re overdue to recharge your spiritual 

and emotional batteries, and that will require extra 

repose and quietude. If you have to engage in a bit 

of masquerade to get the ease you need, so be it. 

CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22): When James Franco 

began to learn his craft as an actor, he was young 

and poor. A gig at McDonald’s paid for his acting 

lessons and allowed him to earn a living. He also 

used his time on the job as an opportunity to build 

his skills as a performer. While serving customers 

burgers and fries, he practiced speaking to them 

in a variety of different accents. Now would be an 

excellent time for you to adopt a similar strategy, 

Cancerian. Even if you are not doing what you love 

to do full-time, you can and should take stronger 

measures to prepare yourself for that day when you 

will be doing more of what you love to do. 

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22): Here are a few of the major 

companies that got their starts in home garages: 

Apple, Google, Microsoft, Mattel, Amazon, and 

Disney. Even if you’re not in full support of their 

business practices, you’ve got to admit that 

their humble origins didn’t limit their ability 

to become rich and powerful. As I meditate on the 

long-term astrological omens, I surmise you are 

now in a position to launch a project that could 

follow a similar arc. It would be more modest, 

of course. I don’t foresee you ultimately becoming 

an international corporation worth billions of dollars. 

But the success would be bigger than I think you 

can imagine. 

Homework: Make a playful effort to change something you’ve always assumed you 

could never change. Testify at Truthrooster@gmail.com. 


ackup 

First Person 

Painter and multimedia artist Simon Birch has been based in Hong Kong since 1997. Over the years, 

he’s risen to the top of the local arts scene. He tells Andrea Lo about how government bans led to his 

career as an artist, surviving cancer, and responds to reports that he is leaving Hong Kong for good. 

I am not 

leaving Hong 

Kong at all. 

Wherever it is in the world, I don’t give 

a shit. Whoever gives me a space, I’ll make 

art in it. 

I am not leaving Hong Kong at all. I’ve 

put a lot of time, energy and effort into 

this place. 

Photo: Bernard Ng/TEDxWanChai 

I grew up in the Midlands in England, about 

100 miles north of London. 

I think of myself as poly-cultural. I’m English 

but I’m not really English. My dad is Armenian 

and my mum is Polish. I’ve been living in Hong 

Kong most of my adult life. 

I left home when I was 16. It was the birth 

of rave music culture in England. I was swept 

up in that. 

Up until that point, football hooligan culture 

was one of the biggest movements in the UK. 

When rave culture and ecstasy came along, 

it all changed. All the people who were 

smashing your face in a couple of weeks ago 

were suddenly hugging you on the dance floor. 

I made poor decisions. I started a club night 

and messed it up. I ended up broke. 

I decided to leave England. I got a really 

cheap ticket that had 10 stops along the way. 

I eventually ended up in Australia, where I 

became a keen surfer and rock climber. I stayed 

for a few years. 

When my visa ran out, I came to Hong Kong. 

I knew a couple of people here and crashed on 

their sofa. 

I worked in a bar, then got a job as a laborer, 

working on the Tsing Ma Bridge. 

It was fun. If the weather was bad, you didn’t 

have to work. I went home and painted. 

The government banned high-access work, 

so I was suddenly made redundant. 

Then the government banned raves. 

I lost my day job and my weekend job. 

I went to a lot of galleries, and they all said no. 

I cut out the gallery system and did it by myself. 

I didn’t sell anything for a while, but eventually 

I started getting commissions to do portraits. A 

lot of those people were rich and well connected, 

and they really championed and promoted me. 

Suddenly I had a waiting list. It snowballed 

from there. 

I sold my first painting here in 2003 for about 

$500. Couldn’t believe it. I thought, “I’ve made 

it!” Now the paintings are worth anywhere from 

$200,000 to $1 million for the big ones. 

I am working on my first solo show in London, 

and someone else has helped me produce an 

enormous installation in New York. Both those 

projects happened because there is not much 

happening for me here. 

In New York and London, people are like, 

“Who the fuck are you” You think: “Wow, I need 

to get back to Hong Kong, where I’m noticed.” 

It’s really humbling, which is good. 

The truth is, if I do really well overseas, 

my profile will be a lot bigger. 

The bigger my profile is, the more power 

I have to actually have a positive influence on 

the community at large. 

Hong Kong is a difficult place to be a local 

artist. I think every artist feels it. 

Hong Kong made me as an artist. 

If it wasn’t for the struggle with adversity, 

I probably wouldn’t be making such big, 

bold paintings. 

It’s so infectious and dynamic here. 

You’re in this neon landscape—this living, 

breathing, grinding, driving, twisting, 

turning, amazing environment. 

Hong Kong needs love, nature and 

culture—all these socially enriching things 

that seem to be missing because we focus 

so much on material things. 

We have everything we need to solve 

all the problems in this city: all this money 

and power. We could clean the air, make 

a better quality of life here, and celebrate 

creative people—not just the wealthy. 

After being diagnosed with cancer, 

I was scared of dying for about 24 hours. 

The next morning, I thought, “I’m gonna 

own it.” 

I spent a year thoroughly depressed, 

thinking it was gonna come back and 

get me. 

The insecurity of cancer is going to 

stay with you forever. But we’ve all got 

issues, right 

I’ve flirted with money and fame. I was 

taking any commission that came my way. 

But it didn’t make me happy. 

The most important lesson I’ve learned 

is to keep my mouth shut. And realizing 

materials and ego were the wrong thing 

to pursue. What I really should have been 

chasing all along was love. 

I was DJing on weekends and running my 

own parties, so I had a backup income. 

I’m doing OK. But it’s no fun being at a party 

when you’re the only one dancing. 

HK Magazine talked to Simon Birch 

at last month’s TEDxWanChai. 

XKCD 

Randall Munroe 


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