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UPFront
HongKabulary
Street Talk
Mutually Assured Decoration
(muːtʃəliː æʃO:rd dɛkəreɪʃn), n.
Phenomenon by which Christmas shopping mall decorations
become increasingly insane year on year, as no single mall
is willing to back down and do a sensible display.
“I just came back from a mall in TST that has a centerpiece where a robot Santa
is interfering with a clockwork Rudolph. What is going ON”
“It’s a tragic case of Mutually Assured Decoration.”
Caption This
HONG KONG—A bailiff posts an injunction order in Mong Kok. (Felix Wong/SCMP)
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Cultivating Christmas spores for maximum infectious jollity.
Hanging combustible stockings precariously close to over-clocked
electric heater.
Five golden rings for five stashed-away mistresses.
Prophylactic tinsellectomy.
Googling “nog.”
Modern Day Martin Luther Paves Path Toward Freedom
Urban Bureaucrat Travels the World, Tagging Surfaces with Triplicate Paperwork
City’s Bailiffs ‘Simply Overwhelmed’ With All the Attention
Fast Facts
Ho Ho Ho
How are we preparing for the festive season
Weapon House is an online shop specializing in medieval
swords and armor. Owner Rei Tsang has been collecting
weapons for over 12 years. He tells Yannie Chan about his
collection and making leather armor for his cats.
HK Magazine: Why medieval weapons during house parties—my friends and I all
Rei Tsang: In most cartoons and movies, gear up and take loads of photos.
men have weapons that feel like
extensions of their personalities. I like HK: Which one is your favorite
the sense of justice the weapons carry: RT: A sword even taller than
they’re used to kill monsters and villains. a person—the Dragon Slayer
I have about 300 weapons, and I have Sword from the manga “Berserk.”
some custom-made equipment that only I loved it so much I decided to
exists in manga. My collection is all cold actually produce it. I drew the
weapons, meaning they do not involve design and had a factory make
explosives. These older weapons are like it. It’s smaller than it is in the
art. A machine can churn out hundreds of manga, but even so, I can’t
guns and rifles a day, but it takes months hold it properly. Creating
and years to create a sword.
something that only exists
in the fictional world into
HK: How do you feel about the
an actual weapon gives
violence inherent in all weapons me intense pleasure.
RT: Many do say that to me, and they think
of weapons as vicious objects. Firstly, I only HK: What’s the craziest thing
collect and sell unsharpened weapons. you’ve ever done
That basically makes them safer than fruit RT: Aside from opening Hong Kong’s first
knives. But more importantly, unlike modern weapon shop That would be making leather
weapons, archery and the art of wielding a armor for my cats, so they can be battle cats.
sword take years to perfect. That trains your I spent days making the armor, and they
mind as well.
hate it! You have no idea how many photo
attempts it took to get a nice shot. They were
HK: Is it legal to sell weapons
begging me to take the armor off.
RT: I was worried about this, and I consulted
my lawyer friends. It turns out that you can HK: How have these weapons
sell sharpened Japanese swords—weapons changed you
that can seriously injure someone—and RT: This might sound a bit dramatic, but it
it’s perfectly fine. But you can’t own or sell teaches me patience and determination.
weapons that are smaller in size and therefore Designing and making a weapon from scratch
easily hidden. Things like knuckle dusters, is a pain in the neck. It can get tedious, and it
butterfly knives and extendible batons are takes many attempts. My current project is to
prohibited, but many people still ask about create a true-to-size Dragon Slayer Sword:
them. I only stock unsharpened weapons and I’ve already bought several machines to make
if I come across a customer who seems off, the curvature.
I only sell him decorative weapons.
HK: Zombies take over Hong Kong.
HK: What do you do with all
What’s your game plan
your weapons
RT: Since all of my weapons are unsharpened
RT: Unfortunately, I do not know how to use and some are unrealistic, I’m not sure they
them. It would be cool to learn the different would help very much. But chainmail, an
sword styles and martial arts, but I’m more armor made of small metal rings linked
into looking into the history behind each together, protects the body very well. I’d
weapon. I used to publish a free magazine, immediately put that on and run away.
called “Weapon House: Weapon News,” about
the weapons’ designs and lesser-known facts. Check out Weapon House at www.facebook.
I sometimes take out my weapons and admire com/WeaponHouse.
them. My collection also comes in handy
12 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014