Spring 2012 - Clarion University

41
Deborah Burghardt, Ph.D.
Director, women and gender studies
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In Chinese culture, drawing attention to oneself is discouraged. Thus, my traveling companions,
Sue, Cheryl, Cass (my BFF) and I constantly stood out against the backdrop of a reserved
people. We were unable or unwilling to give up our group identity — four loud, laughing women, touring
Chinese cities more than 6,000 miles from our western Pennsylvania homes.
While touring Tiananmen Square, we told those who requested a picture with us, “They based
Sex and the City on our stories, you know.” It was an exaggeration of course, and most everyone did
not fall for it. Once we appeased our audience by admitting we were the foursome’s mothers. In
reality, we were four women with distinct personalities and an accumulation of six decades under our
bras. We had ventured to China, inspired by Sue and Cheryl’s niece, Madison, who had committed
to teaching English for a year there.
Cass procrastinates when it comes to packing for a trip. Finally, after hours had passed with no
sign of her readiness for the road, I phoned. “I’m trying to hurry,” Cass answered, “but I can’t figure out
what to take.”
“Don’t worry about it,” I replied, trying hard not to sound impatient. “Throw a little of everything
in your bag. We’ll sort it out when we get to Sue’s house. Cass,” I reminded, “you’re traveling with
three women – someone is bound to have whatever you need.”
I can still see Cass, sitting cross-legged on Sue’s shiny hardwood floor, suitcase open, all
manner of clothes spilling out like the endless streamer of scarves the magician pulls from a sleeve. A
tangle of blond and auburn hair strands frame a face with delicate features. She prefers the I-justgot-out-of-bed-after-great-sex
look.
“How many bras do you think I’ll need” she asked.
“I’m taking three and wearing one, four for 10 days, that should be enough,” I said confidently.
“What You don’t want a clean bra for every day” The sound of Sue’s shock reverberated
throughout the room.
“You’re taking 10 bras” Cass and I spoke in unison.
Then Cass, quick wit that she is, challenged Sue’s reasoning: “Lots of panties, I can understand,”
she said. “But what fluids are involved with your breasts sitting in a bra”
“I’ve always changed my bra every day, even if I don’t shower,” Sue said with authority. “How
can you two stand not to” I recognized her disdain, which I took in stride. From the time we met in
college, I have admired this woman’s self-assuredness, her drive for control, her ability to travel the
world. (Hence, why I have the pleasure of writing this tale.)
“Well,” I chimed in to defend my upbringing, “My mother taught me there’s no problem in wearing
the same clothes another day or two unless they’re filthy dirty, ripped, stained or they stink!”
Silence. While Cass and I pondered how she was going to fit all those bras into a carry-on, the only