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SEXUAL ABUSE AND EXPLOITATION OF BOYS IN SOUTH ASIA A ...

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some organizations working with abused children focus on seeking solutions within the<br />

family unit. 152<br />

The family’s reluctance to report abuse provides an effective screen of silence that allows<br />

abuse of children with impunity. There is a strong tendency to blame victims rather than<br />

accuse perpetrators, and the cultural preference is to cover up the problem rather than risk<br />

exposure by seeking justice. 153 Thus, the rights of abused children are subservient to the<br />

family’s perceived honour and integrity, and the child submits to the will of the family.<br />

Families feel powerless when abuse occurs, and with some justification. Stigma can be<br />

extreme, sometimes resulting in social exclusion and preventing the marriage of daughters. If<br />

the perpetrator is a person with local economic power, such as a businessman, exposure can<br />

affect the family’s already insecure income. If the perpetrator is a person of influence in the<br />

community, such as a local politician, policeman, trafficker or thug, the family may put itself<br />

at risk of physical reprisal.<br />

Traditional practices of child-raising, particularly discipline, have an impact on the sexual<br />

abuse of children. 154 Parents frequently don’t recognize, or admit, the sexual growth of their<br />

child and the child’s increasing vulnerability. Corporal punishment of children is often<br />

routine, and adult power over children is absolute. Children are seldom allowed a ‘voice’,<br />

whether in decision-making or in protesting their harm. They are afraid to report abuse, not<br />

only because they think they would not be believed or because they feel ashamed, but because<br />

they would be physically punished. This often results in a double coercion of the child victim<br />

– coercion into silence by the abuser as well as coercion into silence by the family. 155<br />

Even if families were willing to risk exposure, many feel that they could not get proper<br />

redress through the justice system. In a 1996 survey of corruption, 96 per cent of respondents<br />

said they could not get help from police without money or influence, and 89 per cent said that<br />

quick and just settlement from the courts was impossible without bribes or influence. 156<br />

Although research to date is inconclusive, the long-term social impact of abuse on boys may<br />

differ considerably from that of girls. Boys are less likely than girls to be labelled as ‘spoiled’<br />

(noshto), and the abuse of boys is less likely to restrict the future marriage of female<br />

siblings. 157 While girls marry early, and sexual abuse can destroy their opportunities for good<br />

marriage, boys generally marry in their mid to late 20s, long after the abuse has occurred.<br />

Research indicates that abused boys in rural areas suffer less from social stigma than boys in<br />

urban areas. 158<br />

152<br />

For example, the counselling unit at Dhaka Shishu Hospital, Dhaka.<br />

153<br />

Heissler, K., op.cit.<br />

154<br />

Breaking the Silence Group, 1997, ‘Non-commercial sexual abuse of children in Bangladesh: A case study<br />

based report’.<br />

155<br />

Subbian, R., 2004, ‘Assessment on the psychosocial support to sexually abused children in the partner<br />

programmes of Save the Children Sweden-Denmark, Bangladesh’.<br />

156<br />

The World Bank, 2000, ‘Corruption in Bangladesh: Costs and cures’.<br />

157 Breaking the Silence Group, op.cit.<br />

158 Ibid.<br />

48

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