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HK
MAGAZINE NO.1073 FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014 www.hk-magazine.com
Hong Kong Christmas Carols
Songs to salve your seasonal woes

PAGE 3
18
COVER STORY
Christmas carols to inform and entertain
Conspiracy
Corner
It’s time once again for our ever-popular
Conspiracy Corner, in which we reveal truths
that the lamestream media wouldn’t dare impart.
It ends on Lung Wo Road.
But where did it start It started where all
things start: Sierra Leone. Ebola. It’s ravaging Africa
and has spread to Texas in America. What state does
Texas almost touch That’s right. Missouri. What’s
in Missouri
Ferguson. Little known fact: a small city outside
of Ferguson is known for its main product: pepper
spray. Yes, you’re getting it. The exact same pepper
spray supplied to the Hong Kong Police. Laced with
ebola, perhaps
What else do you use pepper for That’s right,
kiddies… food.
And who is eschewing food Joshua Wong has
started his hunger strike in order to regain the
spotlight—at the same time that the third installment
of the “Hunger Games” movies hits theaters. The
parallels are plain to all but the most blind of souls.
Sent to battle in a televised area as the populace
looks on, divided Clearly, the movies have been
constructed to back up Wong and Scholarism.
Think about it. The movie is called
“Mockingjay”—or, “Mocking J.” Which J has more
to profit from this entire affair than pro-democracy
media tycoon Jimmy Lai
Who’s in charge
Publisher and General Manager Greg Crandall
Editor-in-Chief Zach Hines
Managing Editor Sarah Fung
Editor Adam White
Features Editor Kate Springer
Senior Associate Editor Adele Wong
Online & Social Media Manager Katie Kenny
Staff Writers Andrea Lo, Evelyn Lok,
Charlotte Mulliner
Reporter Yannie Chan
Web Developer Timothy Cheng
Production Manager Blackie Hui
Art Director Pierre Pang
Senior Graphic Designer Mike Hung
Graphic Designers Elaine Tang, Iris Mak,
Ryan Chan, Siu-Fa Wong, Tammy Tan
Production Supervisor Kelly Cheung
Where to find us!
HK Magazine Media Ltd.
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E-mail: hk@hkmagmedia.com
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member of:
contests, updates, stories
You may also have noticed that the weather
has turned colder, seemingly overnight. Where does
this newfound breeze hail from The north, of course.
What else is in the north Cadres. You want examples
of foreign influence Look to the weather, friend. The
answer is blowing in the wind.
As usual, the Hong Kong Observatory’s
forecasts are all over the place. Similarly misplaced
forecasts are the purview of Financial Secretary
John Tsang, who makes an art of predicting the
exact opposite of what will happen to Hong Kong. His
recent warning that Occupy Hong Kong will stunt the
city’s growth, all while retail sales rose 4.8 percent
in September and tourism increased 12.6 percent in
October, leaves only one possibility: He is an idiot.
Now put it all together: A “hungry” Joshua
Wong, Philip Seymour Hoffman (RIP), cold
weather RIGHT NOW of all times, John
Tsang is an idiot, and there’s a new, hostile
administration in Taiwan.
Foreign forces, folks. It couldn’t be
anything else.
facebook.com/hkmagazine
Finance Manager Karen Tsang
Assistant Finance Manager Penny Cheng
Senior Accountant Alex Fung
Internal Compliance Officer Lucy Wong
Accountant Winson Yip
Assistant Accountant Coa Wong, Edwin Lee
Administrator Roy Lam
I.T. Manager Derek Wong
Messenger Li Sau-king
Use your iPad's QR scanner app
to download our tablet version,
with all the photos, trailers and
extras you just can't get in print!
latest news and trends
@hk_magazine
28
travel
Eat your way through
Melbourne (leave
room for coffee)
36
dish
Talking turkey
for Christmas
62
first person
Mighty pianist
Yundi Li
24
december
The top 10 things to
do in month No. 12
33
shopping
X’mas gifts for under
$500: because even
love has a budget
48
film
“The Theory of
Everything” doesn’t
quite cover it all
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014 5

mailbag
Mr. Know-It-All’s Guide to Life
Dear Mr. Know-It-All,
Christmas is coming up! Aside from all the presents and the mall
decorations, is there anything more to Christianity in Hong Kong
– Christian Soldier
There are 854,000 Catholics and Protestants of the Communist Party, and you begin
in Hong Kong, about 12 percent of the
to understand why the CCP gets antsy
population. What’s interesting is the role around religion, and why there’s a sense
that this percentage has played in Hong that religious freedoms must be protected
Kong, particularly in the fight against Beijing. as much as personal ones.
Given the Catholic Church’s reputation as
How did it all get started The history of
a hide-bound organism resistant to change, Christianity in Hong Kong is, as you’d expect,
it’s surprising that Christianity has had such largely the work of the British. In China,
a prominent voice in our city’s opposition. it’s a different, more interesting story.
Cardinal Joseph Zen Ze-kiun has
The arrival of Christianity in China
long been an outspoken supporter of
comes almost entirely down to one man:
human rights and political freedom, using Jesuit missionary Matteo Ricci. In 1583
his considerable platform to act as a
Ricci traveled from Macau to the city of
notable pro-democratic voice. Pro-dem Zhaoqing, in northern Guangzhou. There,
grandees Anson Chan and Martin Lee are Ricci studied Chinese language, literature
both Catholic, as is Next Media’s Jimmy and culture, and spread the word of God.
Lai. (Although so is ex-CE Donald Tsang: In 1601 he became the first westerner to
and then there’s the ultra-conservative be invited into the Forbidden City, thanks to
Society for Truth and Light, which decries his fame as a man of science. Ricci used his
masturbation, cursing and homosexuality.) position to preach to the literati of Beijing.
Occupy Central founder Benny Tai is a Seeing a common thread in Confucianism
committed Christian, and OC co-founder and Christianity, he strove to present the
Reverend Chu Yiu-ming, of the Chai Wan latter as the culmination of the ideas of
Baptist Church, made his bones by helping the former.
student leaders to flee China after the
But there’s one other synthesis of east
1989 Tiananmen Square massacre. Student and west for which this displaced Catholic
leader Joshua Wong is an evangelical
should be known. In 1602, at the behest
Christian who credits his faith as one of of the Wanli Emperor, Ricci combined his
his prime motivations.
knowledge of the lands of Europe and
Why is there this level of Christian America with his hosts’ knowledge of Asia,
involvement in the suffrage debate It
to create the Chinese-language “Map of
comes down to two things, of course: first, the Ten Thousand Countries of the World.”
the idea that human rights are largely in It was one of the great collaborations of
line with the Christian ethos. Second, that history: a map that drew on the combined
Beijing is largely hostile to western religion, expertise and art of east and west, and
despite the growing number of Christians turned them into a far greater whole. It was
within China: One study estimates 100 one of the earliest acts of globalization,
million Christians in the motherland.
a statement that humanity was vaster than
Compare that to the 86.7 million members empires. Not a bad legacy for a Jesuit priest.
Our tablet app: Out Now!
“ Is HK Magazine this out of sync
with its readership”
Umbrella Angst
In our “Welcome to Umbrella Land” feature
[Nov 21, issue 1071], we explored the creative
corners of the protest zone, including the Lennon
Wall and the urban farm in the middle of the city.
Here’s what our Facebook fans had to say.
Okay, maybe the Lennon thing is cool, but
everything else is just trash. Trash that needs
to be cleaned up so the majority of us can get
back to our regular lives. Is HK Magazine this out
of sync with its readership You guys do know
the majority of HK is fed up with this and would
rather see these kids and so called art gone from
their lives But then again you guys are probably
a bunch of expats with no real roots to this place.
This is beautiful!
Tiger Thai
Very inspiring!
Alison Farr
Performance Review
Our Facebook fans had mixed feelings
about Adam White’s film review of “John Wick”
[Nov 14, issue 1070].
Adam White writes the best movie reviews ever.
Caroline F. Ward
Do you know
what I know
Your Carols for the Winter Months:
Mr. Know-It-All answers your questions and quells your urban concerns.
Send queries, troubles or problems to mrkia@hkmagmedia.com.
#PrivateEyeHK
Jason Wong
Please, just pack up and leave. I for one am tired
of seeing kids occupying public area. What they
are asking is unrealistic and they are causing
financial damage for many residents.
Ken Iwaki
This is hands down one of the worst movies
of the year. Who actually writes these reviews
Oh, it’s the same person who brought to us
the oh-so-witty “HK tour with CY Leung” and
the masterpiece “How to be a HK hipster”.
Grow up.
Shani Co-n
Write in and Win!
Got something to say Write us! Our letter of
the week will receive a $500 voucher to spend at
Seasalt, valid for dinner Monday through Friday.
23 Mosque St., Mid-Levels, 2790-7211,
www.seasalt.com.hk. Follow Seasalt
on FB: tiny.cc/hk-seasalt.
The Boy in the Bubble
Photo by Adam White
6 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

Sponsored Feature

THE WEEK
SAT
SUN
THU
Friday 12/5
K In Da Club
Brand new LKF nightclub Illusion—which
boasts the only karaoke facilities in the hood—
is joining forces with Universal Music for the
EDM “Bass You Can Feel” Experience,
which promises to be a night full of new
releases. There’s an open bar for the first hour,
so get there early.
6:30pm. 2/F, Cosmo Building, 8-11 Lan
Kwai Fong, Central, 2526-9996. Free.
Saturday 12/6
Marketing Department
Shopping in Sham Shui Po just got even better.
Following the success of previous events, the
Tai Nan Street Free Market returns. This
street market will be home to tons of stalls
offering arts and crafts, leather goods, vintage
knick-knacks, henna and more.
11am-6pm. Tai Nan St., Sham Shui Po.
Sunday 12/7
Tree-Huggers, Unite
You don’t have to spend every weekend
drinking—try doing something that’s actually
good for you. Sai Kung Sessions, featuring
pros in wellness and nutrition, take place at the
Sai Kung Sunday Market this month. There’s a
yoga demo and a talk on making eco-friendly
choices during the holiday season.
2pm. Hong Kong Academy, 33 Wai Man
Rd., Sai Kung. Free; see tiny.cc/hk-session.
Monday 12/8
Fayrest of Them All
Get into the holiday spirit with carol concert
The Fayre of St. John’s, then head to the
after-party at Mott 32. Your money goes to
local charity Maggie’s Cancer Caring Centre.
7-8:30pm. St. John’s Cathedral, 4-8 Garden
Rd., Central. Minimum donation $2,500;
email maggies@quintessentially.com.
Tuesday 12/9
Fresh Flicks
The Fresh Wave International Short Film
Festival screens local and overseas indie
hits alike. Today, catch “Paris On the Water,”
the story of an aging Israeli starlet who
must come to terms with her fading
glamor and deteriorating health. Merry
Christmas, everyone!
Dec 5-19. See Film, p.52.
Wednesday 12/10
Chocolate Party
Christmas is almost here, but obviously
you were too disorganized to prepare for it.
Go out and buy a half-priced advent
calendar, then eat it all in one sitting.
Alone, in your bedroom.
Thursday 12/11
Perfect Matcha
Finnish design brand Marimekko has teamed
up with Log-On Cafe for some Scandinavianstyle
afternoon tea sets ($78-129). Nibble on
smoked salmon canapés, crème brûlée, fresh
fruit tarts and other light bites. Green tea fans,
get excited: there’s a “matcha fantasy” cake
on the menu.
Through Dec 14, 2pm. Log-On Cafe,
Shop 260-261, 2/F, Phase 1, Cityplaza,
18 Tai Koo Shing Rd., Tai Koo, 2736-3866.
Log on to
Marimekko’s tea spread
Coming Up
Porsche it Real Good
Always wanted to ride in a Porsche
Uber has teamed up with the luxury
car brand and there’ll be half a dozen
Porsches available for 30-minute trips next
weekend. The ride will set you back $200,
and all proceeds will go to Operation
Santa Claus, a joint charity initiative
organized by the SCMP and RTHK.
Supercars for good Count us in.
Dec 12, 3pm–Dec 14, 4pm. $200.
8 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

NEWS
Edited
by Yannie Chan
yannie.chan@hkmagmedia.com
Twitter: @yanniecsy
Last Week In Reality
Sat 22
Big Blast A gas explosion, heard and felt by neighbors more than 500 meters away, kills one man
and seriously injures six fire officers in a Shek Kip Mei public housing estate. The explosion takes
place just as firemen enter an apartment with a suspected gas leak. The 56-year-old man living in
the flat is found dead, wrapped in eight layers of clothing and three pairs of trousers. The police
suspect that the man had turned on the gas to commit suicide. One fireman remains in critical
condition, and the other five are stable.
Sun 23
Public Punishment A dozen sales associates from electronics store Broadway are
seen standing in a line in Mong Kok. One of the associates tells a passerby that they
have been made to stand there for 10 minutes because they failed to meet their
monthly sales quotas. A forum post titled “The Misery of Being a Broadway Sales
Associate” goes viral. A spokesperson clarifies that the store manager was merely
“encouraging and guiding” his staff.
Mon 24
Train Surfer A Light Rail train is leaving Tuen
Mun Station when a young man jumps on and
clings to the back of the train. A Tuen Mun
District Councillor says this has happened
before, with daredevils climbing onto moving
trains for the thrill of it. He urges young
people to be safe.
Tue 25
Pro-dem Gangster Apple Daily boss and outspoken Occupy supporter Jimmy Lai
Chee-ying is accused of colluding with triad forces, as he was seen chatting with
alleged gang leader “Knife Scar Kong”
at the occupation in Admiralty. Lai tells
Apple Daily that the two had only met in
Admiralty and that he is open to talking
to anyone who supports the same cause.
Occupiers recognize “Knife Scar Kong” as
a hardcore Occupier, saying he was there
when rounds of tear gas were fired. An
artist has painted a portrait of Kong, which
has become a new attraction at Occupy.
Wed 26
Acid Criticism A 46-year-old man becomes so upset with the quality of food and service at a San
Po Kong branch of Café de Coral that he splashes acid around the premises, injuring eight people.
The man is a regular customer, but he had been protesting recently because “the food tastes
worse than shit.” The attack was the man’s revenge for suffering a stomach ache after his meal the
day before. Residents say the food has been consistent and the staff is friendly.
Thur 27
Fri 28
Doggone It An 18-year-old woman is
Defriended During a visit to the home of his
walking her 3-month-old French bulldog best friend of 10 years, a 22-year-old man
in Tuen Mun when three men snatch steals the spare key, and then makes five
the dog and escape in a private vehicle. separate trips to the house to steal from him.
The police suspect her ex-boyfriend, Each time he calls his friend and asks about
who gifted her the dog. CY Leung’s
his day to ascertain his whereabouts before
daughter Leung Chai-yan owns a French committing the crime. The friend’s father
bulldog named Speedy, and she says on finally realizes they are missing gold jewelry
Facebook, “I will skin these guys alive. worth $22,000. Some of it is discovered in
Do anything to my Speedy and oh myyyy the thief’s home: he owes more than $100,000
will u regret.”
in gambling debts.
Illustrations: Ryan Chan
Talking Points
We read the news, so you don’t have to.
Clockenflap Protests
Hong Kong indie band My Little Airport spoke out against CY Leung during music festival
Clockenflap. The band members modified the lyrics of their song “Please Don’t Sell Flags in
Sham Shui Po” to end with the repeated phrase “CY Leung, Fuck You!” The audience sang
along enthusiastically. Others showed support by opening yellow umbrellas during various
performances, including those of Taiwanese band Chthonic, Taiwanese singer-songwriter Deserts
Xuan and British rock band Travis, during the song “Why Does it Always Rain on Me”
Our take: Woo! Clockenprotest!
CityU Students Quit Student Association Race
Over Alleged Beijing Infiltration
A group of City University students running for the Student Union has quit the race after revealing
that they had been approached by pro-Beijing forces. Former candidate Timson Kwok claims
to have been approached by pro-Beijing group Y. Elites Association Limited, who requested that
he collaborate with them once he was elected to the Federation of Students. He claims
they hinted that there would be financial incentives for cooperating. Uncertain whether other
members of the proposed cabinet had accepted the deal, the whole team has withdrawn
from the race. Another candidate, Wong Wai-kin, says he has received menacing calls after
publicly supporting the Umbrella Movement. The Federation of Students consists of elected
members of each university’s student unions. The current cabinet, including protest leaders
Alex Chow and Lester Shum, will finish their term in March.
Our take: What is this Game of Thrones: Student Union edition
CY Leung urges people to shop in Mong Kok
While the police worked to clear the Mong Kok streets of the Occupy encampment last week,
CY Leung called upon Hongkongers to go shop and support businesses in the area.
It produced the opposite effect, with hundreds “following” CY’s pleas by organizing late-night
“shopping groups” in Mong Kok in an attempt to temporarily retake the streets. It has also
popularized the Cantonese phrase gau wu—which means “shopping” in a mainland accent,
as well as “speaking nonsense”—as a slang term for “occupying.” The phrase originated from
an earlier anti-Occupy protest, in which a mainlander told iCable News that she was in
Mong Kok to gau wu.
Our take: Cantonese puns—baffling to all!
Quote of the Week
“I realized that we have unknowingly been
living in Pyongyang instead.”
Actor and former police officer Wong Hei compares Hong Kong to the
North Korean capital in a Facebook status. He posted the update after
a former colleague joked that he would be allowed to attend a reunion
dinner at the Police Officers’ Club, as long as he was not sporting a yellow
umbrella. Wong has openly criticized the force over the alleged beating of
Ken Tsang by seven police officers. He has since deleted the post.
10 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMber 5, 2014

UPFront
HongKabulary
Street Talk
Mutually Assured Decoration
(muːtʃəliː æʃO:rd dɛkəreɪʃn), n.
Phenomenon by which Christmas shopping mall decorations
become increasingly insane year on year, as no single mall
is willing to back down and do a sensible display.
“I just came back from a mall in TST that has a centerpiece where a robot Santa
is interfering with a clockwork Rudolph. What is going ON”
“It’s a tragic case of Mutually Assured Decoration.”
Caption This
HONG KONG—A bailiff posts an injunction order in Mong Kok. (Felix Wong/SCMP)
➢
➢
➢
➢
➢
Cultivating Christmas spores for maximum infectious jollity.
Hanging combustible stockings precariously close to over-clocked
electric heater.
Five golden rings for five stashed-away mistresses.
Prophylactic tinsellectomy.
Googling “nog.”
Modern Day Martin Luther Paves Path Toward Freedom
Urban Bureaucrat Travels the World, Tagging Surfaces with Triplicate Paperwork
City’s Bailiffs ‘Simply Overwhelmed’ With All the Attention
Fast Facts
Ho Ho Ho
How are we preparing for the festive season
Weapon House is an online shop specializing in medieval
swords and armor. Owner Rei Tsang has been collecting
weapons for over 12 years. He tells Yannie Chan about his
collection and making leather armor for his cats.
HK Magazine: Why medieval weapons during house parties—my friends and I all
Rei Tsang: In most cartoons and movies, gear up and take loads of photos.
men have weapons that feel like
extensions of their personalities. I like HK: Which one is your favorite
the sense of justice the weapons carry: RT: A sword even taller than
they’re used to kill monsters and villains. a person—the Dragon Slayer
I have about 300 weapons, and I have Sword from the manga “Berserk.”
some custom-made equipment that only I loved it so much I decided to
exists in manga. My collection is all cold actually produce it. I drew the
weapons, meaning they do not involve design and had a factory make
explosives. These older weapons are like it. It’s smaller than it is in the
art. A machine can churn out hundreds of manga, but even so, I can’t
guns and rifles a day, but it takes months hold it properly. Creating
and years to create a sword.
something that only exists
in the fictional world into
HK: How do you feel about the
an actual weapon gives
violence inherent in all weapons me intense pleasure.
RT: Many do say that to me, and they think
of weapons as vicious objects. Firstly, I only HK: What’s the craziest thing
collect and sell unsharpened weapons. you’ve ever done
That basically makes them safer than fruit RT: Aside from opening Hong Kong’s first
knives. But more importantly, unlike modern weapon shop That would be making leather
weapons, archery and the art of wielding a armor for my cats, so they can be battle cats.
sword take years to perfect. That trains your I spent days making the armor, and they
mind as well.
hate it! You have no idea how many photo
attempts it took to get a nice shot. They were
HK: Is it legal to sell weapons
begging me to take the armor off.
RT: I was worried about this, and I consulted
my lawyer friends. It turns out that you can HK: How have these weapons
sell sharpened Japanese swords—weapons changed you
that can seriously injure someone—and RT: This might sound a bit dramatic, but it
it’s perfectly fine. But you can’t own or sell teaches me patience and determination.
weapons that are smaller in size and therefore Designing and making a weapon from scratch
easily hidden. Things like knuckle dusters, is a pain in the neck. It can get tedious, and it
butterfly knives and extendible batons are takes many attempts. My current project is to
prohibited, but many people still ask about create a true-to-size Dragon Slayer Sword:
them. I only stock unsharpened weapons and I’ve already bought several machines to make
if I come across a customer who seems off, the curvature.
I only sell him decorative weapons.
HK: Zombies take over Hong Kong.
HK: What do you do with all
What’s your game plan
your weapons
RT: Since all of my weapons are unsharpened
RT: Unfortunately, I do not know how to use and some are unrealistic, I’m not sure they
them. It would be cool to learn the different would help very much. But chainmail, an
sword styles and martial arts, but I’m more armor made of small metal rings linked
into looking into the history behind each together, protects the body very well. I’d
weapon. I used to publish a free magazine, immediately put that on and run away.
called “Weapon House: Weapon News,” about
the weapons’ designs and lesser-known facts. Check out Weapon House at www.facebook.
I sometimes take out my weapons and admire com/WeaponHouse.
them. My collection also comes in handy
12 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

UPFront
Politically Incorrect
with Chip Tsao
Hong Kong Dinner Table Talk
Condemning the American encirclement
of China has become a fashionable
topic among well-heeled Hong Kong
Chinese gathered at the dinner table.
This is perhaps due to an increasing
number of Hong Kong businessmen
and professionals traveling to the
mainland, where their Chinese hosts,
mostly Communist Party members, have
been hypnotizing them with the official
version of the general propaganda. If you
wish to take part in the process, this is
how to proceed:
Once the piglet is served with a
couple of flashing light bulbs as an
appetizer, it is most convenient to
slaughter Abe of Japan, America’s
staunchest Asian ally, as target No. 1.
Yes, the Diaoyu Islands belong to China,
and we all know there will be a war
soon and we’ll reclaim them. Taiwan’s
Ma Ying-jeou looks like a sissy but he’s
deceptive—the tender-talking, effete
president has been long been a running
dog of the White House.
When the steamed fish enters,
it’s time to take on Australia’s premier
Tony Abbott, who is forming an
encroachment-partnership with Obama
more solid than something you’d find on
“Brokeback Mountain.” Even Vietnam is
treacherously flirting with Washington for
more McDonald’s to open in Hanoi and
Ho Chi Minh City. The Indians always hate
us (as much as we hate them; hence,
the banquet does not include curry).
Needless to mention the grinning Ninoy
of the little Philippines, whose job seems
to be to annoy us all the time. Malaysia
cannot be trusted as it is Muslim—
Obama’s mother was a big fan of
Indonesia. So the US net has been spread
wide to encircle us, leaving us with half
a hole up in South Korea where we can
possibly try to befriend that woman,
another Park—the daughter of once the
most unwavering anti-communist leader
in Asia, Park Chung-hee.
It is easy to join the conversation
when you are half-full and bored with
the Yeung Chow Fried Rice. If you’re
looking to quickly make your patriotic
Hong Kong Chinese host happy—he is
the one who pays the bill, after all—
then add this red cherry to the cake:
now is the best time for us to resume
our alliance (yes, “our,” as Hong Kong is
no longer British but a part of China) with
the Russians. Putin will need to be as
reliable a friend to Xi Jinping as Roosevelt
was to Churchill, if we are going to bury
the US and win the next World War (here
you should go back to the right analogy
involving Britain, rather than mentioning
Hitler and Tojo).
When the fruit is served, it is a good
time to plug that last remaining hole
after you glance at your watch. Tell them
you firmly believe that the Umbrella
Revolution is funded by the US. This is
the last jigsaw piece needed to make it a
most pleasant evening.
The ambiance of an abalone
dinner party held by local businessmen
in Central or The Gallop at the Jockey
Club is so relaxing, you can just sit
back and mumble into the mainstream
without concern. Let your mouth get
busy and full while your brain unwinds
and switches off.
Chip Tsao is a best-selling author, columnist
and a former producer for the BBC. His columns
have also appeared in Apple Daily, Next
Magazine and CUP Magazine, among others.
14 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

UPFront
The Right to be Forgotten
By Zach Hines
We’ve written a lot about how 2014
has been a watershed year for Hong
Kong. Take your pick: It’s an awakening
of youth; the genesis of an activist
generation; the year the rule of law was
finally called into question; the first time
the countdown to 2047 really resonated.
All things considered, 2014 has been one
of the most ludicrous years on record:
rivalling 1841, when a British man in
pantaloons put a flag up somewhere
close to where Corner Kitchen Cafe is
now in Sheung Wan. But did you know
2014 was also a big year for Hong Kong
and the right to privacy
This year has been all about editing
our search histories. An HSBC banker
who was the victim of “extreme trolling”
successfully got his negative Google
results removed last week. Then there
was media mogul Albert Yeung’s libel
lawsuit against Google, for autocomplete
results that suggested “triad” after you
typed in his name. At the same time, our
privacy commissioner, after a sustained
yet failed campaign to prove that public ID
card numbers were private data and thus
databases could be bullied into removing
the ID numbers of tycoons, has been
pressing Google to apply the “right to be
forgotten” rule here in Hong Kong.
The “right to be forgotten” is a legal
concept from Europe (where else) that
empowers a person to apply to have
old, unflattering data about themselves
deleted from the internet. The sci-fi
dystopia angle here is obvious, with the
landed and lawyered eagerly exercising
this right to obliterate publically available
information about themselves. But let’s
also think about the fuddy-duddy aspect
of this concept.
Younger people can envisage and
even, I posit, feel comfortable with a world
where sometimes ridiculous things are
posted online. A future in which youthful
discretions and follies remain visible on
the permanent record is one we need to
accept. You’d better believe that the CE of
2047 is going to have some silly Instagram
posts he’d rather have forgotten (and
perhaps an Occupy support message
or two). But by and large, that will be OK
with the public, who will have grown up
with this kind of thing. Unless, of course,
you were an actual triad member.
In the wrong hands, this “right to
be forgotten” can get ugly faster than
a book on fire can hit 451°F. But let’s
consider the HK government’s case for it.
I can see why they would choose this right
of all rights to stand up for, considering
that the government has crept silently
into the shadows as soon as the going
got tough. If the government was behind
some of the extreme trolling in Mong Kok,
with actual hired human trolls roughing up
the scene, perhaps they could sue Google
to clean up some of the autocompletes
that suggest “Hong Kong government…
hired triads.”
We also need to consider the
possibility that the government is
practicing a sustained, extreme trolling
of our once-beloved Hong Kong police,
who have been left to pick up the
pieces of a political disaster while the
government exercises its right to be
forgotten. In a few years’ time, the police
will doubtless desperately like to delete
the second half of 2014 from their search
history and restore some of their lost
honor. Indeed, the right to edit your
search results will find many supporters
in Hong Kong. Perhaps our privacy
commissioner only has our long-term
interests at heart. That may be so—but
for the younger generation, 2014 is a year
not soon to be forgotten, no matter how
much you sanitize the search results.
Zach Hines is the Editor-in-Chief of HK Magazine.
16 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

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Hong Kong
The
Christmas
Carol Book
In the best of traditions, these Christmas carols don’t just
entertain—they also educate. Transcribed from traditional
folk performances by Adam White
The 12 Days of Last-
Minute Christmas Gifts
On the first day before Christmas
my true love ran out and got for me…
A gift voucher from G.O.D!
On the second day before Christmas
my true love ran out and got for me…
Two terrapins…
And a gift voucher from G.O.D!
On the third day before Christmas
my true love ran out and got for me…
Three French wines…
Two terrapins…
And a gift voucher from G.O.D!
& so on, as follows:
Four screen-print shirts…
FIIIVE GOLLDD PIGGSS!
Six tix to Lang Lang…
Seven 7-Eleven beers…
Eight soaps from Home Works…
Nine Jenny’s cookies…
Ten speakers speaking…
Eleven hampers bulging…
Twelve craft beers-a-hopping…
1. G.O.D, G/F, Block A, PMQ, 35 Aberdeen St.,
Central, 2915-2822.
2. SPCA, 2802-0501, www.spca.org.hk.
3. Winebeast, 49 Johnston Rd., Wan Chai,
2804-1318.
4. Print House, 125 Stanley Main St.,
Stanley, 2813-9576.
5. Chow Sang Sang, everywhere.
6. Lang Lang, Dec 18-19, 8pm. Concert Hall,
Cultural Centre, 10 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha
Tsui. $480-1,980 from www.urbtix.hk.
7. 7-Eleven, everywhere.
8. Home Works, S506, Block A,PMQ,
35 Aberdeen St., Central, www.home-works.org.
9. Jenny Bakery, 15 Wing Wo St.,
Sheung Wan, 2524-1988. Cookies from $70.
10. Native Union, www.nativeunion.com.
Portable Switch speaker from $1,100.
11. Gift Hampers HK, gifthampers.com.hk.
12. Hop Leaf, hopleaf.hk. From $1,125 for
12 beers a month (three-month period).
18 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

We Three Kings
We three kings from Orient hail!
Bearing gifts we travel o’er vales:
Field and fountain, moor and mountain,
Following the Wilson Trail.
Good King Li Ka-Shing: A Takeaway Turkey Parable
Good King Li Ka-shing looked out
On the feast of Christmas
Boozy expats lay about
Drunk and nude and listless
Brightly shone the moon that night
Through the harbor murky
When a poor man came in sight
Looking for a turkey...
“Secretary, stand by me
If thou know’st it, telling
Yonder expat, who is he
What can he be selling”
“Sir, he teaches at a school
Down by Sha Tin way
He just wants a bite or two
To eat on Christmas day.”
“Let us get him turkey fine
Gifting him the stuffing
Thou and I will see him dine:
It’ll cost him nothing.”
Page and tycoon made their way
Climbed into their Alphard
To restaurants with takeaway
They put it on the black card…
Main Street Deli first of all
Its menu filled to bursting
CitySuper’s birds, though small,
Have foie and chestnut stuffing
Great Food Hall has turkeys fine
and Max Concepts—and that
Invisible Kitchen hides
’Taters cooked in duck fat...
So Li Ka-shing and PA both
Chauffeured the meals to Sha Tin
Where the poor man sat with broth
Bubbling in a cauldron
“We’ve brought you Christmas meals
for free!
This proves I have a soft spot!”
“I wish you hadn’t, Mr. Li—
I’m sitting down for hot pot...”
Invisible Kitchen’s visible turkey
Great’s festive spread
Main Street Deli, 8 Peking Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui,
2375-1133, hongkong.langhamhotels.com.
$1,838 for combo set. Serves 6-10.
CitySuper, all over. $3,988 for Christmas party
set, including 3kg turkey with foie gras and
chestnut stuffing. Serves 8.
Great Food Hall, Pacific Place, 88 Queensway,
Admiralty. $1,500 for turkey set meal including
7kg turkey. Serves 10-12.
Max Concepts, www.maxconcepts.
com.hk. Turkey $568 before Dec 18,
$628 thereafter; pick up from select locations.
Invisible Kitchen, invisiblekitchen.com. $2,000
for set menu hamper with turkey, duck fatroasted
potatoes and sides (delivery included).
Serves 6-8.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014 19

O Tannenbaum (O Christmas Tree)
This is an ancient German carol. We are pleased to present you with
the original German, and a translation of our own devising.
Hing Fat Flora, www.hingfatflora.com. 30cm trees, $200.
Ikea, www.ikea.com/hk. 1.5m trees, $599; 2m trees, $699.
Order before Dec 14.
German:
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie treu sind deine Blätter!
Du grünst nicht nur zur Sommerzeit,
Nein, auch im Winter, wenn es schneit.
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Wie treu sind deine Blätter!
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Du kannst mir sehr gefallen!
Wie oft hat nicht zur Weihnachtszeit
Ein Baum von dir mich hoch erfreut!
O Tannenbaum, o Tannenbaum,
Du kannst mir sehr gefallen!
Translation:
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How lovely are thy branches!
They are green when the CCP is red
They are green when yellow brollies spread!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
How lovely are thy branches!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
You just don’t fit inside here!
The 6-foot trees bang on the door—a
small one, then, from Hing Fat Flora!
O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree,
Guess there’s always Ikea…
Countdown_Party2015_HK_Magazine_w254xh170_20141128_01_output.pdf 1 28/11/2014 1:08 PM
20 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

God Rest Ye Merry, Bachelor
God rest ye merry, bachelor
Let nothing you dismay
For you’ve got a Christmas bash:
It’s really soon, you say
WineShopAsia’s booze will be
Delivered in a day
O tidings of comfort and joy,
Comfort and joy
O tidings of comfort and joy!
O crap you have no furnishings!
You live life like a slob.
But 20 guys with wives are here
All with better jobs.
How do you make your place look nice
When time ain’t on your side
O Franc Franc, Mirth and Zara Home
And Zara Home!
O Franc Franc, Mirth and Zara Home!
WineShopAsia, www.wineshopasia.com.
Next-day delivery if you order by 5pm.
Franc Franc, Shop P306-308, Podium 3, World Trade Centre,
280 Gloucester Rd., Causeway Bay, 2504-2226.
Mirth, M/F, Yip Kan St., Wong Chuk Hang, 2553-9811.
Zara Home, Shop 3205, 3/F, Harbour City, 3-27 Canton Rd.,
Tsim Sha Tsui, 2880-5068.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECeMBER 5, 2014 21

While CY Surfed the Web All Night
While CY surfed the web all night
A-Googling his name
A Liaison Officer came down
And placed on him the blame.
“You fool,” said he, “It’s almost time
To gather round that tree.
But you have done no shopping yet
Your wife will murder ye.”
“Oh crap, I’m screwed,” CY replied,
“Caught in the X-mas rush.
I’ve wasted all my time online
With games of Candy Crush.”
“Well, this is a pretty pass,
But don’t give up,” said he.
“The internet will save your ass
With free delivery.
“Zalora ships with speed and skill
Fashion of every kind
ShopinHK has rooms all filled
With books to grow the mind.
“Shop des Créateurs’ stylish threads
Go globally for free.
“The9thMuse is stocked high” he said,
“With gorgeous jewelry.”
“Liaison Man, you’ve saved my life!”
Said CY gratefully.
“What can I do to pay you back”
“BURN HONG KONG!” said he.
The9thMuse (offline)
Zalora, www.zalora.com.hk.
ShopinHK, www.shopinhk.com.
Shop des Créateurs, www.shopdescreateurs.com.
The9thMuse, www.the9thmuse.com.
HK Magazine Adv 300dpi - Dec 2014.pdf 1 11/27/14 2:44 PM
22 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

Go CarolLing
Holiday music for all types—from movie mavens to
festive philanthropists. By Melissa Frankenberry
Film Buffs
To celebrate Christmas 2014, The Kassia Women’s
Choir will be performing songs from movies such as
“The Muppets,” “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” “The Polar
Express” and “Gremlins.” If you like good music and classic
holiday movies, then you'll love this show.
Dec 17 & 18, 8pm. Sheung Wan Civic Centre,
345 Queen's Rd. Central, Sheung Wan, 2575-3931,
www.katterwall.com.
Flag-Flying Brits
On December 18, the choir of Cambridge University’s
Gonville & Caius College will be preforming a wide range
of holiday tunes in “A Cambridge Christmas” at the Hong
Kong Arts Centre. The group is one of the UK’s leading
collegiate choirs with a stellar reputation thanks to extensive
touring, CDs, and all-around impressive pipes.
Dec 18, 8pm. Hong Kong Arts Centre, 2 Harbour Rd.,
Wan Chai, 9464-1941. $230-460 from www.hkac.org.hk.
Karma Collectors
The Hong Kong Women’s Choir is putting on “Joy! A
Christmas Gala Extravaganza” this season, featuring
upbeat Christmas songs with harmonious arrangements
from a cappella arm The Grace Notes. It’s a great way to
get in the holiday spirit, as proceeds support two charities:
Home of Loving Faithfulness, and Arts and Enterprise for
Women.
Dec 10, 7pm. Ballroom, Conrad Hotel,
Pacific Place, 88 Queensway, Admiralty, 2844-8900.
Tickets $888-1,888 from thkwc.org.
Shopaholics
Check out the first-ever Sai Kung Christmas Carnival,
where there will be Christmas caroling aplenty and
an obligatory appearance from Santa, as well as stalls
from over 30 local businesses stocked with goodies like
organic wine, handmade Christmas decorations, crafty
jewelry and games. It’s the perfect place to browse for
stocking stuffers!
Dec 13-14, 11am. Sai Kung District Community
Centre at Mei Yuen Street in Sai Kung,
www.saikungchristmascarnival.org.
Traditionalists
The Cecilian Singers choir is presenting an “O Holy Night”
Christmas concert in the super-atmospheric St. John’s
Cathedral. Founded in 1962, the choir is one of Hong Kong’s
oldest, so you can expect big things. Proceeds from the
event benefit Médecins Sans Frontières’ international Ebola
projects, so you can enjoy a lovely evening of music, mulled
wine and mince pies all in support of a great cause.
Dec 9, 7:30pm. St. John's Cathedral, 4-8 Garden Rd.,
Central, 2570-3783, $200-300 from ceciliansingers.com.
Cecilian Singers get their carol on
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECeMBER 5, 2014 23

TRADITIONAL ITALIAN FESTIVE MENU
Buone Feste
A December
to Remember
Just ‘cause the weather’s cooling down doesn’t mean your
social life can’t heat up. Tristan Ruzic picks the top 10 things
to do this December.
Wed, Dec 24 th & Wed, Dec 31 st
~ 4 course menu ~
$368 per person
+ 10% s.c.
6pm onwards
Just Dance
Celebrate this season with The Hong Kong Ballet’s rendition of
Christmas classic The Nutcracker. The show will see ballerinas
from over 40 countries and regions twirling together with local
children. What’s more, the Hong Kong Sinfonietta is providing
the musical accompaniment, so it’s gonna be a doozy.
Dec 19-21, 24-28. Grand Theatre, Hong Kong Cultural Centre,
10 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 2105-9724.
$140-1,000 from www.urbtix.hk.
SHOP G09, ONE ISLAND SOUTH, 2 HEUNG YIP ROAD, WONG CHUK HANG, ABERDEEN | TEL: +852 2528 0772
http://elgrande.com.hk/restaurant/gcx
/gcx
BUONE FESTE
Wednesday, December 24 th
5-course Christmas menu
with a glass of wine
6-course Tasting Menu
Glass of bubbly and wines included
$398 $498
+10% sc per person
Wednesday, December 31 st
+10% sc per person
Foodie Fest
Grab your loosest pair of pants, because
it’s time for Hong Kong’s 12th annual Food
Festival. With five full days of promotions
and discounts on grub from all over the
world, foodies will be spoilt for choice
at this massive indoor food fest. Look
for Hong Kong delicacies, wine, coffee,
desserts, dried seafood, a “Taste of Korea”
and much more.
Dec 25-29, 10am. Hall 3, HKCEC,
1 Expo Drive, Wan Chai. $20 at door.
Sake Bombs
It doesn’t get much better than sushi,
sake, and 300-pound Japanese sumo
wrestlers in action—and this year’s Sumo
Sushi Sake has stepped up its game with
professional wrestling matches. If you’re
keen to compete yourself, check out sushiand
hot dog-eating contests. Still hungry
Get your fill at the many Japanese food
stalls lining the harborfront.
Dec 13, noon. West Kowloon
Waterfront Promenade, West
Kowloon. www.SumoSushiSakeHK.
com. $270-570 at the door.
B/F & G/F, 16 Elgin Street, Central | Tel: +852 2525 5770
vwww.elgrande.com.hk/restaurant/mostaccioli-brothers
24 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014

Cocoa Chanel
The fancy-pants sixth annual Chocolate
Party at the W Hotel is stuffed with cocoacovered
treats. From caramels to coffee
liquors, the chocolates will be as sophisticated
as the company. Chocolates not a sweet
enough deal Tack on some awesome extra
entertainment—think lights, lasers, DJs,
and quality music—and you have one cool
confection party.
Dec 20, 10pm. 7/F, W Hotel, Grand
Ballroom, 1 Austin Rd. West, West
Kowloon. $420 from www.
ChocolateParty.com/tickets or at
the door.
Raise the Roof
Who doesn’t love rooftops, music and
December’s glorious weather For a dose
of all of the above, head to Hong Kong’s
first-ever Roofest. This new cultural festival
is all about “overground art,” which promises
live performances from eight DJs, as well as
exhibitions from street artists like Mark Goss,
Peter Yuill and Parent’s Parent. In the way
of goodies, there’ll be Nice Pops popsicles
on board as well as a vinyl records
shop, shirts from Print House and a
handmade jewelry booth.
Dec 6, noon-midnight. 5/F, Easy-
Pack Industrial Building, 140
Wai Yip St., Kwun Tong.$120
from www.eventbrite.hk
or at the door.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, december 5, 2014 25

Night at the Races
Whether you are a racing enthusiast or a
budding bidder, no matter: the Longines
Hong Kong International Horse Races
is sure to be a good time. While the horses
race in 1,200 to 2,400-meter legs, you can
show off your own skills by juggling beers
and betting slips.
Dec 14, noon. Sha Tin Race Course,
racing.hkjc.com. $10 at the door.
Shop ‘Til You Drop
Attention shopaholics: the Brands and
Products Expo is back for its 49th year.
There will be 880 booths set up featuring
quality products, plus homegrown and
international brands. It’s a dangerous
environment for those who love food,
beverages, fashion, household, and beauty
products (but who likes any of that). With
Christmas approaching, the Expo is also a
great opportunity to start checking off that
shopping list.
Dec 13-Jan 5, 11am. Victoria Park,
Causeway Bay, www.hkbpe.com.hk.
$10 at the door.
Street Spirits
Everyone knows the holidays are the one
acceptable time to hang out in Lan Kwai
Fong: check out the Christmas Street
Party, where sparkling decorations, great
bar deals, special food menus, and crowds
of merrymakers balance out the usual
suspects. If you plan on feasting, be sure
to book a table.
Dec 24 & 31. www.lankwaifong.com.
Great Expectations
It’s back! Get ready for the AIA Great
European Carnival. It’s been eight years
since the city last saw this show, but get
this: it’s not just returning as a one-off.
Nope! It’s here for three consecutive years,
so make it a tradition. In addition to more
than 70 rides, there will also be games and
food, food, food.
Dec-Feb. The Terrace, New
Central Harbourfront, tgec.asia.
Weekdays: $90; weekends: $125.
The Final Countdown
The countdown to New Year’s is closer
than you think, and you don’t want to miss
out on the New Year’s Fireworks. Claim
your viewing spot early, whether you’re
planning to watch from a night cruise on
the Bauhinia ($520, www.cruise.com.
hk), a rooftop bar such as Sevva (25/F,
Prince’s Building, 10 Chater Rd., Central,
2537-1388), or a restaurant overlooking the
harbor like The Peninsula’s Felix (Salisbury
Road, Tsim Sha Tsui, 2696-6778). Quick,
snag your seats!
Dec 31, midnight.
26 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014

Melbourne Munchies
From coffee to cake to craft beer, Kate Springer takes a bite out of this famously foodie city.
Here’s a wining and dining shortlist for your next trip down under.
It’s a food-for-all at
Hellenic Republic
Dip into Movida’s tapas
Melbourne: a gourmand and graffiti artist’s playground
This is what a Kugelhupf looks like
Get your coffee fix
at Seven Seeds
Grab your Myki travel card and hop on the
Melbourne tram, because you have some
work to do. The foodie scene in the capital of
Victoria, on the southeastern side of Australia,
is a gourmand’s playground.
Polish Cakes
A testament to Melbourne’s international
culinary chops, Cake Street in St. Kilda is
famous for its string of Polish and Eastern
European bakeries. The veritable Monarch
Cakes (103 Acland St., (+61) 3-9534-2972,
www.monarchcakes.com.au) has been
pumping out its famous silky chocolate
Kugelhupf cake from this quaint storefront
since 1934. Many of the recipes were inherited
from the family’s original shop in Poland—and
everything you see is made from scratch.
Order: You have to get the Kugelhupf—don’t
try to pronounce, just point! While you’re there,
dig into a Polish cheesecake too, which is made
with a 100-year-old recipe.
Spanish Tapas
Find your way through the graffitied laneways
for Spanish tapas at Movida (1 Hosier Lane,
(+61) 3-9663-3038, movida.com.au). This long-
Gourmet Donuts
Melbourne has long been a champion of coffee,
but now the city’s picking up some donut chops
too. Artisanal bakers are popping up in the
laneways to serve these meticulously crafted
sweets. Try Short Stop (12 Sutherland St.,
www.short-stop.com.au), where donuts are
made fresh all day behind the counter and you
can count on a good long black to match.
Order: We have nothing but praise for the
Earl Grey and Rose ($30) and the Bourbon
Crème Brulée ($33) donuts. Except that they
didn’t last long enough.
Coffee!
One of Melbourne’s greatest assets is
genuinely awesome coffee. Even if you don’t
know your Aeropress from your elbow, the
baristas at Seven Seeds (106-114 Berkeley St.,
(+61) 3-9347-8664, sevenseeds.com.au) will get
you sorted with beans from Latin America and
Africa. The place balances out its hipster farmgrunge-chic
surrounds with earnestly helpful
staff and great food, too.
Order: Ask one of the servers to walk
you through the day’s beans, as they shift
seasonally. Try a short black roast for maximum
signatures, including the rightly well known
Little Creatures Pale Ale.
Order: Try the citrusy IPA, and the Rogers’ beer,
which balances caramel and hops.
Greek Food
Thanks to several waves of Greek emigration
to Australia, there’s plenty of great Greek food
around town. But the restaurant of the hour
has to be Hellenic Republic (434 Lygon St.,
(+61) 3-9381-1222, www.hellenicrepublic.com.
au), which feels like a family-style tavern.
Head here for big hearty portions, a boundless
wine list of Hellenic varieties, and 16 types of
ouzo. Just be sure to book ahead as this place
fills up nightly.
Order: Start with
the taramasalata
white cod roe
dip, freshly
baked pitas,
and the
Cypriot grain
salad; finish with
the lamb shoulder,
slow-roasted on the bone
and served with a huge melty head of garlic.
Where to Stay
Cool Kids: Hole up at The Prince hotel in St.
Kilda, one of Melbourne’s artsier neighborhoods.
The boutique design hotel sports stylish
rooms, spa-like bathrooms and several notable
restaurants. Though it’s not in the center of
town, The Prince is in a great neighborhood
for live music, harbor sunsets and beach
bumming—there’s a stretch of sand just across
the street.
From $1,200, including an awesome
breakfast. 2 Acland St., St. Kilda, (+61)
3-9536-1111, www.theprince.com.au.
Classy Cats: The sophisticated Lyall Hotel
& Spa is located on a quiet, leafy street in
South Yarra. The neighborhood is a go-to for
great brunch—don’t miss Two Birds One Stone
(twobirdsonestonecafe.com.au)—and upscale
shopping, along Toorak Road and Chapel Street.
The hotel itself is an all-suite deal, though the
rooms are a little drab. Excellent service and a
super luxurious spa make up for it.
From $1,583. 16 Murphy St., South Yarra,
(+61) 3-9868-8222, thelyall.com.
Getting There: Qantas flies direct daily (from
$6,000-12,000, depending on time of year).
standing favorite is a Melbourne institution,
flavor; or a short white for smoother sips.
with four iterations and counting in the city.
Each branch is a little different, but we’d
recommend the original spot off Flinders Street.
Expect a mix of creative bite-sized tapas and
bigger ración to share.
Order: We loved the house cold-smoked
Spanish mackerel, spiced chicken salad, and
duck liver pâté and foam on brioche.
Or just get one of everything!
Craft Beer
For a sure-fire beer experience, pull up a stool
at Little Creatures (222 Brunswick St., (+61)
3-9417-5500, www.littlecreatures.com.au).
The tap house is huge and happening, with
open-air seating and a “sampler” board ($86)
that features a smattering of seasonals and
Little Creatures:
a little of everything
The Prince’s minimalist-chic digs
28 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECember 5, 2014

Peninsula Pours
No trip to Melbourne is complete without one thing: wine.
Famous for excellent pinot noir and chardonnay
producers, the Mornington Peninsula, south of
the city, is a great way to explore the region’s
wine circuit. Here are a few of our favorites.
• Start at the rustic, open-air Montalto
Vineyard & Olive Grove (33 Shoreham Rd.,
www.montalto.com.au), where you can sit
outside and contemplate your wine in peace.
• Then head to Port Phillip Estate (263 Red
Hill Rd., www.portphillipestate.com.au), an
architectural marvel with sexy, sleek interiors
and floor-to-ceiling views of the vineyards.
• Don’t miss Ten Minutes by Tractor (1333
Mornington Flinders Rd., tenminutesbytractor.
com.au): expect deep red interiors and
deeper red wines. If you want to splash out
on a dinner, this is the place.
Just for fun: Round off a romantic day with
a dip in the Peninsula Hot Springs (from
$232 per person, www.peninsulahotsprings.
com), where you can join the crowds or opt for
an intimate private grotto.
Where to Stay
Big Blue Backyard is one of the coolest
places I have ever stayed. A warm couple,
Paul and Lisa Dempsey, runs this unique
property, with three “hideaway” cottages
scattered among a huge plot of forested land.
A maze of arched trees and blooming bushes
lead to dramatic cliffs overlooking St. Andrews
Beach. Paul is a trained chef who cooks up a
storm: the rate includes a bountiful in-room
breakfast spread, and you can also arrange
private dinners. I’m still daydreaming about
Paul’s peppercorn steak with its jus.
It’s a must if you’re in Mornington.
From $3,942 per night. 56 Paradise Drive,
St. Andrews Beach, (+61) 3-5988-6011,
www.bigbluebackyard.com.au.
Getting Around: You’ll need to hire a car
to get around. Try Hertz (from $400 per day,
www.hertz.com.au). Alternatively,
check out Top Drops private wine tours
(from $330 per person for full-day tour,
www.luxurywinetoursvictoria.com.au).
Get steamy in the
Peninsula Hot Springs
A Big Blue breakfast
Slurp’s up at Montalto Vineyard
A Big Blue Backyard
worth exploring
Hideaway all day
at Big Blue Backyard
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECember 5, 2014 29

PERKS
Sponsored Feature
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ornaments suspended in air, light, and
space; he brought to life a collection of
marvellous stylistic Christmas trees, an
architectural feast.
Mezzo Offers American
Italian Festive Cuisine
Mezzo at Regal Kowloon Hotel offers
American Italian Semi-buffet Dinner in
this festive season, with unlimited serving
of lobsters, snow crab legs, Parma ham
and etc., followed by sumptuous main
courses at your choice such as goose
liver pizza, grilled Boston lobster risotto,
Christmas turkey “sous vide”, oven roasted
U.S. black angus eye steak as well as
festive dessert sampler.
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lamaisonduchocolat.com
Christmas Carnival at
The Charterhouse
Causeway Bay
Christmas is around the corner! It is time
to share this wonderful yet warm season with
your beloved, family and friends. To start this
joyful Christmas carnival at The Charterhouse
Causeway Bay, an array of enticing and
scrumptious delicacies and buffet (starts
from HK$208 up) will be served in different
restaurants throughout December to bring
you a memorable day.
1/F, Regal Kowloon Hotel, 71 Mody Road,
Tsimshatsui, Hong Kong, 2313 8778
HomeSquare presents
Chairs and Sofas Exhibition
From November 22, 2014 to January 4, 2015,
HomeSquare, “ the Hong Kong’s biggest
one-stop home shopping mall” presents “Mr.
Chair-Man – A Christmas Showcase of Men’s
Favourite Chairs and Sofas”, an exhibition of
more than 33 internationally renowned celebrity
talent designer chairs and sofas, showcased in
nine cities with exclusive disclosure to analyze
their own ideal personality throne.
209 – 219 Wanchai Road, Hong Kong, 2892 3388
art space Artouch HK
Artouch HK is a multi functional venue for
artists to present their artwork and music etc.
Regular events are held to promote
the performing arts. www.artouch.hk
Date: 22 Nov 2014 – 4 Jan 2015
Venue: HomeSquare L1 Atrium, 138,
Sha Tin Rural Committee Road, Sha Tin
Enquiry: 2634 0666
Regal Oriental Hotel
Christmas Fiesta 2014
Celebrate this Christmas in style! Regal
Oriental Hotel has prepared a wide array of
Christmas festive dining ideas for you to share
with your family and friends. Café Neo brings
you scrumptious lunch buffet from HK$268
and dinner buffet from HK$438, live band with
Christmas set lunch and dinner are ready to
serve in The China Coast Pub + Restaurant.
LG Shop C2, No.89-95 Hollywood Road Sheung Wan.
(entrance on Shin Hing St)
T.9780-1853
Regal Riverside Hotel
Sizzling Christmas
Celebrations
With festive decorations, children’s carol
and ballet performances, our 6 restaurants
and bars are the perfect choice to spend
a truly sizzling Christmas celebration with
your loved ones. Choices include poolside
barbecue dinner buffets from HK$498, Italian
cheese fondue dinner from HK$408, Carving
semi-buffet dinner from HK$398, Japanese
shabu-shabu dinner from HK$488 and Thai-
Vietnamese hot pot dinner from HK$328.
30-38 Sa Po Road, Kowloon City, Hong Kong,
2718 0333, www.regalhotel.com
MCM x Strumbel Limited
Edition Collection
The luxury brand MCM is pleased to
announce the exceptional collaboration
with the internationally renowned German
contemporary artist Stefan Strumbel,
introducing the “MCM x Strumbel” Limited
Edition Collection. This unique collection
plays with the iconic Visetos pattern and
the recognizable artwork prints of Stefan
Strumbel, showing strong contrast in a very
expressive yet sophisticated way.
34-36, Tai Chung Kiu Road,
Shatin, 2132-1234
G/F Entrance & Whole of Basement, Entertainment Building,
No.30 Queen’s Road Central, Central, Hong Kong
Tel: 2117 3955

Get more out of HK | SHOPPING + TRAVEL + DINING
Bullet Proof
It’s time to start cooking up some great
gift ideas: whether you’re trying to
support local brands or find a good cause,
Emi & Eve’s socially conscious designs
are a great place to start. Lamma-ite and
founder Cassandra Postema employs a
team of disabled workers and earthquake
refugees in China to create her bags and
jewelry, which are made from recycled
bomb casings and bullet shells left over
from Cambodia’s Khmer Rouge period.
emiandeve.com
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014 31

LOOKbook
with Katie Kenny
Shopping
Between office Secret Santa Parties, holiday dinners and splurges on your SO,
the holidays can get expensive. Whatever the reason, sometimes you need to find
great presents that won’t deplete your savings. Here are a few under $500 ideas
that should help stretch your wallet till 2015.
Faces
Shop 202, Harbour City, Ocean Terminal,
2-27 Canton Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui,
2118-5622.
Lab Concept
93 Queensway, Admiralty, 2118-3599.
PhatRice
phatrice.com
The Refinery
S410, 4/F, PMQ, 35 Aberdeen St.,
Central, 9545-9393.
Tommy Hilfiger
Shop 20, 5/F, Sogo, 555 Hennessy Rd.,
Causeway Bay, 2831-3950.
Urban Clichés
www.urbancliches.com.
Zalora
www.zalora.com.hk.
Lookbook
Loves
Beanie, $490,
Tommy Hilfiger
Postcard box set $350; $15 each,
Urban Clichés
iPhone 5 case, $280,
Candies @ The Refinery
Cosmetics bag, $151,
Bez & Oho @ PhatRice
Necklace, $400,
Cheap Monday @ Lab Concept
Lip set, $480,
Fresh @ Faces
Boucle jacket, $499,
Miss Selfridge @ Zalora
Scarf, $350,
Armor Lux @ The Refinery
32 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

deck the halls with
TREEts and holly!
make your holiday season bright with beautiful eco
hanging ornaments, warm scented candles, and
festive table decor!
And with the gift of a flower subscription, give that
merry feeling all year 'round with fresh arrangements
delivered right to the door. how festive!
order now : www.tree.com.hk/flowers-from-the-heart/
SEASONAL
SALE NOW ON!
eco-wood tables, chairs and shelves, plus comfy couches,
stylish sofa beds, and so much more.
up to 50% off TREE favourites
TREEt yourself before they’re gone!
28/f horizon plaza | ap lei chau | t. 2870.1582
other stores : sai kung | soho
www.tree.com.hk

DINING
Feast Navidad
Whether you’ve been naughty or nice, you still deserve a Christmastastic meal
this December. Check out Melissa Frankenberry’s round-up of jolly holiday feasts.
Chrimbo at Kinsale
Creature comforts at Comfort
Festive sweets at Staunton’s
Wooloomooloo gets delicious
Zuma to dinner
Christmas Comforts
Michelin-starred chef Harlan Goldstein is adding some
festive flair to Comfort: find his own Christmas favorites on the
menu December 24 and 25. You can enjoy Harlan’s slow-cooked
Christmas turkey seasoned with Italian ingredients and savory
homemade gravy, as well as a slew of sides. All Christmas’d out
Not to worry, the usual à-la-carte menu will also be available.
5/F, Grand Progress Building, 15-16 Lan Kwai Fong, Central,
2521-8638.
Wine ’n’ Dine
No traditional Christmas meal is complete without some
steaming mulled wine or a Christmas pudding, just like they make
them at Staunton’s Wine Bar and Café. Throughout the month
of December, this popular SoHo wine bar will be offering a special
Christmas set lunch menu from $68-198. The menu is brimming
with classic holiday treats that’ll have you glowing with Christmas
cheer in no time. Oh wait, that’s probably the mulled wine.
G/F, 10-12 Staunton St., Central, 2973-6611.
Early Bird Special
At Sevva, festivities begin early with the Christmas set
lunch ($520) served from now till December 25. The threecourse
meal covers all the classics—think roasted turkey,
crispy potatoes, and a fig Christmas pudding. But lunch is just
the opening act: the main event is a five-course Christmas Eve
set dinner ($2,380 per person), which includes traditional eats
and music on Sevva’s sprawling terrace.
25/F, Prince’s Building, 10 Chater Rd., Central, 2537-1388.
Here Comes Santa-gria
Celebrate Christmas with a splash of Spanish flair at tapas
resto Boqueria. If you are an indecisive orderer, this is the place
for you. There are so many small plates that you can have a bite
of everything—and you won’t want to miss the lobster paella,
fire-roasted ribeye or the padron peppers. Wash it all down with a
glass or two of “Santa-gria” ($88 per glass), a festive twist on the
restaurant’s popular red sangria.
7/F, LKF Tower, 33 Wyndham St., Central, 2321-8681.
Santa’s Sushi
To celebrate the holidays this year, Zuma presents an 11-course
seasonal tasting menu that’s available throughout December.
At $1,140 per person, diners can feast on fresh Shigoku oysters
with shiso salsa, crisp pan-fried foie gras, an angus ribeye with
wafu sauce and, of course, Zuma’s famous selection of sushi
and sashimi. Merry Christmas to you!
5-6/F, The Landmark, 15 Queen’s Rd. Central, 3657-6388.
Winter Woonderland
Wooloomooloo serves up sizzling premium steaks and
classic grilled favorites at a variety of locations—some of which
boast picturesque views of Victoria Harbor. The experienced chefs
have created tailor-made Christmas menus that are stacked with
holiday favorites. For example, the Wooloomooloo Steakhouse in
Wan Chai will be offering a four-course meal ($898 per person)
complete with surf ‘n’ turf options such as Chesapeake-style
crab balls, lasagna al forno, and grilled Australian tenderloin.
Several locations, including Wooloomooloo Steakhouse,
256 Hennessy Rd., Wan Chai, 2893-6960.
Festive Frites
Belgian beer hall Frites is serving up a variety of
Christmas dishes this month that reflect the restaurant’s
European vibes. Look for the Christmas “express” a la carte
lunch and dinner menus, which offer a slew of traditional tastes
and Belgian twists. The Turkey Ballotine and a “Bûche de Noël”
(a Belgian chocolate sponge dessert rolled in chocolate
shavings) are staples throughout the month, but the rest of the
festive treats will update weekly. Have a lot of friends to feed
Frites is also offering three different Christmas dining packages
for larger parties.
Two locations, including Oxford House, Taikoo Place,
979 King’s Rd., Quarry Bay, 2250-5188.
A Kinsale Christmas
Until December 31, Kinsale will be serving a month-long
Festive Menu featuring some tasty-sounding specials ($298
for two courses; $349 for three): try the delicate pumpkin-androasted-apple
soup, followed by a hearty plate of roasted turkey,
honey-glazed ham, pork and chestnut stuffing, and caramelized
parsnips. Finish off with a tasty Christmas pudding made with
brandy custard. Heading back for more Kinsale is also putting on
Christmas Eve and Christmas Day menus ($508 for two courses;
$588 for three) that include five appetizers, five main courses and
five desserts to choose from—a Christmas miracle indeed.
Shop 2, New Fortune House, 2-5 New Praya, Kennedy Town,
2796-6004.
34 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

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DINING
NEW AND NOTED
with Adele Wong
Guiltless cake at The Awakening
Not Epure Coincidence
If you’re looking for cross-harbor gems,
the Dalloyau group has added fine-dine
Epure (Shop 403, Ocean Centre, Harbour
City, 3-27 Canton Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui,
3185-8338) and outdoor bar La Terrasse
to its repertoire. The flagship patisserie/
restaurant and new establishments are all
clustered together in the corner of Ocean
Terminal, with Epure holding court where
Spasso used to be. Get settled in a forestwallpapered
booth and dig into decadent
specialties by French chef Nicolas Boutin,
who worked in Bordeaux and high-end
resorts in the Caribbean and the Maldives
before ditching it all for Hong Kong.
’Tis the Season
Get your bums over to La Saison by
Jacques Barnachon (2/F, The Cameron,
33 Cameron Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 2789-
8000), because it’s one of the best things
to happen on Kowloon side this year—
even though it took me a while to discover
it. (For some reason, news from across
the harbor travels light years slower to my
desk.) LS’s culinary director is the same
Jacques Barnachon of Michelin-starred
L’Etang du Moulin in scenic Bonnetage
in eastern France, but it’s executive chef
Florian Muller who churns out all the
painstakingly prepared dishes, using
ingredients that correspond to the French
agricultural calendar. The current menu
incorporates winter truffles, pumpkin and
black figs into veal, sea bream and duck
dishes. If they’re serving anything like the
plump scallops paired with crispy pig’s
ears, or the lobster dumplings soaked
in an intense seafood broth (which took
many Boston lobster shells and days of
reduction to achieve) that I had during our
media tasting, then I’m sure the dishes will
pretty much sell themselves.
Hostess With the Mostest
Planning to host your own holiday feast
this season Look no further than online
one-stop-shop Eezy Peezy Parties
(www.eezypeezyparties.com) for your
party supplies. If you’re an over-the-top,
obsessive-compulsive hostess like me,
nothing will bring you more joy than
having color-coordinated napkins and
plastic utensils, or absolutely unnecessary
but irresistibly cute three-tiered cupcake
stands. EPP has a whole bunch of
Christmas-themed goodies in stock,
from advent calendar boxes to paper
ornaments to reindeer-shaped cups. I may
or may not be planning my Christmas
party menu based entirely on the themes
of the plates I will soon be ordering.
Up and Running
SYP’s Awakening Cafe is now The
Awakening (G/F, 1-6 Ying Wa Terrace,
Sai Ying Pun). It’s been taken over by
chef Mike Boyle, who used to man the
kitchen at Bistecca, and prior to that,
headed the Hotel Rhombus restaurants.
The new Awakening is a haven for healthy
foodies (an oxymoron) and specializes in
gluten-free dishes, paleo-friendly foods,
and vegan options. This is pretty much a
180 from a chef who up until recently had
been dishing out creamed corn, sausagetopped
pastas and 16-ounce ribeyes
on a daily basis. Respect! So what can
we order at this completely revamped
neighborhood eatery Quinoa pastas,
14-ounce ribeyes (for carb-loathing
paleovores, we assume), and gluten-free
chocolate cakes, to name a few.
Sweets at La Saison
36 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

Time to U Hang out
Hung Up On U
U Hang (Shop 6-6A, 48-78 High St., Sai Ying Pun, 2549-6788) is the follow-up project to
popular mod Korean resto Sanche in Central, and this time ‘round it’s all about Korean
snacks and comfort food in a casual bar setting. As far as I know, there aren’t going to
be the usual suspects like dobbokki (spicy rice cakes), bibimbap or kimbap rolls—instead,
we’re talking short ribs, sliders and KFC (not the Kentucky variety). Wash it all down with
a soju cocktail or a steaming cup of Korean tea.
Hikari Bartaurant—all Japanese to me
It’s a Bird... It’s a Plane... It’s a Bartaurant!
Apparently, the folks at Hikari Bartaurant (Shop B, G/F, Jet Foil Mansion, 415-421
Jaffe Rd., Causeway Bay, 2808-0292) decided that neither “bar” nor “restaurant”
were suitable enough terms to describe their brand-spankin’ new venue. If it
was going to be a forced mashup, I personally would’ve gone for “restobar,”
but hey, to each their own. Hikari will be serving salads, yakitori and other
Japanese dishes bar-snack-style, paired alongside cocktails, wines
and sake. Upon entry, you will be greeted by (ninja) graffiti
on the walls—a 2014 hipster bar pre-req.
Email me at adele.wong@hkmagmedia.com
or follow me on Twitter: @adelewong_hk.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014 37

Culture + nightlife + film
Walk Walk
Fashion Baby
Wong Wo-bik is one of Hong Kong’s most
illustrious photographers. Best known
for documenting splendid old architecture before
it’s torn down, Wong’s new exhibition focuses
on the idea of observing and being observed.
Her new photo-series-within-a-photo-series,
“Not Just a Fashion Parade” sees models
donning shirts printed with Wong’s own artwork,
while they strut precariously across diverse
backdrops: from ancient Roman aqueducts to
tightropes. Playful artistic imagination or a slow
move towards fashion photography You decide.
Through Jan 11. Lumenvisum, L2-10,
30 Pak Tin St., Shek Kip Mei, 3177-9159.
38 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECember 5, 2014

ARTS
Edited by Evelyn Lok
evelyn.lok@hkmagmedia.com
Need to Know
Theater & Arts
Urbtix (credit cards) 2111-5999
Urbtix (enquiries) 2734-9009
HK Ticketing 3128-8288
HK Arts Centre 2582-0200
Fringe Club 2521-7251
HK Cultural Centre 2734-2009
HK City Hall 2921-2840
HK Academy for Performing Arts 2584-8500
Kwai Tsing Theatre 2408-0128
LCSD Music Programme Office 2268-7321
LCSD Dance/Multi-Arts Office 2268-7323
LCSD Theatre Office 2268-7323
UPCLOSE Craig Downing and Marcus Gadau
The one-day short film showcase, Couch
Film Fest, comes to Hong Kong for the
first time this year. Evelyn Lok speaks to
founder Craig Downing (l) and the man
who brought it to Hong Kong, Marcus
Gadau (r), about how the festival will
fare in the SAR.
HK Magazine: So what’s Couch Film Fest
all about
Craig Downing: Our mission is to bring people
together with mind-blowing films. So, it’s a film
fest, sure, but really it’s a community development
project disguised as a film festival. We wanted to
create an appealing event for people to come to,
in order to share an experience and hopefully talk
to each other about it. Shorts seemed like a great
approach, since the commitment is low and there
are so many to pick from! If they are around four
minutes, people might be more likely to try them
out, versus committing to a full movie.
Drunker than a Skunk (USA) BÄR (Bear) (Germany) Dick Food (USA)
Marcus Gadau: Another aspect of Couch Film
Festival is to bring people together in a new and
personal way. I was immediately fascinated by the
idea when I met Craig in Seattle. People in Hong
Kong are always in a hurry, nobody has time for a
three-hour movie!
HK: How will the films here differ from those
shown at the original event in Seattle
CG: All the shorts are under eight minutes—
on average about four minutes. That way people
are more likely to take a risk with a genre they don’t
typically like. We have a little bit of everything, from
everywhere. Most of the films are celebrated films
from the recent international film festival circuit—
Cannes, Berlin, Seattle, Toronto, Palm Springs and
many others. We have films from Australia, Germany,
Canada, Spain, Canada, Cambodia—so many other
countries. We have documentaries, comedies, dark
comedies, drama, animation, experimental and
some genre-bending films.
HK: So what happens on the day itself
MG: We will be providing Barcelona-style
homemade sangria with special winter ingredients
to spice up the festival. There will be breaks
between the movies, allowing room and time for
social interaction and, obviously, there’s a common
topic to indulge in. The sangria will do the rest!
Film buff with nothing to do this weekend
Hop over to The Hive on Dec 6, 3pm to take part
in the Couch Film Fest. The Hive, 21/F, The Phoenix
Building, 23 Luard Rd., Wan Chai, 3568-6343. $100
from www.eventbrite.hk; $50 for unlimited drinks
until stock runs out.
Valentine (UK)
Life Patented (Austria)
Stage
Theater
HK Players Panto 2014: Puss in Boots
The Hong Kong Players are back with their
yearly holiday pantomime that’s packed with
fun for the whole family. This year, they bring us
an all-new production of “Puss in Boots.” Jane
Archibald plays the titular cat (sorry ladies, no
sexy Antonio Banderas voiceovers here), who
with the help of Dame Trifle and Alice, takes
down Mayor Boris and the Evil Queen of the
Rats. It’s always guaranteed to be a sold-out
run, so make a last-minute grab! Dec 5-6, 11-13,
7:30pm; Dec 6, 14, 2:30pm; Dec 7, 12:30pm,
5pm. Shouson Theatre, Arts Centre, 2 Harbour
Rd., Wan Chai. $290-330 from www.urbtix.hk.
Charles Dickens:
Tonight, A Christmas Celebration
What holiday season is complete without
Charles Dickens’ Christmas staple, “A Christmas
Carol” Daniel Foley of the UK’s Performance
Exchance company brings us a poignant and
lively reflection of Dickens’ life, playing the
famous author himself. He’ll be joined on stage
by a cast of well-known Dickensian characters,
including the old miser Ebeneezer Scrooge.
Bah, Humbug! Dec 12-13, 7:30pm. Fringe Club,
2 Lower Albert Rd., Central, 2525-1032. $100-130
from www.hkticketing.com.
Brave Heart Theatre: Three Little Men
The intimate venue theater series continues.
Local writer Wing-man Lam takes inspiration
from Edward Albee’s famous (and Pulitzer Prizewinning)
play “Three Tall Women” and turns it on
its head with a Hong Kong twist to play around
with stereotypes about sex, size, and race. Brave
Heart Theatre shows are one hour long, and run
every Wednesday to Friday. Through Dec 19,
7pm, 9pm. Premium, B/F, 212-216 Wing Lok St.,
Sheung Wan, 9175-1402. $100-200 from www.
ticketingover.com; $150-250 at the door.
Dance
Duras Project:
Moderato Cantabile/C’est Tout
Literary nerds, get ready to take your emotions
to To Kwa Wan’s Cattle Depot, where dance
performances will commemorate the 100th
birthday of the late Vietnam-born French writer,
Marguerite Duras. Duras was an eminent avant
garde writer, playwright and film director, and
two multimedia dance performances will take
place, inspired by two of her best known works:
“Moderato Cantabile” and her last piece, “C’est
Tout”—both explore Duras’ favorite themes
of love and death. Dec 12-14, 8pm; Dec 13-14,
3pm. Cattle Depot Theatre, Cattle Depot Artist
Village, 63 Ma Tau Kok Rd. $220 from
www.urbtix.hk.
Storm Clouds
Based on the acclaimed Hong Kong martial arts
graphic novel series of the same name, the
original creator Ma Wing-shing takes up the role
of art director in this brand new production by
the Hong Kong Dance company. It coincides
with the grand finale of the comic series, which
means you’ll be duking it out with its hardcore
fans for tickets to this phenomenal translation
to stage. Dec 12-14, 7:45pm; Dec 13-14, 3pm.
Grand Theatre, Cultural Centre, 10 Salisbury Rd.,
Tsim Sha Tsui. $160-360 from www.urbtix.hk.
Carmen
The world famous Antonio Gades Company,
AKA flamenco royalty, will grace Hong Kong with
three performances of “Carmen”—the ultimate
gypsy femme fatale—set to Gades’ acclaimed
original choreography. The dance is based on
the original novella by Prosper Mérimée and is
a tale of Romani bandits, romance, jealousy, and
many, many confusing Spanish names. Jan 2-3,
2015, 8:15pm; Jan 4, 2015, 3pm. Grand Theatre,
Cultural Centre, 10 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui.
$180-520 from www.urbtix.hk.
Classical
A Jazzy Evening
with Bleu
Fondue
Apparently, the
new jazz ensemble
Bleu Fondue
brings “a potpourri
of styles” to the
Fringe Dairy stage.
The five-piece
band is made up of
Hongkongers from
all walks of life:
violinist Jonathan
and pianist Michael
are orthopedic surgeons; physiotherapist Chung
plays the drums; Felix, a solicitor, plays the
electric bass; and HKPhil Principal Violist Andrew
Ling rounds off the group. If you’ve ever been
curious about jazz violin, then check out this gig.
If the name is anything to go by, expect quirky,
strong and pungent tunes. Dec 5, 9:30pm. Fringe
Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd., Central, 2525-1032.
$130-170 from venue..
Good Music at the Fringe
with James Cuddeford
The HK Sinfonietta’s Concertmaster James
Cuddeford steps out for this concert series
at the Fringe Club. For the debut concert,
he presents a broad range of music played on
multiple violins and a cello. Pieces range from
classical to modern, by the likes of Purcell, Bach,
Elliott Carter and Prokofiev. Dec 9, 7pm. Fringe
Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd., Central, 2525-1032.
$90-100 from hksl.org, including one drink.
Oliver Coates
The British Council brings award-winning
cellist Oliver Coates to town for a musicianin-residence
program. He’ll be taking part
in an array of workshops and collaborative
performances throughout the city—in particular,
partnering up with local musician Kung Chi
Shing. Aside from classical cello, Coates is
also known to dabble in electronic music, and
occasionaly blends the two worlds together.
After his workshops, you can check out his
music at a group and solo performance on
December 8 and 9 ($120 from venue), and a
free street concert on December 20, both at
the Hong Kong Arts Centre. Dec 8-9, 20, 8pm.
Hong Kong Arts Centre, 2 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai,
2582-0200. Free.
Photo:HK Sinfonietta Ltd Photo:Phil Sharp
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014 39

ARTS
Pogorelich
The brilliant Belgrade-born pianist Ivo Pogorelich
takes to the stage this month for a lengthy oneman
showcase of Liszt, Schumann, Stravinsky,
and Brahms. Pogorelich has been called many
things: a genius, a poet, and a visionary “200
years ahead of our time.” And you thought the
future was all about rap and dubstep. Dec 9,
8pm. Concert Hall, Cultural Centre, 10 Salisbury
Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui. $200-500 from www.urbtix.hk.
Yundi Li at the HK Coliseum
Yundi Li has become a household name since
winning the prestigious International Chopin
Piano Competition at the tender age of 18—with
his signature wind-blown, Takuya Kimura-style
coiffure that he’s chopped off in recent
years. Shame. He’s also perhaps the biggest
modern proponent of Chopin’s music. Li plays
Hong Kong’s Coliseum for the first time this
December—don’t miss it! Dec 13, 8:15pm. Hong
Kong Coliseum, 9 Cheong Wan Rd., Hung Hom.
$250-1,250 from www.urbtix.hk.
HK Philharmonic with
Lang Lang
Piano superstar Lang
Lang barely needs an
introduction; He takes the
stage this December for
an epic presentation of piano concertos with
the HK Philharmonic and Principal Conductor
Jaap Van Zweden. It’ll be two very different
affairs on the two evenings: the spotlight will be
on Mozart’s famed last piano concerto on the
first night, and on the romance of Tchaikovsky’s
works on the second. Dec 18-19, 8pm. Concert
Hall, Cultural Centre, 10 Salisbury Rd., Tsim Sha
Tsui. $480-1,980 from www.urbtix.hk.
Photo:Harald Hoffmann
Alessandro Lanzoni Jazz Trio
Following on from a slew of rave reviews and
accolades, jazz pianist Alessandro Lanzoni was
recognized as the best new talent of the year
in 2013 by Musica Jazz magazine for being
a forerunner of contemporary Italian jazz.
Presumably the secret lies in syncopating your
gesticulating. See Lanzoni’s trio with Matteo
Bortone on the double bass and Enrico Morello
on the drums at a free concert at the Hong
Kong Arts Centre. Be sure to register early for
a spot. Dec 19, 8pm. Shouson Theatre, Arts
Centre, 2 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai. Free; register
at eventbrite.com.
Maksim
The Croatian-born pianist Maksim Mrvica is
known for his lightning fast playing, for being
one of the first to make it big by blending upbeat
dance rhythms into classical piano, but perhaps
most of all, for his goth-rock bad boy image
which earned him a massive following across
Asia in the early-to-mid noughties. See the man
performing in Hong Kong for the first time ever,
accompanied by his band. He’s only playing one
show, so get your tickets quick—they’re sure to
be snapped up in a flash. Dec 21, 4pm. Hall 5G,
HKCEC, 1 Expo Drive, Wan Chai. $380-880 from
www.hkticketing.com.
Island Express Jazz Orchestra
Live at Fringe Dairy
The Island Express Jazz Orchestra is Hong
Kong’s very own big band—headed by music
director Shoichi Chinda, the musicians and solo
vocalist Ela Allegre, who come from a variety of
international backgrounds. They’ll be playing a
tasty selection of big band jazz standards and
songs by contemporary jazz composers Bob
Mintzer, Frank Mantooth and Matt Catingub.
Dec 27, 10pm. Fringe Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd.,
Central, 2525-1032. $120-150 includes one drink.
Comedy
ComedyHK Presents: Brent Weinbach
America’s kookiest rising star Brent Weinbach
sparks off his Asian debut this December.
His refreshing, surreal humor and deadpan
delivery has earned him a dedicated following
in the States. On top of already having had the
spotlight on him on the Comedy Central and talk
show circuit, he’s appeared on the alt stand-up
tour “The Comedians of Comedy” with Zach
Galifianakis, and was also a winner of the Andy
Kaufman award, a yearly accolade recognizing
innovation in stand-up comedy. Much of
Weinbach’s routines take on character snippets
from real life: wanna see him don the attitude
of a hardcore gangster, the smarm of a jazz
musician, or let out an impression of his Filipino
uncle Get your tickets before December 8 for
$250, or $300 at the door. Tuesday’s gig is held
at Salon de Ning (The Peninsula, Salisbury Road,
Tsim Sha Tsui), Wednesday at Sunset Lounge
(100 Cyberport Rd., Cyberport), and Thursday at
Dada Bar and Lounge (The Luxe Manor Hotel, 39
Kimberley Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui). Dec 9-11, 8:30pm.
Opera
Puccini’s Turandot
Puccini’s famous last opera, “Turandot,” is
known for being full of conundrums. Based
in China, it centers on the story of Princess
Turandot, who gives her suitors three riddles
that they must answer correctly for her hand in
marriage. If they fail, they are beheaded. When
Prince Calaf gets all three correct, the Princess
backs out of her promise. Calaf offers to set
her free and take his own life—but only if she
can guess his name. How’s that for a Chinese
puzzle The opera was left unfinished when
Puccini passed away in 1924, and there are two
endings that were subsequently written—The
Franco Alfano endings will be played on the
first and third performances, and the Luciano
Berio ones on the second and last. It’s the first
time ever that both endings will be played in the
same production. Dec 12-13, 7:45pm; Dec 13-14,
2:30pm. Concert Hall, City Hall, 5 Edinburgh
Place, Central. $150-630 from www.urbtix.hk.
Advertorial
40 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014

Exhibitions
Hu Yongkai
Even if you aren’t familiar with Hu Yongkai’s name,
you’ll recognize his paintings. The Beijing native is known
for his colorful, distinctive portraits of women with clean,
simple lines and brightly colored flat backgrounds, which
place him on the cusp of modern and traditional Chinese
painting. Hu’s ladies all have the same facial expression:
slight eyes and a tiny pout. Could it be An egotistical
self-representation of the artist Or just a comment on
selfie culture Dec 5-28. Wan Fung Central Showroom,
63 Staunton St., Central, 2596-0038.
Konstantin Bessmertny: Stir-fry
Russian-born, Macau-based artist Konstantin Bessmertny
returns with a cultural stir-fry of old and new works. See his
signature surreal and absurdist oil paintings, which comment
on everything from the way he values intelligence, to tongue-incheek
references to the progress of humankind. The intricately
painted details are met with a brutish cast of characters, often
in the middle of borderline offensive acts. In Bessmertny’s words,
“straightforward messages are disturbing”—so expect a grand
time trying to decipher every hidden story. Through Jan 31, 2015.
10 Chancery Lane Gallery, 10 Chancery Lane, Central, 2810-0065.
Dimension
Avenue des Arts is about to trip you up with its holiday season show, featuring two artists who
attempt to stretch the idea of mental and physical dimensions in their work. You’ll see creations
by the French sculptor Laurence Bonnel, whose art is often a series of forms—vases, people, or
something completely abstract—in the process of decay or movement. Complementing Bonnel’s
works are ethereal shots of China and Hong Kong’s overpasses by Hong Kong-based photographer
Paul Milburn. Through Jan 17, 2015. Avenue Des Arts, Unit 6, 12/F, Hollywood Center,
233 Hollywood Rd., Sheung Wan, 2744-6699.
Conforming to Vicinity:
A Cross-Strait Four-Region Artistic Exchange Project
This artist exchange project brings together 13 artists from
Hong Kong, the mainland, Macau and Taiwan. The series
of works has been touring the region, confronting Asia’s
conflicting social structures and cultural conventions. Expect
thoughtful works investigating identity, land, and history.
Through Feb 1, 2015. University Museum and Art Gallery,
Hong Kong University, 94 Bonham Rd., Pok Fu Lam, 2241-5500.
T: +852 2554 9088
902 Horizon Plaza, 2 Lee Wing Street, Ap Lei Chau, Hong Kong
www.everythingunderthesun.com.hk
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014 41

nightlife
Edited by Andrea Lo
andrea.lo@hkmagmedia.com
Twitter: @andreas_lo
hk picks
Night Bite
Events promoter Fresh Off the Boat brings us this party: Expect nibbles from Zuma all night, and an open
bar from 11pm-1am. After you stuff your face, throw shapes courtesy of a roster of DJs. The lineup includes
Neil Armstrong (no, not the astronaut), who used to be Jay Z’s tour DJ; queen of club bangers Eve Speciall
(pictured); and disco and funk DJ Subcoat, among others. Also: who could say no to an open bar Dec 6,
11pm. Zuma, 5-6/F, The Landmark, 15 Queen’s Rd. Central, 3657-6388. $300-350 from www.ticketflap.com.
Clubs
Fashion Night at Boujis
Ladies, hit up the club before midnight for some
free bubbles. Sorry, boys. Dec 11, 10pm. Boujis,
37 Pottinger St., Central, 2324-0200. Free.
Kaskade
Prive Group’s new joint Bungalow turns into a
nightclub after dark, and it’s bringing in house
DJ Kaskade to christen the decks. Dec 11,
10:30pm. Bungalow, Shop 2, G/F, The Centrium,
60 Wyndham St., Central, 2623-7868. $450-600
from www.eventbrite.com.
Ben Klock
Berlin-born techno DJ
Ben Klock takes over
Volar, as part of the
celebrations for events
promoter Push’s fifth
anniversary. Dec 12,
10pm. Volar, B/F, 38-44
D’Aguilar St., Central,
2810-1510. $150-250
from www.ticketflap.
com; $300 at the door before 12:30am and
$400 thereafter, both include two drinks.
Gigs
Underground 115
At 115, expect to see everything from folk
to alternative rock bands. There’s pop, folk
and indie-rock duo One Talent, consisting
of a married couple who made their start in
Vancouver; indie rockers The Sulis Club; plus
alt-rock bands Mockingbird and Van De Kamp.
Dec 5, 8:30pm. Backstage Live, 1/F, Somptueux
Central, 52-54 Wellington St., Central, 2167-8985.
$120 from www.ticketflap.com; $150 at the door.
Revocation
US metal band Revocation has been around since
2000, bringing thrash and death metal sounds
to fans over four albums and regular live shows.
Don’t like metal Maybe move along. Dec 6,
8pm. Hidden Agenda, Unit 2A, Wing Fu Industrial
Building, 15-17 Tai Yip St., Ngau Tau Kok. $220
from www.ticketflap.com; $280 at the door.
I Am Waiting For You Last Summer
Post-rock and indie-electronica Russian band
I Am Waiting For You Last Summer [sic] is making
a flying visit. Ignore the grammatically incorrect
name—they probably did it for the SEO. Dec 7,
8pm. Hidden Agenda, Unit 2A, Wing Fu Industrial
Building, 15-17 Tai Yip St., Ngau Tau Kok. $200
from www.ticketflap.com; $240 at the door.
Yellowcard
Early noughties teens, this one is for you.
Remember LA pop-punk band Yellowcard The
four-piece is here on its Asia tour. Hands up if
“Ocean Avenue” was your teen anthem, circa
“The O.C.” years. Dec 7, 8pm. Musiczone, KITEC,
1 Trademart Drive, Kowloon Bay. $380 from
www.cityline.com; $450-550 at the door.
The Drums
US indie pop duo The Drums returns to Hong
Kong. Active since 2008, the Brooklyn-based
twosome has toured with the likes of the
Bombay Bicycle Club and supported Florence
and the Machine. Dec 11, 8pm. Musiczone,
KITEC, 1 Trademart Drive, Kowloon Bay. $395-495
from www.cityline.com; $540 at the door.
Hong Kong Gig Guide
5th Anniversary Showcase
Facebook page Hong Kong Gig Guide gives details
of shows happening around town. Celebrating
the page’s fifth anniversary, the owner—who is
actually based overseas—is hosting a show at
The Wanch. The gig features three of his favorite
local bands: metal and hardcore group Shepherds
the Weak, gothic band Vrank and alt-rockers Jat
Bun Sing. Dec 11, 9:30pm. The Wanch, 54 Jaffe
Rd., Wan Chai, 2586-1621.
Just Music Gig
The Fringe Club’s Just Music Gig boasts an
eclectic mix of musicians. See guitarist and
singer Roddy Yuen; alt-rock and Brit rock band
Particle (pictured); plus acoustic cover band Nice
to Meet You, a band formed at the Silvermine
Bay Festival last year. Dec 13, 9:30pm. Fringe
Club, 2 Lower Albert Rd., Central, 2525-1032.
$160 at the door.
42 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, December 5, 2014

New Year’s Eve
The Mira
Your attention please: there is an open
bar at The Mira’s countdown party! Dress
in masked glamour and see belly dancers,
bands and live DJs. Go baller and drop some
dollars on a cabana, which comes with 10
tickets and all kinds of perks, like two magnums
of champagne. After the party at alfresco bar
Vibes wraps up at 2am, head down to lounge
bar Room One. Dec 31, 9pm. The Mira,
118 Nathan Rd., Tsim Sha Tsui, 2368-1111.
$788 before Dec 24; $888 thereafter, from
www.themirahotel.com.
Duddell’s
The theme at the Duddell’s party is “Havana
Nights,” which, naturally, comes with a live
Cuban band. You’ll get a glass of champagne
and a light supper, served after the countdown.
Dec 31, 10pm. Duddell’s, 3-4/F, Shanghai Tang
Mansion, Duddell St., Central, 2525-9191.
$530 before Dec 10; $580 thereafter,
from www.eventbrite.hk.
Ozone
Suit up in your sparkliest Sunday best, as the
theme of this year’s party is “Diamonds in the
Sky.” Expect live performers and international
DJs Xinobi and El’se. Book a table and choose
from the five bottle packages available: “The
Glitter” is $14,500 and includes a bottle of
Perrier-Jouët Belle Epoque, plus a bottle of
your choice, 20 shooters—and four boxes of
Italian caviar. Dec 31, 10pm. Ozone, 118/F, The
Ritz-Carlton, 1 Austin Rd. West, West Kowloon,
2263-2010. $700 from www.eventbrite.hk; $350
at the door after 12:30am.
Recently, boxer Manny Pacquiao fought his
second Sunday morning fight in Macau and
I went for the weekend. Here’s my running diary:
Saturday
1pm We’re on the ferry to Macau. I go economy
now, after realizing there’s no difference except
the attendants put a rope in front of you to let the
upper deck exit first. I pledge to start a revolution,
then remember it’s bad luck to open umbrellas
inside so I wait politely while quietly swearing
under my breath.
2pm Immigration. Gotta run to border control.
I knock over a middle-aged woman, keep running,
don’t look back. Look, we’re coming for a fight.
Best to get in the right mindset.
3pm Fatburger time! “Do you want to split one
so we don’t have too many calories” I ask my
friend. She stares at me like I’ve suggested killing
the Pope. “Two Fatburgers,” I tell the attendant.
“Triple patties.” It’s on.
4:30pm Ugh. Time to do some work. I head to
the media room. “I’m here for my pass” I say.
“Do you have your confirmation printout and
business card” I’m asked. I left it in the room. I
pledge to start another revolution but instead walk
away swearing politely under my breath.
THE STRAIGHT MAN
with Yalun Tu
The Pacquiao Weekend
5:45pm Have you ever been in The Venetian,
forgotten something, and had to go to another part
of The Venetian to get it It takes like two hours to
get anywhere. Once, I got back from the tables at
4am and my keycard wasn’t working, so I slept on
the rug outside my door instead of trekking back to
the front desk. Anyway, I have my pass now.
8pm We’re at Fernando’s, ready for prawns and
a Fatburger I may have smuggled in. I’m mid-fight
with a platinum-dyed Irish blonde who keeps
calling me “love” and telling me she didn’t just cut
in line. “I was here first. I’m getting a beer,”
I explain. “[Incomprehensible Irish accent]!” she
responds. I give up. Three guys clap sarcastically at
my failure. They turn out to be HBO cameramen.
I ask if they’ll put me on TV. “No” the guy says.
1am Well, that escalated quickly. Drinks, drinks
and we’re at the Bellini Lounge. Early 2000s
rapper Ja Rule is on stage. It’s typical rap concert
stuff where they play a track and Ja yells random
words. I realize rap concerts and my grandmother
singing oldies is about the same experience.
2am I’m in the bathroom. Ja Rule walks in. “Listen
up!” he yells to nobody in particular. “There’s so
much f****** money in this place. And we’re
going to leave our mother f****** footprint
Yalun Tu is a columnist for HK Magazine. You can reach him at yalun.tu@gmail.com or @yaluntu on Twitter.
here!” It’s inspiring. I want to high-five him but
my hand is currently holding my penis.
3am I’m heading to bed and I run into Ja Rule!
This moment was fated to happen. I’d tell you
what happened but I’m out of space, and what
happened that night should never be repeated.
Sunday
9am I’m at the fight. I’m amazed I got out of bed.
They’re handing out free beers in my section.
I decide to take it easy so I have seven. Also,
chocolate ice cream.
11am This is the moment we’ve been waiting for.
The undercards have finished and now it’s Manny
and Algieri. The crowd’s going MANNY! MANNY!
MANNY! and I’m screaming and they show
Stallone on the jumbotron and everyone chants
ROCKY! ROCKY! ROCKY! Man, I love boxing. Algieri
looks a bit like Chris Evans, i.e. he looks a bit like a
dick. When Manny knocks him down we all cheer.
When Manny knocks him down a second, third,
and finally sixth time we’re going bananas. It’s the
most bloodlust I’ve ever felt before lunch.
5pm I’m heading home. My time-release
hangover hits but I know I can look forward to
speeding through immigration with my HKID while
all these suckers wait in line. Until next year.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, december 5, 2014 43

SPORTS
charlotte.mulliner@
hkmagmedia.com
Edited by
Charley Mulliner
hk picks
Corporate Sevens 2014
It may not have quite the glamor, noise and ridiculous costumes of the Hong Kong Sevens, but the
Corporate Sevens puts on a decent show of rugby for a good cause. This year’s tournament sees
14 teams take to the pitch, raising funds for HK Society for the Protection of Children, to help the
charity launch a sports program at its support centers. The Corporate Sevens Village also includes
food and drink stalls, plus an all-day kids’ entertainment zone. And a whole lot less wayward urine.
Dec 7, 9am. So Kon Po Recreation Ground, 55 Caroline Hill Rd., Causeway Bay. Free.
What is the Gin Drinker’s Line *
In all major bookstores now! Or order yours at:
www.historicalhkhikes.com
Sumo Sushi Sake HK
Sushi and sake make a great pairing—
add in sumo wrestling and you’ve got one
bizarre sports-slash-foodie Japanese fest.
Returning for a second year, the event
features professional sumo wrestlers
Wakaryusei Keisuke and Shoketsu Yoshiaki,
both ranked top 10 in the Makushita division
in Japan. Also an odd one to watch: the
sushi and hot-dog eating contests! The
outdoor festival on the West Kowloon
waterfront includes food stalls from
the likes of Tiger Curry, Mr. Bing, Sugo
Sushi and Wagyu Master, plus live
music. Dec 13, noon. West Kowloon
Cultural District. $220-520 from
www.SumoSushiSakeHK.com.
Coming Up
AXA Hong Kong Streetathon
Sign up now for the second annual
Hong Kong Streetathon, which will take
runners through the streets of Kowloon
East in a loop from the Kai Tak Cruise
Terminal. There are two races: the 10km
and—new to this year—the 21km half
marathon which will take you through
the Kwun Tong Bypass. The fancy dress
theme this year is … toys! The terminal
will transform into a carnival for the
event, with concert performances, games,
entertainment and even an outdoor yoga
session on the old runway. How’s that for a
quirky Sunday funday Feb 8 2015, 8:30am.
Kai Tak Cruise Terminal, Kowloon City.
$280-280 from www.runourcity.org.
Longines Hong Kong Masters 2015
Get your early-bird tickets for the one of
the biggest social and sporting events of
2015—The Longines Hong Kong Masters,
Asia’s largest five-star international indoor
show jumping event. Returning for its third
year, 30 of the world’s best show jumping
riders and horses will compete for three
days for a total purse of $7.8 million. As
well as the races, you can expect Michelinstarred
cuisine, designer fashion shows,
contemporary art, champagne tasting and
luxury shopping—a taste of the high life. Even
higher if you’re jumping a horse. Feb 13-15
2015. AsiaWorld-Expo, Chek Lap Kok. $330-
980 from www.cityline.com and Tom Lee
Music Outlets. www.longineshkmasters.com.
Rugby Sevens
The online ballot is now open for the Hong
Kong Sevens, to be held on March 27-29
2015. Only 3,000 tickets a day are up for
public ballot—so get working on your sports
club or corporate sponsors now. Applicants
can register for a maximum of two tickets for
each of the three tournament days. If you’re
lucky enough to snag a prized ticket, expect
to pay more this year: with adult day passes
now $300 for the Friday (up from $200) and
$750 for Saturday and Sunday (up from
$650). A three-day tournament pass will set
you back $1,800, an extra $300 on last year.
Registration is open until Jan 31. Winners
will be notified electronically on Feb 4 with
separate draws taking place for each day of
the event. Apply at www.hksevens.com.
Hot Opening
Escapade Sports – Clearwater Bay
Good news for fitness fanatics living in the
New Territories—Escapade Sports has just
opened up a branch in Clearwater Bay.
Just like its other two stores, you can find a
comprehensive selection of sports equipment,
including swimwear, rugby and netball gear,
plus fitness and trail running kit. Escapade
Sports can set you up with everything from
fashionable flip-flops to hardcore workout
gear. Now you’ve got no excuse, NTers.
Shop 5, 8/F, Silverstrand Mart, Clearwater Bay,
2705-9919, www.escapade.com.hk.
44 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5, 2014

HK Mag ad.pdf 1 12/2/2014 6:50:10 PM
FILM
Edited by Evelyn Lok
evelyn.lok@hkmagmedia.com
The Theory of Everything PPPPP
Directed by James Marsh. Starring Eddie Redmayne, Felicity Jones, David Thewlis,
Charlie Cox. Category IIA. 123 minutes. Opened Dec 4.
If pondering black holes isn’t really your cup of tea and ripples in the fabric of space-time don’t
float your boat, then you’ll probably enjoy this biopic about scientist Stephen Hawking quite a
bit. Because “The Theory of Everything” is really just a theory on Stephen Hawking’s love life.
For all the scientific discussion in this film, Hawking may as well have been a chef.
James Marsh, the Academy Award-winning director of “Man on Wire,” tackles this
challenging biopic by basing it on Jane Wilde Hawking’s biography “Traveling to Infinity: My
Life with Stephen.” It starts off introducing us to a young, active—albeit dorky and socially
awkward—Stephen Hawking, crashing through the cobblestoned roads of Cambridge on his
bicycle. The young cosmology student meets arts student Jane Wilde (the very pretty Felicity
Jones) at a party, eventually sweeping her off her feet… until an accident leads Stephen to
a life-changing diagnosis of motor neuron disease (ALS). The doctors predict that he has
two years left to live. Despite these odds, the promising young scientist marries Jane, and
fights his harrowing illness with her by his side.
Rather than a story focusing on the achievements of the great scientist, probably for fear
of the audience falling asleep at all the boring science talk (and indeed, all remaining science
talk in this film seems to be pointed at a greater metaphor for Love and Life), Marsh’s take
on Hawking’s life zooms in on the struggles of his domestic life—insecurities, arguments and
jealousy silently boil between the two—as well as love, sacrifice, and ultimately, distance.
It seeks to show us that despite Stephen’s professional achievements, his private life is its
own story.
The film wants to be a shining, lofty romance, yet it focuses on the couple’s imperfections.
Then it hollowly dresses it up with a ponderous investigation of the nature of time within
Stephen’s research: time he has little of before his illness takes over. There’s also a real lack
of time spent actually showing us the couple falling in love: Their “chemistry” is illustrated as
nervous glances across the room, and one cute but clichéd slow dance under the stars. Next
thing you know, they have multiple kids. The bulk of this love story revolves around how tired
Jane is of dealing with Stephen’s crap—hardly anything for us to swoon over, except with
respect for the real Jane Wilde for single-handedly rearing a family.
The release of the first Stephen Hawking biopic meant that all eyes would be on leading
man Eddie Redmayne. Would he just be sitting mute in a chair for half the movie But there’s
nothing to worry about here. Redmayne’s performance is exceptional. He nails all of his
character’s emotions with his eyes alone: It’s subtle, fantastic acting.
As for Felicity Jones, her portrayal of Jane is supposed to convey an unlikely and formidable
strength, wrapped in a youthful and dainty appearance. It translates fairly well in scenes where
Jane is supposedly still young, but it loses force as the plot moves on.
The film is beautifully shot, with the soft dreary light and vintage charm of small-town England
the whole way through—matching pretty well with an equally soft and dreary romance. There’s no
grand sweeping love affair here: just quiet sacrifice with the occasional joys and successes of real
life. It raises the question, though: why would you go to a cinema to see real life Evelyn Lok
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HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, december 5, 2014 45

FILM
Coming soon
It’s free!
Cold in July
(USA) 1989, Texas. In protecting his family
from a home intruder, Richard Dane (Michael
C. Hall) shoots burglar Freddy Russell in the
head. If only they knew that it was the son of
a ruthless ex-con, who soon comes gunning
for the whole family. Expect blood-soaked
revenge, and mullets. Opens Dec 11.
Revenge of the Green Dragons
(USA) Martin Scorsese teams up with Andrew
Lau (“Infernal Affairs”) in a producer-director
duo for this American gangster flick. The story
centers on the New York’s Chinatown gangs
of the 80s and its illegal immigration ops.
Seedy underground mahjong rings and martial
arts Hell yeah. But a questionable cast of
Justin Chon (“Twilight”), dancer Harry Shum Jr.
(“Glee”), and an appearance of YouTube star
Kevjumba… we’re not rolling out the praise
just yet. Opens Dec 11.
Opening
Five Minutes to Tomorrow
(Japan/China) Japanese heartthrob Haruma
Miura joins a Chinese cast for this romantic
mystery. It’s about two identical twin sisters
who are in love with the same man, Ryo
(Haruma). The twins take a trip together… but
only one returns. Ryo begins to suspect that
the twin who returns is not the one she claims
to be… Opens Dec 11.
Jessabelle
(USA) Produced by the guys who worked
on “Paranormal Activity” and “Insidious”
comes another supernatural spookfest, just
as everyone’s getting their Christmas trees
up. Hurray! Recovering from a car accident,
Jessabelle (Sarah Snook) returns to her family
home in Louisiana, only to discover a hidden
family secret: a haunting that begins to
threaten her life, obviously. Expect ominous
VHS tapes and Southern voodoo, with plenty
of ghostly attacks—all while Jessabelle
remains wheelchair-bound. That’s pretty
twisted. Opens Dec 11.
A Most Wanted Man
(UK) Based on a novel by John le Carré, this
complex, heart-thumping film is about the life
of spies. It centers around the half-Chechen,
half-Russian illegal immigrant Issa Karpov
(Grigoriy Dobrygin) who stumbles across
the Hamburg border and into Islamic circles.
In one of his last roles, late Philip Seymour
Hoffman plays a German spy who tries to
collect intelligence on the Muslim community
and suspects Karpov of being part of a more
elaborate terrorist scheme. Opened Dec 4.
Best of Me
(USA) Oh god, another teary-eyed romantic
tragedy concocted by Nicholas Sparks. “Best
of Me” follows the usual formula: Boy meets
girl. They fall in love. Disapproving father
figure stands in the way, but a death brings
them closer together. This time, the boy and
girl come in the form of estranged high school
sweethearts Dawson (James Marsden) and
Amanda (Michelle Monaghan), who return to
their hometown for a mutual friend’s funeral.
Bring your tissues. Opened Dec 4.
h k - m a g a z i n e . c o m / h k t a b l e t
Locke
(USA) More Tom Hardy within the span of
a month We’re not complaining. “Locke”
follows Ivan Locke (Hardy) on a long drive
one night, after he gets a single phone call
which begins to unravel everything about his
life: his family, his job and even his mind. With
rave reviews for Hardy’s thrilling emotional
performance, and tension-filled storytelling by
director Steven Knight (“Eastern Promises,”
“Dirty Pretty Things”), this is one intense
psychological drama you’ll want to catch this
December. Opens Dec 11.
Our Family
(Japan) A middle-aged mother of two is a
long-term sufferer of a brain tumor, and as
her mind soon falls into a state of dementia,
all of her suppressed grievances, from
debts to astranged family, begin to bubble
to the surface. Her husband and two sons
are at a loss for what to do. It’s like every
dysfunctional family holiday! Opens Dec 11.
Mini
Review
Contracted
(USA) Directed by Eric England,
this zombie-thriller follows the
life of Sam, a twenty-something female who’s
date-raped at a party… and begins to develop
horrific symptoms that seem to turn her into
a zombie. It’s as outrageous as it sounds; a
girl is raped and then becomes a zombie
To make things worse, the story line is so
unbelievable it’s almost funny. Sure, zombie
movies can’t exactly be realistic: but the girl
literally has blood pouring out of her eyes and
larvae coming out of her orifices, and no one
seems to notice she’s sick Then there’s the
supposedly traumatizing ending, which is so
poorly executed that the audience erupted
in laughter. “Contracted” has a few gross-out
scenes and a few slightly thrilling surprises,
but nothing makes up for the poor quality of
the plot and ending. P
Melissa Frankenberry
46 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, december 5, 2014

Need to Know
AMC Cinema, 2265-8933
www.amccinemas.com.hk
Broadway Circuit,
2388-3188
www.cinema.com.hk
Golden Harvest Cinema,
2622-6688
www.goldenharvest.com
MCL Cinema, 3413-6688
www.mclcinema.com
UA Cinema,
3516-8811
www.uacinemas.com.hk
The Metroplex, 2620-2200
www.metroplex.com.hk
The Grand Cinema,
2196-8170
www.thegrandcinema.
com.hk
hk pick
Exodus: Gods and Kings
(USA) Christian Bale plays Moses against
Joel Edgerton’s Pharoah Ramses in this epic
retelling of the biblical tale. That and the
fact that this new 3D-tastic film is brought
to us by acclaimed director Ridley Scott
(“Gladiator,” “Alien”) is pretty much all you
need to know. Go on, get your butt in the
theater. Opened Dec 4.
I Sell Love
(Hong Kong) This local indie flick recently
made its rounds on the international film
festival circuit before finally opening in Hong
Kong. With money struggles on her mind,
undergrad student Tiffany willingly falls into
prostitution. She finds a long-term client (Liu
Kai-chi), but meets the hotblooded, politicalminded
Rex (Chow Pak-ho), who provides a
different worldview. She soon finds out the
dire circumstances of the choice she has
made. Opened Dec 4.
The Drop
(USA) What started as a short story by
Dennis Lehane (“Mystic River”) has resulted
in a dark, brooding thriller by Oscarnominated
director Michael R. Roskam.
It stars Tom Hardy and the late James
Gandolfini (in his final film appearance),
respectively, as the bartender and owner
of a Brooklyn bar—a bar in which the city’s
organized crime groups “drop” and stash
their money. When Bob (Hardy) rescues an
abused pitbull puppy, suddenly everything
gets shaken into high gear. PPPP
Cultivated in Volcanic Soil
from New Zealand
Revelation of
Ghost Marriage
(Hong Kong/Singapore)
Sandra Ng and Jim Chim play Mr. and Mrs.
Ng, middle-aged parents grieving for their
adult son Peng, who died in a drowning
accident. While Mr. Ng seems unaffected,
Mrs. Ng regularly burns paper offerings to
Peng. But Peng’s soul isn’t at peace, and
one night he visits his mother in her sleep,
berating her for being overbearing and not
listening to his real needs. Mrs. Ng decides
to help find Peng a wife in the afterlife.
Their plan goes awry when a handsome
young man picks up the bait, suggesting
there’s more to Peng than Mrs. Ng thought.
Two local comedy powerhouses Ng and
Chim play subtle humor well in this dramaslash-black-comedy,
with the well-captured
brusqueness of the Chinese in matters of
family and the heart. While the premise
itself is unusual, and even quite flawed
in execution with plenty of cringe-worthy
dialogue, in the end it’s a worthwhile
commentary on harsh parenting in Chinese
culture—lasting even through to the
afterlife. PP Evelyn Lok
The Theory of Everything
(UK) See review, p.48. Opened Dec 4.
Continuing
Mini
Review
Before I Go to Sleep
(USA) Director Rowan Joffe (“28 Weeks
Later”) has taken on SJ Watson’s bestselling
thriller and scored Nicole Kidman,
Colin Firth and Mark Strong for the leads.
It’s about a woman who wakes up with her
memory wiped clean every day as a result
of a traumatic accident. One particular day,
she unearths a terrifying truth which causes
her to doubt everyone around her. Does this
make it a slightly more upbeat “Memento”
or a terrifying “50 First Dates”
Dumb and Dumber To
(USA) The long-awaited sequel to the
Farrelly brothers’ classic is here. Twenty
years on, best friends Lloyd Christmas
(Jim Carrey) and Harry Dunne (Jeff Daniels)
reunite and embark on an epic trip to find
Harry’s long-lost daughter, whom Lloyd has
fallen in love with. Gross-out funny or just
awful Time will tell.
Grace of Monaco
(USA) Nicole Kidman puts on her most
glamorous face (which is, frankly, the
same as all her other faces) to play the
much adored Grace Kelly, across from Tim
Roth as her husband, Prince Rainier III.
This biographical film was by no means
condoned by the current monarchy: it
focuses on her inner identity crisis set
during a seemingly overdramatized dispute
between Prince Rainier and Charles de
Gaulle in 1962. Fond of schmaltzy biopics
Check it out.
Hector and the Search for Happiness
(UK) Simon Pegg is Hector, a psychiatrist
with a clean and tidy life, a beautiful
girlfriend (Rosamund Pike) and the same
reliable roster of patients for years. But
lately he’s been stuck in a rut. In struggling
with how to bring real happiness to his
patients’ lives, he goes off on a journey
across the globe, and discovers what makes
him happy along the way. In an attempt
to tell a whimsical story of an Englishman
opening up to his loved ones and patients,
it’s become a smarmy, privileged, “Eat, Pray,
Love”-esque outsider’s view of the world.
Sigh. PP
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HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, deceMber 5, 2014 47
27/11/2014 12:23 PM

FILM
hk pick
Horrible Bosses 2
(USA) Jason Bateman, Jason Sudeikis and
Charlie Day return as the three best friends
who previously tried to off their obnoxious
bosses. After narrowly escaping prison
charges, the three decide that starting their
own business is probably a better option, but
once they’re duped by a wily businessman
(Christoph Waltz), they decide to kidnap his
adult son (Chris Pine) as a threat for ransom.
We wish it was more fun. Instead, it’s more
trailer trash: most of the good jokes—now
dumber and dirtier than its predecessor—
were already revealed in the promo, and the
trio’s constant bickering is good for nothing
but a migraine. PP
The Hunger Games:
Mockingjay Part 1
(USA) Hollywood’s darling JLaw returns as
Katniss Everdeen in the highly anticipated,
penultimate installment of the “Hunger
Games” franchise. As the resistance figures
out a way to save Peeta—now captured
by the government—Katniss is forced into
the role of rebel hero to save everyone she
loves. While full of great acting, beautiful
cinematography and badass action (as
badass as it gets for a YA movie), it’s the
weakest of the series so far and feels like
drawn-out filler before the grand finale. PPP
Interstellar
(USA) Christopher Nolan’s latest offering is a
mind-boggling space adventure. Set in an age
where Earth is increasingly unlivable, Matthew
McConaughey and Anne Hathaway play
extraterrestrial explorers sent to traverse the
galaxy in search of a new home for mankind.
You’ll be sucked in by the incredible visuals:
allow them to distract you from the ridiculous
Nolan-style plot twists. PPPP
John Wick
(USA) Keanu Reeves returns. This time, he’s
John Wick, an ex-hitman who comes out of
retirement looking for revenge on the Russian
thugs and crime bosses who wronged him.
The ones who mercilessly murdered his one
last love, Daisy… his pet beagle. Slow claps
all round for the greatest movie premise in
years, and a standing ovation for all the guns,
violence, and mayhem. PPPP
Meeting Dr. Sun
(Taiwan) In order to afford their tuition fees,
a group of teenage boys plot to steal the Sun
Yat-sen statue on campus and sell it for hard
cash… only to find that another group of boys
has exactly the same plan. Will they work
together, or bicker over the bronze
Rise of the Legend
(Hong Kong/China) Eddie Peng
(“Unbeatable”) plays the legendary martial arts
master and revolutionary, Wong Fei-hung. The
story is set in the late Qing dynasty, where a
corrupt Imperial Court thrives amongst opium
dens and brothels abound, and gang conflicts
begin to erupt. Wong Fei-hung flies in to bust
the gangs from the inside: Anti-corruption!
Yeah! Sammo Hung also makes an appearance
as the crime boss who mentors him, alongside
notable cameos by Angelababy and Tony
Leung Ka-fai. You won’t be disappointed by the
plentiful ab-tastic scenes and intense action,
but just allow Peng & co. to sit pretty and don’t
expect any deeply felt acting here. PPP
Saint Laurent
(France) Two YSL biopics in one year!
Following January’s release of “Yves Saint
Laurent,” this is hardly a do-over: “Saint
Laurent” by Bertrand Bonello stars the
dashing Gaspard Ulliel as the titular fashion
legend. It’s a darker glimpse into his midcareer
grind—with plenty of sex, drugs and
alcohol to keep viewers titillated, and equal
measures of fashion history to keep sartorial
experts intrigued. But a fair warning: it’s very,
very slow. PPP
The Snow White Murder Case
(Japan) Yoshihiro Nakamura (who made
tearjerking puppy flick “Quill”) takes on this
murder mystery. A beautiful OL working at
a cosmetics company is found burned and
stabbed to death: it’s up to TV presenter Yuji
Akahoshi (Gou Ayano) to get to the bottom
of it. If the OL really was the fairest of all, it’s
probably just because of makeup.
Tokyo Tribe
(Japan) Based on the legendary manga by
Santa Inoue, “Tokyo Tribe” is a film by Sion
Sono (“Suicide Club,” and TIFF Midnight
Madness People’s Choice Awardee “Why
Don’t You Play in Hell”) about simmering
yakuza conflicts. It’s a blood-drenched musical
epic complete with hip-hop sung by a cast of
real rappers, plus dancers, tattoo artists and
stunt performers. Would’ve been excellent if
only it wasn’t wrapped up with a pathetic and
unfunny deus ex machina. PPP
The World of Kanako
(Japan) This mystery thriller centers around
washed-up former detective Fujishima, who
goes searching for his missing daughter
Kanako. But perhaps Kanako isn’t everything
she seems. Fujishima soon falls into a rabbit
hole of all the most twisted schemes you can
imagine. Not for the faint of heart (or logical of
mind). PPP
48 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, december 5, 2014

Special screenings
The Art of Commercials
The Hong Kong Arts Centre celebrates the 24th anniversary of its “Art of Commercials”
showcase with this selection of the most entertaining and innovative TV commercials from
across the globe. Media geeks can also sit in on a talk with local TV, music video and film
director Susie Au on December 6 (2:30-4pm; register for free spot at
www.hkaconlineregistration.com). Nov 29-Dec 14. Agnès B. Cinema, Arts Centre,
2 Harbour Rd., Wan Chai, 2582-0200. $65 from www.urbtix.hk.
RAISE YOUR FIRST GLASS OF
CHAMPAGNE IN 2015 WITH US
Dinner & countdown package available
Film Festivals
UG/F, 9 Lan Kwai Fong,
Central, Hong Kong
Sergio Leone:
Spaghetti Western and Beyond
Worship the King of Spaghetti Westerns,
Sergio Leone (plus the super-handsome
young Clint Eastwood) all winter at the
Arts Centre. Catch favorites of the genre,
including all three films of the “Dollars
Trilogy,“ as well as “Once Upon a Time
in the West,” and “Once Upon a Time in
the Revolution.” Through Dec 28. Agnès B.
Cinema, Hong Kong Arts Centre, 2 Harbour
Rd., Wan Chai. $65.
French Cinepanorama
The 43rd French Cinepanorama offers
a staggering 61 films for your viewing
pleasure, such as “Clouds of Sils Maria”
(Dec 6), a drama about age, acting and reality
starring Juliette Binoche, Kristen Stewart and
Chloë Grace Moretz. Through Dec 11.
www.afhongkong.org.
CineFan: Leon the Professional
Catch the director’s cut of Luc Besson’s
undisputed classic, starring frequent
collaborator Jean Reno as an aging hitman,
and a young Natalie Portman as a 12-yearold
seeking revenge after her family was
murdered. Dec 14, 2pm. The Grand Cinema,
2/F, Elements, 1 Austin Rd. West, West
Kowloon, 2196-8170. $75.
CineFan: Edward Scissorhands
Hooray: it’s everyone’s favorite Christmas
mascot (with scissors for hands). Catch this
early masterpiece by the Johnny Depp and
Tim Burton duo at The Grand Cinema (2/F,
Elements, 1 Austin Rd. West, West Kowloon,
2196-8170) on Dec 13, 2pm; and at the
Agnès B. Cinema (Arts Centre, 2 Harbour Rd.,
Wan Chai, 2582-0200) on Dec 28, 2:30pm.
$65-75; Agnès B. Cinema screening tickets
from www.urbtix.hk.
Hong Kong Jewish Film Festival 2014
Catch the tail end of the Hong Kong Jewish
Film Festival, which has been held annually
in Hong Kong since 1999. Topics covered
range from harrowing retellings of Nazi
war stories to lighter fare such as “Kidon”
(Dec 6) a spy heist film starring Bar Refaeli.
Through Dec 7. Asia Society, 9 Justice Drive,
Admiralty, 2103-9511. $100 from asiasociety.
org/hong-kong.
Fresh Wave International
Short Film Festival
Across its 15-day run, the Fresh Wave
International Short Film Festival will be
screening 65 movies. Some are works
submitted by Hong Kong students, while
others are overseas indie flicks. There is a
special screening of six outstanding films,
including “Tricycle Thief” (Dec 19), which
was featured in the Toronto International
Film Festival. Dec 5-19. Broadway
Cinematheque, Prosperous Garden, 3 Public
Square St., Yau Ma Tei. www.freshwave.hk.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, deceMber 5, 2014 49

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50 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DecemBER 5, 2014

HOME
Free Will
Astrology
Rob Brezsny
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22-Dec 21): With both symbolic and practical actions,
Sagittarius-born Pope Francis has tried to reframe the message of the Catholic
Church. He’s having public showers installed for the homeless in Vatican City.
He has made moves to dismantle the Church’s bigotry toward gays. He regularly
criticizes growing economic inequality, and keeps reminding politicians that there
can be no peace and justice unless they take care of poor and marginalized
people. He even invited iconic punk poet Patti Smith to perform at the Vatican
Christmas Concert. You now have extra power to exert this kind of initiative in your
own sphere, Sagittarius. Be proactive as you push for constructive transformations
that will benefit all.
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CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 19): The limpet is an
aquatic snail. When it’s scared, it escapes at a rate
5:51 PM
approaching two inches per hour. If you get flustered
in the coming week, Capricorn, I suggest you flee
at a speed no faster than the limpet’s. I’m making
a little joke here. The truth is, if you do get into
a situation that provokes anxiety, I don’t think you
should leave the scene at all. Why There are two
possibilities. First, you may be under the influence
of mistaken ideas or habitual responses that are
causing you to be nervous about something there’s
no need to be nervous about. Or second, if you are
indeed in an authentic bind, you really do need
to deal with it, not run away.
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AQUARIUS (Jan 20-Feb 18): Science-fiction
novelist Philip K. Dick has been one of my favorite
authors since I discovered his work years ago. I love
how he reconfigured my mind with his metaphysical
riffs about politics and his prophetic questions about
what’s real and what’s not. Recently I discovered
he once lived in a house that’s a few blocks from
where I now live. While he was there, he wrote two
of his best books. I went to the place and found
it was unoccupied. That night I slept in a sleeping
bag on the back porch, hoping to soak up
inspiration. It worked! Afterwards, I had amazing
creative breakthroughs for days. I recommend
a comparable ritual for you, Aquarius. Go in quest
of greatness that you want to rub off on you.
PISCES (Feb 19-Mar 20): Do you enjoy telling
people what to do Are you always scheming
to increase your influence over everyone whose life
you touch If you are a typical Pisces, the answer
to those questions is no. The kind of power you are
interested in is power over yourself. You mostly want
to be the boss of you. Right now is a favorable time
to intensify your efforts to succeed in this glorious
cause. I suggest you make aggressive plans
to increase your control over your own destiny.
ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19): The National Science
Foundation estimates that we each think at least
12,000 thoughts per day. The vast majority of them,
however, are reruns of impressions that have passed
through our minds many times before. But I am
pleased to report that in the coming weeks, you
Aries folks are primed to be far less repetitive
than normal. You have the potential to churn out
a profusion of original ideas, fresh perceptions,
novel fantasies, and pertinent questions. Take full
advantage of this opportunity. Brainstorm like
a genius.
TAURUS (Apr 20-May 20): I enjoy getting spam
emails with outrageous declarations that are at odds
with common sense. “Eating salads makes you sick”
is one of my favorites, along with “Water is worse
for you than vodka” and “Smoking is healthier than
exercising.” Why do I love reading these laughable
claims Well, they remind me that every day I am
barraged by nonsense and delusion from the
news media, the Internet, politicians, celebrities,
and a host of fanatics. “Smoking is healthier than
exercising” is just a more extreme and obvious
lie than many others that are better disguised.
The moral of the story for you in the coming week:
Be alert for exaggerations that clue you in to what’s
going on discreetly below the surface. Watch
carefully for glitches in the Matrix.
GEMINI (May 21-Jun 20): Every one of us,
including me, has blind spots about the arts of
intimacy and collaboration. Every one of us suffers
from unconscious habits that interfere with our
ability to get and give the love we want. What are
your bind spots and unconscious habits, Gemini.
Ha! Trick question! They wouldn’t be blind spots and
unconscious habits if you already knew about them.
That’s the bad news. The good news is that in the
next six weeks you can catch glimpses of these
blocks, and make a good start toward reducing their
power to distort your relationships.
CANCER (Jun 21-Jul 22): Now and then, it is in fact
possible to fix malfunctioning machines by giving
them a few swift kicks or authoritative whacks.
This strategy is called “percussive maintenance.”
In the coming days, you might be inclined to use
it a lot. That’s probably OK. I suspect it’ll work even
better than it usually does. There will be problems,
though, if you adopt a similar approach as you try
to correct glitches that are more psychological,
interpersonal, and spiritual in nature. For those,
I recommend sensitivity and finesse.
LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22): What feelings or subjects
have you been wanting to talk about, but have
not yet been able to Are there messages you
are aching to convey to certain people, but can’t
summon the courage to be as candid as you need
to be Can you think of any secrets you’ve been
keeping for reasons that used to be good but aren’t
good any more The time has come to relieve
at least some of that tension, Leo. I suggest you
smash your excuses, break down barriers, and
let the revelations flow. If you do, you will unleash
unforeseen blessings.
VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22): In 1662, Dutch painter
Rembrandt finished “The Oath of Claudius Civilis.”
It was 18 feet by 18 feet, the largest painting
he ever made. For a short time, it hung on a wall
in Amsterdam’s Town Hall. But local burgomasters
soon decided it was offensive, and returned it to the
artist to be reworked. Rembrandt ultimately chopped
off three-fourths of the original. What’s left is now
hanging in a Stockholm museum, and the rest has
been lost. Art critic Svetlana Alpers wishes the
entire painting still existed, but nevertheless raves
about the remaining portion, calling it “a magnificent
fragment.” I urge you to think like Alpers. It’s time
to celebrate your own magnificent fragments.
LIBRA (Sep 23-Oct 21): You now have a special
talent for connecting things that have never been
connected. You also have a magic touch at uniting
things that should be united but can’t manage
to do so under their own power. In fact, I’m inclined
to believe that in the next three weeks you will
be unusually lucky and adept at forging links,
brokering truces, building bridges, and getting
opposites to attract. I won’t be surprised if you’re
able to compare apples and oranges in ways that
make good sense and calm everyone down.
SCORPIO (Oct 23-Nov 21): In 1989, Amy Tan
birthed her first novel, “The Joy Luck Club.” Her next,
“The Kitchen God’s Wife,” came out in 1991.
Both were bestsellers. Within a few years, the
student study guide publisher CliffsNotes did with
them what it has done with many masterpieces
of world literature: produced condensed summaries
for use by students too lazy to read all of the
originals. “In spite of my initial shock,” Tan said,
“I admit that I am perversely honored to be in
CliffsNotes.” It was a sign of success to get the same
treatment as superstar authors like Shakespeare
and James Joyce. The CliffsNotes approach is
currently an operative metaphor in your life, Scorpio.
Try to find it in your heart to be honored, even if
it’s perversely so. For the most part, trimming and
shortening and compressing will be beneficial.
Homework: What gifts do you want for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanza, Yule, and the
winter solstice Write to Buddha Claus at uaregod@comcast.net.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DecemBER 5, 2014 51

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52 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DecemBER 5, 2014

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HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DecemBER 5, 2014 53

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54 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DecemBER 5, 2014

DATING SERVICES / EVERYTHING ELSE
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To advertise, please contact
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or celia.wong@hkmagmedia.com
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I have been insecure about the way my
vagina looks for as long as I can remember.
When I was young, I would fantasize about
the day I would grow pubic hair long enough
to cover its unsightliness. That day never
came, and I was left with an enormous
insecurity about it. My labia minora is
oversize quite a bit. I know that this is not
uncommon, but its unattractiveness holds
me back from receiving oral sex. I don’t
even let my long-term boyfriend go down on
me because I’m afraid he’ll think it’s gross
and ugly. He assures me that he doesn’t
care about the way it looks, but I can’t
bring myself to let him do it. Any advice
that might help dispel a lifetime of genital
embarrassment
– Minora Is Majora
“I study vulvas and vaginas, and what people
think of vulvas and vaginas, so of course I want
MIM to love hers,” said Dr. Debby Herbenick, a
sex research scientist at Indiana University and a
sexual health educator at the Kinsey Institute. Dr.
Herbenick coauthored Read My Lips: A Complete
Guide to the Vagina and Vulva, and along with her
coauthor Dr. Vanessa Schick, she researched what
people like or dislike about vulvas and vaginas.
What they learned should come as a comfort to
you, MIM.
“Just as many people in our study talked
about loving long labia as talked about loving
smaller labia,” said Dr. Herbenick. “So long labia
are not universally regarded as ‘unsightly.’ In some
cultures, women start pulling their labia from an
early age to make their labia minora longer.”
I would suggest that you get your hands on
a copy of Read My Lips, MIM. Dr. Herbenick also
recommends Femalia and I’ll Show You Mine, two
other books that celebrate the broad diversity
of vulvas. “The Vagina Monologues is another
must-read,” said Dr. Herbenick, “especially the
monologue about Bob. It’s about one woman who,
through positive sexual experiences with a vulvaloving
partner, comes to appreciate her vulva.”
Which brings us to your partner, MIM. He’s
into you and would like to go down on you. If
you’re quoting him accurately—if he’s telling you
that he doesn’t care how your vulva looks—then
he’s doing “assurance” all wrong. He’s saying,
“I am willing to go down on you despite the
unattractiveness of your vulva,” when he needs to
be saying, “Your vulva is beautiful, and I want to
go down on you.” Show him this column, MIM, and
after he apologizes for screwing up the assurance
thing, let him go down on you already.
“What would it cost MIM to allow her
boyfriend to try to give her oral sex, even if just for
30 seconds” asks Dr. Herbenick. “If she thinks she
would enjoy the sensations and pleasures of oral
sex, if not for her genital embarrassment, why not
have a glass of wine or a beer, and kick back and
see if she can enjoy it even briefly” Or why not
pot, MIM Speaking from personal experience: Pot
works wonders for some people with body issues.
(Individual results may vary.)
“MIM could do it in the dark if she wants.
She should breathe deeply and play music she
likes,” said Dr. Herbenick. “Make it less about sex
and more about exploration. She might find that
she can get over her insecurities. Really! And
wouldn’t that be cool and possibly, quite literally,
life-changing
“There are also events MIM could attend,
like Betty Dodson’s bodysex workshops in New
York (expensive but empowering) that are all
about helping women enjoy their vulvas and their
sexuality. For a stay-at-home version, MIM could
watch Dodson’s video ‘Viva la Vulva’ by herself or
with her boyfriend.”
So let’s say you’ve read the books and
watched the videos and attended the seminars
and smoked the pot and allowed the boyfriend—
also high, perhaps blindfolded—to go down on
you, and you feel no differently about your vulva.
What then
Find the Savage Lovecast (my weekly podcast) every Tuesday
at thestranger.com/savage.mail@savagelove.net
“If nothing helps MIM see her long labia for
the national treasure they are, then yes, there’s
surgery,” said Dr. Herbenick. “And while marketing
for labiaplasty has mostly been a thing for the
past 10 to 15 years, doctors have been doing
these surgeries for ages. A few tips for MIM if she
decides to go this route: Her insurance may not
cover it and, yes, it can be painful (it’s surgery),
and it will take several weeks to heal before she
can have sex or even sit comfortably again.
A challenge with vulva surgeries, of course, is a
possible risk of loss of or change to sensation,
and there is very little research on the long-term
outcomes of these surgeries, in spite of the claims
on many surgeons’ websites.”
Dr. Herbenick suggests that if you opt for
surgery, you look for a surgeon who has done
many labiaplasties. “I’m not a fan of the way some
doctors market their surgeries, but, yes, some
women feel better about their genitals after getting
the labia they want,” said Dr. Herbenick. “MIM
should review before and after photos first so
she can see what kind of labia she’s likely to have
afterward. Many surgeons have a certain ‘style’
that they tend to do over and over again.”
But please, MIM, Dr. Herbenick and I both
want you to give books and videos and seminars
a chance first. “If MIM is open to receiving vulvaloving
propaganda from me, I will gladly send her
a care package of books, postcards, and other fun
things in hopes that she might learn to love her
labia,” said Dr. Herbenick. “But I’d also be among
the first to send her a congratulatory card on her
new labia if she decides surgery is the right option
for her. After all, I’m a vulva supporter whether that
person’s vulva is the one they were born with or
the one they had made for themselves sometime
later in life.” Follow Dr. Herbenick on Twitter @
DebbyHerbenick.
I am a 24-year-old woman who loves
everything butt—except butthole. Anal
penetration and anilingus are hard limits
for me, but the most sensitive erogenous
zones on my body are my cheeks, crack, and
coin slot. But I can’t figure out a clear way
to communicate this. Terms like “ass play”
generally mean assHOLE play. I can’t be the
only person who feels this way. Help a girl
get her ass worked (but not fucked), and
give me a term!
– Nuts For Butts
Some sexual interests and/or limits are too
complicated to be expressed with a simple term,
NFB. So you’ll have to use your words: “I love
having my butt played with—cheeks, crack, coin
slot—but my butthole is off-limits. Get on my ass,
not in it.”
This girl just hit a bump with her boyfriend. I
offered to do something he secretly wanted
to try, and he said, “Urinate on me.” I get
the fantasy—surrender, being marked, the
naughtiness. However, I can’t imagine liking
it and I do not want to build it into our
repertoire. Set aside that I have no idea how
to do it so it’s sexy, safe, and sanitary. Is it
okay to negotiate “one-and-done” and put it
on my “No” list afterward
– Wet And Wild
You can certainly negotiate a “one-and-done”
agreement, WAW, but if you find the idea
upsetting—if the thought doesn’t just leave you
cold but actually revolts and/or traumatizes
you—then you don’t have to go through with it.
(You’re not trapped in some fetish version of The
Merchant of Venice, WAW. You don’t need a Portia
to rescue you from this verbal contract.) As for
sexy, safe, and sanitary: You don’t have to find
it sexy, he’s not going to drown, droppeth your
gentle rain upon him in the tub.
On the Lovecast, Damon L. Jacobs on the PrEP
controversy: savagelovecast.com.
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DecemBER 5, 2014 55

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Servers needed for a Lively Bistro
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We are looking for enthusiastic and dedicated
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We need: Waiters / Waitresses /
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We welcome you to our team if you are
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Our company was established
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Love singing. Clear Pronunciation.
For Hotel and Casino
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56 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECemBER 5, 2014

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Remarkable hospitality careers
As the largest and most prestigious membership club in Asia, our members are drawn
from the upper echelons of the city’s business, government and social communities. We
recognise the importance of valuing our employees in the same way that we value our
customers, and that is why our team is always dedicated to providing award-winning
services to our guests, whatever the occasion. The Hong Kong Jockey Club is full of
remarkable career opportunities, so take a look and find out which suits you best.
Food & Beverage Manager
Sous Chef (South East Asia Cuisine)
Membership Services Support Manager
Senior Membership Services Officer
Senior Waiter/ress (Coffee Shop)
Waiter/ress (Coffee Shop / Chinese Restaurant / Banquet)
Supervisor (Trackside Catering)
Catering Support Services Supervisor
Catering Support Services Assistant
Junior Cook (Western)
Catering Attendant (Overnight)
Catering Attendant
Sports & Leisure Attendant
Temporary Membership Services Officer (Hotline)
Work Location: Happy Valley / Sha Tin
How to Apply
Please fax/mail your resume, complete with expected salary and job reference to:
Email: recruit7@hkjc.org.hk
Fax: 2966-7002
Mail: The Human Resources Department
The Hong Kong Jockey Club
1 Sports Road, Happy Valley
Hong Kong
Find out more about the remarkable opportunity today. Visit our website at
www.hkjc.com now.
We are an equal opportunity employer.
Personal data collected will be used for recruitment purposes only.
s
Rt Jobs
HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, DECemBER 5, 2014 57

ackup
First Person
Piano virtuoso Yundi Li has been in the spotlight since he was 18, and the Chopin specialist is
one of China’s most renowned classical musicians. Ahead of a concert at the Hong Kong Coliseum,
he tells Andrea Lo about the unconventional choice of venue and his thoughts on female fans.
I don’t think
classical music is
boring. I think law
is boring.
I suggest everyone study classical
music from a young age.
I was born in Chongqing. I come from a
family in education—my grandparents both
worked in the sector.
On tour, there is really no time to relax.
I do rehearsals, then perform. The only
thing I can do is sleep more.
I don’t think classical music is boring.
That’s just what people think it is. I think
law is boring.
You need to study classical music first—
and then you will understand it.
To become a pianist, it is best to
start learning from the ages of 4 or 5.
I started playing the piano at 7 years old.
It’s quite old to be starting, but I had
been learning the accordion for a few
years prior. I switched to the piano as
a challenge.
When I was 18, I won the [2000]
International Chopin Competition.
I decided that piano and music would
be my life, and began my career in music
after that.
If you ask any musician, talent and
practice are both important. Alongside
talent, you need to love music.
If you really love something, everything
becomes very smooth.
This concert is a very special one for me.
A classical musician normally only plays in a
concert hall, like the Cultural Centre. I chose
to play at the Hong Kong Coliseum because
I want more young people to be in touch
with classical music.
I want to let the next generation know and
understand what classical music is.
I think my lifestyle, my taste and everything
are fashionable. That is how I can relate to
young people. But I present music that is
historic and legendary. That is how I find a
connection with my fans, and how we find a
middle ground in understanding each other.
[Female fans] like me and pay attention to
my life, and of course, I really appreciate them.
It is because of [my fans] that my dreams
come true.
I think my career has progressed quite
well. I’m doing the things that I want.
Sometimes, you become disappointed
and you are a little bit unhappy—but that’s
normal. In life, you’re not always happy.
What’s important is how you can keep
going, and go in the direction that you want.
Hong Kong’s food is among the best
in the world. From noodles to dumplings
to pork—everything is so colorful.
I live in Beijing, but I hope to be able to
be here part of the year to feel this fantastic
city’s energy.
The most important lesson I’ve learned
is to do the best of your ability in everything
you do.
I love to perform, I love music and I
love the piano. That’s why I can keep
developing my talent and let it show.
I have 14 concerts coming up. It’s
a busy and tiring schedule. My mind is
excited and energized, but my body is
exhausted. I need a week to recharge
my batteries.
My goal now is to inspire young people,
especially in China.
China’s classical music scene is growing.
You can see that 15 million people are learning
the piano. In the future, there will be more and
more musicians coming to the classical music
stage. This is a good sign for our musical and
cultural development.
The most valuable thing in life is to be
yourself, do the things that you really want—
and not to worry about anything.
Yundi Li performs Beethoven’s
“Emperor” Piano Concerto No. 5 on
Dec 13, 8:15pm. Hong Kong Coliseum,
9 Cheong Wan Rd., Hung Hom.
$250-1,250 from www.urbtix.hk.
XKCD
Randall Munroe
58 HK MAGAZINE FRIDAY, deceMBER 5, 2014